Reason Is You (9781101576151) (24 page)

“She knows now.”

“Really? How did that come about?”

“She saw Alex disappear into a wall.”

I watched his jaw flex and he averted his eyes. I blinked back the tears that wanted to come and focused back on Miss Olivia, who was wide-eyed.

“Well, that’ll do it.”

“I was telling her anyway, but that sort of hit fast-forward,” I said.

“How did she take it?”

I snorted. “Not well. And she’s pissed that I kept it from her, too, which I understand too well.”

Miss Olivia turned sideways in her chair to get into the conversation. “Meaning?”

“Oh, that’s right, I haven’t told you.”

“Dani,” he said, his tone suggesting that I stop.

I refused to look in his direction. If he was going to stay, then so be it.

“I found out that Alex died the same day my mother did, and he didn’t tell me. He spoke to her and didn’t tell me. Oh, and then there’s that—she could see ghosts, too, and my
dad
knew and didn’t tell me.”

Alex started to pace the porch in front of me. Miss Olivia looked stunned. “Holy smokes, girl, how long have I been gone?”

I rubbed my forehead and blew out a breath I felt like I’d been choking on. “Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to unload all that.”

She reached across with her speckled old hand and squeezed mine. “No, you need to or you’re gonna fall over.”

I laughed. “Well, enough of that. What brought you over here?”

She chuckled. “An old lady’s curiosity, originally. But it seems you’ve got bigger fish to fry than a new romance.”

My smile faltered as Alex stopped pacing. My peripheral vision registered every move he made as he came back to kneel directly in front of me.

“What romance?” I attempted, sounding weak even to me.

Miss Olivia guffawed. “Save it, Dani girl, I went by the shop first, and asked where you were, and Jason Miller lit up like a Christmas tree.” She pointed at me. “And you’re doin’ the same thing.”

I scooped back my hair and fanned the front of my shirt out. Not from the muggy, mucky air. No, that would be the heat from the scrutinizing eyes of Alex Stone.

“Your lips,” he said again, his voice soft and faraway sounding. I sucked my bottom one in between my teeth.

“Dani girl, it’s a good thing, you and Jason. He’s a good man.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Bullshit,” she said, working her way back up out of the chair. “People always say that when they’re chickenshit. It’s what you make it. Don’t be a fool.”

Alex stood and backed up to the rail, and as I got up, I took a quick look at him. I wished I hadn’t. His gaze was directed back at the river, but there were tears in his eyes. My breath caught in my chest, and it was everything I could do to not say something to him.

I walked Miss Olivia to her car instead, just as Riley walked up the drive.

“Hey, Miss O,” she said, giving her a hearty hug. “How was your trip?”

“Peachy, how was the swim?”

Riley’s jaw dropped, as did mine. Although I don’t know why I was surprised. Leave it to Miss Olivia to know everything about everything and usually before the body was cold. And then not mince words about it.

“Um—what?” Riley attempted, giving me a this-old-woman-is-off-her-rocker conspiratorial look. I just smiled sweetly.

“People talk, sweetheart. And in this town, if you aren’t one of the chosen ones, they don’t talk nice. Think with your head, child. Not your hormones. And if I hear more crap like that, I’m cuttin’ you both off.”

Riley turned as red as a tomato, eyes and everything. Her chin even quivered. She wasn’t used to that kind of bluntness, and I loved it.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, love y’all. Gotta go.”

Bing! Change of subject, and she was gone. Riley walked straight to the house and up the stairs. I decided to let Miss Olivia’s
words work their magic and give Riley the shock effect she needed. Let her sweat out me knowing, with a little cold shoulder. I totally sounded like I knew what I was doing. How hysterical was that?

Miss Olivia was gone. Riley was upstairs. And I stood in the yard, facing the porch. Facing an empty porch. Alex was gone.

N
O
guilt there. The man of my dreams—literally—can only stand by while another man steps in. That sucked. Alex had always been my soul mate. It was palpable from the moment we met. Granted, I was a bit young then, but I knew him. I knew him instantly.

