Princess Ces'alena (49 page)

Early the next morning, before most of the house awakened, Lena was there in the kitchen making preparations for the day’s three meals, starting with breakfast. Knowing her routine by now, Margaret rose early so she could talk to Lena alone. Having slept very little the previous night, rising early was a small price to pay in order to get something resolved before returning home.

“Good morning Lena.” She greeted softly.

Lena jumped not expecting anyone to be up so early; she’d been standing at the work table crying. Quickly she turned her back, blew her nose and wiped her eyes in an effort to hide her despair. Turning back only slightly, attempting to keep her face averted she returned the greeting very softly.

“Good morning, Ms Margaret…I didn’t know anyone would be up now. I will start water for your tea right away.”

“Thank you.” She stood gazing at the young woman, her heart going out to her.

Lena nodded and grabbed the kettle, wasting not a moment to serve her; yet even so, Margaret remained. Lena wondered why she hadn’t left the kitchen yet. Katherine’s mother made her nervous, though she never gave her reason to be. Just the ties between them, mother and daughter - the daughter being capable of taking her son from her, made her cautious and wary of the mother. She was filling the kettle when Margaret asked calm and straight forward. “Why did you and Manny quarrel last eve? I saw the two of you. I don’t understand, and why the tears now?”

Lena froze, caught off guard. Slowly she regained some composure, picked up the full kettle and walked to the hearth, hanging it on the hook and swinging it over the fire; nervous with tension she stood turning to face the older woman, wiping her sweaty palms down her skirt. With wide eyes she stared unable to speak.

“Many have their opinions concerning you and Manny. I’d just as soon hear the truth from you. Are you in love with him?”

Swallowing her fear - Lena stepped over to the work table leaning there for support. Facing Margaret, with such a direct question, played havoc with her heart and stomach, she could not speak, and so, quietly stared.

“You can talk to me, trust me – it is alright.” Margaret assured her.

“I have - duties - to tend to…I -…”

“I know - my being Katherine’s mother is frightening to you. But you have nothing to fear from me. I have never been one to condone slavery…and do not at all feel, that because you are from another world, of a different color, that, somehow makes you inferior to me. Please, spare me but a bit of your time…I wish to know you better. I need to understand what’s happening here…the truth of it. Please…sit with me?”

She asked walking to the table behind the door to take a seat, and pulling out the one next to her for Lena to take. “Please…I won’t keep you long. I promise.”

At first hesitating, Lena finally moved to the seat adjacent to Margaret. Now that she had Lena’s attention, she explained, “I couldn’t sleep last night; I was strolling the grounds when I saw the two of you.”

Still Lena stared not willing to volunteer anything to make this easy for Margaret…who released a deep sigh, not sure how to reach the young woman before her. “Well, I promised not to take long, so I will start by saying to you, the same that I said to Manny last eve. I am deeply disturbed, and sorry that my daughter did such a thing as sell your child. It was a horrible — horrible thing to do.”

Lena looked down at her folded hands to hide her gathering tears. “Ms Margaret…it doesn’t matter how sorry you are. My son is gone from me. To keep my sanity…I try not to think of what he may be going through. As for my master, what may have been between us in the past… just that …in the past.”

Margaret observed her speech, her gestures, the way she sat, and could not help but think,
‘My goodness what a beautiful woman she is. Those eyes, her graceful carriage, and the care to her person…no wonder Manny’s so taken with her. How could any man in her presence for a time ignore someone so regal?’
Margaret also noted her ethereal mannerisms and gentleness. She seemed to float into a room as if a ghost — fearful of being seen. Quick and silent about her task, then she’d slip from the room again. Margaret was at one with the many others who noticed the difference in Lena from the other slaves. Her grammar was of one who’d been educated, with a touch of an accent. Margaret found herself curiously intrigued by Ceś alena and wish she could know her better. Due to the circumstances, it seemed that would be impossible.

