Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad (34 page)

Seeing Josh hurt, though.
  He still hadn't healed enough to get back to playing his trumpet so I didn't have to deal with him in band, but every so often I'd pass by him in the hallway.  Most of the time I looked down to avoid him, but one time, we accidentally made eye contact.  The sadness in his face almost made me break down right there by my locker.

Much as I wished we could be together, I knew I did the right thing by leaving him.  Until we were on the same page about what he'd done to Kathy, there was just no way
that things would
work out.  Still, I knew in my heart that some of what he'd said to me was right on.  When it came to the whole Kathy thing, I
was
a hypocrite. 
And I needed to make things right.

###

My heart thumped in my chest as I went to see Dr.
Chambourg
.  I wasn't sure he'd understand what I was about to tell him, that he'd respect my request.  But I needed him to hear me out.

"So, let me get this straight," he said after we'd had our talk.  "You're willing to put your position with my orchestra on the line for another student who could barely get the notes out in her solo?"

"Kathy's good," I assured him.  "And she would've been great that day at the recital.  It's just that with everything crazy that went on that evening, she didn't get a chance."

Dr.
Chambourg
shrugged.  "Nothing stopped her from trying again once everything settled down.  That's what a good musician does; you go on no matter what."

"I mean no disrespect, sir," I replied, "But say that was you.  Say that you were about to play an extremely difficult solo and you were interrupted by screaming people and a dog running through the auditorium.  Would you
really
be able to concentrate?  We're not talking about someone coughing in the audience here.  This was a whole different type of distraction."

The conductor chuckled.  "I guess I can see your point."  He became serious.  "If I do this, though, you realize that I can only take one flute.  You could be giving up the opportunity of a lifetime here.  You're getting paid, you're getting to travel ... you say you want to attend Juilliard, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, this could help you with that.  Think of all the networking opportunities you can have.  Think of the experience you'll get."

"I know," I said quietly.  My throat tightened.  "I know that I might be making the biggest mistake of my life, but I can't do this unless I feel I truly deserve it," I explained.  "I want to know for sure that I'm the best flute player for this job."

Dr.
Chambourg
nodded.  "I respect what you're saying," he said.  "Tell your friend she has another shot."

"Oh," I said. "She's
not
my friend."

"Then you're either really honorable ... or really foolish," he answered.  "I
haven't yet decided."

###

Kathy also questioned my sanity when I shared the news.  "You know, you're kind of an idiot," she told me.  "Most people would kill for that job."

"I'm not most people," I answered.

She crinkled her brow in confusion, but even with that expression, she was beautiful.  "Seriously, Mel, I don't understand why you went to Dr.
Chambourg
on my behalf.  Did you lose a bet or something?"

"No," I said.  I turned and faced her.  "I just want to know that I got this position because I'm the best, not because I won by default.  And the only way I'll know for sure is if I get to hear you play 'Image' all the way through, with no distractions."

Kathy laughed.  "So this is really about you, then?"

"It's about me winning for the right reasons.  Besides," I said, smiling, "I told you that 'Image' is one of my favorite pieces.  Even though I've never been able to play it well."

"Well, I can," she said.  She smiled back, but this time it wasn't mocking.  "I'll tell you what," she went on.  "Since neither of us got first chair the right way this year, why don't we make this double or nothing?  Whoever Dr.
Chambourg
picks gets the orchestra job
and
the seat."

I stuck out my hand.  "You got it. 
Deal."

She gave me hers and we shook on it.  "I hope you realize what you're getting yourself into," she warned.  "There's a really good chance that I'm going to beat you."

"That's fine," I said. 
"As long as you play your best."

###

Kathy won.  I can't say I was surprised, but it was a relief to have it confirmed for me.  This time, I gave up my seat and the orchestra job without a fight.  This time, I felt as if she truly deserved both honors.

Though my music career wasn't turning out as I'd hoped, I received some good news: Mr. Wilson liked my latest set of paintings so much he decided to enter them for me in a local art contest.

"I love the contrast of the colors," he said, admiring the series, which consisted
of four paintings titled, "Anger," "Madness," "Depression" and "Broken."  "And I like the way the figures are visible from a distance but when you come in close, the lines just look like splashes of paint."  It's probably not too much of a surprise to hear that the character was based on Josh.  But instead of painting a portrait from when I'd seen him at his best, I ended up recreating him at his worst.  I didn't tell Mr. Wilson that my work was based around my ex-boyfriend.  He thought I was an "artiste."  Admitting that I painted these pieces during a breakup just sounded pathetic.

That said
,
I never expected to hear from Josh again.  But, as always, he was ready to surprise me.

###

I was thinking about everything as I walked toward my house on a balmy Friday.  It had been a rough week -- math and chemistry exams, and a history paper -- and it was a relief to be out in the fresh May air.  I'd chosen to walk home that day, hoping that I could clear my head of logarithms and the French Revolution.

As I approached my porch, I was surprised to see someone sitting there and a familiar station wagon in the driveway.  It was Josh.  He looked pale and tired, as if he hadn't been sleeping much, and he really needed a haircut.  But his casts and crutches were gone.  As I came closer, he stood up with the help of a cane.

"Look, I'm free," he joked.

I eyed him in disbelief, still in shock that he was there.

"Well, aren't you going to say something?" he
asked  "
Congratulations, perhaps?"

"It -- it's great," I stammered.  "I'm glad you're able to walk without crutches again. 
Really.
  How long has it been?"