But reality was reality. Alex and I could never be together. Not until I died. Which made me wonder why he wasn’t with Sarah.
Sarah died first.
Why did he come here?
Not like there was a choice.

So if he came directly here, did Sarah and Alyssa do the same? Did they cross over or go somewhere else? And then what did he promise my mother? And why?

I lay on my bed that night, staring at the ceiling fan again. Asking my mother things I knew I’d never get answers to, but I’d done that for so long, it was just rote. The questions had changed, though. It used to be about why she never came. Why everyone else in the world came but her. Why she didn’t want to see me, talk to me, help me.

Those were the standard questions of my life. Now it was just—why? Why anything? I swung my legs down and went to the computer, telling myself I’d surf around and check e-mail that no one would send. But I knew where I was going.

I pulled up the site off of history and quickly scrolled directly to the photo. All three of the Stones smiled at me through their grainy window.

Alyssa’s mischievous grin drew me in, making me smile. The warmth and love spread through me as her laughter bounced off my ears. Knowing she had peanut butter crackers in her pocket struck a funny bone and I felt the giggle bubble up as Alex poked her in the ribs. The laugh fell out of my mouth, loud in the quiet room, and I sucked in air with such a violent start that I felt dizzy for a second. I blinked and gripped the desk with hands that were suddenly sweaty. My breaths came in short bursts.

“What the hell?”

I stared at the picture, Sarah smiling. I’d felt that smile. Inside me.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered, scooping back damp hair.

“Mom?”

I jumped a mile and sent a cup of pens and pencils flying. At Riley’s alarmed look, I held up a hand.

“Sorry, I was just—somewhere else.”

“God, Mom, you look sick.”

I felt sick. “I’m fine. What’s up?”

She pointed at the computer screen. “That’s Alex.”

I looked back at it, still gripping the desk. “Yeah.”

She walked forward. “His family? He was married?”

“Yeah,” I repeated.

She frowned. “What happened?”

“They died in an accident.”

She turned to meet my gaze. “The little girl, too?”

I nodded, looking from Riley to the mottled image of Alyssa.

“That sucks. Where are they now?”

“I don’t know.”

“I mean, why aren’t they—” She gestured in circles. “Hanging out with him?”

“I don’t know.”

She turned her frown to me. “What do you know?”

“Not nearly enough.” I got up and walked to the bed, flexing my fingers.

“What got you all wigged out over here?”

“Nothing, Riley.” I sat down and tried to refocus. “Did you need something?”

She ignored me. Nothing like normal. “Do you think he misses them?” she asked, pointing at the picture.

I let out a long sigh. “Yeah. If something happened to you, I’d miss you every minute.”

Riley let a small smile tug at her lips. “Even when I’m being an ass?”

“No, but I’d focus on the good times.”

She threw a stray eraser at me. “Nice.”

I flopped backward onto the bed, and she slung herself down next to me. I turned to study her as she picked at old fingernail polish.

“This is weird,” she said after a bit. Her voice sounded soft and childish.

“Which part?”

She widened her eyes. “That’s what I mean.
Everything
is so bizarre now. We talk about dead people like that’s normal. What happened to the
real
normal?

I pulled a pillow to me, feeling the regret burn inside my chest. “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I wanted you to have a normal life as long as possible. I never had one.”

She looked at me then. “If we wouldn’t have come back here, would you have ever told me?”

I gnawed on my bottom lip on that one, knowing the answer. “I don’t know,” I lied. “Probably, if I’d noticed you doing it. I always thought it was just me.”

She frowned. “You said your mother did this, too.”

“Which I found out last week. By accident.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

Her blue eyes narrowed and reality dawned across her features. “That photo album—”

“Yep, that’s what did it.”

She nodded and turned her interest back on her fingernails, and I watched the haughty little mask settle across her face.

“You know, what Miss O said earlier—all we did was go swimming, I don’t know what she’s making such a fuss about.”

“I’d say it’s about stripping down to your underwear and dry humping a boy in public.”

Riley’s eyes flew to mine, wide and startled. And busted. “What the—”

“There’s not too much you can sneak by with in this town, believe me, but that little gem came straight from somebody who watched and is on a mission to be next.”