“That is not what I saw last night. Though you argued, true… the feelings between Manny and you are still there, and strong. At least on your part - that was further proven by your tears this morning. I’m not here to cause you more pain Lena…at the same time however, I wish for my daughter to experience no more pain; which is why I ask what I do. She believes she has a chance to win her husband back.”

“I know however, that his heart had not been free to give from the very beginning. And because of her actions, his heart is even further removed from her.”

Lena sat quietly listening. Still unwilling to offer anything more than what she had. The two women exchanged looks of silence…Margaret sighed, briefly looking away. “Her pride is strong Lena. She has been backed into a corner because she’s been warned that it would never work. Katherine — in all of her — naiveté can’t imagine a white man… in love with anyone save his own kind. This is another reason she won’t let go. I know better. You see, my oldest brother on one of his many travels abroad fell in love with a young Ethiopian woman. He was disinherited due to his refusal to return to polite society and take his rightful place among us -(she sighed again, shaking her head)- anyway… he has never returned. He stayed with her you see. My entire family, including Helene my sister, was very much ashamed of him. He and I, however… we were very close. I love my brother very much, and nothing will ever change that. So - I know…I know the truth of it. Many letters have come to me from him, expressing his feelings for her, their life together. He is happy there, with her – he sees no reason to return. From that, this is not new to me.”

Margaret paused a moment lost in thought, and still Lena listened.

“Katherine is ashamed.” She started again. “She must face, that a slave… holds her husbands heart. This she refuses to see…or…just denies all. I guess…I’m telling you this…because I don’t want my daughter hated. It hurts me, to see her in such a predicament. It hurts me that your son was sacrificed in her revenge. I find this all - stressful. I know you don’t care… but she is hurting too. And I need to know… is it really over between the two of you? She believes you have betrayed him… is this really so? Because if it is not so, she will be destroyed once again — and -…”

“It is over. I have been with another, and he will never forgive me. Given time, perhaps…she will - will win his heart.” Swallowing back her own anguish, Lena rose with nothing else to say. Margaret still was not satisfied…but there was nothing more for her to say either … despite what Lena now claimed. Margaret saw them - standing out of sight of them, she had witnessed first hand the power of what existed between them.

‘
No…you are wrong Lena. It is not over… I don’t think it will ever be over.’

* * *

Manny lay sprawled across his bed with his eyes half open, as he debated on whether he should continue to close them, or get up.

His arm lay over his forehead as he listened to the activity going on outside of his door. It was well past noon, and he’d just begun to stir after coming back home right before dawn. Going straight to his room to collapse from too much drink. Never had he felt so disgusted with himself. His failure to perform after months of celibacy brought him more anger and shame. No matter what the woman did to him, he could not rise to the occasion. He had closed his eyes trying to envision a fantasy to stir him, but the image that formed in his mind, was heated golden eyes, and caramel brown skin. Angry at her intrusion, he opened his eyes - looked into the eyes of the one present and lost his stirrings. She’d done this to him!
‘Damn you to hell! What have you done to me!?’
He had been so highly strung when he left her, only to arrive at his destination and fail in shame.

He lay now in bed, deciding to go back to sleep. His few hours had not been enough. But then a panting cry sounded in his head…a vision of soft brown skin glistening with sweat, the fragrant essence of her filled his sense of smell, and a firm body, yet warm and pliable…“Bleeding hell!!” Manny spat loudly as he catapulted into a sitting position. Looking down his naked body; there protruding, rigid and ready, an erection that pulsed heavy and hard. “You dirty bastard. You would rise to the occasion now…with no warm body for the using. Where the hell were you when I needed you last night… hell!”
‘A woman paws and strokes me all night…and nothing. Yet the mere thought of you…’
Manny leaned forward, holding his head. “You will not best me, Ceś alena Huebana…you will not!”

He rose from his bed, washed, shaved and dressed for the day. When he came out of his room, he saw Lena leaving a room down the hall, and his heart squeezed at the sight of her. She hadn’t seen him for her back was to him by the time he made his exit.

