Paradisal Tragedy (7 page)

Eight

Waking up the next morning, Annabella turned to find herself next to her best friend. They’d stayed up for hours just talking the way they used to.

Aubrey told her about the guy she’d been seeing, although she never mentioned a name. It turned out she was falling in love for the first time. Annabella felt happy for her friend. She was glad to see
someone’s
life going great. Aubrey talked for a long time about how Annabella needed to give Matt the time a day.

Annabella loved her best friend more than anything, but deep down she just wished she would stop pushing Matt on her. They were over and the sooner Matt accepted that, the better for him. She’d never be able to love him. 

Getting out of bed, she quickly showered and dress and then sat down at her desk and began to write in her diary.

***

Dear Diary,

She keeps pushing me to give Matt another chance. Doesn’t she understand? I’m broken. I’ve lost the ability to love
.
I can’t love anyone, not even myself. The thought of someone else touching my body in such an intimate way, makes my skin crawl.

I’m glad that Aubrey and I made up, but she just doesn’t understand. How could she? I feel trapped inside of someone else’s body, someone else’s life. How in the hell do I get better when I can still feel him everywhere?

***

“What are you doing?” Annabella heard Aubrey call from over her shoulder, and she hesitantly closed the diary.

“I’m not doing anything. I’m going to go downstairs and get some breakfast though,” Annabella informed her as she put her diary in one of her desk drawers and locked it. That would be a disaster waiting to happen.

“I’ll come with you,” she said. “So what’s on the agenda today? “

“I have plans with Travis,” Annabella commented as they headed down the hallway to the top of the stairs.

“What about us? I thought you said we could spend more time together?” Aubrey asked in a disapproving voice. Annabella knew that deep down it had nothing to do with her not spending time with her, as it did that she was going to spend time with Travis rather than Matt.

“I’ll be back soon, I can’t bail on him. I promised, and I always keep my promises,” she said with a smile.

“Why not? You said it yourself, you barely even know him.” Aubrey’s defense was feeble. In the end she knew Annabella would go.

“Travis is my friend just as much as you are. In fact, he’s the only friend I have here. I’m not going to leave him hanging, and he wouldn’t do that to me. You know, you’d actually like him, if you just gave him a chance,” Annabella said harshly.

Aubrey didn’t dislike Travis because of anything she heard or assumed about him, she only disliked him because she felt like he was the only thing standing in the way of Annabella and Matt. “I doubt that. He comes off kind of cocky. “

“He’s not though. Deep down inside of that thick skull of his, he’s a decent guy. You just have to give him a chance.” There’s was a time when she thought Travis was a self-centered, cocky bastard, but now she was about to go face one of her biggest fears with him. Heights.

“I doubt that. When will you be back?”

“To be honest, I’m not even sure. But I’ll try to make it soon,” Annabella called from her bathroom as she dressed.

“Where are you going?”

“Cliff jumping,” Annabella replied, her heart racing with thrill. She was excited yet terrified. Ever since the incident she’d been so afraid to live, but Travis was bringing something out in her she thought she never had. Courage.

“You cannot be serious.”

“I am,” Annabella told her and when they reached the kitchen, she was faced with Travis.

“What are you doing here?” Annabella asked him. She hadn’t even realized he was there.

“I’m waiting for you, remember we have plans,” Travis said, moving away from Ryan to close the distance between him and Annabella.

“You could have called, or texted,” she suggested.

“What’s wrong with surprise?” Travis asked in a mocking tone.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, but if you would have called I would have been ready by now.”

“I suppose that’s true, but it’s okay, I had your brother of there to keep me company,” Travis said. He was surprised how much he really did like Ryan.

“Well do you want something for breakfast?” Annabella offered, walking to the fridge to take out a bag of bagels. She held out a bottle of water.

“I already ate, but thank you anyway,” Travis said, taking the bottle.

“So what do the two of you have planned today? “ Ryan asked as he took a bite of the bagel he’d made

“I’m taking your sister cliff diving,” Travis said, his eyes only Annabella as she ate.

“Cliff jumping? What in the world are you thinking?” Ryan scolded Travis.

“I’m thinking it’ll be fun. And she says that she hasn’t done anything fun since she got here. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t change that?” Travis said playfully as he took a sip of his water.

“Aren’t there other things you could do for fun without trying to get my sister killed?”

“It’s totally safe. It’s not completely high you know. People do it all the time.”

“You better take care of my little sister, or I swear to God, I’ll kill you.” Annabella smiled at her protective big brother. She knew that no matter what, she’d always have her brother on her side. When all else failed, her brother would always be the one to take care of her.

“Ry, it’ll be okay. I promise, I’m not even completely sure I’m going cliff diving, but I promised to go check it out. I never once promised to jump,” she said, aiming her last statement at Travis.

“It’ll be fun,” Travis teased. He felt his phone vibrate. As he took it out, there was a text from Marissa.

[Marissa:] I miss you. Please, give me another chance.

Sighing, he put the phone back into his pocket. He didn’t have time for this. The sight of Marissa made him sick. He had nothing to say to her, and he wanted nothing more than for her to just leave him alone.

“Are you okay? “ Annabella questioned, observing his sudden change of attitude, breaking him from his thoughts

“Yeah, I’m fine, ready to go? “ Travis asked, shaking off the feeling of disgust left over from Marissa.

“You brought your bike?” Annabella asked in a disapproving tone as Ryan, Matt, Chelsea, Maxie and Aubrey followed them outside.

“I did,” Travis told her with a smirk. He knew exactly how she’d react.

“And you expect me to get on the back of that thing?” Annabella asked, crossing her arms and giving him a death glare.

“I do. Come on, Bella, live a little.”

