Richard Yates (8 page)

“Sorry,” she said on the steel bridge.

He hugged her and didn’t say anything. She looked at mhp-yates-01.indd 60

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his face with a worried facial expression. He held her head to his chest so she couldn’t see his face and they walked to her house without talking.

Friday morning they ran to the train platform and sat in the train. The ticket-taker looked at Haley Joel Osment’s facial expression and said “You got here, didn’t you?” Haley Joel Osment read a book he didn’t like then lay and slept.

At Secaucus they transferred to the wrong train. They arrived in Hoboken. Dakota Fanning kept her headphones on and they walked with about fi fteen feet between them.

At the ticket machines she looked at Haley Joel Osment with a shy facial expression. He walked to her and helped her buy a ticket for the PATH train.

In the morning she woke before him. “Where are your keys?”

she said. He began to get up. She said she needed to go somewhere by herself. “Why?” said Haley Joel Osment. Dakota Fanning asked where the keys were. Haley Joel Osment told her and asked where she was going. She said for a walk. Haley Joel Osment stared at her from the bed in the dark. “Okay,”

he said and slept. He woke and saw her smiling. She said she stole underwear and deodorant from Duane Reade and saw the mayor of New York speak. The mayor kept talking about September 11 and also saying “on this day” and it confused her because it made her think it was September 11. It was June 10.

She said she wanted to scream “Terrorism is good.”

Haley Joel Osment showered and they left the apartment.

At a grocery store Dakota Fanning stole green tea pome-granate juice and Haley Joel Osment stole organic cherry mhp-yates-01.indd 61

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tomatoes. They walked outside and saw a strange-looking store. It was another grocery store. They went in and stole a salad. On the sidewalk Haley Joel Osment said “Look at this salad, doesn’t it look pretty?” He stopped walking and photographed it with his cell phone.

At Whole Foods they walked away from each other. After about ten minutes he found her in the chocolate aisle and said “Let’s go” and saw her holding two chocolate bars. He went outside and sat on the sidewalk eating stolen avocado sushi. His cell phone vibrated. He stared at it. He pushed a button. “Where are you?” said Dakota Fanning.

“Outside,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Where?” said Dakota Fanning.

“Outside the entrance.”

“Come to the corner where we passed the mango lady.”

“What?” said Haley Joel Osment. “Just come to the

entrance”

“Where are you?” said Dakota Fanning. “I got

caught.”

“What happened? Come here.”

“Come here,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Where are you?”

“On the corner,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Okay,” said Haley Joel Osment and walked to the

corner. “They made me sign something,” said Dakota Fanning grinning. “They took my picture. It was fun.” Haley Joel Osment began walking toward Penn Station. “You’re stupid,” he said after a few seconds. “What did you sign?”

“They made me put my address. I put your address. I said I was from New Jersey. They said ‘who are you staying with?’ I said ‘a friend.’ They said to put that address.”

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“Why did you put my address?” said Haley Joel

Osment.

“It doesn’t matter. They don’t know your apartment number.”

“I don’t care,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You’re supposed to lie no matter what. I’m going to get caught and put your mom’s name. Email me your social security number.”

Dakota Fanning said her social security number out loud.

Haley Joel Osment repeated it and she said it was wrong.

He said some more numbers out loud, all wrong. She asked for his social security number. He said he didn’t say his social security number out loud to anyone who asked. “There were like 200 photos,” said Dakota Fanning about the security room in Whole Foods. “They all looked good. They were all hippies or Asians.”

“Asians,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Why Asians?”

“I don’t know,” said Dakota Fanning. “I told the lady she should put all the photos in a book and sell the book. I said she would be rich. She laughed.”

At Penn Station Haley Joel Osment stared at the display waiting for it to say which terminal the train was leaving from. They walked to the terminal. They stood in line. Haley Joel Osment felt Dakota Fanning looking at him with a worried facial expression. He looked at her with a bored facial expression and thought “Gazing at her indifferently” and looked away. She touched him and he did not reciprocate.

They went downstairs to the train.

“Bye,” said Haley Joel Osment and went upstairs without waiting for a response.

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The next day in Bobst Library Haley Joel Osment emailed Dakota Fanning that he was going to potty train his brother’s dog in Connecticut for money. He said he didn’t have much money left and didn’t know where to live when his lease ended.

“When are you leaving?” said Dakota Fanning on Gmail chat that night.

“Tomorrow morning,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I feel terrible,” said Dakota Fanning.

“So do I,” said Haley Joel Osment

“I’m coming to see you tonight,” said Dakota Fanning.

“I don’t care how long I have to walk or if I only get to see you for like 5 minutes. I feel like shit. I just cleaned out my entire house in an hour so I can get out.”

“Get out,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I am. I stole more money. She already said I could leave.”

“Get out of what,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Here. I am going somewhere tonight. If you don’t want to see me I’m okay with that. But I am going somewhere.”

Haley Joel Osment asked where. “I don’t know,” said Dakota Fanning. “I’ll probably go to New Haven and just walk around.”

“Oh,” said Haley Joel Osment and looked at his

hands.

“I’m thinking,” he said after about thirty seconds.

“I think we’re fucked,” he said after a few minutes.

“What do you think.”

“I don’t know. The last two days I felt like I was bothering you. I feel terrible.”

“Yes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You annoyed me by

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not meeting me. Things like that get worse over time. And by being sleepy all the time. And by being obese. I don’t think you will change. People don’t change.” Haley Joel Osment looked nervously at the computer screen feeling his fi ngers on the keyboard. “Are you hurt,” he said. “Things like this only get worse over time.”

