Perfect for You (16 page)

He slides into the seat next to me. “How are you doing? You ready for the match?”

I haven’t even thought about the match. “The girl I’m playing isn’t very good. Shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Well, you should still get your head in the game. It will do you good to forget about everything else.”

True. We talk about tennis for the entire period. Noah doesn’t try to hold my hand or kiss me. He’s letting me ease into this, and I’m thankful for that. After school he says a quick, “See you at the match,” before heading to his locker. I feel alone. Ash and I were always together. I know Noah’s giving me time and space, but I miss the closeness.

Coach Moyers reams me out for missing days of practice. He even threatens to bench me since the team we’re playing isn’t very good. But I convince him that if I break the school record for wins it will reflect well on him, so he gives in and lets me play. As I take the court, Noah comes walking over. He waves and sits down even with the net, like last time. I can’t get over how much has happened in a week.

The girl I’m playing is worse than I remember, but somehow she’s beating me. Coach calls me to the fence to “conference,” which is his polite term for ripping me a new one.

“What the hell, Flannigan? You should have this in the bag. She has no backhand at all.”

Not true. She has a backhand, a really bad one that makes the ball die once it gets to my side of the court. It’s so bad it’s effective.

“If you don’t get your head in this match, I’m benching you next week. You can kiss that school record goodbye.” He storms off, leaving me with my mouth hanging somewhere near my ankles.

“Avoid it,” Noah says to me. Spectators aren’t allowed to coach, so he’s trying to mask his advice. “Avoid what’s messing you up.”

Her backhand. Don’t hit to her backhand side. Duh, why didn’t I think of that? I smile and nod, taking my place on the court again. I keep my shots on her forehand side for the rest of the set and win easily. Only one more set to go. Thanks to my less than stellar performance in the first set, everyone else is finished with their matches by now. My teammates are screaming at me to finish this already. Noah smiles. “You’ve got this, Meg.” Grayson glares at Noah and shakes her head. What’s her problem? Noah’s done nothing but help me.

I pour all my anger at Grayson, Ash, Liz, and Coach Moyers into the game, and in no time I win the match. After shaking the girl’s hand, I exit the court. Coach is waiting for me by the water cooler.

“That took three hours, Flannigan.” He lowers his voice, making sure the other team can’t hear him. “Three hours for a match you should have won in about forty minutes.”

“I’m sorry, Coach. I haven’t been feeling well. I’ll do better next time.”

“You better, Meg. I
will
bench you if I have to.”

I have no doubt. I nod and walk up the small hill to meet Noah. My teammates are gone. None of them congratulates me. I throw my arms around Noah’s neck and cry. I’m a mess. A complete and utter mess.

***

I finish out the rest of the regular season matches with Noah by my side. We don’t hide our relationship anymore. We hold hands, carpool to school, and even kiss between classes. He’s amazing—sweet, supportive, and above all, faithful. I’m even hanging out with the popular crowd at school. I have no complaints where Noah is concerned. But something is missing. He’s not Ash.

It’s been a month since Ash and I broke up. One month exactly. It would’ve been our six-month anniversary. I don’t mention it to Noah, but I think he knows. Ash and Liz show up at school, arms linked and laughing. Liz is wearing a shirt from the minor league baseball game I gave Ash tickets to. Ash took her in my place. That thought burns my throat, tears my heart to shreds, and makes my stomach do flips.

Noah brushes my hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek. “Come with me to a party tonight. It’s at Nathan’s house. I invited Grayson, too. You guys need to reconnect.”

I sigh. Why does he have to be so great? I never would’ve guessed Noah Turner could be this sweet. It actually makes me ache more. He really cares about me, but I’m still hung up on Ash. I hate that feeling. I’ve tried to lose myself in Noah. I’ve tried to tell myself this is how it’s supposed to be. Noah is wonderful. He’s right for me. But my thoughts always return to Ash.

“You invited Gray?” I’m holding back tears, but they’re still welling up in my eyes.

“Hey.” His voice is soft, and he pulls me into the janitor’s closet. I hear Tyler say, “Nice, man!” He must think we’re sneaking in here to make out. Really, Noah’s shielding me and my pathetic-ness from the rest of the student population. “I thought you’d be happy I invited her. I can uninvite her if you want. Tell her the party is cancelled.”