Disgust replaced the defiance, as she fixed me with an expression of repulsion. “Oh God.”

“Yeah, so think of all the horny eyes out there getting a thrill next time you decide to put on a show.”

“Mom! God, there was no
show
.” At my raised eyebrows, she added, “That I knew about.”

“So you want to tell me now that you and Grady aren’t doing anything?”

“We’re not, Mom. I swear.” Riley looked me square in the eyes,
and I knew that look to be the real thing. The before-she-was-an-alien look. “Making out is as far as it’s gone.”

“In your underwear.”

She closed her eyes. “Yes.”

“That trend won’t last.”

“I know.” She sighed and rolled onto her back. “That was stupid. I guess I thought I was being all responsible because everyone else was getting naked.”

“Okay, in that situation—other than coming home—” I said with a pointed look. “You made the smart call, boog. But making out like that took the smart away.”

“It just kinda got away from me.”

I nodded. “It’ll do that.” I paused. “Were you drinking?”

She waited a beat too long. “No.”

“Riley Anne.”

Her whole body reacted. “I hate when you do that.” She fidgeted with her cord necklace and then her hair, staring at the ceiling as if it could rescue her. “Okay, yeah, there was some beer.”

“How much?”

“I don’t know. It was just in this big ice chest in the back of somebody’s truck.”

I shook my head. “You, sweetheart. How much did
you
have?”

She shrugged. “A couple, I guess,” she said, her voice trailing off. Which meant probably more.

I stood up and walked to the window and back again, my stomach propelling me around the room.

“Half naked and beer doesn’t go well together, Riley. You’re damn lucky you weren’t raped.”

She perched on one elbow. “Grady wouldn’t do that.”

I scooped my hair back, breathing in and out slowly. “I don’t mean Grady. But even with him, that makes it a lot easier to let things
get away from you
.”

She averted her eyes. “I know.”

“You know.” I was frustrated and my stomach went acidic. I flopped into the big chair. “Riley, I need to be able to trust you better than that.”

Defensiveness boiled back up in her face. “Okay, I get it. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly that night. I’d just seen a man vanish into a wall and was a little pissed. I wanted to be like everybody else.”

“This was the other night when you left?”

“Yes.”

Some of my anger and anxiety dissipated, as logic started to piece itself together. “The next day, when you didn’t go see Grady—are things okay?”

Back at the fingernails again. “Yeah. I was just—I don’t know. I felt kinda weird about it, I guess.” Oh, thank God. “So, can I sleep in here tonight?” she asked.

A smile tugged at a corner of my mouth and I got up to pick up the pencils so she wouldn’t see. If I appeared to enjoy it, she’d yank back the request.

“Because there are bugs in your room?”

She twisted a piece of hair and then tucked it behind her ear. “Possibly.”

“Well, that can’t be good.”

She climbed under the covers, taking a lack of a no for a yes.

M
Y
cell chirped that I had a text message at precisely 11:48 p.m. I knew this because I’d seen that minute and every preceding one tick by since I’d turned off the lights.

I couldn’t get it out of my head. What the hell was going on with that picture? It was like I was there. I fumbled for my phone, marveling at who would be texting a psychotic freak like me at nearly midnight. Jason.

I blinked and put the phone down, then chuckled and picked it back up. Sliding carefully out of bed, I moved to the chair and hit the call button.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Are you serious?”

His rumbling laugh sounded warm in my ear. It was comforting, familiar. Oddly so, for not knowing him that long.

“I always wanted to ask a woman that,” he said. “Thought I’d give it a whirl.”

“Well, keep on whirling.”

“Why are we talking so soft?” he asked, almost whispering himself.

“I have company in my bed tonight.”

“Really?”

I pulled my feet underneath me and snuggled into the chair, refusing to look in the direction of the computer. Even with the screen off and dark, it gave me the creeps.

“Yeah, my daughter thinks she loves me on occasion. She’s having a weak moment.”

“Do I need to let you go?”

“No, she sleeps like the dead.” Which I found ironic to say since the dead had never once slept or been quiet around me.