Paying the Price (18 page)

"I told them all about our trip here. I told them about how you saved my life, and how you made the boat, and how you came here hoping that doing so would give our people rest, and that we could have peace."

I nodded. "Your mother looked at me differently. For the first time since this started, I don't know why."

"Neither do I."

"Did she know I had saved your life and all the rest?"

"Yes."

"What was that at the end?"

"I asked them to hold their sentence until the morning. I asked for one more night with you. She agreed."

"Will I die tomorrow after the sentence?"

"Within the hour."

"So tomorrow I talk. Will you still let me?"

"Yes. We can't make love tonight."

I smiled. "Why not?"

"Because it makes you go away."

My smile grew wider. "I can come back whenever I want." I paused. "Tomorrow, after I talk, can you kiss me and tell me you love me, even if it's a lie."

"It's not a lie."

"Kiss me as passionately as you can, and tell me you love me, and I can go away again. After I talk. If your mother allows it. I will be gone when she kills me. If you can't, I will understand. Now, please, make love to me."

And she did, and for a long while, I was gone.

* * *

As it always does, morning came. Dareena cried, but she was able to compose herself. I told her she was amazing.

"Are you in there,
Meorie
?"

"Yes, Dareena. Will you let me talk?"

"Do you know what you will say?"

"Yes. Maybe. We'll see."

As she had been, Dareena led me to the court room. We sat, then we knelt, then we sat. I looked at the queen. She was about to sentence me to death. Dareena stood up and spoke for only a moment.

The queen smiled and then said in heavily accented Norinia, "Prisoner, do you have anything to say before we pronounce your sentence?"

I smiled and looked over at Dareena. She nodded. She wasn't stopping me yet. I wondered if that would last.

"Yes, Your Majesty," I said. "I would." I stood up.

The queen's jaw dropped, and she glared at Dareena, but the room was filled, and she couldn't take back her offer to let me speak.

I stepped out from behind the table and looked around the room. "Your Majesty," I said. "I must apologize. I speak very little Tendarian, only a few words, very few words. I am unable to speak in Tendarian and must speak in Norinian. My apologies to those who can't understand."

I turned to
the queen. "Would you do me the honor of repeating those words to your court?"

Dumbfounded, she nodded. She spoke briefly. I looked over at Dareena, and she nodded. I took it to mean it had been an accurate translation.

"Your Majesty, I do not know if you will wish to translate further or not." I smiled. "My apologies for the difficulty."

She waved my apology away.

I turned to the assembled people and curtsied. It was a right and proper curtsey, and I spoke so the entire room could hear. "I am Her Royal Highness, Princess Meorie of Norinia, sister and heir to the queen, first in line to the throne of Norinia. In Tendaria, I am known as the Butcher of Kilara."

I paused. The queen was silent.

"Four years ago, two great travesties occurred. In Norinia, the village of Leeman was attacked by soldiers of Tendaria. Many villagers were brutally killed. I was leading a troop of soldiers. It was my first command, a small command. I was twenty-three years old. We saw the smoke from the burning village and hurried to investigate, learning of the attack, and we set in pursuit of the people responsible."

I turned and the queen was glaring at me, but she wasn't trying to stop me.

"That was the first travesty. The soldiers responsible retreated to Tendaria and cowardly hid amongst the villagers of
Kilara
." I paused. "These facts are not in dispute. They are not in dispute in Norinia, and they are not in dispute in Tendaria. And that is what led to the second travesty."

I paused. "I led my soldiers to
Kilara
. I ordered the men responsible to present themselves. They hid in the village and did not come out. Nor did they choose that moment to attempt to escape the village. I then led my men into
Kilara
, and that was when the second travesty happened."

Every eye was on me, and the room was silent except for very
,
very quiet voices talking. I thought perhaps it was a translation of what I was saying, and I waited a moment.

"We attempted to apprehend the men involved. We failed. During our attempt some of the villagers were killed. These were people who had done nothing wrong but live too close to a border and be in the route of a cowardly group of men who chose to hide from justice. And that is a tragedy."

I waited for a moment.

"The moment I saw villagers dying, I began yelling at my men to withdraw.
Several of my men were from the village that had been attacked. I found out later one man's mother was dead. Another man lost his sister and father."

"We withdrew, but only after far too many villagers were dead. And for that, Tendaria must have justice."

I returned to face the queen. "Tendaria must have justice." I said it loud enough to rattle the rafters. "Your majesty, would you care to translate that?"

She nodded and spoke firmly for just a moment. I waited for the room to settle.

Then I addressed the queen and the judges. "Tendaria must have justice. But instead, Tendaria seeks vengeance, and for that, you should be deeply ashamed." I pointed at the judges. "You should be ashamed! This trial is a mockery of justice, a mockery perpetrated by people who are known throughout the world for their sense of justice and honor, and you should be ashamed."

"That is enough!" the queen said, banging her gavel.

"It is not enough!" I said. "You, Your Majesty, should be most ashamed. I came before you in the name of peace, and how did you treat me? Your men fed me feces and urinated upon me. You kept me in a dungeon cell with the rats and the bugs, and you only let me out when I agreed to grovel to you and wear this collar, when I agreed to become your daughter's slave. Why you wanted that, I don't know. But you should be deeply ashamed. This is not justice, this is not the face of justice. This is vengeance."

