Passionate Addiction (33 page)

She faltered. Stopped.

The angel was a symbol of their friendship, of the loyalty between them—a loyalty that had crumpled. She wasn’t strong enough to do this, to love him one last time before she walked away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and climbed off him.

“Gabi, wait.” His arm came around her waist. “It’s OK. We don’t have to do this, just…”

She stiffened when his head came to rest against the small of her back, and he released a pained breath.

“Just let me hold you for a while.”

Gabi sank back into the mattress, facing away from him, the warmth fading from her body, allowing the hollowness to seep back in. His touch made her weak, vulnerable, and no matter how much her head demanded she walk away now, her heart wanted one more touch, one more kiss, one more breathy whisper of love against her neck.

She climbed under the covers and Blake did the same. He spooned against her, placing his right arm over her waist, laying his hand against her belly. The tattooed word ‘Reckless’ stared back at her from along his knuckles, taunting her. Yes, she’d been reckless. With her heart, her future, and the one relationship that she couldn’t stand to live without.

But how could she trust him again? The world thought he was in a relationship with Michelle. Fake or not, it still humiliated Gabi in front of her family and friends. He’d withheld the truth and made decisions that affected them both without consulting her. He broke her heart, consumed her with loss, and not once had he called to see what his actions had done.

She wasn’t entirely delusional. Blake would always have her friendship. She knew losing him from her life would be unbearable. But at the same time, she couldn’t imagine giving him back the power to destroy her heart all over again. Her body began to tremble and Blake’s arm tightened around her waist.

“Don’t lose faith in us, Gabi.”

Too late.

Blake was the only man she ever wanted. The only love she’d ever craved. Yet now that the lies had settled and the truth had surfaced, his love no longer seemed enough.

Blake had been awake since the first crack of sunlight filtered around the border of the hotel curtains. He’d spent hours staring at Gabi lying peacefully beside him, wondering how long it would take her to forgive him.

If only she’d let him make love to her. He’d wanted to make her feel good, to show her they were made for each other in the most primitive way, but she’d pushed him away. Even when he’d held her in his arms afterwards, she’d remained rigid, not relaxing until her breathing went heavy with sleep.

He owed her so much, emotionally and financially. She didn’t have the money to jump on a plane and fly to the other side of the world, yet she had. For him. And how had he repaid her?

He sighed and rested back against his pillow. The money was an easy fix. He had her bank account details and would transfer funds when he got home. The emotional problems would take longer to mend. Much, much longer.

His phone rang, splitting the silence with the Jaws theme song and startling Gabi to consciousness. The tone belonged to Leah, someone who knew better than to call him at such an early hour.

“Sorry, angel.” He scooted from the bed and grabbed his pants off the floor, reaching into the pocket to retrieve his phone. “I should’ve turned it off.”

He contemplated hitting reject, but thought better of it. Leah didn’t make a habit of calling without a work related reason. Clicking connect, he raised the phone to his ear. “It’s kinda early, Lee.”

“Where are you?” Her words were frantic.

“I’m umm…” He glanced at Gabi who had the sheet clutched to her chest, her eyes not meeting his gaze. “I’m still at The Plaza with Gabi. Why?”

“What happened last night?” There was a pleading tone to her voice, a mixture of panic and concern that unsettled him.

“I needed to speak to Gabi. Is this about bribing the hotel receptionist for a room key? I know it was wrong, and I’ll speak to the manager if I have to.”

“Blake…”

The silence that followed sent a shiver down his spine.

“Leah, talk to me.”

“Turn on the TV.”

“What channel?” He pivoted on his toes in search of the remote, finding it on the coffee table. “What’s going on?”

“What happened between you and Michelle last night?”

Oh, fuck.
She’d gone public. “Jesus Christ.” He turned on the television and threw the remote back onto the table so he could rub his now aching forehead. He should’ve known better than to think Michelle had quietly left his life. “We need to talk.”

“Oh, god, Blake, please don’t tell me it’s true.”

His heart clenched. “I’m sorry. I was stupid but it was a long time ago.”

“A long time ago?” Her voice broke. “Every reporter in New York is saying it happened last night.”

“What?” His voice rose. “No. That’s a load of shit. I haven’t done drugs in years.” He rushed to pick up the remote and scan for a news channel.

“Drugs?” Leah asked. “What drugs? I’m talking about the physical abuse against Michelle Clarkson last night.”

He stumbled back, his calves hitting the coffee table and planting him on his ass as the television hit a news feed. A video of Michelle played on the screen. Someone was escorting her into the emergency department of a hospital, the sky still dark with night.

“Holy. Shit.”

Gabi gasped from behind him, and he turned to find her gaze on the television, her face now pale, making the shadows under her eyes more pronounced.

“I don’t want to ask, Blake, because I know you, and I’d never think you were capable of something like this, but I have to ask because it’s my job. I need to know. Please tell me you didn’t hurt her?” Leah’s words became faster, between panted breaths as if she were running.

“No! God, no!” He would never hurt a woman. Not even one like Michelle.

“OK. Good. Glad to hear it. Now which room are you in? I’m on my way to the Plaza.”

Blake recited the room number and stumbled to his feet, beginning to pace. Leah was going to kill him. Slowly. With something blunt. “Leah?”

“Yeah?” The echo of traffic came through the line.

“You better pick up Mason on the way. I’ve got some things I need to tell you both.”

She sighed. “Sure. We’ll be there soon.”

He disconnected the call and turned, needing the reassurance that Gabi’s presence always brought. Only she wasn’t there. The soft click of the bathroom door hit him with the force of an uppercut. She’d seen the news feed, overheard his conversation, and yet, she still walked away.

