Passionate Addiction (37 page)

“What are you doing here?” Her heart fluttered.
Evil, betraying heart.

He shrugged, nervousness and apprehension marring his features. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.” He stepped forward and reached out his hand, helping her to stand. “Tammy thought you might be down here.”

When he released his grip, she wiped the sand off her ass, needing to keep her hands busy. He was so close, within touching distance. Her fingers itched to connect with him. She wanted to caress the dark smudges under his eyes and wipe away the exhaustion.

He raised a hand to brush away the hair blowing across her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted time to think, but I can’t stay away any longer.” His dark eyes peered down at her, heating her blood. “I can’t live without you anymore, angel.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

His brows furrowed. “What don’t you believe? That I can’t live without you? Just ask the guys, they’re the ones who had to pull my life back together.”

“No. I don’t want to ask the guys or hear love songs on YouTube. All I need is for you to be honest and tell me.”

His hand dropped from her cheek. “I’ve got a lot to explain.”

“Yeah, you do.” And she hoped like hell that it was convincing.

“Do you want to go someplace more private?”

She shook her head. She couldn’t wait a moment longer to hear his reasoning.

“OK. Wanna sit?”

She nodded and followed him to the sand, sitting close at his side. He reached for her hand, and for long moments he remained quiet, his fingers running trails along the creases in her palm.

“I don’t know what to say, Gabi. I don’t want to make this worse. I can’t stand the thought of you walking away for good.”

“I need the truth. At the moment, I’m struggling to figure this out. Things between us had been fantastic and then you changed. You shut me out, and that’s the one thing I can’t understand. I never could’ve done that to you.”

“I was sick of being the broken one,” he spoke softly, his voice barely registering over the crash of the ocean. “And my fear of hurting you narrowed my thoughts. When Michelle blackmailed me, all I could think about was how you’d react. How disappointed and upset you’d be. So I kept it to myself, vowing to make it right without dragging you down.”

“Your honesty would’ve hurt a lot less.”

His face crumpled, and he nodded. “I…” He let out a derisive laugh and glanced away. “Truth is, I actually thought I was doing the right thing.” His gaze came back to meet hers, searching. “You’ve always been my protector, Gabi, and for once I wanted to protect you—from me.”

Her heart clenched. “I’ve never needed your protection, Blake. I’ve only ever needed you.”

He turned his gaze back to the ocean, staring off into the distance. “I know that now. Hindsight’s been painful.” He raised her hand, bringing it to his lips to leave a gentle kiss on her palm. “I’ve made too many mistakes to count. And most of the time, I can’t believe my own stupidity. I should’ve told you. I just couldn’t stand to be weak again.”

Gabi leaned into him, feeling the strength he didn’t believe existed. “You need to stop letting your past define you, Blake. I wish you could see the brilliant man that I do.”

His arm circled her shoulder, holding her tight. “You’ve been telling me that for years, and while we were apart, I had a lot of time to think about it. I realized I’m never going to make either one of us happy unless I forgive myself.”

“And did you?” She pulled back to look him in the eye.

His mouth tilted at one side, the briefest hint of a smile curving his lips. “After a little ink therapy, yeah, I think I have.”

“You got another tattoo?”

He nodded and pulled up the hem of his shirt, revealing the skin below the angel on his left pec.
Forgive. Forget. Finally be free.
The words were written in fine, black script.

“It’s beautiful.” She ran a finger over the raised flesh and his stomach clenched, the muscles defining under her touch. A skitter of excitement ran through her veins, heating the intimate parts of her body.

“Thank you.”

She ignored the heat in his gaze and rested back into his shoulder. There would be time for intimacy later. Right now she only wanted to be held, to feel the strength of his love embracing her. He lowered his shirt and pulled her into his side, his fingers lazily stroking up and down her waist, giving her goose bumps.

“I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear. “Nothing matters more to me than making you happy for the rest of my life.”

Gabi squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed with relief. This morning she’d been lost to heartache, and now, even if he hadn’t said a word, she would’ve believed the regret and sincerity in his eyes.

“Never lie to me again.” She kept her face hidden, not wanting him to see the smile she couldn’t control.

“Never. I promise.” He kissed her temple, turning her heart to flames. “Do you believe me? Can you believe
in me
after everything I’ve done?”

She snuggled into the darkness of his neck, inhaling the scent she associated with love and passion. They were made for each other. There would be more mistakes in the future, more hurdles to overcome and compromises to be made, but none of that mattered if they trusted each other. They could make it work.

“Yes.” She couldn’t elaborate, her heart was beating too hard, her stomach alive with a mass of butterflies and eagles’ wings.

He held her tight, pressing his lips into her hair. “God, I’ve missed you.” He kissed her again. “I’ve ached for you with every heartbeat.” She believed him. She always would. “There’s no one else for me. There never will be,” he continued, breaking down her barriers.

Gabi peered up into his face. She read the sincerity in his eyes, the seriousness in the flat line of his lips. When she was in his arms, surrounded by his warmth and affection, nothing else mattered.

He lowered his gaze, focusing behind her shoulder. A bright reflection glinted in his pupils and the tinkle of something metallic sounded over the rush of waves. She straightened and pressed her lips together at the sight of her necklace tangled around his fingers.

“Taking this from you almost killed me.” He paused, letting his words hit her with the brutal force of regret. “I’d never been more proud or happy than on those days when you wore this. I loved knowing a piece of me was on you, touching you.” He turned his hand over, letting the necklace rest in his palm. “Take it back, Gabi. Please.”

