Rise (25 page)

As we looked at each other, I could feel fear fill my face as my cheeks grew full.

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare!” He threw off his seat belt, climbed across the front seats, and opened my car door before turning and frantically trying to unfasten my seat belt. “Get out before you spew all over me.”

In a panic I pushed against him, throwing him back against the windshield as I clumsily climbed out of the car. I hadn’t made it twenty feet before throwing up.

“Coop,” my voice quivered, “where are you?”

Within a few moments he walked up behind me while I leaned over and spit repeatedly into the overgrown grass below me.

“Here.” He held a T-shirt over my shoulder. “Wipe your mouth.”

“The shirt stinks.”

“Not any worse than you do right now.”

I yanked it out of his hand before starting to vomit again. He gathered the hair onto the back of my neck and held it out of the way. “You okay down there?” His voice had suddenly turned soft. “Anything I can do?”

“Don’t you be nice to me, Cooper Truman. I don’t like you, and I sure don’t want you being nice to me.”

“I’m not. I just don’t want you in the car with the smell of puke in your hair. It’ll stink up my car for months.”

“Good, because I can’t handle you being nice to me right now.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. The last thing I want to be is nice. I’d rather give you a piece of my mind.”

“Spare me the lecture.”

“Are you about done?” he asked.

“Done what? Puking or griping?”

“Both.”

“I don’t know.” I was spitting again.

“Well, hang out down there until you’re finished.”

A couple of minutes passed as I made sure that my stomach had stopped seizing and I wouldn’t be throwing up again. “All right, I guess I’m done.”

I stood upright, wiped the T-shirt across my mouth several times, and then handed it out to him.

“Uh, no,” he said. “You keep it. It can be a piece of memorabilia from your night of sin.”

“You think this is funny?” I asked.

“What?”

“You’re laughing at me, you big butthead.”

“I am not.”

I threw my hands onto my hips.

“Okay, well, maybe I’m laughing at you a little.”

I felt my face crumble and tears start flowing.

“Oh, come on. It’s just funny, seeing you like this. I’m not laughing at you as much as—”

“You’re laughing at me!”

“Yes.” He threw his arms up in surrender. “I’m most certainly laughing at you. I can’t help myself. You look completely pitiful. Your eyes are all red, and you’ve got snot running down your face. This is priceless.”

I sat on the ground, pulled my legs up to my chest, and looked over at him with my head lying on my knees. It was the only way I could keep my head from spinning. “I’m glad you’re getting a kick out of all this.”

He sat down next to me. “What exactly is ‘all this’?”

“I was out partying. Isn’t that what people do to have a good time?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh yes, I forgot; you don’t have a life.”

“I have a life; it just isn’t anything like this.”

“See what you’ve been missing out on all this time? Doesn’t it look like a blast?”

“Can I ask why you’re doing this?”

“I was going to marry Riley one day, that’s why,” I admitted.

“Thinking of marrying Riley makes you want to get drunk and vomit?”

“Not exactly.” I wiped my face with the T-shirt again.

“What are you, like, sixteen? I can’t believe Riley asked you to marry him already.”

“I’m seventeen, thank you very much. And he didn’t ask me to marry him.”

“Then why did you say you were going to marry him?”

“Because I thought I was. He didn’t ask me to or anything; I just thought that one day we would be. Like in a lot of years.”

“And now? Do you still think you’re going to be marrying him?”

“Well, obviously not. We broke up. I moved away. That’s it; it’s over.”

I turned to face him and crossed my legs. I assumed he would do the same, but he didn’t. I guess he wasn’t aware of the knee-to-knee technique.

“I didn’t want to blame him,” I sniveled.

“Blame him for what?”

“What if we’d been married for twenty years and I decided I missed out on tons of fun because we’d been together our entire lives. And what if I started to wonder what all I missed out on?”

“You think you’d regret missing out on vomiting on the side of the road at two o’clock on a Saturday morning?”

“Not that part exactly.”

“Or having some drunken guy paw all over you?”

“Not that part either.”

“Or—”

“Enough already.”

“What part then?”

“He’s partied and kissed girls, and he had a life before me. My entire teenage existence before him involved a hospital room or my bedroom. I’ve hardly experienced life apart from him.”

“I see.”

“It just makes more sense to try it all now. So, when my dad made me go to the stupid party, I figured I might was well let it rip. Although I didn’t intend on getting sloshed, I guess it’s one new experience out of many that I probably should eventually get around to.”

“Well, you better get busy, because if you’re going try it all, it could take awhile.”