I turned to the audience again. "Tendaria requires justice! Peace requires justice! And instead you seek vengeance! Each of you applauded when I was tortured in front of you. You should all be ashamed. Is that justice? No, that is vengeance!"

The queen continued to bang her gavel and was yelling at Dareena.

I turned back to the queen. "This trial is a mockery. An attempt at justice demands an unbiased process, and this room is anything but unbiased. An attempt at justice requires the defendant to actually understand the charges leveled against her, but they were issued in a language I don't speak, and no translation was offered. Justice requires the defendant understand the words spoken against her, which would have required a translator, but that was also not offered. Justice requires a proper defense attorney, which I was not offered."

Dareena looked at me sadly.

I turned to the queen. "I love your daughter. You saw to that. And she would have done anything she could to have delivered me to a just trial, but her focus was on peace, and she agreed to this travesty in the name of peace, not in the name of justice."

I walked over and squeezed Dareena's shoulder and mouthed, "I love you," to her.

"Justice requires the defendant be allowed to summon witnesses in her defense, but I was offered no opportunity to do so. I was offered no opportunity to bring forth the villagers of Leeman. I was offered no opportunity to bring forth the
men who were with me that day. This is not justice, this is vengeance."

"And you should all be ashamed to call it anything but what it is!"

I waited for the translation muttering through the audience. The queen had stopped trying to silence me.

"If peace requires vengeance, then so be it! But call it what it is."

Then I addressed the audience. "Dareena, will you translate for me?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Four years ago, I was twenty-three. I led my men into Tendaria to apprehend the soldiers who had murdered my fellow Norinians In the process, innocent Tendarians died. And for that, I am deeply ashamed."

I waited for Dareena to translate. The room gasped.

"Not a day goes by that I don't think about the dead on both sides of the border."

I waited for Dareena.

"Not a day goes without me wishing I had found another way."

I waited for Dareena. She was staring at me.

"I deeply regret every one of those deaths." She translated. Then I paused. "This was four years ago. During that time, many have told me how wrong I was." I waited for her. "I was twenty-three." I paused. "Inexperienced." I paused. "In those four years, many have told me I was wrong, but not once, with all the collected wisdom of age and experience available, not once has anyone told me what I should have done."

Dareena finished the translation. I looked at her. "Did you get that?" She nodded.

"Your Majesty, I am almost done."

She didn't respond.

I looked around the room. "Youth is no excuse." Dareena translated. "I know of one mistake. I should have realized I had men from Leeman and left them behind. I don't know if I could have, as they were incensed, but I should have tried. That is the only thing I know I should have done. But which of you can tell me what else I should have done? What should I have done?"

I turned to the queen. "How dare you judge me if in four years and all your years of wisdom, you can not tell me how the twenty-three-year-old should have behaved, but only how she shouldn't have. I dare any of you to do any better than I did."

I took a deep breath.

"Tendaria must have justice. I am blamed for start
ing the war. That is a scape
goat. The war was started by Queen Fridara. It was her army who chose to attack Norinia en masse.
It was her choice to turn these two travesties into a four-year war between two proud countries. This trial is her attempt to place the blame squarely on my shoulders. You may try me for my mistakes at
Kilara
, but the war is not my fault, it is your queen's."

Then I turned around and addressed the audience once more. "Tendaria must have justice, and I am here. Tendaria wants vengeance. I am here. But does Tendaria want peace? That is why I am here."

I turned to the queen and knelt in front of her for a moment, then turned to Dareena and spoke very quietly. "Please kiss me, Dareena, make me go away, please kiss me. I don't want to know how your mother will execute me."

And then I was kneeling to Dareena and she was kissing me, and I disappeared to her kisses.

The room was in an uproar. Dareena kissed me, then ordered me back to my chair. I was lost in the bliss from her kiss.

The queen banged her gavel and yelled and banged, and finally the room grew quiet. She banged her gavel once more and Dareena told me to kneel, so I did.

The queen and the judges left and Dareena pulled me to my feet.

"When do I die?" I asked her. I wasn't completely gone.

"Court adjourned," she said. "No sentence. Come."

I followed her to our room. Once we got there, I begged Dareena, "I'm not gone far enough, please make me gone, please please please."

"You were brilliant,
Meorie
. Brilliant!"

"Your mother is very angry at you. She is going to hurt you. Maybe she'll use me to do it. Please, I beg you, send me away before she does it."

I tried kissing her, but she ordered me to stop.

"Please, Dareena. Please. She's going to torture me to death."

"I don't think so."

"You didn't think it would be vengeance. You expected justice. You were wrong. You're wrong now. Please send me away. I can come back if I need to, please send me away."

Then she turned to me. "I do love you," she said, and I felt myself melt. "You are so amazing, and I love you." Then she began petting me.

I didn't know if she was telling the truth, but she sent me away, and I was lost in my love of her.

* * *

"Honey," she said. "I must go see what is happening."

"Please make love to me."

"We just did."

"I know. D
idn't you like it?"

"Very much so. Stay here. I will come back for you."

"Wait."

"I have to go."

"If a guard comes, the collar will punish me if he makes me leave."

"Stay here unless forced to leave."