“I was expecting this,” said Dakota Fanning. “I am hurt.”

“I feel terrible,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Things like this just get worse over time. I don’t know.”

“I cried so much last night,” said Dakota Fanning. “I knew this was going to happen. I’ve been trying to not be obese. I lost 10 pounds already. I fi nally started taking the vitamins.” She said she could fi x things. She said she used to be thin. She said a number and said she used to weigh that number. She said it wasn’t like she was trying to change into something she had never been. She said she worked hard today to get money for the train and spent forty-fi ve minutes printing out maps so she could fi nd Haley Joel Osment in Connecticut.

“When I say something like this usually the relationship is over,” said Haley Joel Osment. “It probably has to be so from the beginning no one has to change. I don’t know.”

“I fucked up,” said Dakota Fanning. “I always fuck up.

I have fucked up everything in my life. I have nothing left now. The fi rst time you met me was the only time in my life where I felt happy. I know that sounds melodramatic but it is true.” Haley Joel Osment said he didn’t know what she was thinking most of the time. He said he was always nervous he would be late to meet her. He said he didn’t know if she ever felt nervous about things like that. He said it mhp-yates-01.indd 65

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seemed like she just thought about things like getting chocolate and eating it. “Are you angry at me,” he said.

“Of course I’m not angry. Why would I be angry. I

fucked up. I hurt you. I was thinking ‘I can’t be late. I can’t be late. He will never talk to me again. I am fucked. I am fucked. I am going to be late. I am going to fuck everything up.’ I knew this would happen. You asked me once if I liked myself and I said no. And you said I was lying. But I wasn’t.”

“You don’t like other people either,” said Haley Joel Osment. “What do you like then.”

“I don’t know. You are the only person who can make me happy. I fucked up.”

“You’re just going to get angry at me if I keep saying things,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You haven’t changed since you met me. You just cared less over time. Which is normal from what I’ve seen. At fi rst you would be early and meet me. Then have excuses. Then say things and not do them. And say you don’t want to be obese. But eat more obesely than I do. And say you want me to send you things and tell you what to do. But not use them when I send them and not do what I tell you.” He said some more things then said “I was more worried than you that you were not going to meet me at the train.”

“I started the vitamins,” said Dakota Fanning. “I told you that I always do what I say. It just takes me longer. I’m not angry at you.”

“People are assholes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You’re going to be angry at me. I think obese people are assholes, they take up more room. Taking up room is stupid. Eating more. People should eat less. And not take up room. And mhp-yates-01.indd 66

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always do what they say. I can’t comprehend how a person can be late.”

“I’m not angry at you. I will never be angry at you. I’m only angry at myself.”

“I can’t comprehend how people can be late or obese,”

said Haley Joel Osment. “If you are obese that means you have given up on life. But a person in a relationship has not given up on life. And if you are late that means you like something else, not the person you were late to meet.

It doesn’t mean that necessarily, but it means that to the other person, if the other person doesn’t block out that it happened. It’s hard to block out things like that when all I ever talk about is that all humans are assholes.”

“I’m sorry. I felt like shit when you called me and I realized I had fallen asleep. I cried when I ran to get you.”

“I felt stupid,” said Haley Joel Osment. “I was going to go home when I was in the fi eld by the buses. You probably think I don’t know how hard you’re trying. You need to just look at your actions, not how hard you think you’re trying.”

“Okay, I wasn’t trying hard. Okay. I wasn’t trying hard.

I kept telling myself I needed to try harder but I didn’t do it.

Now I’ve lost you and I’m fucked. So I’m panicking.”

Dakota Fanning said she could fi x things.

“You are my best friend,” she said. “Please.”

“Okay,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Do whatever you

want. I’ll keep seeing you until I can’t anymore. Not as a favor. I like you. It’ll be shitty probably.”

“Please,” said Dakota Fanning. “When you completely hate me, and never want to see me again, tell me.” She said she wanted to see him tonight. “You should see me later this mhp-yates-01.indd 67

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week,” said Haley Joel Osment. “I’m leaving at 9:30 a.m.

My brother wants me to read a potty training book before tomorrow.”

“Okay,” said Dakota Fanning. “I will come later this week.”

“Did you read
Housetraining
for
Dummies
yet?” said Haley Joel Osment’s brother in his girlfriend’s apartment in Connecticut the next afternoon. “No,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I didn’t get it yet.” His brother moved a pillow and picked up
Housetraining
for
Dummies
and said “You have to read it tonight.”

“You should just get a robot dog,” said Haley Joel Osment. “That’s what you really want.”

“No,” said his brother with a calm facial expression.

Haley Joel Osment said something about housetraining.

“Stop crying,” said his brother walking away.

In the morning Haley Joel Osment showered and walked into the living room in boxer shorts. “Put on pants,” said his brother with an angry facial expression. “Now.” Haley Joel Osment made an angry facial expression and put on pants. His brother and brother’s girlfriend left for work.

Haley Joel Osment was alone in the apartment. He went to his brother’s girlfriend’s computer and talked to Dakota Fanning on Gmail chat. “I have to go take the dog to shit,”

he said around 10:00 a.m. “I’ll be back. Depending on if it shits.” He took Babo to a caged-in area in the parking garage and stared at it for about ten minutes, sometimes saying “potty, potty.”

“It didn’t shit,” he said on Gmail chat.

Dakota Fanning said she watched an hour-long

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documentary about driver ants. She said they were blind and went on killing rampages. She said they built bridges out of themselves and sometimes ate each other. She said some more things about driver ants. “She seems really focused on ants, not on me, or something,” thought Haley Joel Osment feeling a little confused.