Reason Is You (9781101576151) (22 page)

“Yeah, you’re right. We were having a good time.” I braved looking Jason in the face and was surprised to see a smile in his eyes, if not on his lips. “Until your friends decided to be twelve.”

I raised the counter and walked out front, slinging an arm around Riley. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

We walked outside and waited until the door closed all the way, then she sat on the bench and looked up at me.

“Is that what I have to look forward to?”

T
HAT
nearly broke me. I felt very heavy and old as I sat down next to her.

“No, boog. Because you’re stronger than me.”

“That’s why you didn’t have friends here, isn’t it? Why you didn’t want to come back?”

Nothing like having it nailed down for you. “Yeah.”

“So people knew?”

I shook my head. “No. Mine started young, Riley. I saw things I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to, so I’d be talking to people no one else saw.”

“And mine just popped up when we got here?” she asked. “Seriously?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe? Maybe you’ve been seeing them all along and just didn’t know it.”

She covered her eyes. “God.”

“And I wasn’t looking for it, either,” I said. “I never noticed until suddenly you were talking to Alex in the front yard.”

“What if people see me?” She slapped her hand back to her lap. “If this town already knows—”

“They don’t,” I said, careful to keep my tone calming. She looked ready to run again. I knew that feeling. “No one ever knew except Miss Olivia. Everyone else just thought I was weird.”

“Now that will be me.”

“No.” I touched her arm. “Look at me. No, it won’t. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since being back, it’s how to embrace this. I didn’t have my mom to help me, but you do. And I’m telling you like someone told me. Lighten up about it. It’s not that bad.”

“But if people are already looking for something weird—”

“Baby, you’ll be fine. Because you won’t give them anything. I’m told my mother was outgoing and vibrant and didn’t care what people thought. And they loved her. You are like that.”

She looked forward. “If I hadn’t walked in last night, would you still keep it from me?”

Oh, déjà vu.

“Last night, I told you we needed to talk, remember? Pop and I were waiting for you to come home so we could tell you.”

She shook her head. “How am I supposed to trust anything? Anyone? How the hell do I know who I’m talking to?”

“You have me to show you. To tell you the rules.”

She got up. “I don’t want this. I don’t want to know any rules. I don’t want this freak show.”

“There’s not much choice, sorry.”

She deflated and sat back down with a thump. “This is messed up. And I knew something was off with that Alex guy.”

“That Alex guy—was my best friend.” Is? Was? I was on that uncomfortable fence of defending someone you’re mad at.

“That’s pathetic.”

I got up and stared her down. “And that’s beneath you. You can leave now.”

Her face instantly changed. “Mom, I—”

“I said leave.”

Shelby walked out at that moment.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt something private?” she asked, her sarcasm barely disguised.

“Get a life, Shelby,” I said, swinging the door open. “Go plug your freezer back in. You’re not getting laid today.”

I heard Riley laugh in spite of being mad at me. That darn fence again.

A
LEX
didn’t come by that night. Riley stayed in her room, wanting privacy, not even wanting to go see Grady. Dad was into some westerns, looking for normalcy I suppose. I sat on the porch, feeling that article calling to me. I never did click it off. I knew it was still up, under the screen saver, and the memory of the last reaction I had to it still burned in my brain. What the hell was that about? I finished my tea and headed up there, knowing it was inevitable.

I sat down and skimmed the touchpad, and felt my stomach wrench again at the sight of Alex and his family.

Absently, I ran the cursor in a circle around Sarah. She was beautiful. A natural smile that radiated love. I could almost imagine her kiss him and laugh just before the picture was taken, teasing him about an inside joke. Alyssa making faces until her dad poked her in the ribs, making her giggle for the camera.
That’s my baby girl…

I blinked and sat back, feeling disconcerted. I scrolled back up
and reread the article, word for word, and filed it in my head with what Alex had told me about the storm and how they had died.

While I was born.

