Pulled (32 page)

“It’s behind us now, baby,” I pul ed back so I could smile down at her. “You won’t ever be alone again.” She nodded, eyes stil glistening, but her demeanor was relaxed as we final y began to focus on what was to come. Her hands went back to tracing patterns on my arms and shoulder, each touch tender and fil ed with affection. “Do you remember when we promised each other whenever something bothered us we’d talk to each other about it?”

I nodded, the memory clear.

“We broke that promise.”

I breathed out slowly through my nose. “I know.” When we’d made it, I thought it would be such as simple promise to keep, a promise to trust and rely on each other. To me, Melanie and I already had that, and it should have been no problem. Yet we’d both let our insecurities negate that oath.

“We can’t ever let that happen again. We have to talk, no matter what.

There would be no need for worry about that.

“I’m not going anywhere. You couldn’t get rid of me now if you tried.” She grinned at my admission, nodding her head in agreement.

Melanie fidgeted for a minute. “How’s Erin?” She flinched as Erin’s name passed through her lips. It had not occurred to me before then that Melanie had missed Erin as much as Erin missed her.

“She’s real y good. She misses you.”

She looked at me skeptical y.

“She loves you, Mel. Believe me when I say you’ve been a sore spot between us al these years.”

“What?”

I sighed, not looking forward to this revelation.

“She had gone to Europe after graduation. She didn’t get back until after I’d gone to Dal as for you, and when she found out what happened, she was set to go and find you, insisting something had to have happened. But I wouldn’t let her. I made her promise to leave you alone and never contact you.”

Melanie recoiled as if she had been slapped.

“Why?”

Why? Because I thought it was a really fucking
bright idea at the time, that I was doing you a favor, that it
would be easier for you that way.

I groaned, once again disgusted with myself. “I thought you’d feel guilty for leaving if Erin confronted you about it. Melanie, baby, I thought you wanted me...us out of your life. You and I both know how Erin is. She would have had you packed and on your way home, even if that wasn’t what you real y wanted. I couldn’t al ow that. I wanted you to live, to be happy, and I thought that meant removing my family from the picture.”

“I thought you al had abandoned me.” Melanie shook her head.

“I’m so sorry, Melanie. I hurt you, al the while thinking I was protecting you.” I drew her close, praying none of the shit we had to hash out would drive a wedge between us.

“Don’t apologize, Daniel. I understand what you were trying to do. I was just so alone. I had lost everybody, everything; you, Eva, Erin.” I flinched at her words, realizing I had no idea how much she had suffered. “Your mom and dad had been like parents to me, and they were just...gone.” She hesitated. “Do you know I haven’t spoken to my father since leaving the hospital nine years ago? And things with my mom, wel , they were never the same. I’ve seen her a handful of times since then, but I just could never completely forgive her for taking you away from me.”
Alone.

I knew how empty I had been, how alone I had felt.

Stil , I’d had my parents who had supported me, made sure I survived each day, and a sister who loved and encouraged me. Without them, I would never have been where I was today. In the beginning, they had kept me sane and breathing, but Melanie—she’d had no one.

“You’l never be alone again.” I could promise her that.

I truly was a little shocked that she didn’t have a relationship with her parents. Yeah, they messed up our lives, no doubt. But they were her parents, and Melanie was always the first to forgive. I just couldn’t fathom that she’d spent al of this time hating them. On the other hand, I would never forget they were the ones who set in motion the chain of events that ultimately took my girl from me.

“You real y haven’t talked to your dad since you left the hospital?”

She pursed her lips, shaking her head. “Nope, not once. I never even knew what he was most angry about—

me getting pregnant or the fact that I hid it from him. Either way, he disowned me. I was hurt at first, but over time, I realized just what a jerk he was. I mean, who would do that?”

I shook my head, at a loss. I was positive it was me he was angry with, not Melanie.

“What about your mom?”

Melanie sighed heavily, tucking the piece of hair that had fal en on her face behind her ear. “I don’t know.

She knew I’d never completely forgiven her. I guess she’s just kept her distance because of it.” She seemed so sad about the whole thing though her mouth twitched up a little at the corner as she spoke. “She cal ed a few weeks ago. I could just tel things were different. She’s coming the week of Thanksgiving. I think we’re going to be okay.” With that, her lips spread into a real smile, and while it would not be so easy for me to forgive Peggy, it was obvious Melanie needed her mom in her life. There’d be no way I’d stand in the way of that.

I rol ed onto my back, pul ing her with me. I reveled in the feel of her naked body pressed against mine as she lay against my chest. My hands slowly caressed her back, her shoulders, her head, relishing the feel of her hair as it fel over her shoulders and onto mine. Loving fingers ran through my hair, traced my jaw, and played across my lips.

Her touch felt so good, perfection across my skin.

She seemed thoughtful as she played with a lock of my hair. Her eyes final y locked with mine and fil ed with some unknown emotion. “You’re going to be a father.” I stiffened under her. I rol ed away, sitting up on the side of the bed. Thinking of Vanessa’s baby made it hard to breathe. Melanie crawled up behind me, wrapping us up like a cocoon with the sheet. She leaned into me, holding me tight. “Daniel...what’s wrong?” Her touch calmed me. I roughly ran my hand over my face and through my hair.

“I...I...” I looked away, unable to face her, but unwil ing to lie. “I don’t want him.” I knew that statement was wrong in so many different ways. And honestly, I was terrified of Melanie’s reaction to him.

Melanie remained silent as she continued to soothe me, never faltering in the rhythmic movements she made on my shoulders and neck. With her mouth close to my ear, she spoke quietly. “You don’t want him? Do you want to talk about it?”

Did I? Not real y, but I couldn’t hide from it much longer. In three months, I would have a son whether I liked it or not.

