Perfect for You (14 page)

“Ash, it’s okay.” I reach for his arm and tug him back.

“Did you touch her?” Ash is only concerned with Derrick right now.

“She slapped me, man. I didn’t touch her.” Derrick looks around Ash, glaring at me. “I
wouldn’t
touch her. She’s got major issues.”

Thanks to you, you ass!
I’m about to lose it again, but Ash blocks me, getting right in Derrick’s face. “Don’t talk to her. Get the hell out of here before I shove my fist down your throat.”

Derrick scoffs, but he walks away. Ash is a lot bigger than he is, and Derrick wouldn’t be able to pick up as many girls with a black eye or a broken nose. That, and I’m not worth getting beaten up over. I’m sure that’s how he sees it. I was never worth it to him. Never good enough to be faithful to. Never worth his time.

Ash turns to me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. He didn’t touch me.”

“Who is he?”

“No one. Just a guy who used to go to school here. He’s a jerk.”

“What did he do to make you hit him?”

What
didn’t
he do? “It’s too long a list. Besides, it’s our anniversary. I really don’t want to talk about Derrick.”

“Derrick? Why do I know that name?” Ash wrinkles his brow and my chest tightens. Maybe he
has
heard the story. “Is he…? You used to date him, didn’t you?”

I nod, not ready to say the words out loud to Ash.

He shakes his head. “First Noah and now this. Unbelievable. Everywhere I turn, there’s another guy I have to worry about. I’m so sick of this, Meg. How do you expect me to handle this?”

I don’t know what to say, and somehow I know “happy anniversary” isn’t going to help.

Chapter Seventeen

The morning bell rings and everyone pours into the hallway. There’s no time to work this out now. Our anniversary morning wasn’t supposed to start this way. I want to wrap my arms around Ash and kiss him, start this day all over. But he turns and opens his locker. He sighs as he takes the present out and looks at me.

“This is why you were here early?”

I nod, still finding it hard to talk.

Ash hands me the roses he’s been holding, but doesn’t say anything. Then he peels the wrapping paper off his present, tossing it into his open locker. He lifts the lid on the box and pulls out the tickets.

“They’re for the end of next month, right around our six-month anniversary,” I say, hoping the gift has made some of his anger fade.

He closes his eyes and wraps one arm around me, pulling me into him. He leans his head on mine, and I want to cry. He has no idea how awful seeing Derrick was for me. I want to tell him, but this isn’t the time. There are too many people around, and I can’t talk about it without crying. Without another word, Ash walks me to class. He kisses me goodbye, but it’s a small kiss. He’s still processing things. I hate this. This isn’t at all what our anniversary is supposed to be like.

I fumble through the morning in a daze. I definitely fail my Spanish test. I forgot to study thanks to being out late last night with Ash, and I don’t have the ability to concentrate on anything right now. The only positive thing about my morning is that Derrick isn’t in any of my classes. I sort of expected the universe to throw him in my face by giving him my exact schedule. But I guess even the universe is feeling sorry for me right now. I can’t handle seeing him again. I need to keep my distance from any guy who isn’t Ash. At least until things settle down again between us.

As I’m walking into my photography elective, Liz comes out of the class. She doesn’t even notice me because she’s too busy talking to a group of her friends. “He said she’s too much work to date. He’s sick of it. So,” she drags the word out, “he’s hanging out with me tonight.” Liz and the other girls shriek and clutch onto each other like only freshmen girls do. I roll my eyes, but I’m a little relieved because she must have found some other guy to throw herself at. I wonder who he is. Poor guy. Still, better him than Ash.

It’s my turn in the dark room, which is cool with me because I don’t feel like being around a bunch of people. Grayson’s my partner so I nudge her with my elbow as I carry my stuff. “Come on. I need to talk to you, away from anyone who can overhear us.” I desperately want to tell her about Derrick. And Noah. And Ash.

She doesn’t say a word, just follows me, so the moment I shut the dark room door behind us, I launch into my story. “So Ash and Noah are totally at odds with each other, and to make Ash happy, I told Noah I can’t see him anymore—you know, as friends. But he was really hurt. He likes me. Really likes me. I feel bad, but I don’t want to lose Ash. And then this morning guess who shows up?”

