Phoenix (17 page)

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Joey James Hook

dreaded and hoped that it was the one person he did and

did not want to see.

He pulled the door open dazedly, but his stomach turned

both cold and hot with butterflies as he saw Devon standing

outside his doorway, staring at him with his brows

furrowed. His bright eyes were unreadable, which made

Riley a little uneasy. He wasn’t sure if Devon was still angry

at him. It was such a dumb thing to be angry about though.

He was just being a good friend, right?

“Hey,” Devon said, his voice submissive and sheepish,

and Riley quirked an eyebrow, but not for long because it

hurt his head.

“Hi. What’s up?” he asked, and suddenly it felt so

awkward to be playing nice with what had just happened

between them.

“Not much…” Devon trailed off. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Riley said and stepped aside to let Devon into his

dorm, watching him step inside and fidget with his shirt

before he turned back to Riley, eyes reproachful. “C’mere,”

Riley said, and pulled him close, wrapping him up in a tight

hug. Devon gripped him hard before pulling back. His eyes

glimmered with apology.

Devon took a deep, dramatic breath before speaking.

“Hey look, I’m…I’m sorry about earlier. It was so out of line

and I should trust you. It’s not fair that I questioned it just

because I’m an insecure jackass.”

“Yeah. It’s okay,” Riley said, rubbing the back of his head

and ignoring the flares of pain that came with it. He’d been

hit in the head one too many times to let it deter him this

time. “And you’re not a jackass, stop it.”

“No, it’s not okay,” Devon sighed, scratching at his jaw

line anxiously. “I have some…well, serious trust issues.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Riley said with a chuckle, eyebrows

raising as Devon shot him a look. Idly he wondered why

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Devon could dish out the joking tone when he was being

serious, but he couldn’t take it when Riley did it to him.

“What? It’s obvious, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve kinda got them,

too. Everyone does.”

“I know, but…mine’s worse. And I have serious jealousy

issues. And minor anger issues. And…hell, I’ve just got

issues,” Devon said with a laugh, dropping his hand and

shoving it in his pocket.

Riley took a deep breath, processing the words and

marshaling up his thoughts. “Well, I’m just gonna tell you

now that I don’t do well with relationship fights. So, uh, if

you plan on picking fights with me like that, I can’t do this,”

he admitted. “I just… can’t.”

Riley saw a flash of fear in Devon’s eyes, and he frowned.

Devon’s eyes flickered left and right before he took a breath.

“Well…I’m gonna work on it, okay? I promise. ‘Cause I can’t

lose you,” he said. Riley smiled a bit and reached out,

pulling Devon into his arms.

“Dev, I’ll always be here for you no matter what. M’not

going anywhere,” he said, hugging him tightly and relaxing

a bit as he felt Devon hug him back desperately as he

nodded quickly. He reached down and tilted Devon’s head

up so that their eyes met, and he gave a small, dimpled smile

before pulling him in for a gentle kiss, thumb brushing his

jaw tenderly.

Devon melted against him and gripped his shirt, kissing

him fervently as he slid one hand into his hair, keeping their

lips firmly together. Riley couldn’t get a breath in but he

really didn’t care. He felt like he was drowning, but he

didn’t want to stop.

Once their lips finally parted, Devon panted hard against

his lips, gripping onto Riley with all his might, and he

whispered a prelude with the three magic words, “I know

this is crazy and I know it’s so fast, but God, I love you,

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Joey James Hook

Riles. So fucking much.”

Riley felt this surge of warmth engulf his chest at the

sound of the words, loving the sound. He let out a low

chuckle of content and brushed their lips together, kissing

him briefly again before murmuring, “Love you, too, Dev.”

They laid down on Riley’s bed after a few minutes of slow

kissing, Devon curling up close to him and resting his head

on his chest, looking up at him dolefully. “Honestly, I’m

really sorry,” he said in a soft voice, sounding worried. “I’m

sorry about the fight and these.” Devon grabbed onto Riley’s

hand and kissed each knuckle.

Riley laughed and, pulling his hand back from the kisses,

pressed two fingers under Devon’s chin, tilting his face up

so he could kiss him again. “I promise, it’s okay,” he

murmured against his lips. “I get jealousy and I get tempers.

It’s all good.”

Devon took a deep breath and nodded, nuzzling their lips

together and pulling his body closer to Riley’s, almost as if

trying to seep the strength from him and drawing it into

himself. Riley smiled and shut his eyes, running his fingers

through Devon’s hair, feeling contentment settle over them

with a soft sigh despite the bruising and the pain in his

hand. That didn’t matter to him right now.

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Phoenix

lake was nervous. He wasn’t sure how much of his

B school loan he’d used on housing, classes and his HRT,

but he hoped he had at least couple hundred left over to put

into his surgery fund. He and Ethan had been building it up

slowly for years, and they had about eight thousand in the

account. He just needed one or two more so he could start

making appointments. He’d already submitted his

paperwork to have his name changed when he got his loan

payment for school, but he hadn’t heard anything back since

he filed it. He’d go down to the courthouse on Friday and

check on it.

It had occurred to him that he could have easily done a

payment plan, but his pride swayed him, and he wanted to

be able to pay for the whole thing outright. Then again, with

the humiliation Dominic dealt him, he was desperate to start

the arrangements for his surgery so if someone decided to

take his shirt off again, there wouldn’t be anything
to
stare

at.

