Paying the Price (19 page)

"Thank you."

She kissed me once more.
As she left,
I stared at her ass and tried very hard to think about how much I loved her.

But inside, I was very, very afraid.

Dareena was gone for some time. When she returned
,
she was carrying clothes and smiling. She threw the clothes
onto
the bed and pulled me into a deep, deep kiss. When my tongue asked to play, however, she pushed me away. I offered a hurt look.

"No, I can't afford you to go away.
Meorie
, are you with me?"

I nodded. "I tried to stay away, but Dareena, I'm so scared. I don't mind dying, but I don't want to be tortured."

"Mother is very angry with me," she said. "She wants to see you, but she said to dress you properly." She pointed to the clothes. "I'll help you get dressed."

"Please send me away, Dareena! Please!" I reached for her.

"Trust me," she said. "Trust me."

"I've been trusting you," I said. "How has that worked out so far?"

She laughed weakly. "Once more, for old time's sake."

I sighed and let her dress me. It wasn't as fine a dress as had been destroyed, and it hung loosely on me, but at least it was a proper dress. She found the other pair of shoes in my chest. They didn't match the dress, but they would have to do.

Dareena had me sit while she messed with my hair and gave me a light coating of makeup. I was sure I was still a fright, but she said we were out of time. Then she took my hand and we walked together through the palace, arriving at another set of doors. There were two guards waiting outside. Dareena pulled me to face her.

"
Meorie
, you must not escape, and you must not attempt to hurt anyone, even yourself. But you may act how you wish. You may kneel if you wish, but you no longer are forced to kneel." Then she pulled me into a hug and said, "I love you."

I kissed her ear and thanked her for saying so. I wasn't sure I believed it, but it was nice of her to act like it.

She hugged me tightly once more then released me. She nodded to the guards, who opened the doors.

We stepped in together. We were in the queen's outer chambers. The inner chambers doors were open and we stepped through. The queen was standing, looking out the window. Dareena knelt very briefly and stood. I chose not to.

The queen turned around. "Daughter, you will wait outside with the guards. Listen for me to call for you."
She spoke in her accented Norinian.

"Yes, mother," she said. Dareena squeezed my hand once more and whispered, "I am so proud of you," before leaving. I watched her leave, then turned back to the queen.

"Well," she said. "You aren't kneeling."

"We are in private," I said. "I don't kneel to my own queen in private, but if your ego requires it." And I lowered myself to a kneel.

"Oh, get up," she said. I almost didn't understand her and had to replay it in my head once, but then I stood up. We examined each other from several feet apart. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I presume, Your Majesty, have me executed. Probably in some gruesome fashion."

She turned away. "I gave my daughter a choice, back when she was negotiating your release from the dungeons. When it was time for you to die, you could be tortured to death, or she could look into your eyes and slit your throat."

My jaw dropped. "You would do that to your own daughter?"

She turned to face me. "Yes. Imagine what I would do to the Butcher of Kilara."

"Do you think you can scare me any more than I am already scared?"

She didn't answer right away, then changed the subject. "You are a fine actress."

"Your Majesty?"

"You have done an impressive job convincing everyone you are deeply devoted to Dareena."

I smiled. "I worship the ground she walks on."

"Acting."

"Not at all." I paused. "Bring your daughter in and have her order me to tell the truth. If I lie, the collar will let you know."

"She loves you," Fridara said.

"She may be fond of me. She is very kind to tell me she loves me. All through the trial, she took all my fear away."

I watched the queen pace the room. "Whatever am I to do with you?"

"I thought we'd already determined that." I paused. "Tell me, of the things I said, which of them were wrong?"

She turned to me. "Not a single one."

"What should I have done four years ago?"

"Not gone into the village."

"That's what I shouldn't have done. What should I have done?"

She didn't have an answer.

"Perhaps we should have waited at the border. Lodged a complaint. You know, like you did for me."

She had the grace to blush.
She hadn't done that at all. She was far, far more guilty than I was.

"Was the peace offer real?"

"No."

"Does Dareena know that?"

"No. She believes in it. She came to me with a plan for peace. I saw it as an opportunity to get you here."

"Well, maybe vengeance will make some people happy. When do I die? Will your daughter slit my throat, or have you rescinded that offer?"

She took a deep breath then turned away. "If I execute you now, I am publicly admitting the truth of your words. If I do so cruelly, the entire world will know about it."

I didn't say anything.

She turned back to me. "You seem to have wisdom beyond your years. What would you do?"

"I would ask whether I wanted peace."

"And if I did?"

"I would ask what would bring healing."

She paused for a moment. "And you, if you could make a wish, and it were to be granted by the gods, what would it be?"

"To undo everything from four years ago."

She frowned. "Without changing the past."

"Ah, well then, if Dareena truly loves me, then I would ask to spend the rest of my life with her. If she does not, then I don't know. I don't know if I can forgive my sister or my uncle. I don't know if I could make a home in Norinia again." I paused. "If I am to die, I would like a clean death that didn't scar Dareena."

"Dareena is my heir. You could not be in the line of succession in Norinia and be with her at the same time. Linara could die without a child, and then you would be queen." She paused. "You could be a very good queen."

