Paradisal Tragedy (5 page)

The was lost in her thoughts until she bumped into someone and landed hard on her read end. Travis sat beside her on the ground.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” Travis joked, lending her a hand to help her up from the ground.

“Oh, so you’re not going to yell at me and tell me this is entirely my fault?” Annabella said, pulling the ear buds out of her ears.

“Tempting, but no. I was actually going to come by later. You forgot this yesterday.” Travis pulled her phone out of his pocket.

Frowning, she took it. She hadn’t even noticed that she didn’t have it. Travis misinterpreted her expression. “What’s wrong? Oh, is it not yours?”

“It’s not that. It’s just that I didn’t even notice it was gone,” Annabella admitted to the guy standing in front of her. Travis was wearing black running shorts and a grey tank top that showed his muscles. He was pretty buff for his age in her opinion.

“You do now.” He smirked down at her. Upon noticing her distress, he softened his expression and held out the phone.

Annabella sighed and gently took it, careful to not let their hands touch. “Thanks.”

“What’s wrong?” Travis asked.

“It’s nothing, I don’t want to unload my problems on you,” she said. In all honestly, she could really use someone to talk to.

“I’m a great listener. You can tell me, and who knows, maybe if you tell me you’ll feel better. Most important maybe you’ll trust me enough to give us a chance to be friends,” Travis remarked as he led her through the park. They sat at the picnic table where he’d hunted her down to give her the iPod.

“My best friends hate me,” she mumbled, putting her hand to her cheek. She didn’t bother looking at him.

“Why would you think that?” he asked, intrigued. How could anyone hate her? She seemed like a pretty content and giving person. But then again, his judgment about people wasn’t always correct.

“They came to visit, and I have barely spent any time with them. This morning they basically told me they hated the person I’ve become,” she answered calmly. She wanted to contain her emotions even though it hurt like hell that they didn’t like who she was becoming.

“I’m sure they don’t hate you. Maybe they just don’t understand the new you,” Travis suggested. He sounded like he was speaking from experience. Annabella was surprised how easy it was to talk to him.

“Maybe. I don’t know,” she said, giving him a shrug.

“Hey, you’re going to have to be positive; it’ll all work out. And you know what would be even better?” Travis asked.

“What?”

“If you’d give me a chance to be your friend.” He stared intently at her.

“I don’t know. Listen, Travis, I’m no good for you. I’m no good for anyone. I’m not perfect like all those other girls,” she said. Her emotions were starting to overwhelm her.

Of course she wanted a friend; she’d been alone for so long.

“I don’t want perfection, I want the real you. I want to know your hopes, your dreams. I want to get to know the Annabella that lives behind those beautiful blue eyes,” he confessed.

Surprised by his declaration, Annabella wasn’t sure what to say.

“I don’t mean that in a romantic sense you know. I mean I don’t want to get in your pants, if that’s what your silence means. I just want to know you. I think you could use a friend just as much as I could,” Travis told her. “What do you say? Take a chance on me?”

Take a chance? How? How could she take a chance when every time she did, she always ended up hurt? How could she see the good in things when such horrible and terrible things have happened to her? 

“I won’t let you down,” Travis pleaded.

“I don’t know.”

“What are you afraid of?” Travis just wanted to understand.

“I’m afraid to trust you, and then have you end up like everyone else. I don’t want to be let down,” she whispered.

“I won’t let you down, I promise. And if I do, I give you full permission to taze me.” He smirked at her as a way to get her to smile, which she did.

“Fine. We can be friends, but I have just one condition,” Annabella told him seriously.

“What is it?” Travis asked her.

“You have to promise that it won’t go any further, that all we’ll ever be is friends,” Annabella said, trying not to let her fears come out.

“Deal,” Travis said as she offered his hand to her.

“Deal,” she repeated shaking his hand.

“Can I walk you home?” Travis offered. And for the first time, Annabella felt a bit relieved. She wasn’t happy, but she didn’t feel as terrible as she always did on any other day. She knew her friendship with Travis would be a good thing.

Six

“So, what do your parents do?” Travis asked as he and Annabella walked down the street on the way back to her house.

“My father is a neurosurgeon, and my mom is a nurse. It’s how they met actually,” Annabella told him.

“That’s kind of neat.” Travis admitted.

“What about your parents?” In the short amount of time they’d known each other, he’d always been the one to question her, yet she pushed him away, but it occurred to her that she knew next to nothing about Travis.

“My mom’s a lawyer. As for my dad I don’t know. I’ve barely seen him since I was fourteen.” Travis spat.

“Why not?” she asked, surprised. Annabella didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t have both of her parents.

“He cheated on my mom, then left us for the woman, got married and now they live a couple hours away.” Travis mumbled.

“I’m sorry Travis. That’s got to be hard to deal with.”

Travis shrugged. “You get used to it. Pain is something I’ve always known, but I can only let him hurt me if I choose to. I let go of it a long time ago. Everyone suffers; we just have to learn to find our way back to happiness...”

Annabella walked in silence thinking about what Travis said. It was like he was reading her mind and speaking right to her fears. She was suffering, and she couldn’t stop it. She’d been suffering for months, but she couldn’t let it go.
He
was still hurting her, and he’d always be able to hurt her because she couldn’t let go of the past.

“You okay?” Travis asked as he watched her face fall.

“I’m fine, I’m just tired. The run I took is kind of wearing me down right now.” It was a half-lie.

“Do you want to stop for a little bit?” Travis offered.

“No, I’m okay, I can make it. Plus, we’re almost there,” Annabella told him.

