Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad (26 page)

"
Yo
, ladies!"

"Lenny!"  Lana cried.  Her face lit up.  "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, well, I went to get my usual breakfast -- a hot dog and chili fries, but the deli near me burnt the fries."  To himself, he muttered, "Stupid clerk. 
Shoulda
gotten his job."
  He turned back to us.  "So, I decided I'd stop someplace else, and I saw you ladies, and well, you look like you could use a ride."

I wasn't so sure I wanted to set foot in Lenny's car,
but  Lana
hopped into the front seat.  I cautiously got into the back.

"Um, you have interesting stuff back here," I told him, as I cleared off the seat.  The tan leather upholstery was covered with strange toys.  I shoved a rubber chicken, a paper crown and a noise-maker out of the way, and squeezed in next to a large Raggedy Ann doll.  Behind me on the back windshield was a plastic bag filled with Barbie heads.  I shuddered as their painted-on eyes stared at me.

"Whoa, Melissa, don't worry 'bout the bag o' heads," Lenny assured me.  "I'm not like some weirdo stalker or anything."

"What are they for?" I asked in a tight voice.  I didn't waste my time telling him that my name is Melinda.   Melissa was closer than
Marlena
, so it was a start.

"They're art!" he announced.  "See, my buddy
Chaz
is going to barbecue the heads and see what happens.  Then he'll display his work at the Museum of Modern
Art."

"Oh."  I suppose I should've been more supportive of a fellow artist; after all, some people thought my paintings were unusual, but I was amazed that Lenny even knew what a museum is.

"Man, don't you get it?" 
he
was saying. 
"Barbecue?
 
Barbie-q?
  It's, like, deep and meaningful.  HA-HA, HA-HA, HA-HA, HA-HA."

As Lenny guffawed, Lana also burst into
peels
of laughter.  She seemed a bit overly
enthusiastic, I noticed.

"So, Lenny," I said.  "Aren't you late for school?  Smithfield is a ways away."

"Don't worry 'bout me," he said, grinning.  "My first period teacher told me he never wants to see me again.  He hates me."

"That sucks.  What class is it?"

"Nothing important.
  It's just English."

"As in English as a second language?"  I wondered.

"No, like books and writing and all that stuff."

"Why does your teacher hate you?"

"He says I make the least sense out of any student he's had -- and that when I talk it's an insult to the English language."

"That's pretty harsh," Lana said.

"See, that's what I said.  Then he went on about how if I'd come to class more often, I wouldn't be such a screw-up.  I was like, 'Dude, they schedule this class at eight a.m.  You're lucky I'm here at all.'
" Lenny
sighed.  "Man, he just doesn't get me."

All I could do was roll my eyes, but Lana listened intently as Lenny continued to complain about his "unfair" teacher.  At last we arrived at school.  Lenny helped us out of the car and gave each of us a hug.  "Later, ladies," he called, as he drove off.  I could still see the bag of heads in the back.

"He's really cute, isn't he?" Lana said, her eyes shining.

"He smelled like hot dogs," I replied.

###

As Lana and I entered the school, I imagined what it would be like if she dated Lenny.  Yeah, he was kind of a freak, but he was friends with Josh so that would be very convenient.  How cool would it be if the four of us went on double dates?  And then if Josh and I got married, Lana could be my maid of honor and Lenny could be Josh's best man, and it would be so nice when they walked down the aisle together because they'd actually be a couple!  I snapped out my daydream when I suddenly noticed that a bunch of people in the main hallway were staring at me ... and not in a good way.  Everyone was leering as if they were undressing me with their eyes.  I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself as Ryan
Barksy
let his gaze wander over my body.  I bent my head and quickened my pace down the hallway.  Lana also noticed the weird vibe and followed.

"What's wrong?"  I muttered to her.  "Did I split my pants again?  Do I have something stuck in my teeth?"  I opened my mouth for her so she could check.

"No, you're all clear," she said, taking a look.  Another guy walked by us and burst out laughing.  "I have no idea what's happening but everyone's definitely watching us."

"Okay, this is getting uncomfortable," I said, shivering a little.  "I'm starting to get the creeps."

"Me too," agreed Lana, as we continued to our lockers.  On our way even more students stopped to stare at me.  I was beginning to feel as if I were in the
Twilight Zone
.

"There she is,"
Dani
Silver said, giggling and pointing at me.  "There's the woman of the hour."

"Yeah, there's Miss America," called another student, whom I recognized from the soccer team.  His friends laughed along with him.  "I didn't think she had much to offer ... and
whaddya
know?  I was right!"  He gave his friends a high-five, as if that were the funniest thing ever said.

Lana and I pushed through the throng of students who were also giving me the once-over.  I pulled my coat around me, but that didn't stop me from feeling like I were naked.  I really wished someone would tell me what this was all about.  "What the hell is going on?"  Lana asked one of them, shielding me from their gaze.  "Why are you all acting like a bunch of jackasses?"

"Yeah, this is really strange," I said.  "Did I do something?"  My legs went numb as a thought came to me; maybe Tamara had blabbed.  Maybe this is why everyone was eyeing me as if I were a freak show.  But as I pushed through the group, what I discovered was worse than getting ratted out.

"Mel, oh my God, there you are," Maya said, jogging over to us.  Her face was red and her eyes were wild.  "I — I need to tell you s-something, but it's really bad," she stammered.  She took a breath.  "M-maybe you're better off not seeing this."

"No," I said.  "I want to know.  I can't take another person giving me those
looks
."  A few more boys passed by whistling at me.  Lana stuck out her foot and tripped one of them.

