Reckless Destiny (17 page)

She sighed. “You’re right. I know that. But it’s hard to disregard my upbringing.”

“Just pretend it’s an order. It’s not hard for you to disregard those.” He turned his back. “Take off everything and wrap up in a blanket.”

She sighed. “All right.”

Behind him, he heard her drag a blanket to the farthest corner of the cave. It wasn’t nearly far enough, not by a long shot.

She dropped first one and then the other boot. He didn’t know about her, but he was getting warmer by the second.

“Kane?”

“Hmm?” Good, he thought. Talk to me. Distract me. He couldn’t afford to think about what she was doing.

“I’m going to find Jack tomorrow.”

That distracted him, all right. “Like hell you are. I’m taking you back to the fort.”

“But you just said we may not be able to get across the river.”

“We’re damn well going to try.”

“So you can lock me in the guardhouse again?”

“If I have to.”

“I’ll get out.”

“I’ll keep the only key and stand guard myself.” He heard the slap of her wet skirt as it slid against her legs on the way down. His breathing grew faster. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was mad as hell or because he wanted to kiss her senseless. Or both.

“Kane, just give me a day or two. You could help me. We could look for my brother and warn him. Then I’ll go back with you. I swear I won’t give you another minute of trouble.”

“Your middle name is trouble.”

“No, it’s Elizabeth.” She grunted. “Damn these buttons.”

He couldn’t help smiling. She was a lady even when she was swearing. He started to turn toward her, and the grin instantly disappeared as he stopped himself. He had to be on guard even when she wasn’t locked up. Especially when she wasn’t locked up.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“I can’t get my blouse off.” Her voice was muffled, as if she was twisting in her struggle to unfasten it.

“Why not?”

She sighed impatiently. “It’s sopping wet, my hands are ice cold, and the buttons are impossible. Will you please help me?”

She had no idea what she was asking. Knowing she was undressing right behind him and listening to her clothes fall was bad enough. Now she wanted him to help. He had to look at her to do that. It was more than he could handle.

“Just rip the thing,” he said harshly.

“I will not rip a perfectly good piece of clothing.” She sniffed. “I have no way to repair it and nothing else to put on. You keep quoting the rules of survival to me. It’s only common sense that one should protect one’s few possessions.”

He gritted his teeth and turned around. “Let me have a look.”

She moved by the fire and presented her back to him. Smoke curled up and burned his nostrils. The ventilation wasn’t great but enough smoke escaped that
they could get by. In her pantalettes, high-necked blouse, and bare feet, she was probably the most appealing sight he’d seen since—since he’d made her lift her skirts to make sure she wasn’t burned.

“Why in hell are you always wet and half undressed when we’re together?”

She stiffened. “You’re exaggerating.”

He stared at the row of tiny buttons that marched up her back. She had managed the ones at the neck and shoulder blades and the ones at her waist, but not the six or seven in the middle.

The seductive curve of her backside, covered only by her pantalettes, made him ache to fit his hands there. Just below her neck, silky exposed skin beckoned to him. He wanted to taste the spot right in the middle of her back and feel the shiver he knew he could arouse.

He shook his head to clear it. “Why in tarnation would you wear something like this?” he asked angrily.

“I know you think I don’t have a brain in my head, but I’ll have you know I gave careful consideration to my clothing for this trip. This blouse is a dark color so as not to draw attention to me, and it’s a heavyweight material because temperatures drop in the mountains.”

“You should have worn something with big buttons down the front.”

“I didn’t know it was going to rain. Would you please stop shilly-shallying and help me undo this before I catch my death?” A shudder from the cold ran through her from shoulder to knee.

She was right again. He had to get her out of her clothes before she caught a chill. He lifted his hands to the buttons and cursed inwardly because he was shaking badly.

He got the first one, but the second was stuck in the wet material. Between that and the fact that every time
his fingers grazed her soft skin they wouldn’t work right, he was having a devil of a time. It didn’t help either that his eyes kept straying to the seductive swell of her backside.

“I told you it was hard,” she said, turning her head to peek over her shoulder.

“Hold still.” He took a deep breath and finished the job as fast as he could. When it was done, the sides of the garment drifted apart and the back of her chemise was freed to his gaze.

