Reckless Destiny (20 page)

The minister cleared his throat. “What if we insert that you promise to obey if, after discussion, you agree with your husband? Can you promise that?”

“Yes, I will,” she said.

The chaplain nodded and handed the ring back to Kane, and he slipped it on her finger. It was too large, and he held it in place while he took her other hand in his and turned her to face him. There was something in his eyes, an intense look that Cady didn’t understand.

“With a ring given and solemn promises from Cady and Kane expressed before God and witnesses present, I now pronounce them man and wife. May I present Captain and Mrs. Kane Carrington.”

Quiet applause rose from the gathering. Then Chaplain Barnes said, “You may kiss your bride.”

Cady saw Kane’s eyes smolder with an emotion she couldn’t name. His right arm encircled her waist and he pulled her against him. With his left, he cupped her cheek, then slowly lowered his mouth to hers. At the first contact, cheers went up from the gathering. When Kane slipped his fingers in her hair and gently pressed the back of her head to force their lips closer and deepen the kiss, Cady didn’t hear anything but the pounding of her heart. Everything and everyone disappeared except Kane.

She was married now. And the heated way her new husband kissed her was a hopeful promise for their life together as well as for the wedding night to come.

Kane escorted Cady across
the acequia and hesitated beneath the ramada outside the quarters they would now be sharing. In the cool breeze blowing off the desert, the scent of mesquite and juniper mixed together and surrounded them. As soon as the sun went down, gentle teasing from the people gathered at their reception had compelled him to take her home. Betsy Wexler’s eyes had twinkled when she had said everything was ready for them.

As much as he’d wanted to, he couldn’t put this moment off any longer. It was important that everyone thought they were a typical couple in love. After all, isn’t that why they had gotten married in the first place, to preserve their respective reputations?

Cady waited beside him, nervously clasping her fingers as she waited for him to open the door. The fragrance of flowers drifted from her and the sweet smell took him back to that night in the cave and the moments of heaven he’d spent in her arms. Had it been worth what had happened afterwards?

He looked down at her, bathed in moonlight. Her long golden-brown hair was tied back from her face with a blue satin ribbon and flowed free down her back to her waist. Her lips were full and soft, her eyes big, bright, trusting, hopeful. His breath caught as he realized she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Kane opened the door and let her precede him inside.

“Oh!” she said, looking around.

He closed the door and stood behind her. Another iron cot stood beside the one Cady had been using. Candles had been lighted and placed around the room, bathing everything in a flickering golden glow. As he looked closer, he noticed that his belongings were there, his uniforms hanging beside Cady’s dresses on pegs in the corner, his shaving things on the dresser beside her brush and comb. On the table, a bottle of champagne stood in an olla, its coolness preserved by the clay container. Someone had taken the liberty of preparing the place for their wedding night.

Someone had gone to a lot of trouble for nothing.

“Who did this?” Cady asked, turning to look up at him with the trusting expression that always twisted his gut inside out.

“My guess is Betsy Wexler. I can’t even imagine how she got her hands on a bottle of champagne.”

“That was very sweet of her.”

“Cady, I—” He stopped, noticing that his mother’s ring was suspended from a piece of string resting against Cady’s breast.

“It was a little too big. Betsy helped me tie it on because I was afraid I’d lose it. Why did you give this to me?” She glanced down, then back up at him shyly. “Didn’t your first wife—”

“Annie never saw it.” He blurted it out and wasn’t sure why, anymore than he knew why he’d put a ring
on Cady’s finger that he had never considered giving to another woman.

Cady stiffened a little at his sharp tone. Then she said, “Tell me about your mother. You’ve never told me anything about your family.”

“They’re all dead. My father was killed in the war, fighting for the Union at Gettysburg.”

“How old were you?”

“Twelve.” He saw the sympathy in her eyes, but she said nothing. “My mother never got over it. She died a year later.”

“A broken heart?”

His jaw clenched for a moment. “A foolish romantic notion.”

“I’m a foolish person, as you’ve pointed out once or twice.”

“Cady, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said.

But he could tell by her tone that it did matter. He hated himself more for what he still had to say. He was stalling and he knew it.

She walked over to the table, running one finger through the moisture collected on the side of the champagne bottle. “What did you do after your mother died?”

“I joined the army.”

She looked up sharply. “But you were only thirteen. That’s just a little older than R. J. is now.”