"
Oookay
," Maya said slowly.  She took out her phone. "B-but don't say I d-didn't warn you."  She then opened up an online picture ... of me. 
In nothing but my underwear.
  I nearly fainted right there in the hallway.

I'd thought that ripping my pants was bad, but that was nothing compared to how I looked in this photo, which I
guessed
was taken in the gym locker room.  My skin was pasty white and folded over in huge, gelatinous rolls.  Meantime, my enormous stomach hung down to my thighs, while my butt was so large, it barely fit in the frame. 
And my underwear, oh God, my underwear.
  I guess the photo had been taken right before I'd done a laundry because I was wearing a worn, gray bra that barely fit and underpants that were so stretched out, they were practically translucent. Then to top it off, I had this squinty expression on my face as if I were constipated.  I resisted the urge to scream in front of the crowd.

"
Unnnhhhh
...."  I heard Lana gasp.  I didn't say anything.  I couldn't even move.

"Mel, Mel?"  Maya called, shaking me.  "Lana, this isn't good," she said.  "I think she's in shock!"

I continued to stare and stare and the picture, my breaths getting louder.  Maya snapped the phone closed.

Soon, a crowd gathered around us, all cackling and making noise.  Of course, Kathy, Tamara and Clara were there laughing their heads off.

"Look, it's the Pillsbury
Doughgirl
!"  Tamara cried.  She shook her head.  "I knew you were fat, Moo-
linda
, but wow ... you really need to do something about that body."

"I know," added Kathy.  "I don't know why they call them 'love handles.'  There's nothing lovely about them."

I was about to run out of there, when Ken joined us, followed by Josh.  Guess he'd finished helping Lily.  I was just grateful to see him.  "Back off," Ken told the crowd.  “Get out of here!”  Josh approached the trio, his eyes dark.

"You did this, didn't you?" 
he
growled at Kathy.

Kathy raised her hands.  "Hey, I had nothing to do with this piece of genius. 
Doesn't mean I can't admire it."

"Shut up, you're lying," Josh said, moving closer to her.

"Back off, Kowalski!"
  Tamara cried, stepping between him and Kathy.  "You come near her and I'll scream.  Trust me, you don't want that."

"Yeah!"
 
said
Clara.

"Stay away from her," a few of the other guys chimed in, raising their fists.  "Leave the lady alone."

"Fine," Josh said, his face turning red.  "I'll back off for now.  But karma has a funny way of coming back to bite you in the ass, Meadows.  Remember that."  He stormed away.  I ran off.

"What does karma mean?" 
was
the
last thing I heard Clara
ask before I darted into the girls' bathroom.

###

Josh and Lana followed me into the bathroom.  "Oh my God," I said, looking at my reflection in the mirror.  I slumped against the wall and banged my head against it.  "This can't be happening.  I can’t believe that photo is
online
!  I'm
gonna
have to hide for the rest of my life.  I'm
gonna
have to enter a convent."  A wave of nausea swept over me and I did my best not to throw up.

"Mel, it's
gonna
be okay," Lana said, taking a seat next to me on the floor.  "We'll find out who did this and then they're
gonna
be in so much trouble.  Muller will make them take down that photo."

"It was Kathy!"  Josh shouted, punching the wall.  A couple of girls entered the bathroom, but quickly backed out when they saw Josh.  He paced around.  "I'm so
gonna
get her."

"I don't think it was her," I told
him,
when I'd gained back some of my composure.  I wiped away my tears.  "I'll bet it was Tamara.  She probably used her phone to snap my picture in the gym’s locker room when I wasn't looking."

"And she's bitchy enough to do it," Lana said, frowning.

"Well, I still think Kathy was involved," Josh seethed.  "She’s the one who posted
my
picture on Facebook last year.  I'm going to get her and whoever else was responsible for this."  He punched the wall again.  "You can count on it." 

The three of us sat there for a while stewing in anger.  I closed my eyes and
took a deep breath, imagining all of the possible ways that I could die a quick death.  But then I knew that I didn't really want that.  I just wanted an end to this whole feud.  "Guys, I don't think we can do anything," I finally admitted.  Both Lana and Josh gave me strange looks.  "No, I'm serious."  I turned to Josh.  "If we go after them, Tamara's just
gonna
say that we did something to Kathy at the recital.  I don't want to open that can of worms."

"Yeah, but then they're just
gonna
keep coming back with worse things," Josh argued.  "They’ll put other people’s pictures online.  I need to fight them!"

"He's right," Lana said.  "You need to take care of this."

They both had a point.  I
did
need to stand up for myself.  But I realized that my not wanting to get back at Kathy wasn't so much about me worrying about Tamara's threats as it was about feeling like I'd lost some dignity.  I was tired of being the wallflower
who
snuck around pulling pranks from behind the scenes.  And as I'd discovered, running away from my problems didn't work, nor did going crazy and smacking Kathy.  If I wanted Kathy, Tamara and the other kids to respect me, I had to show them
in person
that they couldn't break me -- especially since I was beginning to see that they were pretty pathetic.  Kathy may have been pretty, but she had no real self-esteem; as for Tamara and Clara, they got off on living vicariously through Kathy.  They weren't worth my trouble, not when things were going so well for me.  I couldn't keep running away every time something didn't work out.  I needed to face my problems and get it over with.

"Thanks, guys, but I don't need your help," I said, kissing Josh on the cheek.  "I'm going to handle this in my own way."  I pulled my phone out of my bag and took a deep breath as I logged on.  There, my disgusting, distorted image stared back at me in all its half-naked glory.  Josh and Lana eyed me as I slowly clicked on the “Like” button and commented, “Three cheers for my modeling debut.”