***

Gabi had taken her time in the shower, finally getting out to dress in the loose fitting jeans and comfortable jumper she’d swiped from her suitcase while Blake was on the phone. Now she sat on the lowered toilet seat, her thighs raised to her chest, her arms hugging them close, waiting for the minutes to tick by.

Morning hadn’t brought the clarity she’d hoped for. Sleep hadn’t taken away the pain. It was all still there, weighing down her chest, pulsing through her veins with every broken heartbeat.

She knew now that Blake hadn’t cheated on her, but he’d shut her out. Betrayed her trust. And no amount of sleep would change that. He wanted to fix his problems by himself? Fine. With the tense call this morning and the topic of news on the television, it seemed he had a lot to deal with. So she would respect his wishes and stick to her plan, leaving on today’s flight back to Sydney. No matter how much it pained her to turn her back on him.

“Gabi.” Blake rapped softly on the door. “Leah and Mason are on their way over. I need to speak to you before they get here.”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” she lied.

She already assumed Leah and Mason were on their way, and she planned to hide until they arrived. Even though curiosity demanded she find out what his latest problems were, it would be an opportune time to leave while Blake was distracted. She only hoped they wouldn’t be too much longer. Although the thought of food made her nauseous, her stomach growled in frustration.

“Gabi, I need to use the bathroom.”

Shit.
“I’m coming.” She sagged in defeat and stood. The partially steamed mirror taunted her. No amount of make-up had been able to hide her sorrow. It still clung to the puffy bags under her eyes.

With a deep breath, she pushed at the door handle and walked into the suite. She kept her gaze averted from Blake’s dominating form, but his hand caught hers, pulling her back. He didn’t speak. He simply tugged her into his chest, increasing her misery when he hugged her with gentle arms, resting his face in her hair.

She ignored his heat, the lingering scent of aftershave that she always associated with passion, and stared at the pocket of his black collared shirt. He’d put his clothes from last night back on, his tailored pants belted and buckled, while his shirt fell open, exposing his muscled stomach. He had no buttons. Well, he did, they were just strewn over the floor.

Time passed, each second making it harder to keep her hands at her sides. She wanted to claim his affection, to grasp it with everything she had and carry it home with her. Finally, she gave up trying to fight it. With heavy arms, she circled his waist, leaning her head into his neck.

Goodbye, Blake.

She clutched him tighter, listening to the faint beat of his heart, the pained exhalations of breath. In time they would regain the friendship that had been shattered—the trust that had been lost. She would forgive him, and they could go back to the way things were before they met in person.

A knock sounded at the door, startling her.

Blake didn’t move, he only squeezed harder, moving his hand into the back of her hair. “I love you, angel.”

Her breath hitched, smothered by another knock at the door.

“Blake?” Leah’s voice called from the hall.

Gabi lowered her arms and stepped back with straightened shoulders. Without making eye contact, she went to her pajamas, grabbing them off the floor while Blake strode to the door. Quickly she shoved her clothes into the front pocket of her suitcase and rushed to the bathroom to retrieve her personal items.

Leah and Mason’s voices filtered in while she grabbed her things—toothbrush, comb, make-up, and finally the necklace Blake gave her for her birthday. She held the charms in her palm and worked the chain through her fingers. The gift had given her strength over the past weeks. She had toyed with the turtle and guitar pick whenever they spoke on the phone and laid awake at night running her fingers over the smooth gold. Now the thought of putting it on tightened her throat.

Be strong.

Thrusting the necklace into her jeans pocket, she gripped the vanity. This wouldn’t break her. She would go home, concentrate on her studies, work her ass to the bone, and move on with her life.

Oh, who was she kidding?

Blake
was
her life and had been for a long time. But she vowed to respect herself enough to gain the space needed to clear her head. One day soon, he would figure out his life. Hopefully by then Gabi would’ve gotten over the way he left her behind.

Clutching the beauty case under her arm, she strode back into the quiet suite and faltered. Blake sat on the end of the mattress, his head in his hands, entirely broken. Gabi swallowed down her need to go to him and glanced at Leah and Mason, finding them watching her with expressions mixed with concern and confusion. She ignored their scrutiny, giving Leah a brief smile before continuing to her suitcase, stuffing her personal items into the main compartment and re-zipping it. Then she reached for her ankle boots on the floor beside her and yanked them on.

“What are you doing?” Blake raised his head and pinned her with his gaze.

Gabi focused on her boots, pulling up the zippers before making eye contact. “I’m leaving.” Thankfully her voice didn’t waver. After the days of heartache, finally she’d gained the strength to carry on without tears.

Blake stood, his brow now creased. “Please, Gabi. Don’t go. Not yet. Give me a chance to figure things out. Then we can talk.”

She shook her head. Her mind was made up. A relationship was about sharing burdens, about sticking together through the hard times, the worst of times, no matter what. “No. I’m going home.”

He moved to her, huffing in frustration. “
Please
.”

His plea almost undid her, almost stole her strength. Before she buckled, she reached into her pocket and sucked in a steadying breath. “Here.” She pulled out the necklace and went to place it in his outstretched hand. “When you gave this to me, you told me the charms were to serve as a reminder of you when we were apart.”

He pulled away, and she gripped his wrist with her free hand, firmly placing the necklace in his palm.

“I no longer want a reminder.” She never needed one. He was always in her heart. Now the necklace choked her, weighing her down, taunting her with what she couldn’t have.

“No.” He thrust it back at her. “Don’t do this. I’ll sort it out. I’ll fix things. Just give me some time.” His eyes pleaded along with his words. “I can’t do this without you.”