Passionate Addiction (32 page)

Silence, long and punishing.

“Do you want me to look for her?”

“No.” Blake shook his head. “You enjoy your party and don’t worry about me.” Although things with Michelle hadn’t ended the way he planned, they were still over. He’d upheld his part of the bargain, and she agreed to quit blackmailing him once they went their separate ways at the end of the night. His lawyer had all the legal paperwork to prove it.

One part of his nightmare was over. Now he had to focus on Gabi.

“I’m on my way back,” Blake added, his blood pumping with determination. “I’m going to find her and make everything right.”

***

Gabi wiped the steam from the bathroom mirror and fastened the remaining buttons on her flannel pajamas. She looked a treat—damp, scraggly hair, the skin under her eyes now red from crying, and her cheeks pale with exhaustion.

She already called her airline and secured a seat on a late morning flight to Sydney. All she had left to do was sleep, eat, and leave. Easy.

Hanging her towel over the railing, she shuffled to the bathroom door and stepped into the main room of the suite. Her feet hit the thick carpet, and in the next second, her stomach dropped.

“How did you get in here?” she whispered, her voice barely registering.

Blake stood in the shadows near the suite door, his shoulders slumped, his dark eyes hooded. He stepped forward, the dim lamplight revealing the mark Michelle’s lips had left on his cheek. “Money talks.”

Her lips trembled. “I bet. Now get out.”

Another step forward. Another revolt from her stomach. She put up a hand, wanting him to stop.
Needing
him to stop.

“Out!” she yelled, her breath coming faster now, panting from her lungs.

Her limbs grew weak while she waited, the built up agony growing inside her. He didn’t move, didn’t flinch, merely stood there, his head tilted low, looking up at her through thick, dark lashes.

“Please,” she begged.

He shook his head. “Not until you let me explain.”

No
. “I don’t want an explanation.” She wanted to stamp her foot. Instead, she strode past him to the door and jerked it open for him to leave. “I want to go back home and move on with my life.”

He sighed, long and heavy. “I’ll leave once you understand what happened.”

“Can’t you hear me?” her voice rose, wavering. “I no longer care.”

He ignored her and walked further into the room.
Bastard.
She let the door slam shut and stormed after him, gripping the front of his black silk shirt in an effort to make him move. He raised his chin as she pulled hard, yanking at the soft material. A button popped, and she cried out in frustration. Her eyes burned, making her blink repeatedly until tears streaked down her cheeks. Yet he never moved. Never spoke.

She wasn’t strong enough—physically, mentally, or emotionally. Heaving sobs wrenched from her lips, and her knees gave out. Before she hit the floor, his arms came around her, lifting her, comforting her.

“Don’t!” she screamed. “Get your hands off me!” She pummeled his chest with her fists, hitting him with what little energy she had left.

He held her tighter, his breathing labored while he walked her to the nearest wall. Then he released her.
Thank god, he released her.
And she collapsed against the cold plaster, his hands coming to rest on either side of her face. He caged her in, his hard thigh pressing against hers. She felt him everywhere, on her skin, in her broken heart, overtaking her soul.

“Please…” she cried, closing her eyes, letting the heaving sobs escape. “What do you want from me?”

He touched her arms, encircled her biceps, holding her tighter with every passing second. His hair brushed her cheek. “The same thing I’ve always wanted, Gabi,” he rasped into her ear. “Everything.”

She opened her eyes to glare and pushed against his chest. “You can’t have us both!” She wanted to be free of him, and yet, she wanted him to continue holding her, to never let her go. “Her lipstick is on your cheek for Christ sake!”

He swiped at his face, smudging the red marks on his skin. “Gabi,” he whispered. “God, Gabi, please let me explain.” He heaved a sigh and cupped her face with strong hands, making her look at him, making her see the hurt reflected in his glazed, dark brown irises. “Michelle blackmailed me.”

She froze and shook her head in confusion.

He wiped the tear soaked clumps of hair from her cheeks. “I haven’t been with her, angel. I swear to you. I haven’t been with anyone.”