“No.” I touch his cheek. Why can’t I love him the way I loved Ash? The way I
still
love Ash. Things would be so much easier. “I’m glad you invited her. I want to make up and put all this behind us.”

He lowers his face, meeting mine, but he hesitates for a moment, making sure I’m okay with kissing him right now. I smile to show him I’m all right. He lightly presses his lips to mine, and before I know it, we
are
making out in the janitor’s closet like Tyler thought. Noah tickles my sides, making me laugh and fall into him. It’s exactly what I need. If only I can spend the day in this closet instead of facing Ash and Liz. Part of me still can’t believe they’re together. I didn’t want to believe Ash could be like Derrick. If anyone was going to be like Derrick, I thought it would be Noah. I was wrong.

After practice, which is short since we only have States left and it’s a week away, Noah drives me around for a while. It’s getting cooler, but I love the crispness in the air. We keep the windows down and laugh when our cheeks turn bright red. Noah is a great distraction. I’ll never tell him that, but it’s true. We stop at my house so I can get changed before we head to Nathan’s. Mom’s car is already in the driveway. She’s home early.

“I guess you get to meet my mom,” I say as we get out of the car. Noah’s only been coming around when I’m home alone. He’s not big on meeting parents.

“Oh, goodie.” He leans back on the car. “Maybe I should wait here or come back later when you’re ready to go.”

“Don’t worry.” I take his hands in mine. “It’s not like my mom is going to make tea and grill you with questions while I get ready.”

“You sure about that?”

I tug him toward the house. “Yes. Be a big boy,” I tease. He tickles me and I laugh, a high-pitched laugh that brings Mom to the door. She stares at us, not sure what she’s seeing. I may have forgotten to mention that I’m dating Noah. I knew she wouldn’t understand me dating someone new so soon after Ash and I broke up, and by the look on her face, I was right to assume that.

“Hey, Mom,” I say, pushing Noah’s hands away from my waist—more specifically out from under the bottom of my shirt.

“Hi.” Her face couldn’t be more scrunched up in confusion.

“This is Noah.” Noah and Mom both look at me, waiting for me to say more. What the hell? “My boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Flannigan.” Noah shoves his hands in his pockets. I’ve never seen him look this rattled. His usual confidence is gone.

“You too…Noah, is it?”
Oh, Mom. Don’t be like that.
“Please, come inside.” She steps aside and motions Noah into the house. He gives me a worried look, and I smile encouragingly. “Boyfriend?” Mom whispers as I walk by her. She’s so not going to be on her best behavior.

Noah stands in the living room, not sure what to do. I squeeze his elbow. “We’re going upstairs for a minute before we head out.”

“Upstairs?” Mom asks, giving me the evil eye.

Seriously? She’s in the house. What does she think we’re going to do? “Yes,” I say, dragging out the word and hoping she gets the point.

“Maybe Noah would like a drink.” Mom heads to the kitchen.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” Noah stays close to me, not wanting to get cornered into a conversation with Mom.

I take his hand and lead him upstairs before Mom tries to offer him anything else. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” I say as we walk in my room and close the door.

He spins around. “How sorry?” His devilish smile is completely sexy. He pulls me to him and kisses me hard. “Your mom has no idea this is where we had our first kiss, does she?”

“Lucky for you, no.” I smile to show I’m kidding. He kisses me again, but I pull away after a minute. “I should get ready.”

He sits on my bed. “Go right ahead.”

“Oh, yeah. Like I’m going to change in front of you with my mom downstairs.”

He shrugs. “It was worth a shot.”

“You’re like two different people, you know that?”

“What do you mean?” He leans forward on the bed, not looking as comfortable anymore.

“You seemed really…I don’t know, shy around my mom, and now that she’s out of sight you’re back to—”

He’s on his feet with his arms around my waist. “Being totally irresistible?”

“That too.” I laugh and kiss him once more before grabbing my clothes and heading to the bathroom to change.

I can’t deny I have feelings for Noah. I definitely do. And he’s hot as hell. I love being with him. But…I can’t make that “but” go away.

Once I’m dressed we say a quick goodbye to Mom with a promise that I’ll be home by midnight. I can tell she has a million questions for me, but she’s not going to embarrass me any more tonight. Thank God for that.

“You’ll have fun tonight,” Noah says. “I promise.”

