Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad (32 page)

"It feels so weird to be back here," Lana said as we walked toward the front gate.  She pointed toward a large oak tree on the front lawn.  "See that tree?  That's where we first kissed," she told me; she then nodded toward the covered in-ground pool in the back, "That's where I let him get to second base."  She laughed.  "You know, I've been so upset these past few months, but never, ever did I think I'd get to have my revenge like this.  It's awesome."

"We're not out for revenge, we're on a fact-finding mission," I reminded her as I rang his bell.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Ken soon answered the door and beckoned us inside.  The interior of the home was done up as tastefully as the outside with rich fabrics and expensive-looking antiques.  His room, however, was a lot
more plain
; he simply had a desk, a chair and a bed that was covered with a blue and white quilt.  He took a seat on it and fiddled with the blanket.

"So?"  I asked, plopping down on the floor.  "What's the deal with you and Josh?"

He stared down at me.  "We're
friends,
you and me ... right Mel?"

"I don't know..."  I began.  Labeling us as "friends" seemed to be overestimating our already tenuous relationship.

"No, I know you're annoyed with me right now," he went on, "but the rest of time, we are friends or at least
friendly
?  Just tell me that."  His tone was pleading and urgent.

"Fine, we're friends," I assured him. "Ken, what the hell is this about, anyway? 
You're beginning to freak me out."  Never did I ever think I'd be in the position where one of the most popular guys in school would be begging me to be his buddy.

"Yeah, you're being all weird, even for you," Lana agreed.

Ken shifted his eyes toward the ceiling and blew out his breath.  "Look, I'm
gonna
tell you guys something, okay?  But this is a secret.  You have to swear not to say anything."

Lana and I looked at each other.  "Okay," we said in unison.

"No, you have to
swear
," he emphasized.  "Swear on a stack of Bibles, on your mothers' lives ... whatever.  But this absolutely has to stay silent. 
I'm trusting
you now because I feel like I owe both of you something.  But it's life or death."

"Alright, we swear on everything in the universe that has any sort of value to us whatsoever," Lana said angrily.  "Now quit stalling and just talk already!"

Ken looked like he was about to cry.  "Okay, well here's the thing.  You know that thing you guys said about me before at school?  Well, I, uh ... it's true," he finished softly.

Lana snorted.  "Wait, so you mean you really do have a small penis?"  I shoved her so she'd stop laughing.  "What, it really is kind of funny," she told me.

"No!" he insisted.  He waved his hands around.  "It's not that.  It's the other thing.  The thing you said right before we finished our conversation."

I thought back to our talk in the band room and carefully went over everything we'd said to each other.  It then hit me what he meant.  "Oh," I said aloud. 
“
Ohhhh
."

"What?"  Lana asked me.  "What does he mean?"

I looked up at Ken and suddenly a lot of things about him made sense.  "You're gay," I stated.

###

"I figured it out not too long ago," Ken admitted.  "Other than my mom, only a few people know."

"So your dad doesn't?"  I asked.

"Nope.
  He'd kill himself."

"What about
Dani
?"

"Nah, though she did get fed up when our relationship didn't really go anywhere.  Why do you think she dumped me again?"

Lana was now pacing around his room.  "Wait, but how is this possible?" 
she
asked.  She tugged on her hair.  "I mean, we kissed.  We
did
stuff.  Not all of the stuff that you went around lying to everyone about, but we still went pretty far and..."

"It was around the time that we were dating that I realized," he explained.  "It freaked me out.  That's why I said all of those things.  I'm sorry."

Lana whirled around.  "Wait, so you're saying
I
made you gay?  First you spread all these rumors about me and now this?"

"No!  That's not what I meant.  Look, Lana, I'm sorry that I said that stuff about you and me in the movie theater.  It's just, it was a confusing time and when the guys asked me about you, I panicked."

"Yeah, well, you should hear what the guys say about
me
," she retorted.

"I know, it sucks," he said in a small voice.  "I never meant to hurt you, though.  Can you forgive me?"

Lana narrowed her eyes.  "No.  It doesn't matter what your excuse was, you still ruined my reputation.  You don't just get a free pass."

"I guess I understand," Ken said.

"Hold up," I said, getting between them.  "I hate to break this up, but what does all of this have to do with Josh and that camera?"

"Oh my God," Lana shouted.  "It's you and Josh!  You're in love with him!"

"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH JOSH," Ken growled.  Lana backed away.  "Look, I'm just
gonna
tell it to you straight," he said.  He smirked. 
"So to speak.
  Anyway, like I said, not many people know about me."

"But Josh does?"  I said.

"Yes.  And well, so does this guy, Rick, who I met last summer.  Josh caught us kissing at the movies.  That's the real person I was with in a theater," Ken told Lana.  He turned back to me.  "But anyway, Josh said he was cool with it and promised to keep it quiet."

"Oh. 
So is that what was on the camera?"
  I asked. 
"A picture of you with that Rick guy?"

"No ... not exactly," Ken said.  He shifted on his bed.  "Mel, I don't think you're going to like this next part," he warned, "but well, you wanted to know."

"Go on," I said.  I didn't see how anything could be any more surprising than Ken's news.

"Okay, well, you know how those photos came out of you?" he said. 
"The ones of you in your underwear?"
 

"Yeah..."  How could I forget?  They were horrible.

"Josh was furious about them.  Livid
.  I
seriously thought he was going to kill someone."  Ken shuddered.  "I'd never seen him that upset before.  So I asked if I could do anything, meaning help be your body guard or something.  Keep guys like Ryan
Barksy
off your back, that sort of thing."