She shrugs, not all that interested in hearing my problems, which isn’t like her at all. I continue anyway. “Derrick.”

That gets her attention.

“
Your
Derrick? He’s back?”

“Yup, and Ash saw me talking to him and freaked. I mean, he
did
see me slap Derrick, so he knows there’s some history there. I just don’t know how to tell him what happened. It’s so humiliating. How do I tell my boyfriend about the guy who broke my heart two years ago? I don’t like talking about it, and I know I don’t even really talk to you about it either and you’re my best friend, but I’m not over what Derrick did. I don’t know how to move past that kind of hurt.”

“Is Ash worried you still have feelings for Derrick?” Her voice is strange, more accusing than sympathetic.

“I don’t know. That’s crazy though. I hate Derrick. I’d never go there again.”

“Not even if he apologized?”

“No!” God, how can she even think that?

“Still, he’s one more guy Ash has to think about.” She shakes her head. “My project isn’t even finished. I can’t do anything in here today. I’m going back into the classroom to work on it.”

“Gray.” Is she kidding? “I’m in full crisis mode and you don’t even care. It’s my anniversary, you know.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure seeing you with Derrick was just want Ash wanted.”

Ouch. “That’s harsh, Gray. Do you think I wanted to see Derrick?”

“I don’t know anymore, Meg. I thought you loved Ash but then Noah came along and you—no.” She puts her hands up. “You know what? I’m not getting involved. This is your problem. You created this mess. You can get yourself out of it.”

“I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“You could’ve ended it all. Put a stop to it before things got out of control. But you didn’t. And you know what really sucks?”

I know better than to try to answer.

“You haven’t even called me since before tryouts.”

Is that true? No, it can’t be. Can it?

“You’ve been a sucky friend, and you don’t even care. I went home sick on Friday. Last time you were sick, I brought you soup and crackers. You…didn’t even text me to see if I was feeling better or if I needed anything.”

She’s right. I’ve been so wrapped up in everything that I forgot about her. “Gray, I’m sorry. I’ve just been a little screwed up lately. I messed up.”

“Forget it. See you later.” She storms out, letting the door slam shut.

I know she’s pissed at me for blowing her off all weekend, but she has no idea what I’ve been going through. Ending things with Noah wasn’t easy, and then Ash and I were celebrating. Good thing too, considering how sucky our actual anniversary is turning out. I give Grayson space, knowing she needs it. She’ll get over this. She has to understand that I’m in a relationship and can’t be with her all the time. Yes, I should’ve called her. That was my fault. But I did spend my summer training her so she’d make the team, and it’s not like she’s never blown me off before. Last summer she ditched me for a week when her new neighbors moved in. She spent every waking minute with the hot college guy, who, as it turns out, is gay.

By lunch, I’m itching to see Ash. We really need to talk and I want to get this whole Derrick thing out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of the day together. I’m not letting Derrick ruin this for me. He’s ruined enough already. I grab my lunch and books for my next class as quickly as possible and head to Ash’s locker to surprise him. Hopefully he’s over the Derrick incident. I want to put it behind us.

Ash isn’t at his locker. Thinking he went to mine, I head back, but I take a different route, around the English wing since I didn’t run into Ash on the way here. He could’ve gone this way instead. The hallways are set up in a bunch of square patterns. I round the corner and see Liz leaning against a set of lockers, and my heart nearly stops when I notice Ash is with her. She’s smiling, and if she sticks her chest out any more, her boobs are going to tumble right out of her microscopic top. I want to rush over there and rip her hair out, but Ash is talking to her. They’re in the middle of a conversation. On our anniversary. I thought after she threw herself at him at the last football party and then attacked me at the game, Ash wouldn’t so much as look in her direction. What is he doing?

She playfully pushes against his chest, making my insides lurch. I can’t move. For the second time today, I’m frozen. Ash is letting Liz touch him. It might not be in front of my locker, but seeing him standing there…with her…it’s too much. Too familiar. She touches his shoulder and gives him a flirtatious wave before walking away. My stomach sinks. I could melt into the ground right now, but I force my feet to move. I need answers. I won’t let this happen to me again.

“Ash.” My voice is small, and I clench my hands to stop them from shaking. Only it doesn’t work. I’m losing it.

