Passionate Addiction (36 page)

Walking to the couch, he sat in the corner, alongside Ryan. It was time to man the fuck up. Once the cloying thoughts were out of his mind, he’d be able to move forward. Well, at least he’d have the brain capacity to figure out how to take the first step.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he unlocked the screen and glanced at Mason. “Ok, then. What’s Sidney’s number?”

Blake re-read Sidney’s neat writing, his smile growing wider with every line. “It’s good.”

“Of course it’s good.” She smiled, her hazel eyes gleaming. “You’ve packed a lot of heartache and love into those lyrics. I think everyone will be reaching for the tissues when they hear you sing it.”

He clutched the guitar in his lap tighter and swallowed his nervousness. Singing wasn’t his forte. He was good enough to back up Mason on tour when the music was loud and fans drowned out his voice. However, singing alone, with only a guitar to keep him grounded, scared the shit out of him.

“Don’t worry.” Sidney patted his knee. “Truly, Blake, it sounds passionate and heartfelt. The woman you’re singing about won’t be able to resist falling in love with you all over again. Trust me.”

He nodded, although not entirely convinced. “OK… Let’s do this. I’ll go get Mason.” He stood, and not even the dark fringe covering Sidney’s forehead hid her cringe.

“Are you sure
you’re
up to this?” Blake asked, sitting back down. They planned on creating a video of his song—Gabi’s song— and uploading it to YouTube. He couldn’t call her, didn’t know what to say if he emailed, but maybe his music would convey the emotions he had trouble getting out. The only problem was the sound. He could sing the song himself and accompany it with his guitar, but doing it in harmony with Sidney’s sweet voice and Mason’s smoothly popular tone would be magic. Sidney would have to suppress her loathing for Mason while they did it, though.

“Me?” She waved away his comment. “I’m fine.”

Blake narrowed his gaze. He wasn’t sure if Sidney and Mason had even spoken since the sex tape scandal. And looking at her now, with her innocent doe eyes and wholesome smile, he couldn’t understand how a woman so sweet would’ve ever allowed herself to be taped getting naked with Mason, let alone Sean at the same time.

“Come on, Blake. Let’s do this.” She stood and strode to the studio door, hesitating briefly before opening it. “Hey, asshole,” she called down the hall.

Blake cleared his throat to smother a chuckle. For the last two days, he’d worked with Sidney and not once had she been unprofessional. She was a true lady, one with manners and morals and self-respect.

“We’re ready for you,” she continued, then let the door close in Mason’s face. In her sophisticated knee-length business dress and dainty black heels, she turned and walked back to the chair beside him. “See, I’m fine.”

He grinned and shook his head. She could pretend to be fine all day. They both knew it was only a façade. He could see the hurt in her eyes and the denial in the weakness of her smile.

Mason yanked the door open and strode in. “Nice to see you too, wildcat.”

“I wish I felt the same,” she sneered. “Wait. No I don’t. I’d be quite happy to never see your face again.” She smiled, batting her thick black lashes. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She leaned over and grabbed her handbag from the floor, scrounging through the contents. “I’ve got something for you.”

Mason stopped a few feet away, leaning on the back of a wooden chair, watching her. She placed the handbag back down and flicked something small and shiny at his chest. “Go fuck yourself,” she muttered, then lowered her gaze to the sheets of music in her lap.

Blake’s eyes widened at the vehemence in her tone, not to mention her language. He’d never heard her swear before, and they’d known each other for years. Mason had that effect on women. They either loved him, or wanted to claw his pretty face.

Mason fumbled to catch the silver packet, and then held it up between his fingers. “I love the dramatics, Sid, but if I’m fucking myself, doesn’t that kinda make the condom redundant?” He raised a brow.

Sidney didn’t look at him. “With your propensity for sleeping with whores, I’d be protecting every part of my body against the diseases that thing—” she glanced at his crotch, then back to her work, “could carry.”

