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---------Forwarded Message----------

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Fri, May 9 at 3:55 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

Oh, no . . . honestly, I just kind of assumed we were hanging out. I don't know why. Sorry to be unclear. I was saying that I
am
free . . .

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Fri, May 9 at 3:12 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Wait, did I black out and forget we have plans tonight? I'm supposed to get drinks with Eric and Jess . . .

 

Subject: [Fwd: Re: (no subject)]

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Fri, May 9 at 11:17 PM

To: David Meyer

So I think you were right

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: (no subject)]

From: David Meyer

Date: Fri, May 9 at 11:30 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

I'm right about most things. You're going to have to be more specific.

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: (no subject)]

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Fri, May 9 at 11:33 PM

To: David Meyer

About me needing to clarify things with Madeline.

Seeing her tomorrow for brunch, though not exactly sure what I'm gonna say.

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: (no subject)]

From: David Meyer

Date: Fri, May 9 at 11:54 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

Obviously do what you want, you're a grown up, etc., but I will say one thing: Do you even remember how much of a struggle it was getting Ellie to date you in the first place? I do, because you bitched about it constantly. First she wanted to hang out, then she pulled back, then she'd text you obsessively for a week, then you wouldn't hear from her for a few days, then she'd say come over right now, then she'd make you leave, then she'd say “No, wait, turn the cab around come back.” She basically gave you full-blown Stockholm Syndrome. But you got so addicted to the drama you stuck it out way longer than you should have.

Madeline, on the other hand, has been cool and accommodating and seems well-adjusted and seems to like you, which you now don't even know how to process, because you're so conditioned to only like girls who treat you like shit.

So, yeah, do what you want, but I thought you should at least be aware of that before you do something dumb.

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: (no subject)]

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Fri, May 9 at 11:58 PM

To: David Meyer

There's a reason you're a lawyer and I make kale salad for a living.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Subject: (no subject)

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Sun, May 11 at 11:54 AM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Hey,

Just wanted to say that I'm really glad we talked. Believe it or not, while I have many talents, being able to immediately tell what's bothering you isn't one (yet).

Going forward, I am going to try to be as open/direct as possible. Hopefully, that will save us a lot of time and energy that can be better spent on other things. Like making out.

Obviously, we're still kind of figuring this thing out, but that seems like something we can both agree on. Deal?

“Sounds good, Elliot! By the way, you're super handsome. Just thought you should know!”

(Felt like I was on a roll, so just took the liberty of responding for you.) :)

Sincerely, Boyfriend(!)

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Sun, May 11 at 12:36 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

Hey back,

I am happy we talked too. And you are handsome!

I think the thing is (how come there only ever gets to be one “thing” in these conversations?) that we obviously really like each other (hopefully this is obvious . . . sign me up for sex/snuggling/so forth please) but sometimes it's hard to know the degree of
on-board-ness the other person is experiencing. And so I don't always feel comfortable saying when something bothers me because it either feels naggy or like I haven't earned the right to say it because I'm not sure where we stand/I stand with you. Just, further to our chat—which was relatively painless, considering!—I want to be honest. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm a firm believer in the proportionate response. And we're still figuring out what this is, so proportions are tricky. Anyway, you're awesome.

And, this email is waaaay too us-talk-y. The cooler reply goes something like:

“It's all good, Elliot. Now, call in sick to work because one of my big authors has just decided to stay with friends when she comes to New York on her book tour and I have not yet canceled her sweet SUITE at the Four Seasons
this week
. . .”

DO IT. Call me when you get this.

Girlfriend(!)

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Sun, May 11 at 8:06 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Just seeing this because the kitchen is a madhouse right now as two of our line cooks went home early because of food poisoning (irony! and no, not from eating here) but—BUT—I wanted to let you know that I'm glad we're on the same page. Call soon.

P.S. Agreed. People who are dating and live in the same city shouldn't have to write emails that are this long to each other. So let's try not to do it anymore. :)

 

 

 

Subject: (no subject)

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Mon, May 12 at 2:15 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

I know we already talked last night about your big convo with Elliot, but I have one extra thought re: you thinking he's not as into this as you are because he doesn't always respond as fast as you'd like him to: Forgive me but why do I have a hunch that when I don't text/email you for a bit and then tell you it's because I've been busy, you believe me, but when Elliot (aka YOUR BOYFRIEND) doesn't respond in a timely fashion, you take it so personally?

You like him. And like most sane people, you don't like that many other people. But watch that your anxiety doesn't drive you to crazy town.

You know who else is normally too busy to press “reply” half the time? YOU. Find that bitch and put her to work.

Have fun at the Four Seasons.

x

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Mon, May 12 at 2:31 PM

To: Emily Roberts

“Find that bitch and put her to work.”

Hearts to you.