He jumps slightly and shoves his hands in his jeans pockets. “Meg, I was just coming to meet you.”

“Yeah, well I guess you took too much time talking to Liz.”

Ash looks down the hall where Liz is disappearing around the corner. “It’s not what you think.”

The people around us give us long glances before walking away. I don’t need an audience for this humiliation. Not again.

“What is it then? I thought you weren’t talking to her anymore. That’s what you told me. I stopped hanging out with Noah because you asked me to, but you couldn’t stay away from her. Not even after she tried to humiliate me at the game.” Did I make a huge mistake? Push the wrong guy away?

“I’m not hanging out with Liz or even really talking to her. She put a note in my locker, and I came here to tell her to knock it off.”

He didn’t seem angry with her. He didn’t even stop her from touching him. I motion to his empty hands. “Where’s the note?” If he’s telling the truth, he’d have the evidence to prove it. Instead he looks down at his sneakers.

“I threw it away. I didn’t want to hold on to it.”

“What did it say?” My throat is burning, and I know the tears are only moments away.

“Meg.” He steps toward me, reaching for my hands. I let him take them at first, but the pain inside me is growing too strong. He’s going to break my heart. Just like Derrick did. I think about what Noah said.
She thinks she has a shot with him
. There has to be a reason why Liz thinks she has a chance with Ash. Why is this happening to me again? I did the right thing. I sent Noah away. For Ash. And now Ash is running around with Liz behind my back? How is this fair?

Ash tries to pull me to him, to kiss me, but I can’t be sure where his lips have been. The thought rips my heart in two. I yank my hands away and cross my arms. “Don’t.”

“Please, let me explain.” He runs his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated.

“Tell me what the note said.” I’m not backing down. I have to know. No matter how much it’s going to hurt—because I’m sure Ash’s hesitation means it’s worse than bad. “I deserve to know, Ash.”

He lowers his head. “It’s stupid. Just Liz playing games.”

“Damn it, Ash. Tell me!” The tears are blurring my vision, but I refuse to let them spill. Not yet. Not before I find out the truth, hear it from Ash.

He shakes his head and meets my eyes. “It said to meet her in the girls’ bathroom by the art room after practice.”

The bathroom by the art room? Is that their secret meeting place? Liz’s words in the hallway before photography replay in my mind.
He said she’s too much work to date. He’s sick of it. So, he’s hanging out with me tonight.
My God! She was talking about Ash. “Did you complain to her about me? Did you say dating me is too hard?”

Ash stiffens and inhales sharply. “This thing with Noah…you have no idea how hard it’s been for me. I—”

“Decided to let Liz comfort you?” He doesn’t answer so I know I’m right. How long has this been going on? I can’t hold back my tears anymore. I can’t stop this ache in my chest, in my stomach, in my heart. He’s cheating on me. And I caught him. Ash, of all people, is cheating on me. Lying to me.

“We’re done,” I manage to say before pushing him in the chest and rushing down the hall. I run down the stairs, knocking over a kid from my trig class, but I don’t even apologize. I can’t talk. I can’t form words. I can’t breathe. I head out the back doors and straight for the woods behind the school. Screw my afternoon classes. Screw practice. Screw Ash. I run. The ache in my legs distracts me from the ache in my heart. Gives me something else to focus on.

I reach Horseshoe Lake, our secret meeting place. The art room pops into my head—
their
secret meeting place. An image of Ash kissing Liz invades my mind. No! I fall to the ground, crying into the grass. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. But it is. My necklace falls forward against my chin as my head rests on the ground. I grip it in my palm. Why did he even give me this? Was it guilt that made him buy me such an expensive gift? Guilt over cheating on me? Or is this his way of trying to get me to stick around so he can date both me and Liz? I never thought Ash could be like this. Like such a dirt bag. Like…Derrick.

Maybe this is my punishment for letting Noah into my life. Or maybe Noah is the one I was supposed to choose. Maybe I chose wrong. Noah could’ve been the guy who was supposed to save me from this. From this exact moment. From history repeating itself. And I was too dumb to see it.

How did this all unravel so quickly? I went from having everything to having nothing. A few days ago I had two guys fighting for my attention. Two guys who wanted to be with me. And now I’ve lost them both.