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Authors: Tao Lin

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“Hi,” said a teenage boy. “How are you?”

“Alright,” said Dakota Fanning.

“How old are you?”

“25,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Where are you from?”

“Pittsburgh,” said Dakota Fanning.

“No, I mean, what nationality are you?”

“American,” said Dakota Fanning.

“You look and sound German.”

“I thought they were going to ‘jump’ us,” said Haley Joel Osment about a minute later near the steel bridge. “I felt afraid.”

“Why did you think that?” said Dakota Fanning.

“I don’t know,” said Haley Joel Osment and hit Dakota Fanning’s cheek with a rolled-up sheet of toasted nori. She made a sad facial expression. She laughed. Haley Joel Osment photographed her with his cell phone.

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Richard Yates

In Dakota Fanning’s room the windows were up and it was sunny. They lay holding each other naked under a thin sheet. After a few minutes they were asleep. The wind moved the curtains above their heads. Dakota Fanning’s cell phone rang. It was Pedro. “Oh, why,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Oh, shit. Whose pool was he in? That is very terrible. I’m with Haley. Okay. Bye.” She said her friend Travis was epileptic and had a seizure while swimming and drowned.

She whispered “What a terrible way to die” in Haley Joel Osment’s ear.

Haley Joel Osment asked how well she knew Travis

and she said not that well and they walked to a café near the train platform. Haley Joel Osment bought iced coffee.

Dakota Fanning bought sweet chai tea. They sat in a two-seat sofa facing the rest of the café. A man sat at a table and began reading a newspaper. Haley Joel Osment took Dakota Fanning’s hand and put it in his mouth. “I felt like I had to impress that guy,” he said. Dakota Fanning laughed and hugged Haley Joel Osment. “What if your mom comes in?” said Haley Joel Osment. “She won’t,” said Dakota Fanning and called her mother saying she was walking by the river because her friend died and she was sad. After about twenty minutes she and Haley Joel Osment walked across the street to Ming Moon.

Haley Joel Osment ordered food to eat on the train.

“Andrew seemed happy today,” he said on the train

platform.

“He upped his dosage,” said Dakota Fanning grinning.

Dakota Fanning’s mother called saying Kailey was at their house.

“Does she want to see you because of Travis?” said Haley Joel Osment.

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“Yes, probably,” said Dakota Fanning. “I should go.”

Haley Joel Osment sat on a concrete bench and looked at trees and a fence in the distance. The air was warm and he felt cool from the iced coffee. He was holding a novel he didn’t like that much. It was getting dark. He text-messaged Dakota Fanning “I had a good day today, was happy, it is gone forever also.” Dakota Fanning text-messaged “Sad, today was so good, Nicholas Sparks mom, want to hold you.”

A few days later on Gmail chat Haley Joel Osment said he stole DVDs of
American
Psycho
and
Husbands
and
Wives
from Virgin Megastore. “You’re good,” said Dakota Fanning. “I’ve been planning something. I’m going to steal the raft from Price Chopper. If I go at night I could steal it. I found a section with no cameras that has big displays to hide behind.”

They made a plan for Haley Joel Osment to visit the next day.

“Once I start working for the wedding photographers I will be rich,” said Dakota Fanning. “My cat just made a scary noise. I didn’t know she was sleeping on the chair next to me. She made a cow noise. A very small cow moo.”

Haley Joel Osment said he wished he were there. He went to his apartment.

The next afternoon Dakota Fanning met him on the train platform and they walked to her house and lay holding each other on the sofa in the living room. The phone rang in the kitchen. Dakota Fanning went in the kitchen. “My neighbor saw you come in the house and called my mom,” she said in the living room. “We’re fucked.”

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Richard Yates

“Your neighbor,” said Haley Joel Osment. “We’re

fucked.”

“I knew we should have used the back door,” said Dakota Fanning.

“You should have just told your mom I was Pedro or someone.”

“Pedro is in Boston,” said Dakota Fanning.

