Phoenix (18 page)

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Brea explained and broke it all down for him.

“Are you going to be paying it all up-front or in

payments?” she asked, sounding like she was slightly

distracted by writing something down.

“Well, kind of both, really,” Blake replied, scratching the

back of his head absently. “I’ve got about nine thousand

saved up, but the procedure’s almost eleven so I want to pay

the nine and then do a payment plan for the other two, if

that’s okay?”

“I think we could work something out,” the secretary

said, a warmth in her tone that Blake liked. It’d been one of

the things that had sold him on the other man for the

surgery.

“Awesome, thanks,” Blake said, smiling as he hung up

with the secretary. He settled back on the bed and spread his

arms as Ethan moved to lay against him. If it were anyone

else, he would have balked right away, pushed them away

and covered himself, but since it was Ethan, all he did was

relax against the bed with a heavy sigh.

“I’m excited for you, baby,” Ethan said, fingers trailing

the expanse of Blake’s stomach and resting against his ribs.

Blake just smiled and ran his hand absently through Ethan’s

dark black hair, loving the soft feel of it between his fingers.

“Thanks, babe. I’m excited, too,” Blake said with a soft

smile, tilting his head down. Ethan lifted his head and met

him halfway, sealing their lips together in a gentle kiss that

lit a foreign but addictive fire over Blake’s body.

His entire body went lax under the sensations and he

wrapped one arm tighter around Ethan’s shoulders as he

turned onto his side, sliding his hand into Blake’s hair. He

leaned forward desperately into the kiss that was slowly

heating up and making his head spin with a desire. Blake’s

hand slid down Ethan’s side gently, feeling the contours of

his body under his fingertips as he pressed hard into the

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kiss, his breath caught in his throat, beating hard against his

chest to be released. Ethan’s cool, sweet tongue delved into

his mouth, and he let out a low moan, meeting him halfway.

They’d n ever kissed quite like this before, and it was

making his entire body tingle with intense excitement.

Ethan’s body shivered under his touch and he moved to

lie on his back. His fingers threaded into his hair, keeping

their lips firmly together as they slid, tongues flitting in and

out of each other’s mouths in an erotic tangle.

Blake’s hand slid under Ethan’s shirt, and he let out

another soft moan as he felt Ethan’s body undulate under his

touch, his breath leaving him in a burst. He felt it skitter

along his cheeks, and it lit another fire under his skin as he

moved his mouth from Ethan’s. He kissed along his jaw to

his neck, placing wet kisses along the graceful curve of his

throat.

“Blake…” Ethan’s voice was breathless, completely in the

moment. He let out a soft groan in response, kissing along

his neck and nipping gently at the hollow of his throat. He

couldn’t help but think of how much he
loved
hearing his

name on Ethan’s lips. Especially sounding like
that
. “Fuck,

that feels so good.”

“Yeah?” Blake breathed, licking along the arch of his

collarbone, hearing Ethan hiss in pleasure beneath him.

“Fuck yeah,” Ethan moaned, hips shifting against the bed

and fingers growing tighter in his hair. Blake arched up into

his hands and shivered, feeling the heat trace down his

spine. The heat blossomed and made an ache start deep in

his stomach—something he’d never felt before. Whatever he

wanted, his body wanted it
badly.

When Ethan arched his hips up again, Blake couldn’t stop

himself from moving his hand down, touching along his

hipbones. When Ethan moaned, Blake dipped his hand

down further, fascinated and turned on as he finally touched

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Ethan.

His boyfriend moaned and kicked his head back, hips

bucking a little up into the touch. His fingers constricted

around Blake’s hair and made him buckle under the

pleasure as his breath left him in a rush. “God, you’re

beautiful,” he murmured as he started stroking Ethan

slowly.

“So are you,” Ethan whispered, body shuddering and

rocking up into Blake’s hand as he started going faster

experimentally. The sound Ethan was making got louder

until he was rocking and shuddering hard, head tucked into

Blake’s neck to stifle the sounds.

Blake was focused, but his mind wondered what it’d feel

like if he slid his hand under his jeans and stroked the soft

skin. Before he could think differently, he popped the button

on Ethan’s jeans and slid in. He hesitated when Ethan

hissed, but the way he bucked into the expanse of his palm

encouraged him to keep going.

“Don’t stop,” Ethan murmured, fingers stroking his hair

almost desperately. Blake nodded and slowly gathered him

into his hand, stroking the hard shaft gently, shuddering at

the loud, guttural moaned curse that Ethan let out.

Blake built up a steady rhythm, gaining speed until Ethan

was panting and undulating beneath him, gripping at his

shoulder and his hair hard. He could feel Ethan’s body

shuddering like it was close to release, but that was when

Ethan turned the tables.

Blake felt Ethan’s hand on his hip, moving down to his

groin, and despite the flash-in-the-pan flicker of fear, he felt

a sensual heat drown out that cold feeling with a startling

rush. He moaned and his hips arced up into it. He felt

Ethan’s hand caressing him, and his entire body shuddered,

the friction more intense than he expected.

As Ethan started to move on him, Blake started stroking

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him faster, which made Ethan’s grip go lax for a moment.

Blake dipped his head down and kissed Ethan firmly,

palming him hard and picking up his rhythm. Ethan

moaned helplessly into his mouth and then threw his head

back, tackled by the pleasure Blake had brought him.