The blatant femininity of that small piece of material slammed him hard. Sweat broke out again on his forehead.

He took a step back. “It’s done. Finish up and put a blanket around you.”

Instead, Cady turned around. She was awed by his stark masculinity. He stood by the fire, and the light from the flames highlighted his magnificence, stealing her breath. She clutched the blouse to her front with trembling hands.

“Thank you, Kane,” she whispered. She continued to stare at him, unable to tear her gaze away.

His hair was wet, dark and wavy from the rain. Wide, powerful shoulders and broad bare chest tapered to a flat midsection, and his wet trousers molded to his muscular legs.

His eyes darkened and their intensity grew until she felt she could reach out and touch it. She swayed toward him.

“No.” He shook his head and took a step back. “Cady, don’t you dare look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like the sun rises and sets on me,” he said. “I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. I won’t let you be another.” He sighed. “Don’t tempt me. I’m not the right man for you. You can’t depend—”

She lifted her chin. “I can so depend on you. Don’t tell me I can’t. Who came after me to see that I was all right?”

“You have no idea what kind of danger you’re in, now that I’ve found you.”

“You would never hurt me.”

“I can hurt you in ways you can’t even imagine.”

She shook her head. “You’re wrong, Kane. Why are you so hard on yourself? I trust you.”

She wanted to be with him and love him, more than she’d ever thought possible. This was right. She knew it in her heart; she felt it in her soul. She had come back to the Territory because of him. Fate had stepped in and crossed their paths.

“If you truly trust me, Cady, you’re a fool.”

“I’ve done some foolish things in my life. Who hasn’t? But this isn’t one of them.”

She tugged first one cuff and then the other free of her hands and dropped her blouse to the dirt floor of the cave. Standing before him in chemise and pantalettes, she felt her cheeks grow warm. Her embarrassment melted away when she saw a spark light his eyes as he looked at her. His gaze lowered to her breasts, then fell to her waist and, finally, to the place where her thighs joined, covered only by her soaked pantalettes. His lips parted slightly and he groaned.

She moved nearer, not quite touching him but close enough to feel the warmth from his body. Looking up at him, she knew her face reflected the need inside her that refused to be denied.

His chest rose with a quick intake of breath. “Don’t, Cady. I’m no good for you. Don’t start something you can’t finish. Isn’t that what your father said?”

She didn’t understand why he was convinced that loving him would harm her. Today she had been alone
in the wilderness and had faced the fact that her life could end at any time. What if it happened tomorrow and she never experienced the joy of showing him how much she loved him? She couldn’t bear the thought.

“I don’t care what my father said.” She closed her eyes for a split second, pulling her emotions together so she could fill her words with what was in her heart. Somehow she had to make him understand that he was a good man. “You told me that sometimes a person only gets one chance. I want it, with you. I want to be with you. I want to love you.” She put a hand on his chest and felt the shudder that rippled through him. “Please, Kane.”

“God, Cady. You shouldn’t be doing this.”

Easier said than done. She had never felt anything more wonderful than his lips pressed to hers. Today she had learned at first hand how cruel this land was. What if the Apaches found them tomorrow? What if they never made it back to the fort? What if Kane was the only man she ever met who made her want to kiss him?

“You’re right, of course.” She looked up at him. “Kane? Would you do something for me?”

“Sure.”

“Will you kiss me?” He started to shake his head. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. I know you don’t feel the same way about me that I do about you. But I liked it so much when you kissed me before.”

“Cady—”

“I was so afraid today.” With an effort, she kept her voice steady. “I thought I’d never see you again. And it’s just that—”

Memories of today’s pain, terror, isolation, and regret mixed together and pressed against her heart. Her vision blurred as the moisture gathered. Angrily she brushed a knuckle to the corner of her eye to catch
the single teardrop that escaped. She didn’t want his pity. She started to turn away from him.

“It’s just that you’re the only man I’ve ever wanted to kiss me.”

He groaned, and the anguish in the sound didn’t escape her. Unexpectedly, he reached out and wrapped his strong fingers around her, turning her. “All right, Cady. You win. One kiss.”