"A couple of weeks.
  You should've seen my mom," he said, beaming.  "She was thrilled.  She actually
taped
me walking the other day, as if I were a toddler or something.  Driving's kind of difficult because my leg still feels weird, but it's only a few minutes to your house."  He twirled the cane around like a baton.  "I should be rid of this thing soon.  Although, I'll admit, I'm growing sort of attached to it.  It's like this cool third leg."

I didn't laugh.  "We need to talk, Josh."

He grew serious.  "We sure do."

The two of us just sat there for a minute, the same way we had when we were in Central Park.  Finally, he turned to me and began talking.  "Mel, I’m so sorry for
the things I said to you at my house.  I was just upset and I was a total jackass."

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you, too."

"Well, I knew the video would come up – and you’re right.  My plan was real shitty and I never should’ve roped Ken into it.  But you'll be happy to know that I 'fessed up to Kathy last week on the phone.  I didn't mention you or Ken, but I told her about everything else: the roach, the fake letter, the messed up recital.  I thought she deserved to know.  She took it pretty well, by the way," he added. 
"Though she did call me a few choice words before calming down.
  And oh, you'll love this -- she made me refer to her as Queen Kathy, the most magnificent, amazing, beautiful woman who ever lived and to whom I shall henceforth bow to and worship.  She was seriously testing how far I'd go with an apology."

"What did she make you do?"  I asked.  I giggled softly.  The idea of Josh worshipping Kathy was so absurd. 

"Let's see.  When I'm fully recovered, I have to give her a pedicure, carry her books to class, detail her car and call her 'Your Highness' in front of everyone," Josh said.  He sighed.  "Plus —- and I swear, I am not kidding here —- I have to bow down and kiss her feet in the middle of the hallway.  She's really taking advantage of me here, but I’m okay with it."

"She's Kathy," I said, shrugging.  "I'm glad you talked to her.  It means a lot to me -- and it took guts to do that."

"Hey, you're the one with the guts," he told me.  "I heard all about what you did with Kathy and the orchestra.  I take back everything I said about you being a hypocrite."

"No, you were right about that.  It was just everything else you said that pissed me off."  I playfully shoved him.  It was nice to be able to talk to him without arguing.  It wasn't quite like old times, but it felt comfortable.

"See, that's the thing," Josh mused.  "When I first decided to come clean a few weeks back, I was doing it for you.  I hoped maybe you'd take me back."  He took my hand.  "I've missed you, Mel."

"I've missed you, too," I said.  My eyes prickled.

"Well, when you're healing from a bunch of broken bones, you have a lot of time to think.  I’ve realized how messed up I’ve been lately, with the scheming and partying, and acting like a douche in general.  And so I've made some important decisions about my life."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.
  Check it out -- I've decided to go to college."  He handed me a stack of brochures.  I flipped through them.

"Columbia, Juilliard, NYU –- these are impressive."  A particular one caught my eye.  "
Harvard
? 
Seriously?"

"Yep," he said, proudly.  "I know that getting into there is a longshot, but you never know.  I'm hoping that an essay about my childhood spent on the road with my mom, the quotes ‘rock star,’ will intrigue them enough to make them forget about the rest of my, um, colorful record."

"This is great," I said, "but where did this all come from?"

"From you," he said.  He squeezed my shoulder.  "I want to be more serious and have goals like you.  You make me want to be a better person."

"But you have goals," I reminded him.  "Remember how you're planning to be a starving musician in the city?"

Josh laughed.  "Oh, I’m still going to record an album
some day
.  But at least I won't have to crash in your dorm in the meantime."  He leaned in close.  "I still haven't told you
all
of my news."

"There's more?"

"
Mmm
-hmm.
  After I spoke to Kathy, I told my mom about everything that went on this year. 
Everything
.
  She was furious.  For the first time ever, she actually acted like, you know, a
mother
.  She made me call Mr. Francis."  He groaned.

"Oh no, what did he do to you?  I'm surprised he didn't re-break your leg."

"Well, he wasn't happy, I can tell you that."

"Are you getting expelled?"  I asked.

Josh whistled in awe. 
"Believe it or not, no.
  They figure that
me
getting hit by a car was punishment enough.  But after screaming at me for about an hour, he and my mom talked and made some decisions for me.  I'm no longer a part of the school music program."

"Seriously?
  What about your music career?"

"I'll still have that," Josh said. 
"Sort of."

"What do you mean?”

Josh turned red from embarrassment.  "It seems Mr. Francis is opening a music sleep-away camp in upstate New York this summer," he explained.  "He needs counselors.  So, he's,
er
, recruited me to be the brass teacher-slash-counselor-in-training for the 10-year-old boys.  Of course, this is strictly '
volunteer
' on my part," he added.  Josh's expression turned to panic.  "God, Mel, can you picture me being an authority figure to a bunch of little kids?"  He shuddered.  "I don't know the first thing about that."

"Given your usual maturity level, I'd say you're perfect for the job," I chuckled.  "I'm just surprised that Mr. Francis thinks so."

"Apparently, he doesn't hate me like I thought," Josh marveled.  "During his talk to my mom, the words 'potential,' 'responsibility' and 'slacker' came up a few times.  He thinks that this will be much better for me than an expulsion from school.  He has this idea that if I'm in charge, I'll learn to take stuff seriously.  I think he's planning to treat this like boot camp or something.  Teach me to be all that I can be."