Blake opened his eyes and looked down at his lover, the

way his pale cheeks flushed and his brows were furrowed,

eyes shut in bliss—it was fucking beautiful, something he

would never forget or get used to seeing.

Ethan slumped against him, hand still on his groin, and

murmured something incomprehensible. It made Blake’s

chest want to explode from all the love and affection he was

feeling toward his lover right now. Blake smiled and kissed

along his brow, murmuring, “Did I wear you out, baby?”

“Maybe,” Ethan murmured in a coy tone, tilting his head

up and kissing Blake firmly, tiredness almost like a taste in

his kiss, one that he could definitely get used to. Blake

smiled into it and kissed him back languidly, taking his time

and admiring how their lips fit together like lock and key.

The thought left his head like it had an eviction notice

when Ethan started stroking him again.

He moaned in surprise and opened himself up, the

friction like pure heat coursing through his veins. His jaw

dropped and his entire body shuddered, the movement of

Ethan’s hand against him capturing him in a pit of ecstasy

that was intoxicating and unfamiliar. He’d never felt

anything like what Ethan was doing to him.

“Fuck,” Blake cursed as Ethan ran his palm up the shaft of

his cock, fingers digging hard into his shoulders. “You don’t

have to,” he protested breathlessly. A sudden shock of

disgust filled him, and he wanted to squirm away for a split

second. The thought was like lightning on the horizon,

though, and quickly left his thoughts the more Ethan

touched him without recoiling.

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“I want to,” Ethan murmured, voice gentle but hot as he

kept stroking his packer through his jeans. The friction was

enough to drive him crazy, not to mention way over the

edge, in a manner of seconds.

He felt the ecstasy thread through him and the muscles in

his thighs tensed and clenched as the orgasm built up inside

his stomach, a coiled spring waiting to unleash. He threw his

head back and let out a loud moan as he let it overtake him,

slave to the shaking bliss as he bucked up into Ethan’s hand.

His body was still shaking once he came back down, and

he tucked his face against Ethan’s, breathing hard against his

neck. It felt like he was about to shake apart from the

pleasure and bliss that still kept his body hot and

shuddering. Nothing had felt that good—ever. He hadn’t

had much experience, but he felt like that was the first

orgasm he’d ever had. And he was perfectly content with

that idea.

“You’re shaking like a leaf, babe,” Ethan murmured,

fondness thick in his voice, threading his fingers through

Blake’s hair again. The sensation calmed the shivering a

little, but his entire body still felt like it was about to come

apart at the seams. Despite that, it wasn’t a bad feeling at all.

In fact, it was one he was enjoying very much.

Blake let out a breathless laugh and murmured sleepily,

“Of course. That felt fucking amazing.” He went quiet for a

moment before adding, “You really didn’t have to, Ethan.”

He felt Ethan’s smile against his hair as he spoke softly,

“But I wanted to. You should feel the way you made me

feel.”

Blake smiled and wrapped his arms around Ethan’s ribs,

hugging him as tightly as he could. “I am so fucking lucky to

be with you,” he murmured, overwhelmed with how

fucking lucky he really was.

“Well, thank you, but I say I’m lucky to have you,” Ethan

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spoke, hugging him back just as tightly before letting out a

giddy laugh as Blake squeezed him a little too tight. “I love

you, Blake. Have for a
long
time. It was kinda crazy there at

the end, and I was so afraid that you didn’t feel the same.”

Blake smiled and turned his head, sealing his lips with

Ethan’s for a second before whispering, “I love you, too, so

much and…I know. I was just afraid to get close to anyone

because of…well, because of my trans status and all that. But

you already knew and you like me anyway, so that made it

easier to not be afraid.”

“Wait wait wait. You knew about how I felt about you?”

Ethan asked, drawing back and looking at Blake with a

confused look. His bright eyes were wide in his handsome

face, the faint flush still lingering in his cheeks from the

pleasure, and probably because of what Blake had just told

him. “What gave me away?”

“Well, I didn’t really know. My mom told me that you

probably had feelings for me,” Blake said with a nervous

chuckle. He wasn’t sure quite
why
he was nervous, but the

confused look had gotten him a little on-edge. Hadn’t Ethan

wanted
him to know? “I didn’t want to believe her at first,

but after talking to her about it I knew. And it took me a bit

to get my head out of my ass and figure out that I felt the

same for you.”

Ethan’s face broke into a wide smile and he let out a

laugh. The tension eased out of his system. “Seriously, that

woman knows everything, doesn’t she?” he mused.

“Seems that way,” Blake laughed, kissing Ethan again,

and again, and again. He pulled back after the fifth or sixth

kiss and laughed. He felt like he was walking on clouds, and

he felt like he could do back flips without even trying to

keep his balance. “Damn, I can never stop kissing you.”

Ethan gave an indulgent smile and kissed him again.

“Neither can I,” he murmured between another quick

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succession of pecks that turned into firmer kisses that left

them both breathless and smiling, faces flushed.

This was happiness. Pure, unadulterated bliss that no one

could break or change, no matter what the circumstances.

Ethan was here, to stay, and there was nothing that would

push them apart. Blake felt like nothing could touch him and

for once, he felt comfortable in his skin. He felt on the

outside what he felt on the inside, like suddenly there was a