“I don’t understand.” She sniffed and pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling.

His forehead rested against hers, his arms still holding her tight. The warmth of his breath brushed her mouth and for the second time today, she acknowledged there was no hint of alcohol.

“She has photos of me snorting coke. She threatened to hand them to the media if I didn’t help put her in the spotlight. There is nothing between us, I promise. It was all for show.”

Gabi remained silent and stared at him. The truth was in his expression, in the defeat and exhaustion that darkened his features, and still, it didn’t redeem him in any way. All he’d done was explain Michelle’s actions.

“And you couldn’t tell me this earlier? Did you even wonder what it was like to find those photos of you and Michelle together? How absolutely devastated I felt? I’ve never experienced pain like that before.” She glared at him. “When Greg died, it tore me apart, and I’d known beforehand that he was playing with his life. I’d known he might not make it through. But with you…”

She raised her chin and looked him straight in the eye, ignoring the tears that blurred her vision. “I never expected you to betray me like this. And for what?” She threw her hands up. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”

“God, Gabi, I didn’t know what to do.” He closed his eyes and pulled back to shake his head. “I thought I could give her what she wanted and walk away without you getting hurt. I never expected it to turn out like this.”

“You never expected this?” she accused. “That’s funny. I never expected my best friend to betray me either.” For a moment, guilt consumed her at the fresh wave of pain that washed across his features. Then she remembered what he’d put her through, how he’d broken her irrevocably. “I trusted you.”

New tears formed and threatened to burst free. “Even when you kept me in the dark, I defended you. I stuck up for you when my friends and family hinted that you were a cheating, lying bastard.” She pushed at his chest, and this time he let her go, stumbling back.

“I was humiliated.” She swiped the dampness from her cheeks with the back of her hand. “You shut me out and made me believe you never cared. I spent my savings, risked my degree
and
my job, just to come here and find out something you could’ve told me over the phone.” She moved forward, pushing into him, and thumped her fist against his chest. “You lied to me—”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer, so they were waist to waist. “I never lied to you.”

“No?” she sneered. “Well, hiding the truth is just the same. You betrayed me.”

His chest vibrated with a growl. “I’m not perfect, Gabi, you know that better than anyone.”

“I do.” She nodded. “I just never thought I’d be on the receiving end of your stupidity.”

She regretted the words before Blake winced from her brutality. Turning her gaze away, she wrinkled her nose, refusing to cry while his hands still grasped her wrists. The silence grew deafening, until she thought she couldn’t take it anymore. Part of her wanted to apologize, while the other part needed him to suffer.

“This isn’t you,” he whispered. “And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I’ll make it up to you.”

She shook her head, more to herself than to him. Hollowness consumed her. She couldn’t see a way back to where they’d once been. To the perfection of what she liked to believe was true love.

He grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet his feral gaze. “Yes, I will. You’ll love me again and you’ll forgive me, too. I know you will.”

His lips crashed against hers, firm and unyielding. A whimper tore from her chest, stripping her of her last defenses and leaving her raw. She hated him. Hated him for breaking their trust, for humiliating her, for going on with his life and ignoring her so easily. She never could’ve done that. And yet, she clung to him, her hands gripping the silk of his shirt, her lips kissing him back.

His tongue entered her mouth, lashing hers with fierce strokes. She didn’t want to need him, but her blood heated anyway. Her body craved something she knew her heart couldn’t handle.

“Don’t.” She pulled back, cursing her breathy voice that lacked conviction.

His lips burned a blazing trail along her jaw, down her neck, and to her collarbone. She wanted to cry out, to scream, to wail. She loved this man, yearned to have him inside her and in equal measure couldn’t stand the anguish his touch brought.

He let go of her wrist and yanked at her pajama buttons, undoing some, ripping others. Then his hands were on her breasts, and the pleasure rallied against the knife embedded in her heart. She threw her head back and closed her eyes, the buildup of tears now running freely down her cheeks. Her fingers gripped his hair and his mouth latched onto her nipple, enticing a cry from her throat, this time one of pleasure.

