Paying the Price (15 page)

She turned around and stood there. I didn't want her to leave, but I didn't want her to stay, either.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" she asked.

"Am I supposed to make it easy for you to put a pretty face on all of it?"

She didn't say anything but started to step out the door. My heart broke.

"Dareena."

She turned around.

"I'm scared."

She walked back in and knelt in front of me. "I thought you weren't afraid to die."

"I'm not," I said. I looked around. "How long before I go mad in here?"

"What?"

"There are rats. And other things. I don't deal well with dark places. I don't deal well with not knowing. How long before I'm mad? If you want to help me, please put an end to this as quickly as you can. I don't want to go mad."

I started to cry, then I got mad and glared at her. "This is your justice. This is what your treachery has brought me to. My sister's treachery. My uncle
'
s. You all need a scapegoat. Good night. Have a nice meal and a comfortable bed."

She stood up and walked away, breaking my heart again.

"Dareena.
The worst part is, I love you. C
an you believe it? I love you.
How sick is that?
"

"I am sorry," she said. The door closed behind her, leaving me in the dark.

Propped in the corner of the cold cell, I still slept. I woke on and off, growing increasingly stiff from my position and the cold.

I cried a lot, which I hated, as it increased the pounding headache.

I woke and realized I really needed to relieve myself, but I was still dressed in a dress I couldn't take off without help. I tried very hard to suppress my needs. I slept.

Each time I woke, the need was greater. I managed not to embarrass myself.

Then I awoke to noise at the door. I was hoping it was Dareena, but it was the guards. The
y
stood in the doorway, laughing at me. Then one of them stepped forward with a tray of food and a mug. They set both down on the floor near the door to the cell.

There were two rats perched on the tray, and the food was crawling. The
y
held a lantern near the food to make sure I got a good look, then closed the door to the cell.

I decided that was probably breakfast.

The rats finished their meal, then I heard their feet on the floor as they explored the room. When I felt one come close to me, I kicked out at it, but it was feeble. Still, they left me alone. I didn't know where the bugs went, but I didn't feel any crawling on me.

Sometime during what I presumed was the day, my bladder decided it had lasted as long as it was going to last, and I soiled myself.
One more indignity to thank my sister for.

I dozed, propped in the corner of the room. I dreamed. I dreamed when I was young, and my mother was still alive. Then she turned to me and told me how ashamed she was of me.

I woke sobbing.

I cried myself back to sleep and dreamt of a day four years ago, of all the bodies, and then the bodies climbed to their feet and all pointed to me. I was familiar with that dream. It barely shook me up anymore. Still, I woke with my heart pounding.

I dozed, had horrible dreams, and woke.

There was noise at the door. It opened, and the guards were there. New guards. They cleared the remnants of breakfast and set down another tray. No rats this time, but instead there was a large pile of feces on the plate. Again, they made sure I got a good look before they closed the door.

I decided that was dinner. My first full day experiencing the wonderful hospitality Tendaria had to offer a princess of Norinia.

* * *

At some point during the night, my bowels relaxed, and I soiled myself further.

* * *

The next day went much the same as the first.

* * *

As did the day after that.

* * *

Sometime after my breakfast of rats and bugs, the door opened. I didn't even react. Then I heard Dareena's scream.

I looked up and she was dancing away from the rats and bugs.

I hadn't had any food or water in three days. I was probably delirious. I laughed watching her dance. It was a very hoarse laugh.

Dareena began screaming at someone, presumably the guards, as one of them came and cleared the plate away. The rats jumped off and scampered into the cell. The guard laughed and walked away.

Dareena stepped into the room and began screaming again. The guards came back, and she was pointing at my family of pet rats over in the corner opposite me.
The guards
laughed and disappeared, but then the
y
came back with a broom each and chased the rats out of the room, laughing at their game.

I watched Dareena shudder then she stepped into the cell, looking around for more rats. She approached me.

"You don't want to get too close," I told her. "I'm sure I'm crawling with bugs."

Then I giggled uncontrollably.

"I love your hospitality. Your mother offers every kindness."

I giggled.

"
Meorie
, look at me," Dareena ordered.

"Not your slave anymore," I said. "How long can someone go without water? Will I die before the trial?"

"What?"

Then I looked at her.

"They said they were giving you food and water."

"You saw my breakfast. Dinner has been feces. Human, I believe. A mug of something has been left by the door, but I can't exactly pick it up, and it's probably piss anyway. I haven't bothered to check."

"Is that why it stinks in here?"

"I haven't exactly been taken to the facilities, and pride and stubbornness only lasted so long. I'm sorry to offend your sensibilities."

I giggled again.

"If you knelt to mother, you could have proper
accommodations
."