“I know. That’s my point.”

“So let’s see, you’ve gotten getting drunk accomplished, puking due to an overconsumption of alcohol, attacked by a rabid male … What’s left? Drugs, becoming a hippie, maybe a speeding ticket or two? A tattoo? Is that the kind of stuff you had in mind?”

“Not so much.”

“So what were you thinking?”

“Well, obviously I wasn’t,” I cried.

“Obviously.”

“This hasn’t quite turned out how I’d planned.”

“You actually planned this?” He laughed. “Well, that’s pitiful. At least when I make horrible decisions it’s because I’m an idiot. You actually put thought into this horrible plan.”

“It’s not like this kind of life comes naturally to me.”

“Then why do it?”

I shrugged. “Doing right didn’t win me any points. Life was harder when I was doing what I was supposed to. Life just got worse and worse.”

“I see. So you figured you’d go out on your own, throw caution to the wind, and see if life got any easier?”

“Maybe.”

“That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.”

“Well, now that I say it out loud, it sounds stupid.”

“Imagine being the one to hear it. It sounds even worse.”

“You’re not one to talk, you know. It’s not like you’re an angel or anything. I know all about you.”

His eyebrows raised, and he grinned. “Really? I can’t wait to hear this. I’m sure it’s priceless.”

“I’m not getting into this with you right now. It’s one thirty in the morning, remember?”

“I’m not in any hurry.”

“My dad’s probably freaking out. I need to get home.”

“Fine.” He stood and held out his hand for me to grab. “Then let’s get you home. We’ll discuss all of this another day.”

“Oh no, we won’t.” I slapped his hand away and stood on my own, albeit a little wobbly. “I have no intention of ever hanging out with you. I don’t like you, remember?”

“Well, you liked me enough to call me and have me come get you.”

“No, I called you because you’re the only person whose phone number I had.”

“So you’re using me?”

“Basically. I needed a ride.”

“Well, my dear, my rides don’t come for free. You owe me.”

“Owe you what?

“The very least you can do is tell me why you dislike me so much. It’s not as if I’ve ever done anything to you.”

I laughed. “You can’t be serious. You sabotaged my life!”

“There’s that sabotage word again. What are you talking about? How did I sabotage your life? You lived in Oklahoma, and I lived here. I haven’t talked to you in months.”

“You didn’t want Riley and me together.”

He looked shocked. “What?”

“You told my dad on us.”

“I told your dad on you? What does that even mean?”

“He came to Oklahoma to bring me home. You told him I was living with Riley and dating him. You told him I’d had an abortion. You’re a tattletale and a liar.”

“Abortion? I never said such a thing.”

“He said your mom told him—”

“Why are you blaming me for something my mom told him? I never even heard that piece of news.”

“Then how did she hear it?”

“I don’t know. My family lives in Guthrie, remember? Maybe they heard it there. Trust me, it wasn’t me. I don’t even talk to anyone back there.”

“How would your mother get the information to my dad?”

“My parents come to town a lot. They’ve gone to dinner with your dad a few times to talk about the stables and stuff. I don’t know, I don’t get involved in their business, but I can guarantee you that I never told your dad you’d had an abortion. Even if I had heard it, I wouldn’t be telling anyone about it. It’s none of my business.”

“Well, I didn’t, you know.”

“Didn’t what?”

“Have an abortion.”

“I didn’t think you did. Now, I may have mentioned to him that you and Riley were dating, but—”

“See, you did tattle on us.”

“You mean he didn’t already know?”

“Of course not.”

“How was I supposed to know you were hiding it from him? Why would I think you would be?”

“Coop, I hadn’t talked to the man in four months.”

“And how was I supposed to know that? You can’t be serious. You’re blaming me for telling your dad something that I assumed he already knew? You’re basically accusing me of trying break you and Riley up?”

“Pretty much.”

“That’s classic.” He let out a disgusted laugh before turning and walking toward the Hummer. “I’ve never been a big Riley Bennett fan, but I certainly never tried to break you two up once you were together.”

“Once we were together?” I marched after him. “What does that mean?”

He quickly turned to face me, which caused me to stumble backward. “I asked you out last year; that’s no secret. But once I realized you and Riley were together, I backed off. You can’t blame me for the two of you breaking up. You did that all on your own.” He turned away from me again and opened the car door. “Get in the car.”

“No.” I turned back around and walked out into the grass.

“Attie?” I heard the car door slam behind me. “What’s going on? Am I taking you home or not?”

“Yes. Just not right now.”

“Are you feeling sick again?”

