Razing Kayne (20 page)

Quickly crossing the room, he took the containers out of her hands. “You're making
me look bad, short-stuff.”

“Sorry. I'll work harder at playing the damsel in distress.” She batted her eyes dramatically.
“Would the big strong State Trooper help poor little ole me out and carry in the heavy
food from the Tahoe while I start setting everything up?” She held out the keys.

“Boy
am
I glad I'm wearing boots,” Kayne grumbled

Jess laughed. It was a good look on her. He loved seeing the sparkle in her eyes and
that damned dimple he'd yet to get his tongue on. Kayne leaned in close and whispered,
“We'll have
to work on that whole rescuer-damsel fantasy later. Sounds like fun.” When he pulled
back, he was well rewarded. Her cheeks were stained with a pretty blush.

Jess hadn't been kidding, Kayne realized once he reached the Tahoe. She appeared to
have brought everything from crustless sandwiches cut in the shape of butterflies
and flowers, to fruit on shish-kabobs that looked like a bouquet of flowers, and vegetables
cut and pieced together to look like insects. Even the ice cubes had gummy bugs frozen
inside. She’d gone all out.

Kayne learned, as the party progressed, that Jess was a whirlwind of activity. She
never sat down once. She seemed happy, in her element, and he received several alerts
on his phone, showing she'd added more activities to her already bursting schedule.
A play date
here, a doctor's appointment there.
Notes about finding ways to solve utility, housing, and transportation issues for
families of Darcy’s Kids.
But the one that brought him up short read:
Plan Mother's Day gift and Luncheon for Darcy's Kids
.
Mother's day.
That definitely had to go on
his
calendar.

Kayne was sure there had to be well over a hundred people in attendance. However,
when it came time for Casey to open her presents, with but a few exceptions, the bulk
of gifts were the ones Jess had purchased. It made Kayne’s throat tighten with emotion
when he realized Casey was as happy over new socks and underwear as she was over dress-up
clothes and a tea set.

***

As the party wound down, Jess found Kayne standing off by himself, watching the kids
play. His expression betrayed a whirlwind of emotions. “So what do you think?”

He was silent for a long moment. “That I wish I'd had some place like this to come
to growing up.”

“Was your mother that bad?”

Kayne let out a heavy sigh. “She was a prostitute.” There was little emotion in his
voice. “I guess I was about six when her Russian equivalent of a pimp sold us to an
American looking for a wife. I don't even remember the guy’s name; we were with him
for such a short time. Just long enough for Nina to get her citizenship.”

He paused and looked at Jess thoughtfully. “I remember he was nice. He read me stories.
Let me call him dad.” Kayne shrugged. “She left him to be someone's high dollar whore,
and I was pretty much left to take care of myself.” He laughed bitterly. “If it weren't
for Ben and Luann Dobrescu, I'd be dead or in prison.”

For a moment, she glimpsed
a bleakness
in his eyes, then it was quickly masked.

“Stupid twelve-year-old that I was, I tried to pickpocket a retired Force Recon Marine.
Right in front of the cops, no less.
Pop had turned in his uniform and become a youth pastor of all things.” Kayne shook
his head. “He's this huge guy. Has a good two inches and forty-pounds on me still.”

To Jess, Kayne was huge. She had a hard time imagining Ben.

“He gave me an ultimatum that day. I could either attend youth group for eight weeks,
or he'd press charges. I didn't want anything to do with him or his church, but I
wasn't stupid enough to choose the alternative. I was still attending six-months later,
when Nina came home one night and told me to pack, that we were flying back to Russia
the next morning. Some guy from her past wanted her back. There was no way in hell
I was going. I was finally getting my life together.