He pulled up his bank account and sighed in relief as he

saw that the balance was an even nine thousand dollars,

which wasn’t bad at all.

“Hey, not bad, babe,” Ethan said from behind him,

putting his hands on his shoulders and squeezing

affectionately. Blake smiled and lifted his head, just in time

to seal his lips with Ethan’s in a natural movement. “When

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Joey James Hook

do you think we can get this started, hmm?”

“As soon as fuckin’ possible,” Blake said with a soft

laugh. “I don’t want other people following Wiseass

Mercante’s example and trying to see for themselves

whether I’m actually a freak or not.”

“Aw, baby,” Ethan said with a frown, smoothing Blake’s

hair back from his forehead. “So do you wanna do a

payment plan after we give them this amount or keep

waiting until we have all of it?”

“I want to set up an appointment now. I want this done

and these infernal things gone as soon as possible,” Blake

said, hatred coloring his tone as his hands moved up his

stomach to his chest. Ethan, like he knew exactly what he

was thinking and what he wanted to do, made a soft sound

in the back of his throat and grasped onto his hands by his

wrists, pulling them up and kissing one, then the other. It

eased the constricted feeling in his chest a little bit.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. We’ll get this taken care of,

okay?” Ethan said, his voice lulling. Blake took a deep

breath, pushing back the anger welling in his chest, instead

lacing his fingers with Ethan’s.

“Okay,” he murmured, shutting his eyes and just

breathing for a moment, beating back the dysphoria and the

disgust he felt for his body. The even breathing came easy

for him when he felt Ethan’s thumbs brushing the arches of

his hands in time with his breath.

“You want me to call the doctor?” Ethan asked, and Blake

shook his head.

“No, no, I’ll do it,” he said, looking up at Ethan and

seeing the pride in his eyes. He smiled a bit. “I need to do it,

y’know? It’s, like, a rite of passage or whatever.”

“Proud of you, babe,” Ethan said, leaning in and kissing

him tenderly for a moment before pulling back, running his

fingers along his jaw.

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Phoenix

“Thanks, baby,” Blake said, turning his head and kissing

along Ethan’s fingers as they stroked his lips. His voice was

soft and reverent as he continued, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Ethan replied with a bright, unfettered

smile that he only gave him. In that moment Blake felt peace.

Everything truly was going to be okay.

Ethan held Blake’s cell phone out to him with a smile.

“Why don’t you call them now, get something set in stone?”

he suggested, sitting down beside him on the bed.

Blake put his laptop aside and closed the lid, shifting so

he was leaning against Ethan as he took the phone, scrolling

through his contacts before he pulled up the doctor’s

number. “That’s a good idea, huh?” he said.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Ethan said

bracingly, hand resting against his shoulder blade. “But I

think you should.” Blake nodded gently, agreeing that he

definitely should get this done.

They lapsed into comfortable silence as Blake had his cell

phone in his hand, and he was staring at the number.

Normally he didn’t have much of a problem with talking on

the phone, at least not since his voice dropped and he

sounded like a normal guy in the phone, but he felt the

nerves choking him. This was such a big step for him right

now. He wished they’d stop, though. He hadn’t felt this kind

of panic in a while, not since his voice changed.

Ethan was sitting beside him, fingers locked tightly with

his own, and Blake turned his head and smiled at him,

gripping his hand firmly before he took a deep breath and

hit the call button. Nerves exploded in his stomach, but he

barely held himself together.

He felt like he was about to throw up, but he managed to

breathe through it as the phone line was picked up. “Dr. La

Brea’s office, how may I help you?” a secretary answered the

phone, her voice high and soft and completely the opposite

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Joey James Hook

of what Blake sounded like. For some reason, that and Ethan

beside him eased the anxiety.

“Hi there, my name’s Blake Weber. I’m looking to

schedule a surgery, I had a consultation about six months

ago and the doctor told me to call and schedule whenever I

was ready to start the proceedings for surgery,” he

explained. “All right, what day were you looking at for the

surgery?” the secretary asked, and Blake bit down on his

bottom lip as he thought. Midterms were coming up and he

wanted to do the surgery
after
the midterms so he didn’t

have to worry about the pain of the healing while he was

taking his tests. It’d be a better idea to heal over spring

break.

“Um, I was thinking about three weeks from now, in the

morning?” Blake suggested, hoping against hope they’d give

him what he needed. He fiddled with Ethan’s hand,

smoothing the pad of his fingers over his fingernails and

gripping his hand nervously.

There was a pause with the gentle sound of papers

rustling on the other end of the phone call. “Well, Dr. La

Brea has an opening for surgery at nine on Monday, April

21st, if you’d like me to pencil you in for that appointment,

Blake?” the secretary counteroffered.

Blake looked at Ethan, who nodded with an encouraging

smile, and then responded eagerly, “Yes, that sounds

perfect, thank you.”

“Okay, so you know the drill, right? He’s gonna be doing

an incision and remove the tissue. No food or drink after

midnight the day before the surgery, come in for a

pre-consultation an hour before the surgery, and you’ll have

to wear a post-surgery binder after he’s done,” the secretary

said.

“Yeah, I know,” Blake said with a smile. He’d done so

much research on the whole thing, not to mention Dr. La