Noah and I always have fun together. That’s not the problem. He’s great to be around, and I really do like his friends. They sort of took me in, no questions asked. Noah was right. Having a group of friends, even if they’re his, is definitely nice.

Nathan and Tyler are wrestling in the living room when we arrive. These two really should join the football team. They’re always shoving each other and thinking it’s fun. Still, they’re nice guys. Tyler drapes his arm over my shoulders. “So, Meg, what do you say you leave this loser and hang out with me tonight?”

“Tempting,” I say, tapping my finger on my chin in mock thought. “But Noah does have the new Camaro and I like to travel in style, so I’m going to have to turn you down.”

Lindsey laughs. “Leave the poor girl alone, Tyler.”

Tyler shrugs but doesn’t let go of me. “What? She deserves to know she has options.”

“Okay, take your hands off my girlfriend.” Noah removes Tyler’s arm and pulls me to him. I smile. Maybe this will work out. All I need is time to get over Ash. Then I can totally focus on Noah. He’s definitely worth it.

Lindsey reaches for me. “Ooh, pretty necklace. Where did you get it?”

Ash. My body stiffens. I haven’t taken the necklace off since he gave it to me. It’s the only piece of him I have left. Most of the time I keep it hidden under my shirt, but tonight I forgot.

“Was it a gift?” Lindsey presses.

I swallow hard. “Yeah.”

“Birthday?” She’s not letting this go.

“No.” I look at Noah quickly before tucking the necklace under my top. “Anniversary.”

Everyone goes quiet. They all know Noah and I haven’t been together that long. Not long enough to have an anniversary. That only leaves one option. Suddenly, I don’t feel like I fit in very well anymore.

Chapter Twenty

Noah’s arm slips from my waist, and he walks away without a word.

“Noah.” My voice is small, unsure.

“Go after him,” Lindsey says. “He needs to know you’re over the guy who gave you that.”

Emma, who’s been quietly observing the rest of us, hugs me. She whispers so only I can hear her. “Please, don’t hurt him. I’ve never seen him open up to a girl like this before. He really cares about you.” She pulls away and looks into my eyes, waiting for a reaction. I nod. I don’t want to hurt Noah, but I can’t exactly tell him what Lindsey wants me to either. I’m not over Ash. I need more time.

I walk off in the direction Noah went. I have an idea where he is. Noah has a thing for windows when he’s upset, and Nathan has a big bay window in his family room. Noah’s standing there, looking out. I walk up and wrap my arms around him from behind. I feel his chest expand and contract as he takes a deep breath and lets it out. He’s trying to stay calm for my benefit. I loosen my hold and walk around him, sitting on the window seat. I avoid his eyes for a moment, not wanting to see the hurt in them.

“Why do you still wear it?” he asks.

I can’t tell him the truth. It would crush him. “I don’t really know.”

“Don’t know or don’t want to say?”

I raise my eyes, but he’s staring over my head, out the window. “A little of both.” I want to be honest with him, but I care about him too much to dump my true feelings on him, knowing he’ll get hurt.

“What is that supposed to mean?” His eyes meet mine.

“Noah.” I reach for his hands. He doesn’t stop me, but he doesn’t lace his fingers through mine or grab onto me at all either. His hands are limp. “You and I got together right after Ash and I broke up. Right after. I never had time to get closure on the whole thing with Ash. I still don’t feel like I have it.”

“When we kissed in your room, you swore you weren’t doing it because of him. I told you I didn’t want to be the rebound guy.”

“I know, and I wasn’t lying. I wanted to kiss you, and that had nothing to do with Ash. You made me feel things for you that first day you talked to me. Those feelings were real. They still are.”

His fingers gently curve around mine. He believes me. “You’re still holding on to him though. That’s why you wear that necklace.”

“It’s my birthstone.”

“That’s not a good enough reason, Meg, and you know it.” He lets go of my hands. So much for making progress.

“You’re right. It’s not a good enough reason.” I take a deep breath, gathering all my courage. “He chose her over me. Liz. He wanted her. I guess this necklace reminds me that there was a time when I was the most important person to him.”

“You said it was an anniversary present. Didn’t you two break up on that anniversary? Wouldn’t that make it harder to wear that thing? Like it’s a constant reminder of him choosing Liz?” Now that he put it that way, the necklace does seem like an awful thing instead of a reminder of how important I used to be to Ash. But still, it’s all I have left of Ash.