I turned to her. My lips were tight as I studied Melanie’s face, looking for any indication of how she felt about the fact that I was going to be a father. Al I found was concern for me. “I messed up. I was careless and stupid, and now there’s a child who’s going to suffer because of a mistake I made.”

“Why do you think he’l suffer?” Her voice was soft, confused.

And this was where I failed.

“Because I can’t love him.”

Her hand stil ed for a brief moment before resuming its calming reassurance, the slight shaking in her fingertips my only clue she was disappointed in me, just as she should be.

“Daniel, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you—whatever you need.” Okay, not disappointed, just understanding, and sympathetic.

I was afraid to voice the words. What if this was al too much for her? Could I ask her to deal with al of my baggage?

“I’m going to have joint custody,” I looked at her, hoping she’d understand what this would mean.

Her mouth hung open, gaping. “I don’t understand.

I thought you didn’t want him?”

I exhaled heavily, wishing I knew the answer to that question. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I told Vanessa that’s what I wanted. I’m not sure if it was out of spite or obligation.” I cringed as the words came out my mouth, appal ed at my admission, but I couldn’t be anything other than straightforward with Melanie. “I guess probably a bit of both.”

I was positive it weighed a little heavier on the spite side, demanding that control, doing anything to take some of it from Vanessa. She had been completely up my ass lately, texting and cal ing continuously, trying to get me involved in the pregnancy and, no doubt, with her. I’d almost recanted my claim to the child and offered just to cut her a check. But paying her off would give her control and would do nothing to stop her from hounding me in the future. I refused to al ow that to happen.

I waited, giving Melanie the opportunity to digest al of this information. I grew restless when she said nothing. Final y unable to take her silence any longer, I pleaded, “Please…say something. Tel me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking that I love you, and anything you have to deal with, I have to deal with. She uttered the words without hesitation, freely.

I turned and pul ed her to me, tugging her onto my lap. My arms wrapped around her to hold her close, cuddling her and rocking her like a child.

“Thank you.” It was al I could say.

I glanced at the little clock on the nightstand. It was already past two. We’d been in this bed for almost four hours.

“Come on, let’s get your stuff.” Gauging what little I knew about her marriage, I was betting that Melanie had very few possessions of her own. What we couldn’t fit in the car, we’d just replace.

Her head jerked back to meet my face, her brows drawn as she scrambled to sit up. “I can’t leave yet.” What? After everything we’d just shared and promised each other, how can she say,
“I can’t leave yet?”

“Not a chance.” The thought of leaving her here with Nicholas—I didn’t even try to hide my disgust. “I wil not share you with that asshole.”

“Stop. Listen to me,” she pleaded, gripping my shoulders. “You’l never share me. I’m yours. If you look around,” she said, gesturing around the room with her hand,

“you’l see that this is where I sleep. I haven’t shared his bed since the night of the dinner. I knew then I was yours, even if I couldn’t have you. I realized then I could never again give myself to anyone else, especial y Nicholas.” I relaxed a little, not because I was conceding but because of the relief from knowing that Melanie hadn’t been sleeping with him.

“This isn’t just about us, Daniel. What about your building?” She looked at me pointedly, as if somehow that could be more important than she was.

“I couldn’t care less about the building, Melanie. It means nothing.”

“Maybe not to you, but what about Shane and Katie? They’re the only family I’ve had this whole time. I love them, and I owe them this for everything they’ve done for me. I honestly don’t know whether I would stil exist if Katie hadn’t been there for me, and I just can’t do something that would jeopardize Shane’s freedom.”

“What are you talking about?”

Melanie looked at me and shrugged. “Shane hates Nicholas almost as much as I do. With the profit from the building, he’s planning to break off from Nicholas and start his own company. He needs this. We have to at least talk to him and figure out how to do this without putting the deal in jeopardy.”

It was so frustrating—Melanie always thinking about everyone except herself. I didn’t see how Melanie leaving Nicholas would affect the building. I had a signed contract. Nicholas had to stick to it, didn’t he? Honestly, I hadn’t even looked at the contract when I had signed it, so I had no idea.

Okay, so maybe I needed to talk to Shane—and my lawyer.

Melanie’s hands were back on my face, forcing me to look at her. “And my mom, I need try to work things out with her, to know her again. I miss her.” She looked away deep in thought before darting her eyes back to mine.

“I’m not ashamed of us, but I think she and I have to resolve the past before I tel her you and I are back together.” I groaned with frustration, but I knew Melanie was right. Stil , I couldn’t imagine walking out that door without her.

“If you think I want to stay here, you’re wrong.

There’s no other place I want to be than with you. But we have to think this through and make sure we don’t hurt anyone, including ourselves, in the process.” I realized her decision was resolute, and it was hard to argue with it when she clearly was right. Knowing it was right, though, didn’t make it any easier.

“It absolutely kil s me to leave you here.” She held me closer, exhaling softly, knowing I’d surrendered.

I knew a little part of her wished I’d refuse and throw her over my shoulder and carry her out the door.

“I know,” she agreed, “but we have to.”

She turned and pul ed me down on the bed

beside her, her face at peace as she smiled at me. Even though it had been hard revisiting al of our issues, we had come to the place where our questions were answered, and we were confident about our future.

Our future.

Melanie kissed me solidly on the mouth, humming in contentment as she snuggled in close to my side.

“Besides, was this afternoon so bad?”

I grinned back at her, nuzzling the soft skin of her neck. “No, no, not bad at al ,” I agreed as my hands began to roam her body.

The mood was light as we shared sweet kisses, gentle caresses, and intimate promises. I came to her for the second time that day with the desperation of our broken hearts gone, replaced with the security of what would be.