Mason fixed Blake with a crooked grin. “Did she just call herself a wh—”

“Mason,” Blake warned.

“You do remember that we’ve slept together, right?” Mason taunted. “If you don’t, I can always call Sean. I’m sure he’s still got a copy of the video.”

Sidney’s hurt gaze snapped to Blake, her bottom lip caught tight between her teeth. He wanted to comfort her. She didn’t need it. In the next second, she raised her chin and her nostrils flared. Moving to her feet, she turned on Mason. “I remember. You were the biggest mistake of my life.”

Mason’s smirk increased. “Well, I definitely wouldn’t be the smallest.”

“Oh, that’s cute.” She took a step forward and smiled. “You think you’ve got something special between your thighs. Sorry to break the news, buddy, but you actually need to know how to use it for it to be useful.”

Mason faltered, his brows furrowing before he leaned forward, inches from her mouth. “I distinctively recall you screaming my name as your tight pussy came around my cock.”

Blake’s focus flicked between the two of them like a tennis match. Each comeback spurred the other on, making them more livid. If he didn’t know the circumstances behind the loathing, he would’ve guessed this was an anger filled mating dance.

Silence fell heavy in the room. Sidney clenched her fists, straightened her shoulders, and turned, moving back to her seat. Mason chuckled, the noise growing louder the longer she remained quiet.

Why was Mason being such an asshole? Couldn’t he see she was hurting?

Sidney cleared her throat and met Blake’s stare. “Can we hurry this along?”

***

Gabi sat at the reception desk, occupying herself with the
click, click, click
of her pen. She wasn’t meant to be working today, but when another staff member called in sick, Gabi jumped at the chance to keep herself busy. Only she wasn’t busy. She was bored. And boredom led to thoughts of Blake, which led to the cloying depression she’d been trying to ditch for days.

“Oh, my god,” Tammy’s voice came from the luggage storage room behind her, followed by foreign murmurs from a video.

“What?” Gabi asked, swiveling in her chair to face the doorway.

Tammy walked into view, her eyes wide and her phone in her hand. “Have you been on the internet lately?”

“Yeah,” Gabi frowned. “I check my emails when we’re quiet.” She checked her emails every spare second of the day, always hoping to find something from Blake. Unfortunately, he’d listened to her appeal for time alone, and she hadn’t heard from him since leaving the US.

“Umm.” Tammy swallowed.

“What is it?” Panic started to overtake her, her palms now beginning to sweat.
Please don’t let it be another Blake media scandal.

“Get on YouTube.”

Gabi paused, unable to determine if Tammy was excited or panicked, before swiveling in her chair to face her computer screen. She opened up an internet browser and typed the website address. “Now what?” Her fingers were poised over the keypad, her body tense, waiting to find out what was so important. If it was another cat video, Tammy would be in serious trouble.

“Type in, ‘Blake Kennedy—Shattered Heart.’”

Gabi froze. She sat there, staring at the screen, her chest throbbing. She didn’t know what to expect, but ‘shattered heart’ sounded laughably ominous.

“Do it, Gabi.”

Tammy’s hand came to rest on her shoulder, providing no comfort whatsoever. Again, Gabi felt alone, the numbness crawling under her skin, trying to take over.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Tammy nudged around her to grab the keyboard. Her fingers clicked over the buttons, each soft tap increasing Gabi’s anxiety.

“I don’t think…” Her words drifted away when an image of Blake came on screen, an acoustic guitar cradled in his lap. He wore a black Reckless Beat T-shirt, his arm tattoos on display along with his leather wrist band. His lips moved, addressing a beautiful, dark haired woman who sat beside him, with Mason at his other side. “Turn it up. Turn it up
.
”

Tammy clicked on the volume, drawing her attention to the date the video was uploaded—yesterday—and already there were over twenty thousand views.

“Are you ready?” the woman’s soft lilt whispered.