I sighed. "Your mother undoubtedly ordered those soldiers to break me. It's working, by the way, but I'm hoping to be delirious from lack of water first. There is no way she has earned my respect. You can carry me and toss me at her feet, but I will not kneel willingly." I paused. "I know I'll break eventually. Has it been three days?"

"Yes."

"Well, I won't make it another three days. You can tell her it's working. The two of you can laugh about it."

"Mother wouldn't have ordered this."

"Go ask her. Watch carefully to see if she lies to you.
Did you order the soldiers to unshackle my arms when you were here last?"

"Yes."

"And yet they didn't. Who outranks you?"

"She wouldn't do this."

"You are so naive."

"I'll get you some water."

"No. Please. Maybe I can die from lack of water, or at least become so delirious I won't know what is happening to me."

"I will fix this," she promised me.

"Good luck with that."

She stood up and walked to the door.

"Dareena?"

She turned around.

"Are you part of my torture?"

"No."

"Are you honestly trying to be a friend?"

"Yes."

"Then do me a favor. Make sure my sister knows this is how I was treated. Make sure she knows that I place the blame entirely on her."

"The peace."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Go away. Go gloat with your mother."

* * *

Dareena returned a few hours later. I knew it was the same day as I hadn't had my feces dinner yet. She stepped into the cell carrying a lantern and set it down, then she walked over to me and knelt down. She had a mug with her. She lifted it to my lips. I turned away.

"No!"

She clasped the back of my head and forced some of the water into my mouth. I struggled weakly with her, but once she'd gotten a little water in me, I drank more of it docilely, greedily.

Finally she pulled the mug away.

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"I talked to my mother."

Then she gave me more water, and I drank it.

"She confirmed everything you said about your treatment. She also explained why."

"I could have told you why!"

"You need to kneel to her, and delirium isn't an option."

"It's all part of the show."

"Yes."

"I'm not playing."

"You will."

She gave me more water.

"I'm going to piss it back out."

"I know."

She gave me the rest of the water.

"Well, you can rest proud as you play your part in my continuing degradation. Congratulations."

"Mother gave me a choice. She told me I could give you water nicely, or I could let the guards do it. You wouldn't have liked their methods."

I didn't say anything.

"It's going to get worse, Meorie. Please, give her what she wants. Kneel to her."

"She doesn't deserve my show of respect. Are you starting to realize that? She doesn't deserve it. I may break eventually, but when I do, I'll know I held out as long as I could. No one who treats another human being like this deserves an ounce of respect."

"Please, Meorie."

"Dareena, don't you get it? She'll let me kneel, then she'll tell me I must also grovel. And then when I grovel, she'll come up with another stipulation. And another. And another. And I'll still end up back down here."

"She promised me she would treat you as you deserve if you kneel to her."

"Did you ask her for a definition of how she felt I deserved to be treated?"

Dareena didn't respond.

"Tell me, is this the justice you expected? Is this honor? Is this how I should be treated? Or is it in keeping with the treachery that got me here in the first place? Proud of yourself?
You promised I wouldn't be mistreated. What happened to your promise?
"

Dareena got up and walked to the door. "Please kneel to her, Meorie."

"Go ask her what she means by treating me like I deserve then come back and tell me things will improve."

She left.

The guards didn't close my door. As soon as Dareena was gone, several of them filed into the room. Then pulled the front of their pants open and began what seemed like a countdown. As they began pissing on me, I did the best to avert my face.

Their aim was impeccable.

Before they left, they tossed several rats into the room with me, laughing, then closed the door.

I ignored the rats.

* * *

Dareena came back after breakfast the next day. She had water for me. She forced me to drink it.

"You will break," she said.

"Did you ask your mother?"

She didn't answer right away.

"That's what I thought. Are you fully on board with her plan, or is she getting you there in pieces?"

She didn't answer.

"Do you still believe there will be justice?"

"No," she said quietly.

I didn't respond. Dareena started to get up. "Please stay for a minute," I asked her kindly. She knelt back down.

"I am sorry," she said.
"
I believed in this."

"Is the peace real?"

"I don't know anymore."

"What does she really want?"

Dareena took a big breath. "For you to kneel. And grovel. And agree to wear the collar."

"Bound to her?"

"To me. I am to use it to keep you in line."

"More groveling? Will you make me say things I don't believe?"

"No, I will make you kneel and I will make you remain silent when you should remain silent."

"What else?"

"Not escape."

"What else?"

"I am to accelerate the process of you falling in love with me."

She looked away.

"What would my quarters be?"

"With me." She paused. "I like girls. She's offering you to me."

"Would you force me?"

"No, but the collar will make you want me."

"When you first put it on me, did you know all this?"

"No."

She started to get up.

"Dareena, please don't go."

She looked down at me. "Why? You aren't going to agree."

"Please, a few more questions."

She knelt back down. "What?"

"Would you make me lie?"