I shrugged. "My sister is healthy. I have cousins that are good people. The monarchy of Norinia would not suffer if I were no longer heir to the throne." I paused. "Are you trying to give me hope just so you can cruelly shatter it?"

"I very well may be." Then she raised her voice, calling Dareena's name. The door opened, and Dareena answered. She joined us, taking my hand and squeezing for a moment.

Fridara spoke to Dareena in Tendaria for a moment. Dareena answered her in Norinian. "Yes, Mother, I love her."

I looked at her and smiled, my heart melting.

Fridara took a deep breath. "You may go. Sentencing in the morning. Princess
Meorie
, if you are to die, it will not be cruelly."

I knelt very briefly before we departed.

"You two have tonight. Use it wisely," she said to our backs.

* * *

We did.

In the morning, Dareena was crying. "I really do love you," she said. "I am so sorry. I thought there would be real justice."

I hugged her. "Thank you," I said. "I couldn't have done this without you."

"I thought there could be peace," she said.

"Maybe there can. Maybe vengeance is enough for healing to start."

We received a note from the queen. "Dress her properly," Dareena told me it said. I dressed as I had to visit the queen last night. Dareena again helped with my hair and makeup, and we descended to court. I held her hand and squeezed far too hard.

We took our seats and waited. The room was full, even fuller than yesterday. I glanced around the room. I saw a few hard looks, but not many.

When the queen came in, I knelt briefly with Dareena, but rose when she did, then took my seat.

The queen gaveled us to order. She looked around the room, then she addressed Dareena. When she finished, Dareena turned to me and squeezed my hand. "I am to translate," she said. "I am sorry."

I nodded, and she left me, ascending the dias to stand to the left of the queen. Dareena's eyes were on mine the entire time.

"Princess
Meorie
, you will rise," said the queen in Norinian. I was surprised, but I stood up. She gestured to me, and I moved to a place immediately in front of her.

"Princess
Meorie
," she said. "Every word you said in court yesterday was true."

The court gasped, some of them right away, some after Dareena translated into Tendarian.

"Every word." The queen paused. "Tendaria spoke of justice, but sought only vengeance. I am deeply ashamed. You have my heartfelt apology."

I stared at her. I wasn't sure what to do. "Your Majesty," I said. "I hope you understand I would like to hear the rest of what you say before I respond to the apology."

She smiled at that. "Quite understandable."

"The previous verdicts are rescinded," she said in a firm voice, then repeated it herself in Tendarian.

The court gasped again and talked for a while until the queen banged the gavel.

"We desire peace," she said. "A wise woman suggested to me that peace begins with healing." She smiled at me again. "Healing does not begin through vengeance! But healing in this case requires sacrifice. Would you agree, Princess
Meorie
?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Princess
Meorie
, you will renounce all claims to the
throne
of Norinia. You will renounce your title of Princess. And, as long as you both shall wish, you shall remain here with my daughter. Do you agree to these terms, required for healing?"

I stared at her. Then I looked at Dareena. "Do you want me?"

"Yes," Dareena said without hesitation.

"Your Majesty, I agree to your terms."

She banged her gavel. "Case adjourned."

The room broke in an out roar. It was unclear how many were pleased with the results, how many were displeased. But Queen Fridara wasn't finished. She began banging her gavel and raised her voice, speaking a single word in Tendaria.

The room instantly became still.

"Peace requires healing," she said. "And healing requires sacrifice. Four years ago, mistakes were made. Some were made by
Meorie
, former princess of Norinia. Far far greater mistakes were made by me.
Meorie
acted with no time for contemplation, with no recourse to counsel, and with no wisdom that comes from age. I have none of those excuses. If
Norinia
agrees to this peace, I hereby abdicate in favor of my daughter, Princess Dareena of Tendaria."

She banged the gavel repeatedly and spoke hotly in Tendaria, speaking far too quickly for Dareena to translate. Then she returned to speaking in Norinia. "Princess Dareena,
Meorie
,
I will require you to take another trip. On your return, if there will be peace, I will abdicate, and daughter, you will be crowned queen."

She banged the gavel. "Court adjourned."

Then she got up and I hastily knelt as she left.

"Good morning, Queen Dareena," I said to my lover.

Dareena opened her eyes and looked at me. "I love you."

"You say the sweetest things. You have to get up. Royal presence required and all that."

"Can't you handle it?"

"No. I have my own duties today."

She pulled me into a kiss and it felt divine. Then she pushed me away. "Why won't you let me remove the collar? How do I know what I do for you is real?"

I smiled. "Healing requires sacrifice.
Tendaria need to see me in it.
" I smiled. "But it's real, trust me, it's real."

"And you're an addict to what the collar does to you."

I smiled. "Guilty as charged, but I seem to remember you enjoyed the other night when you wore it."

"Shhh!" she said. "If anyone knew I wore your slave collar for a night, they would be scandalized." She smiled. "And wow, did that feel good."

"If you are very, very good, I will let you wear it again this coming weekend."

She smiled. "I'm always good."

Julia P. Lynde lives and works in the American mid-west.

Julia is older than most of the characters in her books. She has blue eyes and grey hair. She enjoys hiking in the mountains (difficult to do in the mid-west) and hosting dinner parties.