Kayne shifted his stance so he could keep an eye on Gracie and Isabelle when they
moved from the sandbox to the swings. “I didn't know what else to do, so I called
Ben. I went to live with them that night. There were eight of us—nine once my baby
sister was born—in a three-bedroom house, until we started going off to college five
years later. It was crowded and chaotic
and there was never any extra, but there was always enough. Enough shelter, enough
food, and certainly enough love. When I left home, it was with my Eagle Scout medal,
an Honors High School diploma, and a full two-year scholarship to a community college.”
There was unmistakable
 
self-pride in Kayne’s voice.

Jess's heart broke for the child Kayne had been, and she thanked God for Ben and Luann
Dobrescu. God, she'd accused him of having no idea how rough her childhood had been.
Hers had been a walk in the park by comparison.

TWENTY-ONE

Jess pulled onto the long paved driveway after the school board meeting the following
Wednesday night, surprised to see a dark sedan parked along the driveway near the
house. When she slowed down to try and get a better look, the driver flipped its lights
on high, nearly blinding her, and sped away.

Her gut clenched with disappointment. Kayne had obviously had someone here who hadn’t
wanted her to know their identity. Though the last week-and-a-half hadn’t been perfect,
it had seemed like they were making progress. Obviously, she’d been wrong.

When they arrived home last Saturday, Jess had shown Kayne the bedroom she'd prepared
for him. He'd simply smiled and said, “Thanks,” then proceeded to move his clothing
and personal items into the room. Since then, he’d been a quiet presence in the house,
interacting with the children, claiming responsibility for them—all of them—on his
days off, being helpful and polite, and maybe even a little flirty with her. But he
had kept his physical distance. Except for those moments after they’d tucked the kids
in when he kissed her goodnight. Each kiss started out chaste and ended with them
breathing hard until Kayne finally bid her ”Sweet dreams, Jess,” and disappeared to
his own room, leaving her hot and achy, wanting and wondering.

Intent on locating Kayne and asking him about the strange vehicle and his visitor,
Jessica accessed the security screen and discovered he was in the nursery with Gracie
and Isabelle.

She made her way upstairs, wondering what she’d say. When she reached the nursery
and heard the little girls splashing in the bath tub, Jess's heart tapped a frantic
beat against her ribcage. She silently peeked around the corner, and the sight before
her nearly broke her heart.

Gracie and Isabelle were happily splashing away, while Kayne sat on the floor next
to the tub, his back to the wall, his forearms resting on his up-drawn knees. He had
a towel bunched up in his fist, squeezing it so tight his white-knuckled hand shook.

“Hi, short-stuff.”
Kayne didn’t take his eyes off the little girls. Though the room was cool he was
covered in a fine layer of sweat. It broke Jess’s heart to see Kayne battling his
demons.

“Yay, Mama's here!” Isabelle shouted. “
Now
can we put more water in?” she asked indignantly.

Jess slowly made her way forward and looked in the tub. There was maybe two inches
of water in the bottom.

She shook her head. “I think that's plenty of water for tonight. Are you guys all
scrubbed up?”

“We didn't wash our hair.” Isabelle pouted

Jess leaned in and pulled the plug. “You're done for tonight.”

***

Kayne felt like he'd just run a marathon. He'd always been the one to give his kids
their baths, even when they were tiny babies. He'd seriously considered putting the
girls to bed without one,
afraid of the memories doing so would conjure. He hadn't imagined it would be this
difficult, but he'd done it.
Mostly.

Kayne read the girls a story once they were tucked into bed, then kissed them goodnight,
thanking whatever powers that be that he had these precious moments. Together, he
and Jess checked on Ash, who was patiently awaiting his own story, though he preferred
to read to Kayne.

Maddy simply wanted to be tucked in and left to read on her own.
So independent.
But then, according to Jess, she always had been. At five, she'd managed to keep
her infant brother alive for over a week when their crack-head mother had abandoned
them. Regrettably CPS separated the two well before Maddy came to live with Jess and
Jarred, and though Jess had tried, she'd never learned what had happened to that baby
brother. It explained why Maddy was so much older than her years and so fiercely protective
of her siblings.