“No.” I sat on the ground and then lay on my back. “You’re right.”

“What?” He sat down next to me.

“You’re right. I can’t blame you. I broke it off with Riley all on my own. I chose to come back here. I made this decision.”

“You don’t seem happy about being back.”

“It’s just taking some getting used to, that’s all. All of my old friends moved on with their lives. They have new friends. I don’t really fit in.”

“You don’t want to fit in.”

“Maybe. I’ve just got to survive a few more months, and then I’m done and can start concentrating on college.”

“Where will you go to school?”

“Here. Dad pulled some strings.”

“And Riley?”

“What about him?”

“Where will he be?”

“Somewhere back home—I mean, somewhere in Oklahoma, I’m sure.”

“You’re not going to try to be closer to each other?”

“He hates me. The last thing he wants is to have me nearby.”

“No, he loves you, and you broke up with him. How do you expect him to feel?”

“I didn’t break up with him, per se.”

He looked at me with eyebrows raised.

“Well, I was moving away. It’s what was best.”

“Just because it’s what’s best doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. When he looked into his future, I’d bet he saw you in it. I highly doubt he saw this coming.”

“Well, I didn’t see it coming either. It’s as much a shock to me as him, and I’m just as miserable as he is. What else could I have done?”

“You could have stayed.”

“It would have made my dad furious.”

“Since when do you owe your dad anything?”

I didn’t bother to answer the question.

“Attie, your dad is your past. What if Riley is your future?”

“He’s not.”

“How do you know that?”

“People don’t find the love of their lives when they’re sixteen years old. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Sometimes it does.”

“Not this time.”

“If you’re so miserable, why did you even do it?”

“I had to.”

“Why?”

“To prove to myself that I could live without him.”

He reached over and peeled a clump of hair off my face. “So when are you going to start?”

“Start what?”

“Living.”

chapter 34

I opened the front door and stepped into the silent home and into my room so I could change out of my ridiculous school uniform and into something more comfortable. I dug into the back of my closet and pulled out the first sweatshirt I could grab. Seeing the large OU logo emblazoned on the front, I shoved it back in and reached for another. No need to remind myself of home—or what was once home, anyway.

“Am I going to have to drag you out of this room?”

I looked up and spotted Cooper standing in my doorway as I pulled a blue sweatshirt over my T-shirt. “Hey, Coop.”

“Are you ever planning on coming out of the basement?”

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

His arms folded across his chest as a scowl formed on his face. “Well, that doesn’t sound promising.”

“I thought you said you’d give me some time.”

“That was a while back. We’ve been cooped up in this house every day after school for almost a month. Don’t you think it’s time to get out and do something?”

“Do I bore you?”

“Never. I’m just getting worried about you, that’s all.”

I gave him a quick hug then slid past him and toward the theater room as he followed behind. “Want to watch some Oprah?”

“Not really. I’d rather find out what’s going on with you.”

“Nothing. Nothing’s going on with me.” I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders as I sat in the chair. “Have a seat.”

He sat on the arm of a recliner and gloomily looked down on me. “If this is you better off than before, then I’m actually glad I didn’t date you last summer. You would have been a total downer.”

“I thought you were here to try to make me feel better.”

“I am.”

“Well, you’re doing a sucky job.”

A wide grin covered his face and exposed his bright white teeth. “We’ve got to get you out of this house.”

“I don’t want to get out of this house. I like it here.”

His smile disappeared and was replaced by a slight frown. “You hate it here.”

“Well, I like hating it. It keeps me in my depressed state, which I’ve come to find very comforting.”

“That’s never a good sign. Attie, it’s not good for anyone to want to stay cooped up in their house all alone. Especially a house that has as many bad memories as this one does.”

“It has good memories too.”

“Really? Are those the ones that are keeping you depressed?”

“No.”

“Are you even thinking about the good memories?”

“No, but don’t worry, I’m fine. And I’m not alone. I’ve had you to keep me company for the last month.”

“Not that I haven’t enjoyed spending all this time with you, because I have, but your dad’s worried, and I’m worried.”

“Worried about what?”

“Worried that this depressing routine of yours is going to become your norm.” He stood up and motioned for me to follow. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“To get you packed.”

“Packed?”

“We’re going skiing.”

“Skiing? I don’t know how to ski.”

He stopped abruptly, causing me to run into him as he turned to face me. “Attie, you’ve said it yourself—it’s time to try something new.” His hands rested on my shoulders as he smiled down at me.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have the whitest teeth they’ve ever seen?”

