Pulled (42 page)

“I know I did, and I take responsibility for it. But please believe me when I tel you it was never my intention.”

“Mom, you were going to have him
arrested
! How did you think that wouldn’t hurt me? You treated the one person who loved me more than anyone else like a criminal. Why? Because he was ten-months older than me?

What you did was...was cruel. At one point I would have said unforgivable.”

She winced at my words, and I knew it hurt her to hear it, but she needed to understand what she had done.

“I was just trying to protect you...you
and
Daniel,” she said as she searched my face for understanding.

“From what?”

Her voice dipped low with frustration. “Your father.”

Anger flashed hot across my skin with the mention of my dad.

“Do you remember how he acted at the hospital?” She hesitated, as if she didn’t know how much she wanted to say. “How you were scared of him?”

I shook my head as I thought back. “Not for me, but for Daniel.”

“I was scared for Daniel, too. Steve was so angry with him. When I first got to the hospital, he was obviously furious about the whole situation and hurt at being deceived, but not any more than I was. Then when Eva passed.” She paused as if saying her name hurt, and I’m sure the expression on my face reflected the way she felt.

“He just snapped. He was set on making Daniel pay, and he figured the best way to do that would be to take you away from him. I tried to make him understand that it would punish you just as much as it would Daniel, but he wouldn’t listen. He told me to go along with it or he would take care of it himself. I had no idea what that meant. I just thought it would be better to take you home with me and let things cool off.”

She chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head.

“That was where my plan fel to pieces. I thought Daniel would try to get in touch with you, and Steve’s anger would wear off. But Daniel never cal ed, though Steve did, insisting I keep you in Dal as. It was awful.”

“That’s why you tried to stop me when I decided to go back.” It wasn’t a question. That afternoon al became clear to me, the panic on her face and her pleas for me to stay.

“I had no idea what to do, Melanie. You were so determined not to wait another minute. I panicked. The instant you left, I knew I had to do something. I cal ed Steve and told him to leave you alone. I said that I was finished watching you suffer and that you deserved to be happy. He was irate, screaming he would kil Daniel if you went back to him. I don’t know how I gathered up enough courage to do it. I told him if he hurt either of you in any way, I’d spend the rest of my life destroying his, exposing him for who he real y was.”

I shook my head, confused. “What are you talking about?”

She breathed slowly and closed her eyes,

seeming to make a decision before she continued.

“Melanie, I wasn’t honest with you about the reason I divorced your father.” She fidgeted with the handle of her coffee cup, her agitation clear. She final y looked up as she blew out a long breath of air. “I left because he was abusive.”

I gasped with the shock of her confession.

“What?” I knew my father could be harsh, scary even, but I’d never imagined that he could hit my mother.

“It started right after you were born. He had been such a good husband in the beginning. I loved him so much, but then he started drinking.” Sadness clouded her eyes as she swal owed. “At first it was just on weekends when he was out with the guys. It real y didn’t bother me, but then he started coming home angry. At first he’d just yel and scream, picking fights with me over nothing. Then one night he hit me.”

I grimaced, clutching my coffee cup and feeling sick to my stomach.

“He gave me the typical excuse and promised me it would never happen again.” Tears started to fal down her face, and she batted them away. “I thought everything would be fine, but it wasn’t two weeks before it happened again.

That time it was so much worse than the first. I felt so trapped. He threatened that if I left, he would take you away from me, so I stayed.

“Mom,” I cried out with a shaky voice through my own tears.

She shook her head, stopping me. “Please, let me finish. It went on for two years. One night you were sick with a fever.” She pursed her trembling lips, struggling with the words. “You were crying, and I couldn’t do anything to comfort you. Steve came home, drunk again. He flew into a rage when I couldn’t calm you down. He started yel ing at you, screaming to shut up, but you only cried harder.” She shut her eyes as she continued. “He hit you, hard.” I stared at my mother, horrified. How had I never known this?

“I ran to the neighbors and cal ed the police.” She took in a shaky breath. “They arrested him, and while he was gone, I packed up al of our things. We moved in with my parents in Texas. After the divorce, I didn’t hear from him for two years. Then he cal ed and told me he hadn’t had a drink in al that time. He said he’d messed up, that he regretted everything he’d done. He knew it was too late for us. I was already married to Mark and expecting your sister by then. But he was asking for contact with you. At first I’d refused, but he started sending money and notes from his therapist to show proof he’d changed. He never gave up, and when you were five, I started al owing him to come for supervised visits.”

She shook her head in what appeared to be regret for making that decision.

“Then he married Cheryl, and they moved to Dal as to be close to you. You started spending the weekends there and everything seemed so much better.” She grimaced as she looked at me, her face washed in guilt. “When Cheryl left him, he wanted you to move with him to Colorado. I never once considered that he might start drinking again. He had been a near-perfect father to you al those years. It never even crossed my mind until I smel ed it at the hospital when he’d dragged me outside and demanded I take you home with me.” She appeared ashamed as she looked down at her empty coffee cup. “Suddenly, I was right back in that smal house where I’d lived in fear with him, terrified and feeling as though I could do nothing but what he said.” The tears fel harder, and I sniffled, wiping my nose with the back of my hand as my heart broke for my mother. “Al this time I blamed you as much as I blamed him.” I shook my head, stil reeling from her story. “Why now, Mom? Why did you wait al these years to tel me something I should have known al along?” Every emotion she seemed to be holding in burst, and she cried out in desperation. “Because I hated myself. I went through so many years of depression after you left. So much guilt, especial y for not tel ing you Daniel had come to Texas. That’s why I stayed away from you. I didn’t believe I deserved to have a relationship with you after what I’d done. Mark convinced me to get help about a year and a half ago. I went on medication that helped me to think more clearly, but it was the counseling that made the difference.