Once they stepped outside Maddy's room,
Jess turned to him. “Who was here tonight?”

He was surprised by the question.
“Just me and the kids, why?”

“I saw the black car, Kayne.” She crossed her arms defiantly. “It sped out of here
the second I pulled in.” She held up her hands to stop any response he would have
made. “You know what, never mind, I'm sorry. I promised you I wouldn't ask any questions
about your relationships, and I won’t.”

That got his attention, more than the presence of the strange vehicle. When she turned
to walk away, Kayne captured her arm. Jarred had been a class-A prick for cheating
on her, but dammit he wasn't going to pay for his sins.

Fuck!
He shouldn't have to justify himself.
It's a learning curve, Dobrescu, roll with it
.

“I didn't have anyone here, Jess. Maybe it was a nosy reporter. We've been too lucky
so far. Did you get a plate, see the driver?”

“No.” She refused to make eye contact, looking everywhere but at him.

It was time they dealt with this head-on. He pulled Jess into a deep alcove off the
back hallway and pressed her against the wall. “I've kept my distance, because every
time I get close to you, I get hard.” He pressed the proof of that against her belly.
“I knew you weren't ready, so I've been forced to dream about you and take a hell
of a lot of really cold showers.”

She looked at him. “I thought I'd done something wrong.”

“Oh, baby, no.
No.
I don't want to rush this, Jess.” He might not have wanted this marriage, but he
was here, and he was determined to make the best of it, and hoped to hell they could
make it work somehow.
For everyone’s sake.

Kayne reached out, his intent a gentle caress. He hated seeing the hurt in her eyes.
His knuckles brushed her cheek, and her eyes fluttered shut, her lips slightly parting.

“So responsive,” he murmured.

His will to take this relationship slow was slipping away by the second. She tilted
her face to his, seeking his mouth. His fingers tangled in her silky tresses, cradling
her head as he leaned into her. Her lips were soft and warm against his, and her lushly
curved body felt incredible cushioned against his hard planes and angles. Her delicate
fingers kneaded his chest like a content kitten. He groaned in response. His calloused
hands caressed her ribs, his thumbs brushing the underside of her breasts. She shuddered
in response.

When her arms slid up to entwine around his neck, he growled in approval and was rewarded
with the feel of her fingers gently stroking the base of his n
eck. His good intentions were now all but a fleeting memory. He stroked his hands
up her thighs, pushing her skirt up until he palmed her ass, petting, lifting, holding
tight as he rocked his steely arousal against her belly. With little
urging, she willingly wrapped her legs around his hips, her heat cradling his as he
pressed her against the wall. He felt her smile against his lips.

“What are you smiling about?” Kayne grazed open-mouthed kisses across her jaw, trailing
slowly down her neck and back up to the hollow behind her ear, where he nuzzled and
inhaled her scent.
Soft, delicate.
Heady.
God, he needed to fuck her. “You find my state of agony funny?” He rocked his hips,
creating a delicious friction.

Jess's giggle strangled into a moan as Kayne thumbed a pebbled nipple.

“I need to touch you,” he whispered. He pulled away to search her face. Her expression
was answer enough.
Thank you, Jesu
s, she wanted that too.

His eyes never left hers as he made quick work of her blouse and then the front clasp
of her bra. “You are so incredibly beautiful,” he murmured as he palmed one breast.
“I have to taste you.” He stroked the distended peak with his tongue.
Suckled her nipple.

She clung to him.
Arched her back giving him better access.
Whimpered when he latched onto her other nipple and gave a hard draw, before letting
it pop out of his mouth.

“What was that you found so funny?” Kayne kissed his way back to her other breast,
greedily sucking, lightly nipping,
gently
tugging.
Rolling.
Softly blowing.

“This...is so...cliché.” Jess panted. “Against...the wall…and...
spread
’em...Officer...
Dobrescu?”