He laughed. “No. That’s the oddest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“You have a bright smile. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you.”

His left eyebrow rose. “Oh really?” He playfully pulled me more closely to him. “You noticed me, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Like, noticed noticed me or just noticed me?”

I shoved him backward. “Quit it. Like you’ve never had a girl notice you before.” I walked past him and into my bedroom.

“So when was it? When did you notice me?”

“Coop,” I moaned.

“Seriously, I want to know. When were you checking me out?”

“It was at the pool party, and I wasn’t checking you out. It was my job to watch. I was a judge, but you probably don’t remember that.”

“Oh, I remember. I also remember you only gave me a nine.” He sat on the bed and watched as I rummaged through my dresser drawers.

“A nine was all you deserved.”

“What else did you notice?”

“Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you. Come on, make my day. Tell me you noticed something else.”

I stopped pulling clothes out of the dresser and turned to face him.

“Please,” he asked, grinning.

“I noticed that we have a few things in common.”

“Hmm,” he said, nodding. “I’ll take that. So if Riley hadn’t been around … ”

“Don’t even go there.”

“ … and I hadn’t lived so far away … Maybe, just maybe … ”

“No sense in speculating. It is what it is.”

“Correction, it was what it was. Circumstances change.”

“You better stop talking like that if you want me to go on this trip with you. Wait, what am I saying? I don’t want to go on this trip with you.”

“You don’t have a choice. Consider yourself forced.”

“By whom?”

“Me and your dad.”

“Is my dad going?”

“No. But he knows you’re going, and he’s very happy about it.”

“He’s probably just happy to get me out of his hair.”

“I think you need to give him a little more credit than that. He is your dad. He’s worried.”

“Then it’s a change of pace.”

“A good change of pace.”

I tossed a few more items into my bag and zipped it until it got stuck midway. “Well, if I go, know that I’m going as nothing more than a friend. The last thing I want to do is have to worry about what you’re thinking the whole time.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be a perfect gentleman. All I want is for you to have a good time. Well, that and for you to return non-injured.”

“The non-injured part would be the most important. I’ve spent enough of my life in a hospital bed.”

As he reached over to help me finish zipping the bag, his hands brushed mine, causing me to quickly draw them away.

Once the bag was closed, Cooper threw the bag strap over his shoulder and made his way toward my doorway. “I’ll take very good care of you, Attie.” He turned to face me. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you while you’re on my watch; I can promise you that.”

I followed him up the stairs and grabbed my coat from the closet. “And you’re sure my dad knows about this?”

“Yes, I suggested it when we talked last time. He thought it sounded like a great idea.”

“He must trust you.”

“Either that or he really wants you out of the house. Which he does. Here.” He tossed me a set of car keys. “You’re driving.”

“Huh?”

“Last summer I promised you that you could drive the Hummer sometime. Here’s your chance.”

“Get out! We’re driving the Hummer? How obnoxiously wonderful is that?”

He laughed. “Very obnoxious. We’ll fit right in with the rest of the show-offs. It’ll be great.”

I ran past him, out the door and into the driveway.

“Are you going to lock up your house?”

“This is going to be awesome!”

“Attie, are you not going to lock up?”

“You’re seriously going to let me drive this behemoth?”

“Why not?” He pulled the front door shut.

“I’ve had my license for less than a year and Riley usually drove us everywhere we went.”

“You’re your own woman; I think you can handle driving. Plus, my dad’s got great insurance.”

I watched Cooper throw my bag into the backseat, and then we both climbed in.

“This is the coolest vehicle ever. You’ve got to feel like a total stud driving around in this thing.”

He grinned and nodded as a blush colored his face.

“You do, don’t you?” I teased.

“Maybe a little bit. Wouldn’t you?”

“I knew it.”

“Can we change the subject please?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush.”

“Well, the weekend’s just starting; depending on how it goes, you may see me blush a few more times.”

“Wait, the weekend? We’re staying the whole weekend?”

“Why did you think you were packing a bag?”

“I have no idea. You told me to pack a bag, so I did.”

“Do you do everything you’re asked without questioning why?”

“Tammy was right. You do always answer a question with a question.”

“It leads to more stimulating conversation. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“No, it leads to a migraine. Where are we staying, anyway?”

“My parents have a cabin. Why?”

“Are they going to be there?”

“No.”

“Will there be any adults at all?”

“No.”

“Well, who’s going to chaperone?”

He broke out in laughter. “We don’t need a chaperone. Do we?”

“You’re a guy and I’m a girl—”

“Yes.”

