Richard Yates (25 page)

“It’s from the night we went to New York City.”

“How did you get it?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“The night we went to New York City.”

“How?” said Haley Joel Osment.

Dakota Fanning stared ahead for about ten seconds.

“A steak knife,” she said in a loud monotone.

“Did you write about it?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“No. I’ve been writing about other things. I thought it was insignifi cant. There’s also one on my neck.” Haley Joel Osment asked how she got one on her neck. She said when he was upstairs using the computer she opened the drawer and looked at the different knives and chose the steak knife and held it to her neck. “Then I think I cried and just cut my arm,” she said. “I put the knife back and closed the drawer and brought you the vegan burger and tomato bowl.

It was stupid.”

“When you said you wouldn’t cut yourself anymore did you mean you wouldn’t cut yourself hard?”

“No,” said Dakota Fanning in a bored voice.

Haley Joel Osment stood and left the room. He went in the bathroom. He left the bathroom. He stood in the living room staring at the TV. People were playing soccer. People were holding digital cameras. Dakota Fanning hugged him from behind. He touched her arms a little. He held her arms mhp-yates-01.indd 200

mhp-yates-01.indd 200

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

201
•
Richard Yates

to his body. “Are you hungry?” he said in a strange voice without thinking.

“Yes,” said Dakota Fanning. “I think we’re leaving soon. I’ll eat something healthy at home.”

“Luna Bar,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“It’s okay. I’ll just have a smoothie when we get

home.”

Haley Joel Osment said she should eat more times

throughout the day and whenever hungry to prevent urges to binge-eat. He walked away and opened the refrigerator and closed the refrigerator. Dakota Fanning took a “Peanut Butter Cookie” Luna Bar from her bag and stood eating it. They looked at each other from across the kitchen with neutral facial expressions for about fi ve seconds. An aunt came in the kitchen and said something. Dakota Fanning and Haley Joel Osment went outside, walked over the yard in the dark, went in the backseat of the car. Dakota Fanning’s parents were in the car. Haley Joel Osment took his Moleskine notebook from his pocket and wrote “mail checks to HSBC.” He wrote “email Thaddeus.” He wrote

“50 push-ups.” He put the notebook in his pocket and stared ahead. Dakota Fanning held his hand. He moved his hands under his thighs and closed his eyes. After a few minutes he opened his eyes and saw Dakota Fanning’s cell phone lit on her lap. He reached toward the cell phone and asked what she was doing. “I’m using the light to write in my notebook,” she said in a panicked voice. “I can’t write and hold your hand at the same time. Do you want me to hold your hand instead?” Haley Joel Osment did not respond.

About fi ve minutes later the car stopped at an intersection where a right turn would go to Dakota Fanning’s house.

mhp-yates-01.indd 201

mhp-yates-01.indd 201

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

Tao Lin
•
202

Dakota Fanning’s mother turned left. Haley Joel Osment closed his eyes and felt himself trying to close his eyes again.

“Two ways to be better,” he thought quickly. “I can accept.

Complain. I can feel bad. Or the other thing. Or the other thing.” He opened his eyes and saw Wal-Mart, that it was raining, that Dakota Fanning wasn’t writing in her notebook and closed his eyes. The car turned onto the gravel parking lot. Dakota Fanning looked at Haley Joel Osment’s face and said “Thank you for coming.” Haley Joel Osment said

“Thank you for inviting me to spend Thanksgiving with your family” to her mother. “You’re welcome,” said Dakota Fanning’s mother. “Happy Thanksgiving.” Haley Joel Osment looked at Dakota Fanning’s father staring ahead at the windshield or the forest. “Bye,” said Dakota Fanning.