“I lied about my age and got away with it because I looked older. The army fed me, put clothes on my back, and gave me a place to sleep. It’s the only family I’ve known for a long time.”

“Did the army always come first? What about Annie?” She absently toyed with the ring hanging around her neck.

He didn’t know how to answer that. She probably had
another romantic notion about him and Annie, but all he felt for his first wife was guilt and regret. She had shared his life and now she was dead and he was partly to blame.

“Annie never understood how I felt about the army.”

“How did you meet?”

He sighed. “Five years ago I was at Fort Huachuca. Annie’s family had a ranch nearby. She was born and raised in the Arizona Territory and still didn’t understand what it takes to keep the peace. She wanted more of my time than I could give her.”

“I see.”

Kane wondered if she really did. But it was useless to worry about it now. They were married. Although he suspected Cady had almost put a stop to it.

“Why didn’t you stop the wedding today? You lifted your hand to get the chaplain’s attention. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Jack wouldn’t let me.”

“So you’ll obey your brother, but your husband first has to convince you he’s right?”

She looked up quickly. “I’m sorry, Kane. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It’s just that I wanted you to know how I felt. I’ve told you before that I can’t do something I don’t understand and believe in with all my heart.”

At least she believed that marrying him was the right thing to do, or she would have spoken up at the ceremony in spite of her brother’s disapproval. She did what she felt was right, no matter what. It was one of the things he admired most about her.

He was the first to admit that he didn’t understand much about women, and this one baffled him completely. But one thing he’d learned about her: Always expect the unexpected. He wished things could be different between them, because she was a hell of a woman.

She was looking at him now with expectation
sparkling in her eyes. How was he going to order her not to share his bed and persuade her it was for the best? How was he going to persuade himself? Especially when she stood there bathed in candlelight and looking so damn beautiful?

He just couldn’t take the chance of loving her. His concern wasn’t today, or tomorrow, or even the day after that. But sooner or later the time would come when she would leave, and that didn’t bear thinking about. The only way to protect them both was to keep his distance until he could figure out a solution to this mess.

And if he was going to try to think, there was no way he could stay with her tonight.

“Do you want to open this?” she asked, indicating the bottle on the table.

“Would you like some?”

“Yes, I believe I would.”

He opened the bottle with a loud pop. Some of the liquid bubbled over the top and splattered on the canvas floor at Cady’s feet.

“Sorry.” He picked up one of the glasses that had been left for them.

“That’s all right.” She took the glass he offered, raised it to her lips, and then stopped as he put the bottle down. “Aren’t you having any?”

He shook his head. “I have to be on duty soon.”

“Tonight?” she asked, incredulous. “It’s our wedding night. Surely no one expects you to—”

“No one
expects
me to do anything.”

“They can’t get along without you for one night?”

“There are hostile Apaches out there just waiting for us to let our guard down. The watch has been doubled since Cuchillo escaped from the reservation. Every man on this post has been doing extra duty, including me. Tonight is no exception.”

Cady opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. He was sure she was remembering what he’d told her about Annie not understanding his commitment to the army. The difference was, this time he was hiding behind his duty to protect Cady.

“I understand, Kane. You have a job to do.”

“It’s important for me to set an example. It’s also important to keep things around here as normal as possible. So if you want to take your afternoon ride it’s all right as long as you stay within sight of the fort.” He stopped and thought for a moment. “It would be best if one of the troopers accompanied you.”

She set her full glass down beside his empty one. “All right.”

“I have to go now.”

“Should I wait up for you?”

The image of her, sweet and soft in bed waiting for him was damned appealing, but it wasn’t something he would let himself get used to.

“No. And we might as well get something straight here and now.”

“What’s that?”

“You said the cost of what we did in the mountains was too high, and we agreed we wouldn’t make the same mistake again.”

“Yes, I did, but—”

“Under the circumstances we’ll never have a conventional marriage; it’s clear that’s not what you want. I see no reason to complicate the situation. For appearances, I will move in here with you, but I won’t touch you again. You have my word as an officer.”

“Is this—” Her voice caught, and she cleared her throat before speaking again. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes. Isn’t it what you want?”

She hesitated, then said, “Yes.”

“So we’re agreed.” It was one of the few times they had agreed about anything, and it felt like hell. “I’d better go.”

She nodded, then walked over to him and put her hand on his arm. “Be careful, Kane.”