Or not totally. Alex said that I was already born when he got there, and my mother was alive. A flash of light burned across my vision, followed by a wave of vertigo. I closed my eyes and felt my fingers grasp the desk, but it was like it was someone else doing it. I heard the wind again, roaring over something. Water? My chest tightened as I heard a scream—

My cell sang, which made me jump and gasp for air as I yanked myself out of my thought process. It was a text message. From Jason. Jason had my cell? Oh yeah, the car.

Yes. There was a moment. A good one.

My jaw dropped. And I felt sixteen. Or maybe I just felt forty because I didn’t get to experience that at sixteen.

I looked back at the article and took some deep breaths. Something was seriously messed up there. I had to get away from it, and I was just given the perfect diversion. I would take a shower and bask in my first text message from a guy telling me there had been a moment. I was pathetic, as Riley would say, but I didn’t care.

Tomorrow he’d probably be distant again, but right then was good. Even with an unanswered something nagging behind all the puzzle pieces and those last tortured burning looks from Alex. Right then was okay.

T
HE
next morning, I woke up with thoughts of Alex, and instantly pushed them aside for thoughts of Jason. I had to focus on something; the schizoid life was making me nuts. No pun intended.

So I took extra care getting ready. Still jeans and a T-shirt, but my best T-shirt, good hair, and a little makeup. High fashion at the bait shop.

I pulled up at the shop, with butterflies in my stomach. His car wasn’t there, but sometimes he walked, so that didn’t mean anything. I took a deep breath before I opened the door and walked in with a smile.

“Hey there.”

I stopped short. “Hey, Marg. I thought you were gone till Monday.”

“Didn’t want to miss getting ready for the festival next week. Lot of things to prepare.”

My God, what was with this freakin’ festival? You’d think it was Mardi Gras.

“Oh, okay.” I went behind the counter and started my normal routine, grabbing a cup of coffee. “Jason here yet?”

That sounded nonchalant, right?

“No, I called him and let him know I’d be here. So he won’t need to come till noon.”

Everything flopped. I felt like Shelby. I wanted to throw my coffee in the air and cry.

“Gotcha,” I said instead.

I’d smell like shrimp by noon. Groovy.

“So did y’all miss me?” Marg asked, as she opened a crate of lures I’d put off till I could find a spot for them. Or till she got back.

“Of course; how was your vacation?”

“Hot. Don’t go to Colorado in the summer. Freaks don’t have air-conditioning.”

I laughed. “What?”

“Seriously. My brother-in-law says they don’t need it most of the year, because the humidity’s so low.” She dumped the crate over on the floor. “Whatever. All I can say is the summer is god-awful brutal with no air. House bakes all day and heat rises. Bedrooms are upstairs. You do the math.”

The rest of the morning wore me out, waiting six hours to find out which one would show up—Jekyll or Hyde. Which was harsh, I knew, but the man was moody. And I found out in a way that only I could. Coming from the back, rounding the corner of the hall, yelling something back at Marg, I stopped just short of colliding with him again.

He grabbed my arms as I teetered on momentum.

“Oh!” I started laughing. “I’m sorry.”

“We need mirrors and traffic lights in here.”

We were awfully close, like body-heat close, and I found myself struggling to remember what I was yelling to Marg.

“Eight dozen,” I said.

He blinked. “What?”

“Excuse me.” I pulled free of him and wound my way up front. “Eight dozen, Marg. That’s all we have left.”

“All right, I’m posting that up front,” she said. “Bob said it’s tapped out. When they’re gone, they’re gone.”

“Got it.”

“Now I’m out of here. Try not to flood the place, will you?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jason answered, and a smile played at his lips. He might own the place, but he was still a newbie. Margie Pete ran that particular ship for too many years to answer to an outsider. She turned to look at both of us as she reached the door and chuckled.

I frowned as she left. “What was that?”

But Jason had already dived into a box of hooks and weights.

“Been busy?” he asked.

“People are lunatics today,” I said, trying to get a read on his mood by staring at the side of his head. “Everyone is doing practice runs for next week’s fishing tournament.”

“Don’t knock it—it means more business.”

I nodded. Not that he saw it. He was elbow deep in merchandise.
I headed to the back, wondering why I’d bothered with anything this morning. He was all business. Evidently, moments—even good ones—were few and far between. Or maybe he had just meant to acknowledge that yes, that moment was nice, but wasn’t implying any future ones.