Her nipple slipped from his lips as he gave an involuntary chuckle. He leaned in and
flicked the tip of his tongue across that sexy dimple, just like he'd been dying to
do since the day he'd met her, and was thrilled when she hissed in a surprised breath.

“I love that dimple,” he murmured and did it again. He nuzzled her neck, his breath
raising goosebumps across her body as he fought for control of his own. His fingers
caressed the cleft of her ass, working their way deeper between her thighs. Searching
and finding her dripping wet. His cock throbbed with each pulsing beat of his heart
as she slowly ground herself against him. He had to have her. He could tell she was
close to the edge and wondered what it would take to push her over.

“Just wait and see how good I am at cavity searches.” Kayne dipped one long finger
beneath the edge of her panties, easing them aside. He stroked through her slick wet
folds.
Brushed across her clit once, twice, and again, before he pushed into her tight, hot,
honey-coated core.

“Oh God,” she moaned.

He fed her a second finger, sinking deep.

Jess shuddered as he withdrew and pressed in again. His rigid cock rubbed against
her clit as he pumped his fingers in and out and back in one more time.

Her whole body
tensed,
her back bowing. Her inner muscles clamped tight, and she released a soul deep moan
as she came.
Jesus Christ!
His balls tightened painfully. It took every ounce of self-control he had left not
to come with her.

She was so goddamned beautiful. How could she have ever thought she would disappoint
him?

Kayne rested his forehead against the wall, trying to gain some semblance of control.
“I need to be inside you, baby.
Right now.”
Right.
Now.

He felt Jess nod in response.

“I need to hear you say the words, baby. Tell me if this is what you want.” And mean
it! As badly as he wanted her, he needed to know this was truly consensual.

***

“I want this,” she whispered. And she did. She wanted to be claimed by him. To be
marked. She wanted all those hot erotic clichés she'd only ever read about.

Jess reached down and fumbled with the snap and zipper of Kayne’s jeans, not waiting
for him to make a move, afraid he'd change his mind. She heard and felt the rending
of her silk panties, felt the tug as he ripped them away—that turned her on more than
she wanted to admit—then he was there, throbbing against her.
Long and too thick for her to close her fingers around.
She squeezed, gave an experimental stroke, and he growled, “I can't wait, baby. I'm
sorry. I'm not going to last.”

Slowly, inch by glorious inch, he rocked into her, stretching her right to the very
edge of pain. It seemed almost appropriate because she felt like a virgin in his arms.
Regardless that they were vertical, she still felt like she was making love for the
first time.

“God, baby, you're so tight.” He panted, sweat rolling down his back. With one last
thrust of his hips, he seated himself to the hilt, and they both moaned.

***

Kayne held perfectly still, the tip of his cock pulsing against the entrance to her
womb, trying to give her time to adjust to his size. Knowing by her own admission
that she hadn't had sex since well before her first husband had died. “Am I hurting
you?” he rasped and prayed to God she wouldn't ask him to stop. But then those honey-coated
muscles contracted, milking his shaft, and her sweet lips parted as she relaxed, bringing
him a little deeper into her. He was lost.

With a feral growl, Kayne's mouth slammed down on Jess's and plundered. He withdrew
almost to the tip before plunging back into her velvety sheath again and again. God,
he knew he was out of control,
knew
he needed to rein himself in so he didn't hurt her, but he couldn't escape the lusty
haze that cocooned them.
Couldn't ignore the way Jess's heels dug into his ass, her nails clawing his back
and shoulders as she sought purchase.
Lifting as he withdrew,
then
impaling herself on each of his upward strokes.

Jesus Christ!
She was as out of control as he was, which turned him on all the more, if that was
even possible.

Again and again she met his thrust and drag, accepted his body’s demands,
sought
her own in return. And when he reached the precipice, when he was sure he couldn't
hold on a second longer, he felt her fall. Kayne threw back his head and roared her
name as he dove over the edge, letting the waves drag them under.

And in that earth shattering moment, he knew he'd never be the same again.