He curved his other arm around her waist and nestled her against his long, lean form. Then he lowered his head. She slowly closed her eyes. His soft lips pressed to her own and her sigh was muffled by his mouth. She moaned at the sweetness of it and her breathing quickened; then his arms tensed and tightened, pulling her closer.

When he lifted his head and stared at her, his own breathing was ragged, his eyes full of fire. “You were right. I do want you, Cady. I can’t fight it anymore.”

“Then don’t. Love me, Kane. And let me love you.”

He nodded, and together they drifted down to sit together beside the flames.

Kane stared into Cady’s
passion-glazed eyes and knew he was lost. But he couldn’t find it in him to care. The storm outside created a dull roar. Surprisingly, a sense of peace settled over him. He felt as if he and Cady were the only two people in the world. Since the first time he had seen her, whatever had sparked between them had been so strong, he knew this moment was inevitable.

Face-to-face in the golden interior of the cave, they held hands loosely. Cady’s were ice cold. Her hair, like a curtain of light brown silk, cascaded around her face and spilled over her breasts. Her green eyes were large and apprehensive. Her mouth trembled until she took the comer of her bottom lip between her teeth.

He squeezed her fingers reassuringly. “Don’t be afraid.”

“I’m not.” She spoke too quickly, too breathlessly.

“We can stop right now, if you want. We can pretend—”

She shook her head and the movement caught the
fire’s light, turning the blond streaks in her hair to burnished gold. “I can’t pretend. Not anymore. I have a confession to make.”

“A confession?” His gut clenched.

“I came to Arizona for three reasons. The first, as I told you, was to teach and prove I could take care of myself.”

He sat back on his heels. “I remember.”

“Second, I left home to get away from all the gossip after I broke off my engagement.”

“Why didn’t you go through with it?” He held his breath, waiting for her answer.

“There’s more I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t even kiss another man after you. How could I marry him?”

He couldn’t have been more stunned if she had told him she’d bedded another man. At the same time, a primal satisfaction swelled inside him.

Cady had saved herself for him.

She hadn’t so much as kissed another man. Kane knew he didn’t deserve a woman like her. That kind of loyalty should belong to a better man than he. He almost backed away from her. But the mixture of passion and promise in her eyes stopped him. It would take a stronger man than he to walk away from her now.

“What was the third reason you came out here?” He asked the question, but he knew what she was going to say.

“Because of you.”

He shook his head slowly. “Cady, I—”

She lifted one hand from her lap and touched a finger to his lips to silence him. “It’s all right. I’m not asking for promises you can’t give. After today, I believe what you were trying to tell me. This land is too wild and uncertain to make vows lightly.” She cupped his cheek in her palm, and he moved slightly to place a soft kiss in the center of it. She shivered and closed her eyes
for a moment. “I want to be with you as a woman. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“All right. I won’t question you again.” One corner of his mouth lifted slightly. “But you’re still afraid.” She started to shake her head, and he took her face in his hands. “You’re not a good liar, Cady.”

“I am, a little. But not of you. Or—or this, at least not much. It’s because I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.”

He smiled, a big joyful grin. The past and the future didn’t matter. There was just the present. The scents of smoke, rain, damp earth, man, and woman wove a sensuous spell around them. At this moment, nothing mattered to him but Cady and making her happy.

“You couldn’t disappoint me.”

“How can you be so sure?” The whispered question and the uncertainty in her eyes betrayed the agony of her inexperience.

He lifted her heavy hair away from her face and settled it over her shoulders. “Because I’m going to teach you how to please me.”

She smiled a little. “So I’m the student and you’re the teacher?”

“For now.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out.” He took her hands and pulled her to a kneeling position. They were close, barely touching, and he could feel the warmth from her body. The lace from her chemise tickled his chest. He took her face in his hands again. Her breathing increased, sweetly washing over him, and he nodded with satisfaction. “Something tells me you’ll pick this up as fast as you learned to shoot and start fires.”

“But, Kane, what if—”

“The first lesson is not to talk so much.” He lowered
his mouth to hers, slid his hands into the lush mass of her hair, and closed his hands around the silky strands. Slowly, he tugged her head back. The long slender column of her neck was bared to him, and he kissed her just beneath her ear. He trailed kisses down to her collarbone and, with his tongue, caressed the rapidly beating pulse there.