I smiled.  "That was nice of you, Ken."

"Yeah, I thought so, too.  But Josh didn't want that.  He had something different in mind because he blamed Kathy for the whole mess..."

"... but I'm pretty certain
is
was Tamara!"  I said.  "I told him that."

"Well, he was convinced that Kathy was behind it in some way.  And he knew she liked me..."

"... and he asked you to date her," I realized.  So that was why Ken had suddenly gone from ignoring her to becoming her boyfriend.  It was all fitting together.

"Yeah, I guess you can say he wanted me to date her, but more specifically he wanted me to
dump
her. 
On Valentine's Day.
  On camera," he finished.  He stared down, looking ashamed.  "He provided me with a video camera and suggested I do it in the band locker room.  This way, it would be harder to pin the video on one person.  And then he wanted to put the video up online so everyone could see Kathy getting her heart broken.

"He didn't exactly threaten to expose me," Ken clarified.  "But I could see the look in his eyes, how desperate he was, and I couldn't trust him.  I didn't feel I had a choice, and so I asked Kathy out.  And before you get all, 'Oh, don't be ashamed about being gay,' let me just make it clear that I'm not.  I’m just, well, still getting used to it and am not really ready to come out yet.  And let’s be real, there's no way the guys on the football team would understand," he said.  "I need it.  I need to be on that team for college, if I plan to get into my top schools.  I'm also not sure what to tell my father, but I know I want to be the one to do it.... when I'm ready.  So it’s just easier to date around and hold things off –- for now, anyway.

"The funny thing is, as bitchy as Kathy comes
off,
she wasn't that bad a girlfriend.  My parents liked her.  She listened to me.  She was into a lot of the same stuff as I am, like music and sports ... I could see us maybe being friends," he said sadly.

"But then I dumped her and I was pretty mean about it.  Told her I wasn't over
Dani
and she just couldn't fill the void.  She cried.  She asked why I couldn't wait until February 15 if I really had to do this.  I felt like such an evil shit.

"And that's why I couldn't let him post that video," he said.  "It was just too much.  I already feel like such a jerk."  He stood up.  "I'm sorry, Mel.  I'm sorry that Josh was hurt and that I was responsible and that I lied about everything."

"I'm sorry, too," I said, as I tried to process Ken's story.  I didn't want to believe it, that Josh could be so
cruel
to a friend, but Ken certainly didn't appear to be lying.  "So you're not failing any classes?"  I asked him.

"What? No!" Ken said.  "I have a B in pretty much everything.  Why?"

"Josh lied to me that he was tutoring you," I explained.  "He said that that's why you were always talking in band."

"I'm not failing," he repeated.  He looked from me to Lana.  "So, you're really going to keep all this quiet, right?"

"Right," I said.  Lana didn't say anything until I nudged her.  "Right," she choked out.

"And what about you?"
  Ken asked.  "Are you okay, Mel?  I know this was a lot to take in."

I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth.  The reality of it all still hadn't hit.  "I don't know," I admitted.

###

Lana and I decided to walk home since we had so much to think about.  After leaving messages for our parents, neither of us said anything for the first mile.  I just kept my head down and counted the cracks in the pavement.  I liked doing something that was so mindless; it helped me ignore the gnawing ache that was spreading through my body.

After about a half hour of walking, though, Lana collapsed on the ground in front of a random house and cried.  She sobbed so hard, her shoulders shook.  I plopped down on the grass next to her and held her. 

"Lana..."

"I'm so stupid," she choked out.  "I'm such an idiot."

"Lana, what are you talking about?  You couldn't have known that Ken's gay."

"No, but I know now ... which is why I don't understand why it hurts so much.  I know I always complain about him, Mel, and say what a jerk he is, but the truth is, in the back of my mind I was always hoping," she explained.  "He was the first guy who I've ever really, really liked and I was always hoping that .... I don't know," she trailed off.  "I'm pretty ridiculous, right?"

"I don't think you are," I said, keeping my arm around her shoulder.  "But there will be other guys.  What about Lenny?"

She smiled through her tears.  "He's nice, right?"

"Yeah."

"I know he's strange and I don't know where it's going.  But it's possible to like someone new and still have some feelings for someone old."  She sniffled.  "It's pretty messed up."

We stayed there for a while until Lana's mom called her, wondering why we weren't yet home.  Lana dialed her sister and arranged for her to pick us up at a nearby gas station.

"So, what's going to happen with you and Josh now?"  Lana asked, as we waited for our ride.  "Are you going to say anything to him about what Ken told us?"

I sighed and looked up at the stars.  "I have no idea.  Right now, I just want to make it through tonight."

CHAPTER 21

That night, I couldn't sleep.  Instead, I sat in my living room and stared out the window.  Everything looked beautiful in the moonlight, but I couldn't enjoy it.  I was too numb.

I finally gave up on sitting around and went for a walk.  It was late and if my parents saw I was gone, they'd freak, but I didn't care.  I kept on moving.  I wasn't even sure where I was going; I just let my legs take me where they wanted as I played over the day's events in my head.  Josh lied to me.  Josh went behind my back, doing something he knew I was against.  He had no qualms about seriously hurting people, including his friend.  Yet he managed to justify his most vicious scheme to date by claiming it was done for me because he cared.  The thought made me shudder.

At last, my eyelids grew heavy and I made my way home.  Thankfully, my parents had stayed asleep the entire time because it was now 3:30 in the morning.  I returned to my bed and hoped I'd be able to get at least a couple of hours of rest.  But as I drifted off, I thought about Josh.  I knew I had to talk to him about
everything ....
and
that it was going to get ugly.