Nobody would ever love her body the way Blake did. No man would ever compare, and it was that brutal honesty that made her bite her lip and enjoy this final goodbye. Being with him one more time wouldn’t change what had happened. It wouldn’t clear the mess of the past or mend the dishonesty. It would numb the suffering, though, if only for a little while.

He pushed the top from her shoulders and lifted her off the ground, walking her backward to the wall. Her feet landed softly against the carpet, and he gripped the material at her waist, crouching to gently pull down her pants and underwear until they pooled at her ankles.

He stared up at her from the ground. She ignored his tender gaze, and focused on the way he worked the few remaining buttons of his shirt and let it fall to the floor. The sight of him made her swallow. It would always affect her—the muscles, the tattoos, the angel adorning his chest.

She closed her eyes and tried in vain to remember a better time. A place when they’d only had the distance between them to worry about, not lies and blackmail and heartbreak.

“Don’t close your eyes, angel. Don’t shut me out.” He moved to his feet, the harsh material of his slacks rubbing against her naked thighs. “Look at me,” he whispered against her lips.

Slowly, she surrendered, lifting her lashes to the face of a man that would always own her heart.

“I love you, Gabi.” He stared into her eyes, unmoving. “There is no one else for me. I won’t let there be anyone else for you.”

He was right. She’d been ruined. There would never be another man for her.

Turning her head away, she faced the curtain-covered window, not wanting him to know how right he truly was. She could handle their entwined bodies, not his softly spoken words. He kissed her collarbone, her sternum, her neck, and each press of his lips made her traitorous body hum. She arched her back, wrapped one leg around his thigh and hoped for a few fleeting moments she could distance herself from reality.

“Look at me.” He nuzzled her chin.

She shook her head and ground into him, searching for his erection through his pants.

He moved his hips back, out of reach.

“Look at me, angel, or this ends now.” His teeth nipped at her jaw, and a calloused hand ran up her waist to cup her breast. “The only reason you don’t want to look at me is because you know I’m telling the truth. You know I love you. You know there’s no one else.”

When she didn’t respond, he stopped moving and lowered his forehead to her shoulder. A ragged sigh escaped him. “I fucked up, sweetheart.”

She pressed her lips together and frowned, stemming the burn in her eyes.

“Please forgive me.”

“I will forgive you.” Her response was choked. She
would
forgive him. She loved him too much not to. She just hadn’t yet, and probably wouldn’t for a long time.

He tilted his head to meet her gaze. “I’ll wait. No matter how long it takes.” His lips found her cheek, the side of her mouth, and his pelvis settled back against her. He kissed her softly, his tongue stroking over hers with delicate adoration, coaxing goose bumps to cover her skin.

“I’ll treasure you, angel. I’ll dedicate the rest of my life to making this up to you. Just tell me how. Tell me what I have—”

“Shh.” She pressed her lips to his and gripped the buckle of his belt. Their tongues danced while she unfastened the clasp and helped him to shuck his pants. “Take me to bed.”

He swung down, sweeping her off the ground. He carried her a few feet and laid her on the mattress. The hurt still lingered in his eyes, the pain still etched in his features. She ignored it as she cupped the back of his neck and encouraged him to climb on top of her.

She leaned back into the pillows, and he followed, nestling between her thighs. His erection nudged her entrance, thick and insistent, sliding through the dampness of her arousal. With a groan, he inched inside her, casually, with deliberate care.

He wasn’t going to give her the fast road to heaven she wanted. He planned to drag it out, to love her slowly. She could tell by the way his hands lazily roamed her skin, relearning every inch, and how he stopped every few moments to gaze into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts.

She couldn’t do this. Not slow and intimate. It pulled at her heart too much, made her want to forgive too quickly, and she owed it to herself not to let go of the betrayal. Pushing at his shoulders, she encouraged him to roll onto his back. He followed her lead and pulled her around to straddle his lap.

This gave her control. She stared at the cream plastered wall and rode him, grinding her hips with hard pulses, making him groan and reach for the headboard. That’s when her gaze fell, landing on his chest and the angel adorning his pec stared back at her.