Haley Joel Osment looked in her direction without focusing on her face. He touched her shoulder a little and left the car. He jumped over a puddle and went in the restaurant.

mhp-yates-01.indd 202

mhp-yates-01.indd 202

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

Index

9/11 38

Camus 74

ADHD 11

Canada 93,

94

Alabama 23

Carol 199

Aladdin 10, 96, 140, 165, 182, 190,

CD player 23, 180

193

Chang Mao 143, 150

Albany 72,

191

Charlene 11,

190

Alberto 70

cheese beast 95–98, 100, 103, 111,

Albertson’s 139

123, 135, 190

Alice in Wonderland 126–7

Chinatown 26

Allen, Woody 83, 98

Chopin 138

American Apparel 34, 83, 99, 130, 207

Christmas 19

American
Psycho
88,

91–92

Chunking
Express
123

Ana 90, 94, 96–97, 109

Clowes, Daniel 32

Andrew 15, 87, 117

coconut water 9

Angelika Film Center 34

concrete bench 88, 117

Angle of Yaw 180

concrete slab 139

antidepressant 15,

18

Congee Village 28, 34–35

avocado sushi 9, 62

Connecticut 58–59, 64–65, 68

contact lenses 168

Babo 58–59, 68, 72

corn muffi n 114

ballerina suit 89

crab rangoon 93

Bangkok 131

crane 16,

37

Barnes & Noble 32, 139

C-Span 176

bean burrito 170

cunt 78,

101

Beattie, Ann 48

CVS 139,

197

Beckett 74,

100

biofeedback 11,

174–5

dark chocolate 43

Bjork 162

Delaware River 14, 16, 20, 71, 139

Blockbuster Video 131

Delta 113

blueberries 10, 108, 188

Dinova, Neva 20, 123

Bobst Library 9, 27, 43, 58, 64, 72,

Disney 176–8

75, 97, 104, 110, 114, 118

Dixon, Matt 82, 151–2

Bono 41,

116

driver ant 69

Border’s 139

Duane Reade 61, 83, 145

Boston 89

earthworm farm 72

Brazil 60

Easter
Parade, The
94

brewer’s yeast 179

eBay 19, 36, 139, 142–3, 179–80, 198

Buddhist Tyrannosaurus Rex 193

Edensoy 31, 40, 160, 162, 171

Bukowski, Charles 51

Eeyore 126

bulimia 151, 153, 159

eggplant 10

Burt’s Bees 183

Eightball
121–2

camera

Emory University 173, 179

digital 24, 138, 185, 198

Emu 38

disposable 16

End
of
The
Story, The
83

mhp-yates-01.indd 203

mhp-yates-01.indd 203

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

Index
•
204

Energizer e2 Lithium batteries 139

Gatorade 96

Epcot 126,

133

Georgia 70, 156, 164, 169

erhu 26

Get Up Kids 98

Ghost
World
51

facial expression

glass cylinders 19, 100

alert 117,

184

God 21, 93, 189

amused 190

Goshen 57,

195

angry 68

goth 146,

183–4

bored 63

Grand Canyon 53

calm 68

green tea extract 161

concerned 84, 99, 187

green tea pills 161

confi dent 166

Greenwich Village 35, 183

confused 92,

142

depressed 199

Halloween 153

distracted 52

hamster 7, 34, 42, 55, 83, 119, 122

excited 199

headbutt girl 76, 82, 95, 97

expectant 141

heart monitor 39, 114, 141–

friendly 186

Hemingway, Ernest 13–14, 48

happy 128

Herzog, Werner 193

intense 14

hijiki 144

nervous 29

hikikomori 178

neutral 19, 91, 115, 201

Hispanic 19,

103

sad 86,

165

H&M 143,

164

scared 84

Hoboken 61,

110

shy 16, 24, 61

Hollywood Video 92

strange 101,

184

homeless center 21, 44

upset 178,

195

Honda CRV 138–9

worried 22, 61, 165

Hot Water Music 160

Fanning, Dakota (birthday) 39, 93

Housetraining
for
Dummies
68

Fanning, Dakota (brother) 11, 15,

How
to
Steal
from
American
Apparel,
91–92, 143, 147

Whole Foods, Virgin Megastore,

Fanning, Dakota (cat) 88, 96

and Duane Reade