“We’re going to be alone in a cabin.”

“We aren’t dating, Attie; we’re friends.”

“I know that.”

“And we each have our own separate rooms. There’s no need for a chaperone. Unless of course … ”

“‘Of course’ what?”

“Unless you think you can’t control yourself around me.”

I shot an evil glance his direction before stabbing the key into the ignition and starting the car. “Dream on.”

We’d only been in the car for half an hour when I finally couldn’t stand the suspense any longer and asked the question that I’d wanted the answer to for months.

“So did you really cheat on Melody with Tiffany?”

I glanced over at him and noticed a shocked expression on his face, which confirmed that I’d caught him completely off guard.

“That came out of nowhere.”

“Did you?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“I want to know.”

“And you want to discuss it now? Can’t we just enjoy the drive?”

“Now’s the perfect time because you can’t escape.”

He leaned forward and rested his head on the dashboard. “All right, where’d you hear it?”

“Some of the girls were talking about it. They said that’s why you and Riley hate each other.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before leaning back in his seat. “Yes, I cheated on Melody with Tiff.”

“Oh.”

“I never should have dated Melody in the first place. She was too young … and innocent. And at the time, I didn’t want to be so innocent.”

My grip on the steering wheel tightened to the point that my fingers throbbed. “So you broke up with her because she wouldn’t put out.”

“I’m not proud of it, Attie. I know it was wrong. I deserved every consequence I suffered.”

“What consequences?”

“Well, I hurt Melody, for one, and she never forgave me—or had the chance to. Riley not only despises me but we got in a fight over it, and from then on all the girls at school saw me as someone who was only after one thing.”

“I don’t get it. Why do guys have to act like that? It’s just sex, for crying out loud. Is it worth all that?”

“Surely you and Riley—”

“Surely me and Riley nothing. Don’t loop us into your group.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him twist in his seat until he was facing me. “You’re going to sit there and tell me you and Riley never—”

“Is your seat belt on?”

“Yes. So you and Riley never—”

“No. We never did.”

“Wow.”

“I bet now you’re glad you and I never went out. You would’ve been frustrated and miserable and dumped me in less than a week.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I’d give it up for the right girl if I had to.”

“But you don’t give it up for every girl?”

“Not every girl wants me to.”

“How are you so sure? For all you know, every girl only does it because she thinks it’s the only way she can keep you. I mean, have you ever asked?”

“No, but it’s not like its hundreds of girls or anything.”

“Well, how many?”

He readjusted again in his seat and turned toward the window. “I’m not answering that.”

“I told you I hadn’t done it.”

“You told me you hadn’t done it with Riley. You never said you hadn’t done it at all.”

“Well, if I didn’t do it with Riley, then who on God’s green earth would I be doing it with?”

“Nobody, I guess. And for some reason I find the news a huge relief.”

“So how many?”

“Attie, stop.” He nervously tapped on the window. “Seriously, you need to stop.”

“What are you going to do, beat me up?

“Maybe I should. You’re journeying into hostile territory.”

“It must be a lot if you don’t want to tell me.”

“How many do you consider a lot?’

“How old are you?”

He folded his arms across his chest. “I just turned twenty.”

“Good grief, Coop, you shouldn’t be doing it at all. You’re only twenty, you’re not married—”

“Obviously.”

“You aren’t even in a serious relationship.”

He spun around and faced me again. “What planet are you living on?”

“It really is a good thing we never went out. We see life very differently.”

“I told you I would hold out for the right person.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I would.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You’d say you would but then end up cheating or leaving.”

“Why would you even say that?”

“You did it to Melody, didn’t you?”

“I was a lot younger then, Attie. I was an idiot, and I wouldn’t have known a good thing if I saw it.”

“And you would know now, at the ripe old age of twenty?”

“Trust me, I know if a good thing is sitting next to me.” His voice shuddered, but I couldn’t tell if it was because he was angry or amused. “Here’s the real question.” He leaned forward again. “Would you rule out someone like me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Someone who’s made mistakes, maybe has been with more people than they should have, but realizes it and wants to change. Would you give that person a chance?”

“I may not have much of a choice. The older I get, the less chance I have of finding someone who hasn’t. It’s like I’m some kind of freak or something. No guy wants a virgin, for crying out loud.”

“Every guy wants a virgin.”

I felt a laugh flow out of my throat.

“They do,” he demanded. “They may not think they want to date a virgin, but when it comes time to get serious and find ‘the one,’ I think every guy wishes they would be someone’s ‘only one.’”