He had known passion before, but that was nothing compared to the hunger inside him now. Only sheer effort of will kept him from tumbling her to the ground and taking her right away.

She moaned. “Oh, Kane. That feels so—so—” He smiled against her skin. “I can’t believe you’re speechless.”

“I thought you were going to show me what you like.”

“I am showing you.”

“But I—you—” She blinked at him, her eyes puzzled yet full of fire.

“I like to touch you. I like to kiss you. I like it that I put that expression in your eyes and made you look at me the way you do now.”

“How am I looking at you?” she asked breathlessly.

“As if you want me.”

He slid his hands down to her small waist, to the bottom of her chemise. Taking hold, he lifted slightly, waiting for her to stop him if she was frightened. She hesitated several moments, reminding him of her innocence; then she raised her arms. The movement nearly drove him out of his mind.

He pulled the garment over her head. Bare from the waist up, with her hair tangled and wild about her face, Cady was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He pulled her into his arms, against his chest, skin to skin, soft curves to firm muscle, tender to rough. The hard ache
in his groin told him how desperately he needed to bury himself in her softness. Concern for her held him back.

Cady closed her eyes. In spite of Kane’s gentle manner and reassuring words, she was a little frightened. She reminded herself this was Kane, the man she had waited so long for. She looked at him, and the admiration in his eyes chased away any lingering doubt or self-consciousness. This was right. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself to him. Against her naked breasts, his skin was cool and damp from the rain. The hair on his chest tickled, making her nipples erect. He curved his arms around her and held her tight for several moments, as they savored the sweetness of being close.

Then he lowered her to the scratchy wool blanket. Beneath it, the hard ground pressed into her back. He touched his mouth to hers, and the day’s stubble on his cheek and jaw scraped a little. Then he moved, slowly at first, until he deepened the kiss, creating sparks that set her whole body on fire.

She touched her tongue to his upper lip and he sucked in his breath. He opened his mouth, letting her inside, and the kiss grew more intense, more hungry. It was as if he was starving for her. She knew the feeling and kissed him back with everything she’d been saving over the last two years.

He lifted up, taking his weight on his elbows, and looked at her. “You learn fast, lady.”

“You’re a good teacher.” Her voice was a whisper.

A slow smile turned up the corners of his mouth and sent the blood racing through her veins. Her heart pounded against her ribs. Then he lowered his head to her breast and took the peak in his mouth. The warmth created by his lips swept over her skin like wildfire. He stroked the sensitive tip with his tongue and she almost came up off the ground, the sensation was so powerful.
Never in her life had she felt anything as wonderful. She writhed against him, searching for a way to release the tight core of need coiled low in her belly.

“Kane.” His name was nothing more than a sigh of pleasure on her lips.

“What, love?”

“I don’t know how much more of your teaching I can stand.”

“Am I hurting you?”

“No. I just feel like I’m coming apart inside and I-I don’t know what to do.”

“There’s a lot more to learn.”

“Then teach me—fast,” she said breathlessly.

“Is that an order?”

“Oh, yes!”

“Consider this a salute.” He kissed her again.

He worked loose the knotted ties at the waist of her pantalettes and pushed them down her legs and away. He swept his hand up her thigh, caressed her belly, then slid his fingers lower until they touched her woman’s place.

She started at the contact and pressed her legs together. He froze, then pulled his hand away.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked gently.

“No!” She reached up a hand and cupped his cheek tenderly. Stubbly whiskers brushed her palm. Doubt darkened his light brown eyes. “I’m sorry, Kane. It’s just that—I told you—it’s not easy for me.”

“I’m glad this isn’t easy for you.”

Her eyes widened. “You are?”

He nodded. “It makes me proud that you chose me, that you trust me.” He stopped and swallowed hard. “God knows why, love, but you do. I’ll do my best not to let you down.”

“I know.” She smiled as she caressed his face, then traced his ear with her finger.

He sucked in his breath. Then he grinned down at her. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“As God is my witness, I swear.”