She had a bundle of sheets in her arms, tucking them under one…then pulled a handkerchief from her pocket to wipe her eyes, and blow her nose. Shoving it back in… she carried on. Manny stood hating himself that he should care; hating that he wanted to draw her to him and wipe her tears away. “You did this yourself… you did this.” He voiced heatedly. His mind however instantly reminded him that he was the one who married another. He was the one who freed her to love another. All that happened now, happened based on the decisions he made. Feeling his face flame from the startling truths that would not leave him in peace, he avoided all and went straight to his study. Ferrus was the only one to see him, thereby requesting that he be brought coffee and whatever was edible to consume now. As Ferrus went to do so, Manny began pouring over the books and ledgers, having missed going out in the fields with Jordan - by oversleeping.

A moment later, the door opened with Morris entering carrying a tray of food and the coffee his son wanted. He hadn’t known until this morning, meeting with Margaret over breakfast that Manny had returned. Anxious to greet his son, he relieved Ferrus of the task and delivered the meal.

Manny looked up with a sigh, and then returned to what he was doing. Morris sat the tray on the desk in reach of him, feeling hesitant and nervous, he spoke up saying. “I didn’t know you returned son.” He took the seat across from Manny. “I know.” Manny muttered in a clipped response, continuing his figuring. Morris didn’t know what to say next, he wanted to start a conversation, but he wasn’t about to ask about the boy. It was more than obvious what the results of the search were. As time had gone by, Morris felt more and more reproach for not stopping the sell. Everyday it seemed, images of the boy assailed his mind. From the time he was born; when he’d been crawling under foot, and yelled for Lena to come get the child - as he’d been about to get into something. He remembered standing aside watching as the boy had taken his first steps to Manny. Three steps…he had taken three. He remembered three because he’d been counting. Of course he would never admit that to anyone. Manny had scooped him up laughing and praising him as a proud father.

Morris also remembered shaking his head, telling Manny to get him back outside…as if he’d been a dog from the yard that had gotten into the house. He remembered the discouraged look of pain on his son’s face as he held the boy, then turning…he passed him to his mother. She’d carried the boy out as he babbled in his baby chatter…the sound of which carried to his ears.

Almost everywhere Morris went around the plantation, he saw the boy in his various stages of growth. Everything about the boy…said loud and clear, where and with whom he belonged…yet he’d rejected him, because of his mother. A woman who, had she been the right shade, would have brought him nothing but pride and honor. Yet…bringing a heaviness to his heart - he knew that his wife, Royal Sun…would have loved her, accepted her - and would have thumbed her nose at the society that condemned Lena simply because her skin was not fair, her eyes were not blue, green or hazel, and her nose was not straight and fine boned.

As for the boy, the child…their…grandson…she would have praised, loved, embraced, and coddled him…protecting him with her very life. As he should have done, and living with that fact, was becoming his own self made hell.

“Is there something I can do for you?” Manny asked not looking up from his scribbling.

“You been gone so long, I just thought to visit with you a while.” Morris returned. “I see you goin’ over the books. They in pretty bad shape I guess… you know, I’m not one for that sort of thing. Royal did most of that, and then you before you left for school and after…I never did have the patience for it.” He went on trying to lighten the mood and break the ice. “That’s why I need you here son…to take care of things like that.”

“There are receipts missing. Were the regular supplies we usually purchase made while I was gone?” Manny asked disregarding his father’s words. “Yeah Manny, we did…that new overseer and Jordan went into town and picked up what you always did.”

“Well, nothing has been entered into the books reflecting anything since I’ve been gone.”

“Wasn’t no body here to do it son. You was gone.”

“I know…you’ll have to forgive me for that…I was out searching for my son! The one you swore to protect – remember? The agreement? Doing my part of it, lost me the very thing you used to make me do it! So – I guess you’ll have to – forgive me.” Manny shot heatedly.

Morris swallowed feeling the jab cut deep. Silence followed until Morris spoke up once again. “I put everything in the drawer on your bottom right…should all be there.”

Manny leaned to the right and pulled out the drawer, grabbing a stack of papers that had been tossed in haphazardly. “From now on place all receipts and tallies, purchases and sells in the book where they can be entered.”