The day I cal ed, I’d just been to see my therapist. I’d had a breakthrough, and I knew I had to at least try and make things right with you.”

Resting my elbows on the top of the island, I buried my head in my hands, trying to deal with this new past my mother thought she was protecting me from.

Instead, it had become a secret that had stolen the last nine years from both of us, and from Daniel as wel .

I whispered, “You should have told me, al of it.” I looked up, meeting Mom’s bleary eyes. “You shouldn’t have shouldered that alone al these years.”

“I know that now, and that’s why I’m here. I wish I could take it al back, but I can’t. Al I can do now is ask for forgiveness.”

I studied the granite counter as I mourned for the time I’d lost with my mother. My voice was weak when I spoke. “It hurts so much to know that you went through al of that.” I swal owed. “That Dad hurt you that way.” Final y, I looked up and found her weary face.

“Mom, I told you yesterday I thought I’d already forgiven you, and I know now I have. I’m just sorry we lost so many years.” She smiled a watery smile, relieved we’d come to terms. She reached out and grasped my hand. “Melanie, don’t you see that what Nicholas has done to you is no different than what Steve did to me?” She squeezed my hand. “You have to get out of this house.” I tensed as I realized the paral els of our lives, how I’d unassumingly put myself in the same position she had been. I nodded, knowing she was right. I had to get out of here, though I knew I couldn’t hide my fear with the thought of actual y doing it.

I was done.

Her concern was clearly for me, but my safety was the least of my concerns.

I released the blind, al owing it to fal back into place, cutting off the stream of natural sunlight from my office once he had driven away. It was the third time I’d seen him, twice in front of my office and once outside my apartment building the day I moved to the new house, just sitting, watching, waiting. He wasn’t even trying to hide himself. It seemed that just as Melanie had been trying to send him a message, he was sending me one in return.

After what had happened on Thanksgiving,

everything had changed. I’d only seen Melanie four times in the past three weeks, only in those rare moments when we were certain Nicholas was busy, relying on Shane to let us know when it was safe to steal away for a little bit of time.

Melanie insisted that she continue to stay in his house. As hard as she tried to convince me otherwise, I knew it wasn’t about the
plan
anymore. She was scared.

I’d promised to give her the time she needed, but not if giving her that time put her in danger. The whole thing had backfired, and I wasn’t about to stand by while she was forced back into that hopeless life.

Never in a mil ion years would I have thought Peggy would become my al y through al of this. I’d not even known what to say when she’d cal ed and explained everything to me, apologizing for what she’d done. Melanie had freely forgiven her, as if I would ever expect anything less from her. I wanted to have the capacity to do the same, but I stil couldn’t get over how Peggy had let it go on for so many years. She knew we stil loved each other and had seen what Melanie had become, but she’d never done a thing.

Her intentions were never cruel, though, and she wanted Melanie out of that house almost as much as I did.

In fact, she had begged me to get Melanie out of there, so I pushed back the resentment I held for her and asked for her help to do it. I knew that as long as Melanie faced Nicholas’s scrutiny on a daily basis, she would never be able to see how effective he had been at keeping her just where he wanted her.

I needed Melanie to step back and see that if she stayed on this path, she would never be free and nothing would ever change. Nicholas stil had the control, and he always would until she final y walked away. I decided to take her away and make sure she never went back. I looked over the tickets that arrived this morning, one for her and one for me. These two tickets would al ow us almost two weeks of sanctuary. I would spend that time getting Melanie to accept why I could never al ow her to go near Nicholas again.

Another ticket had been delivered directly to Nicholas’s house. Peggy had cal ed him directly and told him she’d purchased a ticket for Melanie to come to their house for Christmas, convincing him Melanie would be spending time between Christmas and New Year’s with them. She insisted Melanie had to be there because Melanie’s little sister, Sarah, would be home from col ege. I didn’t believe Nicholas would care anything about that, but he’d surprisingly relented. Maybe he liked the idea of her being farther away from me.

I sighed in relief when my phone vibrated against my desk. It was our new routine. I would wait for Melanie to cal me so there was no chance that my cal s would occur when Nicholas was around.

My heart sped up just in anticipation of hearing her voice. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi.” I could feel her smile, could picture her curled up on her bed as she squeezed the phone to her ear. “Is it Wednesday yet?”

I chuckled, warmed at her eagerness, never agreeing with a sentiment more. December twenty-third could not come fast enough.

“Two days, baby, and then you’re al mine. Are you al set?”

“Um, I think so. Do I need to pack anything special?”

“Just pack warm, okay?”

“Hmm, I need to dress warm, huh? I guess

Hawaii’s out, then? Should I even try to guess where we’re going?”

“Nope.”

She giggled, sighing through the phone. “I can’t wait. I miss you.” Her voice softened, tinged with a hint of sadness.

I knew she hated what she was putting herself through. She just felt trapped. I wanted to tel her it was al about to end, but I didn’t want her to know my intentions until she was safely with me. “I miss you so much, baby. It’s only two days away.”

“I know...these next two days are going to be very long.”

We both fel silent, hating the distance.

“I love you, Daniel.”

“I love you more than anything. Now go pack some sweaters. You know, it’s supposed to be freezing in Dal as this Christmas.”

She laughed. “Right.”

“I’l see you at eight on Wednesday, okay?”