She’d given it to him in New York because she thought his betrayal had made it hang heavier around her neck. She was wrong. It wasn’t the betrayal that strengthened the gold, it was his love—the reminder that he’d picked out a gift more perfect and heartfelt than anything she’d ever received before. The breathtaking birthday present had made her feel guilty for feeling betrayed by him. And at the time, she didn’t want to have those emotions. She only wanted to be angry.

She slid her hand over his and grasped the necklace. The mere touch of warm gold soothed her heart. He watched her from the corner of his eye as she placed it around her neck and let it rest against her chest.

Blake leaned over, reaching into his pocket. This time he pulled out another piece of jewelry. One that was smaller, round, and sporting an emerald cut diamond in the center.

Holy dooley.

“It’s not enough,” he started, pivoting the band so the sun reflected off the dazzling rock. “Nothing I have will ever be good enough for what you deserve, but I want you to be mine, angel.”

He turned his face to her, and she swallowed at the love emanating from him. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. In fact every inhalation had been restricted since they first met in person.

He stood, taking her hand and pulled her to stand on wavering legs. Then he lowered again, down on bended knee and raised the ring between them. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, his lips slightly tilted in an adoring smile. “Sweet angel mine, I love you with everything I am, everything I’ve been, and everything I ever will be. Will you marry me and make my life complete?”

Gabi sucked in a shaky breath and held it, expanding her chest until it pounded. She felt the same. She loved him with everything she was and everything she ever would be… But this was too soon. Too fast.

“Please?”

A panicked chuckle bubbled from her lips and she dropped to her knees in front of him, cupping his cheeks with her palms. “Blake Kennedy, you’re an incredible man who I love dearly. And I
do
want to marry you.”

His face fell.

“I haven’t said ‘no.’” She shook her head in warning, and held him tighter. She stared into his eyes, the dark hue that almost bordered black. The color that always made her melt. “Before we become engaged, can’t we first enjoy being a couple? I want to have fun with you, to learn more about each other without the stress of planning a wedding and a future.”

He inclined his head and lowered the ring between them. She reached for it, grasping their hands together.

“Don’t put it away.” She smiled, cheeky and seductive, letting him know things between them would be OK. “I want to wear it. I want to be reminded of your promise every day, but for a little while, can I place it on my necklace?”

He quirked a brow and released the ring into her hand. “So it’s a no
for now
?”

“It’s a yes, with a delay. I want to earn this ring. I want us both to. And more time together will achieve that. We have a lot of things to figure out, and I don’t want to rush a single second with you.”

His lips tilted, the slight grin turning into a fully-fledged smile. “We’re going to get married?”

“Yes, we are.” She kissed him, holding him tighter, never wanting to let him go. “But first we’re going to work for it.”

“Who wants another beer?” Mason asked, walking into the kitchen of his Richmond, Virginia home.

“Me,” Sean and Mitch grunted in unison.

Blake glanced at the two empty bottles beside him on the poker table and smiled. “Yeah. Grab another one for me, too. Thanks.”

He never thought he’d get back to sharing drinks with his buddies. Hell, he never thought he’d have the strength to stop hating himself every time he glanced at a beer bottle. But he’d changed.

In the few months he’d spent living with Gabi, he’d learned a lot about himself. She’d convinced him to create new memories to associate with the buzz of intoxication. So that’s what he was doing—relaxing, enjoying a good laugh with his friends while they celebrated Christmas Eve at Mason’s secluded mansion. He only wished Ryan was here with them, instead of choosing to stay home with his wife.

“Here ya go.” Mason handed Blake a chilled bottle of beer and sat down beside him. “How are you doing?”

Blake turned his gaze to Gabi who sat on the sofa with Alana, both of them occupied with a mass of bridal magazines. “I’m great… Thanks for letting us crash here for the weekend.”

Gabi hadn’t removed the engagement ring from her necklace, but things between them couldn’t be better. They were in love—the heavy and consuming kind that provoked continuous PDA’s that drove his friends crazy.

Mason cracked the lid of his bottle. “No problem. To tell you the truth, I kinda had an ulterior motive.”

Blake quirked a brow. “If any of your ‘motives’ include Gabi, you can think again, pretty boy.”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Mason took a swig of his beer. “I’ve been running low on song ideas and thought having you guys around might help. I haven’t even started on the next album, and any day now Leah is going to start hounding me for updates.”

“Why don’t you call Sidney?” Mitch interrupted, shuffling the deck of cards for another round.

“Yeah, that’s an awesome idea. And while I’m at it, I could shove my dick in a blender, just for shits and giggles.”

Mitch laughed. “It’d be more fun if you let her do it. I’d love to see her face light up.”

“Leave her alone,” Sean growled. “She’s been through enough without you guys making fun of her.”

Mason glared at Sean, both of them staring the other down. The crackle of the fire and Alana and Gabi’s soft murmurings were the only noise to break the quiet discomfort.

“Touchy much?” Mason asked, pushing from his chair. “What happened wasn’t my fucking fault, so shoot your filthy looks somewhere else.”

Sean narrowed his gaze. “You’ve got serious ego problems if you think her ruined reputation isn’t your fault.”

“Your cock was in her too, bro,” Mason spat, walking around the poker table.

“Yeah, but you were the only one with a camera.”

Moments passed with everyone in the room on alert, waiting to see if the argument escalated.

Mason raised his chin, turning his gaze to Mitch. “Count me out of the next hand. I’m going to take a piss.” He shot a final warning glance to Sean before striding from the room.

Sean didn’t react. Mitch continued shuffling his cards. And Blake sat there, drinking his beer, content and a little giddy that his life wasn’t the most dramatic for once.