Blake nodded, brushing his fingers along the guitar strings. The delicate noise made Gabi’s heart flutter, and she sat stunned in silence, watching his every movement. She loved his hands, the way they flowed effortlessly over the instrument, creating a heavenly sound. Then he began to sing, and the air rushed from her lungs.

“Wow,” Tammy spoke on an exhalation. “Just…wow.”

“Shh.” Gabi didn’t want to miss a thing. She’d never heard him sing before, not alone anyway. His voice was raw and gravel rich, the masculine tone entirely hypnotic. Mason and the woman backed up his vocals in a soft melody, repeating lyrics, heightening the emotion.

You’re my passionate addiction, the only high I crave…

Blake stared at his guitar, his shoulders slumped, both hands working with synchronized beauty. She wanted to graze her fingers over the dark stubble lining his jaw, to run her hands through the thick lengths of his hair.

Colors have faded. Nothing matters anymore…

Her head told her to look away, yet her adoration for him wouldn’t allow it. She missed him, loved him. So much it would never stop hurting.

I’m torn apart, broken and bruised, yet it doesn’t compare to the way I treated you.

Mason tapped his foot, creating a tender beat while Blake sang louder, more emotional. The sound hummed in her ears, warming her frigid limbs. At one point his voice cracked and Gabi held her breath, unable to function through her sorrow.

I won’t stay away. I’ll be back for you someday.

Until then, you keep the shattered pieces of my heart in your hands.

Blake gave a final strum of his guitar and glanced at the camera. The corner of his lips tilted in a sad smile, his midnight eyes fathomless as he stared into her soul. Then the video faded to black and finally she could breathe again.

“What are you thinking?” Tammy asked.

Gabi shrugged and reached across the counter for a tissue. “He’s a musician. Writing songs is a part of the job description.” She didn’t want to dissect his reasons for writing this particular song when she knew he didn’t often contribute lyrically to Reckless Beat. Her mind had already started pounding with questions she couldn’t answer, and after day upon day of suffering over him, she now craved the numbness she had become accustomed to.

“You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not.” Gabi pushed from her chair. “He hasn’t bothered to call me since I left the US. Why should this change the way I feel?” Yes it seemed ridiculous, even to her ears, yet a simple phone call would’ve meant so much more. Gabi didn’t wait for a reply. “I’m going to lunch.”

Tammy nodded, still staring at her with pity. Damn, she was sick of that look—from her friends, her parents, herself when she looked in the mirror.

Grabbing her new phone off the counter, she strode outside. The thought of food turned her stomach. What she needed was the comfort of the ocean. As she made her way across the road to the steps leading to the beach, the warm sea breeze blew the hair from her face, but it didn’t calm her. At the bottom step, she kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes in the sand.

Still nothing.

All her life the sea had soothed her. The rush of the swell, the crush of the waves. It was home. Now it only served to remind her of what she’d once had. Blake’s face taunted her every time she glanced toward the water. The sound of his voice echoed amongst the people when she swam. It no longer comforted her. Nothing did.

She missed him too much to let the pain fade away.

Heaving a sigh, she sat down on the sand in her grey suit skirt. She wished he would’ve called before releasing the video. Maybe then she’d believe he’d written it to win her back, not because of a publicity stunt.

Only he hadn’t contacted her at all, and she didn’t know what to do about it. If she called him, she’d regret it. She ran after him last time. She would never respect herself or any future relationship if she had to do it again.

Her phone began to sweat in her hand and she glanced down at the screen, hoping for answers. “I should move on.” She spoke the words aloud, making the statement real. But how could she let Blake go? She believed he loved her, only his commitment didn’t seem as strong as hers.

“Bloody hell.” She had no idea how to fix things.

“Everything OK, angel?”

She stiffened. Surely that wasn’t his voice. Slowly she glanced over her shoulder, and her breath caught at the sight of him. “Blake?”

His lips curved. “Yeah, gorgeous. It’s me.” He stood there, his hands in his jeans pockets, a casual black collared shirt untucked at his waist, and the silver studs on his wrist bands glinting in the sun.