“But you always swear like a lady,” he said, nuzzling the sensitive spot just below her ear.

Then he kissed her on the lips, and the sound she made was part sigh, part moan, pure pleasure. He rolled away from her, and she missed the warmth of his body as he slipped off the rest of his clothes. When he was beside her again, he slid one arm beneath her and pulled her close, so that they lay on their sides facing each other. She felt his hardness pressing into her. His blatant maleness both shocked and excited her.

She watched him as his gaze traveled up and down her body. As the firelight flickered over his face, outlining the hard angles and planes, she could see the desire glowing in his eyes.

This time when he touched her at the juncture of her thighs, she didn’t shy away. He slipped a finger inside her and the movement was like a bolt of lightning crackling through her body, leaving every part of her tingling.

As a need she didn’t quite understand grew inside her, Cady arched against him. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as her breathing increased.

“Teach me now, Kane. I can’t wait.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “Your wish is my command.”

He parted her thighs and levered himself above her, then settled between her legs. Slowly and carefully, he nudged his hardness against her soft, unyielding female core. He approached her warmth slowly, letting her become accustomed to the feel of him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I have to hurt you. Just once. I’ll make it up to you.”

With a swift thrust, he buried himself inside her. There was one sharp stab of pain. Cady closed her eyes
tightly and bit her lip until it passed. Kane held her close without moving.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She looked at him, and his expression of misery and concern tugged at her heart, making her love him more.

She smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine. There’s no pain now.”

She began to move her hips, to prove it to him. To her surprise, the sensation was wonderful. This intimacy with a man was so exquisite, it brought tears to her eyes. She wanted to give something back to him, to show him how she felt.

Sensing that he was holding himself in check to keep from hurting her, Cady arched toward him to meet his tentative lunges. Her movements inflamed him. He groaned and placed his hands, palm down, on either side of her head. His breathing labored, he moved in a steady rhythm that created a coil of tension low in her belly.

As his thrusts came faster, the knot of need inside her expanded. It grew until she went still. Pulsations of pleasure radiated from where their bodies joined, outward to her arms and legs. With her eyes tightly closed, she saw only flashes of gold and orange and red as sensation took over her body. She couldn’t tell if it lasted moments or a lifetime. She only knew it was the most extraordinary feeling she’d ever experienced.

She opened her eyes and wondered at the look of intensity in his just before he lowered his mouth to hers. He began to move within her again until his body tensed and he threw his head back. Cady gripped his wide forearms as he called out his release and spilled his seed inside her. He took the majority of his weight on his arms and rested his forehead to hers. She held him as he shuddered. When he was still and spent, he rolled away from her and rested on his back. He slid an
arm beneath her shoulders and pulled her close, then drew the extra blanket over them.

She snuggled against his warmth. “If all lessons were that pleasurable, I’d still be in school.”

He laughed, and she felt the vibration of the deep sound in his chest. He touched his lips to her forehead. “You’re not the only one who learned something. Behind that refined exterior beats the heart of a passionate lady.”

She smiled, then sighed, and her eyelids fluttered sleepily. Her weariness was bone deep and she couldn’t seem to keep her eyes open.

Outside the cave rain still poured down, resounding, relentless. The noise somehow made her feel safe and secure. Within seconds, she was sound asleep.

Kane wasn’t as fortunate.

He looked down at her and smiled tenderly as he brushed the hair away from her face. “Cady, love,” he whispered.

She mumbled and her lids fluttered as she squirmed against his side, instinctively burrowing into the warmth of his body until she was more comfortable. Her small movement made him distinctly uncomfortable. He wanted her again. God help him. Would this one time with her be enough?

Some part of his soul said no. Another part told him it would have to be.

Taking her was wrong. He wouldn’t let her be a part of his life. He couldn’t take her again. He hadn’t sunk so low that he could forget two wrongs never made a right. If he walked away from her now, all she’d lost was her innocence; if he asked her to stay, she would lose her life.

Maybe not right away. But eventually this desert land, being uprooted, moving from post to post, the
boredom, the isolation, all would take a toll. It would suck the joy out of Cady’s sweet soul. Annie had paid the ultimate price. He wouldn’t let that happen to Cady.