Where her fingers touched, his skin burned, and he pulled away abruptly. He saw the light go out of her eyes and despised himself.

How much longer could he go on protecting her? The sooner he got her out of this marriage
and
the Territory, the better for both of them.

Cady walked into the mess hall the following morning with her lessons, papers, and books. She was late. It had been almost dawn before she had fallen asleep. She couldn’t get Kane’s words or the look on his face out of her mind. He had hurt her before, but that slight two years ago was nothing compared to his rejection last night.

She had tossed and turned and refused to cry. He wouldn’t break her.

She looked around and was surprised at the small number of children there. She was thirty minutes late, and only Martha Halleck, Bart Grimes, Polly Chase, R. J. Wexler, and John Eagle were sitting in their seats.

Cady walked to the head of the table and set her things down. “Where is everyone else this morning?”

Bart Grimes tossed his head to get his straight brown hair out of his hazel eyes. When he could see her, she noticed a twinkle. “Guess they figured there wouldn’t be no school today, what with you gettin’ married ‘n’ all, ma’am.”

“Any school, Bart. And why wouldn’t there be?”

“Well, now.” The boy shifted uncomfortably. “I ain’t sure I should repeat it, Miss Tanner.”

“It’s Mrs. Carrington now,” Martha Halleck chimed in. Black ringlets danced around her shoulders as she shifted excitedly on the hard bench. “Isn’t that right, ma’am?”

“Yes, Martha, I am Mrs. Carrington now.” How strange that sounded: Mrs. Kane Carrington. She had his name, but as far as he was concerned that’s all she would ever have of him. “But I’m still waiting to hear why Bart thinks there wouldn’t be any school today.”

Bart’s face flushed bright red as he shifted on the bench. Good Lord, what had the boy heard?

Cady put her hands on the table and stared at the blushing thirteen-year-old. “Out with it, Bart. I want you to repeat what you heard.”

He looked down at his hands. “Ma and Pa was talkin’ about what a nice weddin’ you had. Ma was goin’ on and on ‘bout how romantic it all was, him lovin’ you so much he lit out after ya and saved your life. Then Pa said ‘Hell, won’t be romantic when she can’t even walk into school this mornin’.”

Cady felt her own cheeks flood with heat. It had never occurred to her that the whole fort would be interested in what she and Kane should have been doing on their wedding night. That was humiliating enough. That it hadn’t happened was downright mortifying. That their marriage was a fake made her heartsick.

She cleared her throat. “As you can see I have no difficulty walking and I think I can manage to conduct lessons this morning. Those who didn’t show up today will have a lot of work to make up. Is that clear?”

A chorus of murmured assents filled the room.

“Good. Take out your slates and we will start with multiplication tables. If I’m not mistaken, we were on the sixes last time?”

The children nodded, and a clatter of activity followed as they did what she asked.

R. J. had been uncharacteristically quiet. He stood up, walked over to her, and held out a book. She took it from him and saw that it was
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
, the volume she had given him the day she arrived.

“Is there something wrong, R. J.?”

“No, ma’am, I’m just returning this.”

“I meant for you to keep it. Did you finish reading it?”

“Yes’m. It was good.”

She lifted one brow skeptically. “You don’t have to say that if you don’t really think so. You’re allowed to have your own opinion.”

“No’m. I mean yes’m, I really liked it. I had some trouble in the beginning. You might not’ve noticed, readin’ is a mite hard for me.”

She had noticed. “But you persevered?”

He looked at her blankly.

Cady suppressed a grin. “You kept on going until you finished?”

“It got easier.”

She smiled warmly. “See what happens when you don’t give up? Perseverance pays off.”

“I guess so.” He held out the book. “I thought you might’ve changed your mind about givin’ this to me after what I done.”

“What I did. And no, I still want you to have it. Although you might like to donate it to the literary society or loan it to someone else.”

“Can I let John Eagle borrow it?”

“Of course. Now take your seat and start on your numbers.”

“You’re not gonna let me out of it on account of I persevered on the book?”

“Arithmetic is important too. There’s more to life than words, R. J.”

She wandered around as the children scratched on their slates with chalk. Outside, she could hear sounds from the parade ground. From time to time, a blue uniform would pass on the boardwalk, and her heart would start to pound when she thought it might be Kane. But every time she was disappointed.