Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad (24 page)

"Good."  Just then, I heard my mom’s phone ring downstairs. I wondered if it was Josh, but realized that he didn’t have my parents’ phone numbers.  It was probably just something business related.

I heard my father answer the phone and mutter something to the person on the other line.  As I waited for him to call for me, I tried to think about what I'd say to Josh if he called again.  Should I forgive him?  Did he deserve another chance?  Yeah, he screwed up royally, but it wasn't like he usually went around randomly kissing people...

Finally, my father appeared in my door, but didn't have the phone with him.  His face was grave.  "Sit down, Melinda,
"  he
said, nodding to my bed.  "I have some bad news."

###

My grandfather's funeral
was held a couple of days later.    After, when everyone gathered at our house, I hid in my room.  My dad had picked up the framed photo I made from the hospital; it was now sitting on my desk.  I held it up.  My grandfather looked so young in the picture.  It was hard to believe that just a few days ago, he'd been talking to me and now he was gone.

"Mel..."  My mom stood in my doorway, still clad in her black dress suit.  I went over and hugged her.  "Melinda, Josh is here to see you."

I looked up in surprise.

"I don't know what happened between you two the other day, but this isn't the time to hold grudges.  Let him comfort you.  He's been a good friend."

"Okay," I said, "but for just a little while."  I really just wanted to be by myself.

Josh entered my room, and handed me some roses.  "I'm really sorry, Mel," he said.  "When I called a little while ago, Lana gave me the bad news."

"Thanks."  I placed the flowers down on my bed.

"Is that your grandfather?"  He picked up the picture.  "You know, he looks a little like you around the eyes."

"I know," I said, my throat tightening.  "He was just this really cool guy.  He was laid-back and funny, a lot different from us and he always made me laugh..."  I choked on the words.  Josh pulled me into an embrace.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, resting his chin on my head.  "I've lost people close to me, too.  It's awful."

"I don't think I'm ever going to feel normal again," I admitted.  Though being in Josh's arms was definitely a start.

"Well, I'm here if you want to talk or not talk, or anything," he said.  He led me over to my bed and we sat down.  "And I know this probably isn't the right place, but about the other night..."

I cut him off.  "I don't want to talk about it. 
Especially not now."

"I was an idiot..."

"Josh, not now," I said, sniffling.  "There's so much going on, I can't worry about that."

Josh looked down.  "You're right.  I'm sorry."

I gave him a small smile.  "Look, I don’t hate you or anything.  It's just that ... it was you and
Kathy
, of all people.  And when you kissed me, I thought..."

"That it meant something?" 
he
finished.  "It did.  That day we spent together in the city was the best.  And Kathy, well, you know how I feel about her."

I managed a laugh.  "At least she didn't dump soda over you this time."

"Maybe you should've done that to me instead."  He ran a hand through his hair.  "Look, Mel, I didn't think there was ever a question about how I feel about you, but I care about you. 
A lot.
  I didn't want to kiss Kathy.  I only want to kiss you.  I'll be waiting for when you're ready to talk about it and for me to make things right."

###

That evening, I went downstairs to help clean up.  My mom was sitting in the dark, quietly crying.

"Mom," I called out.  "Are you all right?"

I turned on the lights and sat down next to her.  She put her arm around me. 
"He's really gone," she said.  "I just can't believe it."

"I'll miss him, too," I said.  "I loved him."

"That's not the only reason why I'm crying," she confessed. "I feel guilty."

"For what?
  You were a great daughter.  You did so much for him."

"That's just it, Mel.  I've spent nearly every waking hour for the last few months in the hospital with him.  And it's been so hard.  I hate to say it, but I feel sort of ...
relieved
that I don't have to go back there."  She blew her nose.  "What does that say about me as a person?"

"Mom, Grandpa hated that you spent so much time there.  He thought you were wasting your life.  He said this the other day."

"He did?"  She looked up at me.

"Yeah.
  He said you were cramping his style."

She began to laugh.  "That's so like him."  She changed the subject.  "What's going on with you and Josh, honey?  You seemed so happy with him a few days ago."

"He just disappointed me.  I really thought that our relationship was going someplace, but then he did something stupid.  In fact, I'm still not sure what we are to each other, even though we've basically made up."

"Maybe you should just enjoy whatever you have together for now."  I could tell she was thinking of Grandpa.  "He obviously cares for you in some way, and that's important."

"I didn't think you liked him.  Josh, I mean."

"I don't really know him, Mel," Mom said.  "But anyone who sticks around to help you clean up after you've had a temper tantrum can't be bad."  She wiped her eyes. "So, how'd I do?  Did I sound mom-
ish
?  I've been a little out of practice."

"You were okay," I said.

"Mel, I know I haven't been around much this year.  But now..."  She sniffled. "Things will get back to normal.  I promise."

We just sat there for a while, enjoying each other's company.

CHAPTER 15

School was back in session in early January, but after the vacation I'd had, I welcomed the routine.  At home, everyone was being kind.  I knew that our relatives meant well, but I needed to be able to forget my pain for a while.  I'd been thinking about my grandfather every single night since his death, counting backwards each day from when it happened.  It was the worst for me during the night when everything was quiet.  It was then that I had waking nightmares, when I'd remind myself over and over again what I could've done differently when he was alive.  My parents urged me not to have any regrets, but I had plenty.  Being in school, at least, would give me a chance to move forward.