“He could have came back or something.”

“I wasn’t thinking about that,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Can you call her back and tell her I’m Pedro?”

“I don’t know. She won’t believe that.”

“What is wrong with your neighbor?” said Haley Joel Osment. “Why would she do this?” Dakota Fanning said her neighbor stayed home every day and didn’t have anything else to do. Haley Joel Osment said her neighbor was an asshole. “My mom is driving home from work, she’ll be here in around forty minutes,” said Dakota Fanning.

“She said she wouldn’t call the police if we both stayed here.” Haley Joel Osment said her mother probably said that so the police could capture him easily. Dakota Fanning said she didn’t think her mother would do that. They went through a hallway to a room with two desks and many boxes of papers. Haley Joel Osment sat on a chair. Dakota Fanning sat on Haley Joel Osment. They looked at photos of Dakota Fanning’s family they had looked at on different days including one of Dakota Fanning in a pink ballerina suit. Haley Joel Osment thought about a room in the house he grew up in that also had boxes of papers, two desks, two windows with shut blinds. He thought that how he felt about that room was maybe similar to how Dakota Fanning felt about this room.

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Dakota Fanning’s mother was home. She said something in the living room. She came in the storage room. Haley Joel Osment stood and shook her hand. “Hi,” he said. “Hi,” she said. They went in the living room. Haley Joel Osment and Dakota Fanning sat on the sofa. Dakota Fanning’s mother leaned against a wall and looked at them. “You couldn’t wait, could you?” she said after about ten seconds. “What day is today? It was almost two weeks, just a few more days, right? Two days, or something. Two more days. And I was going to let you see each other. But you just couldn’t wait.” She stared at Dakota Fanning a few seconds. “And now you’re going to have to deal with the consequences.”

“You wouldn’t give us a date,” said Dakota Fanning.

“If you had just given us a defi nite date when we could see each other we would have been okay with that.” Dakota Fanning’s mother said Dakota Fanning would have to earn back her trust over time. She asked Haley Joel Osment what he did in New York City. Haley Joel Osment said he mostly stayed in the library. He said he was a personal assistant to someone starting a jet company. She asked how Haley Joel Osment made money. He said he had money from his books, writing articles sometimes, and the personal assistant job. They talked about Haley Joel Osment’s apartment on Wall Street and then Dakota Fanning asked if she could go to New York City with Haley Joel Osment to eat dinner with a person named Ana. Dakota Fanning’s mother asked what they would do in New York City.

“Walk around, and go in bookstores, and eat dinner,”

said Haley Joel Osment.

“And this Ana,” said Dakota Fanning’s mother care-

fully. “She’s a writer?”

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“Yes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “She’s in her 30s.”

“I know, Dakota has told me about her,” said Dako-

ta Fanning’s mother and stared at Dakota Fanning a little blankly a few seconds then said “So all these times you’ve said you were with Pedro, or whoever, you’ve been lying to me.” Dakota Fanning said she only lied once. She said she really did go to New York City with Pedro and Pedro’s mother. Dakota Fanning’s mother talked about trust then went in the kitchen and talked on the phone and began to broil something and came in the living room and asked if Haley Joel Osment or Dakota Fanning wanted any of her potatoes. They did not. She went in the kitchen. About a minute later she put her upper body into the living room and said

“I’m not as bad as Dakota made me out to be, right?”

Haley Joel Osment nodded and she returned to the

kitchen.

“You’re just acting this way because we have a guest,“

said Dakota Fanning very loudly with an agitated facial expression. “If Haley wasn’t here you would be screaming. This isn’t how you normally are.” Haley Joel Osment patted Dakota Fanning’s thigh and said “It’s okay” while grinning. Dakota Fanning grinned and said “Sorry” in an embarrassed voice.

She put
American
Psycho
in the DVD player.