“Maybe he was just being nice,” I muttered as I picked up an empty box and tossed it to the big garbage bin, narrowly missing the shrimp vat. “Maybe I imagined the whole mess, text and all. Maybe I need to quit analyzing it.”

“Maybe you just need to turn around.”

I whirled in place, uttering a yelp that probably wasn’t the sexiest, and found myself looking right up into his face.

“Oh—hey!”

“Hey.”

His eyes were playful and sweet and hot all at the same time, and I didn’t know whether to jump him or shake his hand.

“You—shouldn’t sneak up on people when they’re—babbling to themselves.” Oh God. Just shoot me.

He jutted a thumb behind him and backed up a step. “Should I go? Do you need to continue?”

“No—no, no,” I said, laughing. I prayed for something witty to say. “Come back—where you were.” Yeah, that wasn’t it.

He stepped closer again, and it became painfully obvious that the two of us combined had the romantic social skills of a tree. We stood there looking at each other waiting for—something.

“So, where’ve you been lately?” I asked.

Thank God he knew what I actually meant by that. A small silent chuckle crossed his lips.

“Wondering if this is a really bad idea.”

I nodded as my stomach fluttered. “Wow, that—”

“Sounded horrible, I know.”

“No, I know what you mean.”

“Thank God.” He rubbed his eyes and I had to smile. “See, that’s just it. I can talk to you for some reason. That blows my mind.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t do that. Talk.”

I nodded again and pretended to consider that as I watched his lips form words.

“So what was your conclusion?”

He inched closer. “That it’s still a really bad idea.”

“And yet—” I gestured around us. “Here we are. In the bait room.”

“Yeah, I can pick a hot spot, can’t I?”

I started to laugh, and his hand came up to my face and into my hair, and I found it interesting that I could laugh without breathing. His face came down, mine tilted up, and I was reminded of that night on the dance floor.

“Relax,” he whispered so close to my lips that I felt the word.

Then it was on. As soon as his mouth landed on mine, my body remembered what to do. His lips were soft and searching and mine were hungry. He pulled me in, kissing me deeper. I wound my arms around his back and pulled him to me in response.

He made a little moan in my mouth, and I got a rush of liquid heat that I hadn’t felt in years. Not in real life—with another person. The thought whizzed through my head that I was being way too easy, but the one that chased it off said that I was forty and tainted goods and too horny to care.

He backed me up to the bait table and before I knew it, I was lifted and sitting on it, looking him eye to eye. Our hands shifted roles. I wound my fingers into his hair while his worked from my waist down my legs and back again. Over and over. It was everything I could do not to wrap my legs around him and hump him like a dog.

Then he moved his mouth down the side of my neck and I thought I was done for. A little noise escaped my throat as he slid his hands around to my ass and tugged me against him.

It was crazy. Something in my head knew that. But my body was starved for the attention and judging by his reaction to my touch, so was his.

Then the bell jingled up front.

We both jumped as if we’d been hit with electric shock, and Jason backed up a step. He rubbed at his face with a shaky hand.

“I’ll um—” He gestured toward the front. “I’ll go see.”

I just nodded. Talking was out of the question. He backed up, not breaking eye contact with me until he left the room. It was like being an awkward teenager, except that I had one of those and she was much more together than me.

I closed my eyes and fanned my hair out for air. I knew my chest had to be bright red and my face and neck were on fire.

“Oh my God, what am I doing?” I said, pushing off the table onto shaky legs.

Making out with my boss in the back room. He was right. Nothing about it was smart. So then why was my entire body in heat, recalling every place he touched like memory foam?

Hearing voices, I decided to suck it up and go be a grown-up. I fluffed my hair out and swiped under my eyes, checking my reflection in an old glass poster frame advertising tackle boxes. I just hoped my chest and neck weren’t glowing, but that thought alone brought a fresh wave of heat to the surface. I needed to go stick my head in a freezer.

The walk up front gave me a second to hold my head up, just in time to see Matty Sims turn around. I almost groaned. He gave me a once-over.