“If I had a death wish I would, but I’m not ready to die yet,” Annabella said. The truth was she was already dead, at least on the inside.

“Come on, you know it’s tempting,” Travis said, as he leaned against his bike.

“If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t have to,” Aubrey hissed.

Standing with her arms crossed, Annabella’s expression softened. Live a little? Could she do that? Did she want to do that? Could she get on the back of his bike and be okay with being so close to him?

Live a little
.

She’d been in the dark for so long, maybe it was time for her to take a chance.

“Give me that,” Annabella said, holding her hands out for the helmet Travis held.

“Let me help you,” Travis said, buckling the helmet in place on her head.

“Are you sure about this Bella?” she heard Ryan ask from over her shoulder.

“I am,” she assured him then turned to Travis. “Where is your helmet?”

“I don’t need one,” he said.

“Bella are you crazy you cannot get on that thing. You could get seriously hurt,” Aubrey said.

“Aubrey, calm down, I’ll be fine.”

“Shall we go?” Travis asked, hopping on his bike. Annabella followed suit, wrapping her arms around him.

“Yes.” And then they were gone.

Annabella had to admit that riding down an open highway on a vehicle with no roof or walls was quite the risk. Sure she’d taken her Maserati flying down back roads as fast as she could go tons of times, but this was different.

It was a bike.

She felt excitement rise inside her as Travis began to speed. She felt fearless for the first time in months, and she felt like she could take on the world. Even though she knew this feeling was only temporary, she wanted to embrace it. Wrapping her arms tighter on Travis, she began to feel free, the invisible chains that kept her prisoner to her past came off. The thrill of the ride was exhilarating.

She knew that if it were possible, she’d want to live in this moment forever. The thrill and excitement of speeding down a highway was just enough to pause her pain and hurt for just a little while. She wanted to stay right here, right now.

As the bike began to slow, the feelings came rushing back to her. Everything in her dark world became reality again, rather than something then was just a horrible dream.

“How do you feel?” Travis asked, helping her off the bike. She flinched at his touch.

“I’m good.” When she looked around she was speechless. It was beautiful. He led her to the grass that was before the cliff. It was the different from Florida. Florida was humid and unbearable. Arizona was beautiful. The grass wasn’t dead, as it had been in Florida. The air, while it was warm, also had a breeze to it. The sky was a beautiful shade of blue, as the sun was high enough to shine down.

She looked around the lake and noticed that the cliff went all the way around. It wasn’t too high, but higher then she’d like to be. She was afraid as she looked down. The water was a pretty blue. She could see where the sun’s rays glared off it. Travis stood beside her, except rather than looking at the view he was watching her.

“It’s beautiful,” Annabella told him.

“It is. I liked to come here and think as I do with that other place I took you. However, this place I find more comforting, I like to sit on the edge and get lost in my thoughts,” he explained to her, turning his head to check out the view.

“It really is peaceful here.”

“It is. So what do you say?” Travis asked her hopefully.

“I don’t think I can,” she admitted, feeling the harsh reality coming back to her. She felt hopeless. She couldn’t do this? She wasn’t capable of having fun, not after what happened.

“What are you afraid of?” Travis asked.

“Falling,” she said.

“I’ll protect you, Bella, just give me that chance to do so. Don’t be afraid,” Travis told her, extending a hand toward her. “Trust me. Take my hand. I’ll be with you the entire time.”

She stared at the hand in front of her. Could she take it? How could she possibly do something so crazy? Travis had been nothing but nice to her and something in her was fearful because of it. She liked Travis; he was her friend, and the truth was that she felt good around him. Now here she was hesitant to trust him to stop her from falling. Looking into his eyes, she saw his hope. And she knew he’d never intentionally hurt her. Slowly, she reached her hand out for his and linked their fingers together.

“Are you ready?” he asked her.

“Yes…”

“On three?” Travis suggested.

Nodding, Annabella closed her eyes.

“One,” Travis counted as Annabella’s heart raced faster. “Two, three!” She opened her eyes when they jumped.

Falling from what felt like a thousand feet above, Annabella felt daring. She liked the feeling of living on the edge, it was exciting. As she went under the water, she felt a rush of excitement. If she was counting, it was the one millionth time it happened today. And she’d do anything to keep feeling it.

“That was such a rush,” Annabella said when she surfaced. Turning around in the water, Travis was smirking. His wet hair was pushed back in a way that made him look like a bad boy. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green, his smile as beautiful as she’d never seen.

“Told you it would be fun.”

“It’s the first time I’ve had fun and so long,” Annabella confessed.

“Well, I’m here to make sure you have fun every day from now on. I’m going to make it my personal mission,” he informed her as he began to swim closer. Closer than she could bear.

“Can I ask you something?” Travis asked her seriously.

“Of course,” she told him.

“Why are you so afraid to live?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re so afraid to take risks, but when you do you enjoy them, possibly even more than me. A girl like you should be the one to come up with the thrilling idea,” Travis pointed out.

“I was that girl once, but the thing is Travis, you don’t always stay the person that you want to be. Sometimes things happen, and you’re forced to change. “Annabella explained to him in a heartbreaking tone. It was true, she never wanted to change, and she missed the girl she used to be. She missed her more than anything in the world, but that girl was gone and dead.

“What happened to you that forced you to change?” he asked. It was the one question she hoped he’d never ask.

“Nothing happened to me. I just changed.” She splashed him before the conversation could go any deeper.

“Oh that’s how it is?” Travis splashed back and they got into a full on splash fight, and soon after Travis was too close to her. He put his hand on her stomach, attempting to tickle her.

Memories came flooding back to her. It was dark, he was there. He was touching her. She felt dirty.
Please stop.

“Stop!” Annabella left him in the water, alone and confused.