83

Fanning, Dakota (father) 18, 178,

HSBC 201

183, 194, 202

Husbands
and
Wives
88

Fanning, Dakota (fi sh) 56

Fanning, Dakota (mother) 10–11,

ice cream 31, 95, 164

21–22, 24, 51–52, 71, 73–75, 77, 83,

Illinois 9

87, 90–93, 97, 102, 104, 116, 142–5,

IMDb 39

147, 149, 154, 165–6, 173–4, 180,

iPod 9, 19, 180

182, 186–92, 194–5, 197–9, 202

Fanning, Dakota (therapist) 191

“Jackass” 110

Fenton, Tim 29, 116

jail 33–34, 46–47, 73, 102, 139, 180,

fl axseed 29, 108, 111, 145

190

fl ea market 55, 161

Japan 79, 140, 178, 207

Florida 25, 96, 112–5, 126, 128, 132,

Jets to Brazil 60

138–9, 142, 156, 158, 162, 164, 179

John 102, 151, 160

funnel cake 102–3

Julia 70–72, 75–77, 81, 169, 182, 185

mhp-yates-01.indd 204

mhp-yates-01.indd 204

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

205
•
Index

Kailey 23, 26, 40, 43–44, 87, 93

New Haven 64

Kailey’s mother 23

New Jersey 13, 33–34, 48, 53, 60,

Karen’s 9

62, 71, 84, 97–98, 110, 116, 118,

Kashi 165

123, 126, 128, 131, 138, 143, 180,

Kat 44,

57

183, 185

Kenny 199

Newsweek
111

killing rampage 19, 83

New
Yorker
169

Kill Your Idols 122

New
York
Times
38,

74

King
Kong
75

New York University 8–9, 75, 78, 110

Kmart 139

New Zealand penguin 163

Nicaragua 97

ledge 16–17, 20, 23, 45–46, 48, 110,

140

Nobel Prize 74, 76

Lee, Bruce 69–70

nori 86

Lemming
34, 55, 95

North Carolina 177

Loch Ness Monster 193

nutritional yeast 151, 169

lollipop 43

Orlando 126

Lower East Side 39

Osment, Haley Joel (birthday) 98, 100

Luna Bar 163, 201

Osment, Haley Joel (brother) 68

Mallory 43–44

Osment, Haley Joel (father) 33

Manhattan 8, 115, 177

Osment, Haley Joel (guide) 176

Mark 29, 96, 195

Osment, Haley Joel (mother) 126, 137

Mason, Bobbie Ann 80

Osment, Haley Joel (publisher) 176

mattress

Osment, Haley Joel (suitemate) 115

air 8, 9, 28, 37, 115

Party
Babe
94

king-size 24

Party
Girl
94

queen-size 27,

56

party girl 94, 98, 103, 119, 138, 177,

twin-size 27,

143

179

Maxim
Blender
115

PATH 61,

110

McDonald’s 8, 23, 29, 31

Megadeth 127

Pedro 30, 32, 40, 44, 87, 89, 91, 127

membership library on 76th Street 9, 39

Pedro’s mother 32, 91

message board 94, 151, 159

penis 25

Mexico 152

Penn Station 12, 27, 32, 34–36, 41,

Microsoft Paint 96, 149, 193

43, 60, 62–63, 145

Microsoft Word 82, 150, 186

Peter 114

Middletown 25, 164, 183

Philadelphia 18, 102, 160

Ming Moon 14–16, 23, 31, 87, 117

Photoshop 39

Minnesota 46

Piano
Teacher, The
92,

124

Mirah 79

pie 122,

163–4

Mississippi 128

Pilates 152, 164, 170, 198

mobile 107–8

Pittsburgh 86

Moleskine 139, 148, 185, 201

pizza 138, 160, 166

museum 8, 177, 179

pole 27,

40

MySpace 151–2

Portia, Nina 76

Myth
of
Neurosis, The
192, 196

potato salad 199

mhp-yates-01.indd 205

mhp-yates-01.indd 205

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

7/9/10 7:48:48 AM

Index
•
206

Price Chopper 21, 23–24, 49–50, 84,

tape man 45–46, 51, 78, 95, 114, 123,

88, 167

130, 162

puddle 104,

202

tape recorder 46, 94, 114

pukk 183

tempeh 144,

171

Tennessee 152

Radiohead 162

Texas 132, 137–8, 160

raft 16, 31, 88, 161

Thaddeus 201

Rancid 76

Thanksgiving 194, 197–8, 202

restaurant

Tommy gun 13

Chinese 75, 93, 150

Toy
Story
74

Italian 44

Travis 87

Japanese 164

TriBeCa 38

Thai 96,

126