###

Things got off to a decent start in band.  I'd dreaded seeing Kathy again after the whole party debacle, but she didn't even look at me when I sat down.  She simply stared at her music, deep in thought.  I noticed that she had dark circles beneath her eyes and her face was pale and drawn.  I guessed her vacation hadn't been so great either.  Maybe her parents had been on her case for getting so drunk at the party ... or maybe she was just still upset over Ken.  Probably the latter, I decided.

Josh was also keeping some distance from me, most likely so he could give me space after everything that had happened. I wanted to run up to him and tell him how much I missed being with him, but knew I wasn't quite ready.  When I got to band, though, I found a sympathy card from him placed on my chair.  "You're a very special person," he'd written.  "Even though I never met him, I know that your grandfather was very proud to have someone like you for a granddaughter."  I searched for him in the band room and we locked eyes
;  when
I held up the card and waved, he broke into his beautiful grin.

Mr. Francis was also smiling when he approached his podium.  "Happy New Year, band," he bellowed.  He rapped a baton against his stand.  "I hope you all had a great holiday.  Meantime, I have some terrific news.  Remember my friend, Dr.
Chambourg
?”

Of course we all remembered!  A low rumble swept across the group.  "Enough, enough," our conductor said, rapping his baton again, only he was laughing.  We quieted down.  "Well, as I was saying, I have something wonderful to tell you. 
Chambourg
loved our recital, despite all of the distractions," Mr. Francis muttered.  "But the rest of it, he enjoyed very much.  That said, he's chosen not just one, but
two
of our performers to join his orchestra this summer: Kenneth Samuels and Melinda Rhodes, would you please stand up?  Everyone congratulate them!"

My stomach dropped and my legs turned to jelly as I slowly rose out of my
chair.  I couldn't believe I'd heard him correctly.  I knew I played well at that recital, but I wasn't counting on getting a spot in
Chambourg's
group.  But there I was, taking a bow while everyone applauded.  "Mel, that's awesome!"  Maya said, squeezing my hand.  I looked over and waved to Ken, who was busy getting high-fives from the rest of the trumpet section.  He had a huge smile on his face and was shaking his head like he couldn't quite process the news, either.  Josh caught my attention again and pumped his fists above his head as a sign of my victory.  I cracked up.

Once we sat back down, I stole a glance at Kathy.  She lifted her flute to her lips, her expression blank, but a single tear rolled down her cheek.  I quickly closed my eyes and attempted to erase the vision, the same way I had when I'd seen her crying at the recital.  I reminded myself that I deserved a spot in that orchestra.  After all, I'd played my heart out that evening and had gotten a standing ovation.

###

I got a nasty surprise when Tamara appeared in my gym class the next day.  "I needed to switch some classes around," I heard her explaining to one of the gym teachers.  "I need to repeat my math class this semester so they put me in this gym session."

"That's fine," the teacher told her, looking bored.  "Just go join one of the volleyball teams."

I cringed as Tamara looked around the gym for an open spot.  This was already my most hated class, mainly because for all of the musical skills I have, I have no athletic ability.  The last thing I needed was for Tamara to call me "Moo-
linda
" as I struggled to not get hit in the head with
a volleyball
.

Of course, once she spied me, Tamara made a beeline for my section.  She really is a bitch, I thought, as she sauntered across the gym, a smirk playing on her lips.  Just like a female dog, she could smell fear.

"Well, look who it is," she said, standing right next to me.  "How'd you like the party the other night?  I'll bet you'd love to know what a great kisser Josh is."  Tamara made smooching noises.  "He and Kathy looked pretty hot together, I think."

"I don't know if you can exactly count it since they were both smashed," I answered.

Tamara shrugged.  "Well, Moo-
linda
, what's important here is that she can get any guy she wants and you can't.  And I think she proved that to everyone the other night."

"Know what?"  I answered.  "I feel bad for her thinking that she needs to prove anything at all."

Tamara glowered at me and crossed her arms over her chest.  "You'd better watch your back, Rhodes," she warned.  "I know you think you're hot stuff because you had the balls to slap Kathy, but trust me, I am not someone you want to screw with."

"Neither am I," I said, looking right into her eyes.  And for once, I wasn’t just saying it; I meant it.

###

The next morning, Kathy was again huddled around her main locker with her friends.  Her eyes were even more sunken and hollow and she had her arms wrapped around herself as if she were trying to hide from something.  They all glowered at me as I walked past them.

"This isn't fair," I overheard Kathy whisper to them.  "She doesn't deserve this. 
I’m
first chair.  And I played a much more difficult piece than she did at that recital.  It's not my fault that that freak and that dumb dog ruined it for me that night."

"
It's
okay, Kath," Tamara said.  "We all know you're the best.  Mr. Francis knows it, too.  That other guy with the orchestra is just stupid is all."

"I worked so hard on that piece, too," Kathy said.  "My private teacher said it gave her chills when I played.  And even my dad liked it.  You know him, he never gives me compliments."  She sniffled.  "My parents were so mad at me when I screwed up that night and now they're even more upset.  My dad went on all vacation about how disappointed he is in me; he and my mom were so upset when I told them about not getting the orchestra, that they couldn't even look at me last night.  I'm probably never
gonna
see daylight again, because they're
gonna
make me practice whenever I'm not in school."

"Then you'll get out of it," Tamara told her.  "You always do.  Otherwise, Clara and I will help."

"I don't think it's going to be so easy this time..."  Their voices faded as I made my way down the hall.

I ducked my head down, again fighting that bubbling sense of shame that churned inside of me.  Kathy did deserve what we'd done to her ... right?

###

I dreaded seeing Tamara in gym, but she was not going to make it easy for me to hide from her.  During that day's volleyball game, I was almost knocked unconscious when the ball beamed me in the head.