About ten minutes later Dakota Fanning’s brother came in the house. He looked at Dakota Fanning with a neutral facial expression. He looked at the TV. He had met Haley Joel Osment one other time a few weeks ago and they had said hi to each other and shook hands. “
American
Psycho
,” he said. “Why are you watching this?” He went in the kitchen. Haley Joel Osment heard Dakota Fanning’s mother mhp-yates-01.indd 91

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say “Have you introduced yourself to Haley?” Dakota Fanning’s brother came in the living room grinning and shook Haley Joel Osment’s hand and walked through the hallway into his room closing his door. In
American
Psycho
a person tried to feed a cat to an ATM. The person stared at the cat with a confused facial expression. The person chased a woman through an apartment building with a chainsaw while naked. At the end of the movie it is revealed that the person had imagined his killing rampages because he was insane.

“It would have been better if he really did it,” said Dakota Fanning.

“But it’s already not real,” said Haley Joel Osment feeling a little confused.

Dakota Fanning’s mother went to the grocery store.

“She saw us watching
American
Psycho
,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“She doesn’t care,” said Dakota Fanning. “She doesn’t pay attention to anything I do.”

“I don’t know if that’s true,” thought Haley Joel Osment.

“Now what,” he said. “Will she let us take a walk?”

“I don’t think she’ll let me leave the house,” said Dakota Fanning.

After a few minutes she put
The
Piano
Teacher
in the DVD player. They had watched it together a few weeks ago. Dakota Fanning had seen it maybe fi ve times. It was overdue one or two months from Hollywood Video. At the end of it the main character goes to her piano recital, stands in the lobby until everyone is seated in the concert hall, takes a large knife from her music sheet case, stabs herself a few inches below her shoulder, leaves the building.

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Dakota Fanning’s mother came in the house with Chinese food including crab rangoon. She said Haley Joel Osment was welcome to visit whenever he wanted as long as she knew in advance. She went in the kitchen.

“What is crab rangoon?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Crab wrapped in cheese then fried,” said Dakota Fanning.

Haley Joel Osment went to New York City on the 5:32

p.m. train.

“Kailey just called and asked me to hang out with her,”

said Dakota Fanning the next night on Gmail chat. “I said I can’t leave my house because I don’t want to put on pants anymore and she got angry and went away.”

“Good,” said Haley Joel Osment. “When are you

coming.”

“I don’t know. It might not be until July when I can come.”

“Okay,” said Haley Joel Osment. “July is in like 4

days.”

“No, I mean like around my birthday because then I can convince her to let me go for my birthday. I really want to see you in New York. I should try to come this week. I can’t lie anymore. I have to try to convince my mom.”

“Ask her. Tell her she puts stress on herself by trying to control you instead of giving you freedom which is what America is about, freedom.”

“I laughed and drooled a little,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Tell her American and Canadian soldiers are fi ghting for your freedom and she is taking that God-given right away from you. Does she believe in God?” A few weeks ago Haley Joel Osment searched Dakota Fanning’s mother’s mhp-yates-01.indd 93

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name on the internet and found a comment she had made on a message board thanking American and Canadian troops for fi ghting terrorism. He had showed Dakota Fanning who had said “What is this shit, I didn’t know about this.”

“Yes, she does,” said Dakota Fanning. “I want to go to New York Friday. Do you think Ana would do anything Friday? It will be easier to convince her if I say we’re meeting Ana.”

“Yes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “She will.”

“She seemed okay with Ana,” said Dakota Fanning. “I keep staring at Richard Yates’ face on the back of
The
Easter
Parade
but not having any reaction to it. Just looking.”

Haley Joel Osment said “Party girl” which was a term they had for people who did not speak in a quiet monotone and were not severely detached. Inanimate objects and situations and animals and boys could also be party girls. Dakota Fanning said if they wrote a book about a party girl called
Party
Girl
they would be rich. “I just searched it on Amazon and there’s like 4 books and 3 movies called
Party
Girl
,” she said. “
Party
Babe
would make us the most rich probably.”

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