“Okay, so what do you say about doing something fun sometime,” Travis suggested.

“I’ve been here for nearly four months, and yet I’ve never seen anything fun to do, Travis.” As she spoke, they came up to her house.

“You just haven’t been hanging around the right people. You stick with me, and you’ll have loads of fun,” he told her with a wink.

“Full of yourself much?”

“No, I just know how to have a good time,” Travis teased with a smirk, his brown hair falling in front of his eyes.

“Alright Mr. Hotshot,” she teased back. “What’s there to do for fun in this town?”

“Well, you’ll just have to trust me and let me show you around tomorrow,” he said.

“And If I said I don’t want to?” She said in a playful tone

“I could always make you.”

“I’d love to see you try,” Annabella dared as they made it to her door. “Would you like to come inside? I can get you some water, and then I can take you home if you want, so you don’t have to run back.”

He just wanted to spend more time with Annabella to get to know her.

“I’d love to come inside, but you don’t have to take me home,” Travis said. He loved the offer, but he was okay to run back.

“Okay. First though, I feel the need to warn you, you might get scolded by my brother.” She opened the door only to be met with her three best friends, her brother, and Matt. They all stared as Annabella offered Travis water.

“Well, who’s this?” Ryan said as he came to the counter where Annabella and Travis sat caught up in conversation.

“This is Travis, and he’s a friend. Travis this is my brother Ryan.”

Ryan smiled as he extended his hand. He was glad that his sister was finally making friends. His parents told him she never hung out with anyone. “It’s nice to meet you, Travis. Would you like to stay for dinner tonight? We’re ordering pizza.”

“You don’t have to.” Annabella said, not sure if he’d want to or not

“Do you want me to?” Travis asked with a smirk. Looking to her friends, she felt their judgment.

“I’d love it if you stayed.”

“Then I’ll stay.” He smiled.

“Bella, can I talk to you for a sec?” Aubrey cut in. She was clearly angry and didn’t bother trying to hide it.

Looking up, she knew that it was time to face her once and for all. “I’ll be right back. Be nice to him,” she said to her brother. She then went upstairs to wait for the intervention that was her friends.

“What the hell is going on?” Aubrey asked. Any trace of a supportive friend was gone.

“What are you talking about?” Annabella asked, genuinely confused.

“What’s with that guy? You said you were going for a run, not to go find the first guy you meet and bring him home to make us upset,” Aubrey said.

“What is your problem? That guy has a name. Travis. And for your information, I met him a few days ago, and he happens to be my friend who I accidentally ran into when I was running,” Annabella informed her matter-of-factly. With everything she was going through, the last thing she needed right now was the high school drama that her best friend was throwing at her.

“So you’re going to blow us off for him?”

“Did I say I was going to blow you off? No, ‘cause I’m not. There’s plenty of room for all of you!” Annabella was fed up with everything.

“Anna,” She started to say.

“Don’t call me Anna. Never call me that again,” Annabella said. Shutting her eyes, she turned around and left the room. She needed to get away. She needed to forget.

“Annabella, why are you being so distant? We used be so close, you used to tell us everything, and now you’re this completely different person. I want the old you back. The one who didn’t blow us off for some boy she barely knows,” Chelsea snapped as Annabella came closer to her.

“Is this what you came here for, huh? To tell me how much you don’t like who I’ve become?” Annabella questioned. She was hurt. Sure, she’d changed, but didn’t she have that right? Didn’t she have the right to not be the same, cheerful, happy girl she once was?

“No, we came here to spend time with you, but you bailed on us,” Maxie hissed.

“I had something to do yesterday and then Travis and I just got caught up with the time. It wasn’t intentional. God, I’m so sick and tired of all of you being so judgmental. If you guys were my friends, you would just accept the fact that I’m never going to be that girl again.” Annabella was serious. “None of you are my parents, and I don’t have to explain myself to you; I
won’t
explain myself to you. I’m done with all of this, so if you can’t accept me now, then just go home,” Annabella told them. “And right now I want you all to get out of my room.”

“Anna….” Aubrey began to say but Annabella cut her off, furious.

“
Stop calling me that!
” Her words came out more violently than she meant for them to. “Just stop. I’m so tired of you guys making me feel so bad about everything, and I won’t allow it anymore. You can stop trying to make me feel bad, because I just don’t care anymore.” And it was true. She didn’t care anymore. She had the right to feel however she damn well pleased. For God’s sake, she was
raped
. Sure, they didn’t know that, but didn’t it give her the right to be angry at the world for a little while?

“We don’t mean to, but you’ve changed so much, and we don’t even know how to reach you, or why you’re even becoming this person.”  

“Maybe I was just tired of who I used to be. You need to just leave me alone, all of you because right now I can’t stand to be in same room as you. I can see the disappointment in your eyes, I can hear the judgment in your voice, and I’m not going to be treated this way in
my
house. So get out of my room. I’m done with all of this! Just get out.”

Without saying a word, the three of them stepped out of her room, keeping their eyes trained away from her. Annabella sat in tears on her bed. It wasn’t a secret that she’d changed but she just thought that out of everyone, her friends would be the ones who would end up being there for her. She never expected them to make her feel like she was doing something wrong. The tears began to pour out more violently as her bedroom door opened and she came face to face with her brother.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Ryan asked, plopping on her bed beside her. He wrapped his arms around his little sister.

“They hate me,” she sobbed through her hands.

“No, baby girl, they just don’t understand. They don’t hate you. Shh.” He comforted her with his love and support.

“Why do they have to make me feel like I’m not good enough? Don’t they get that I know I’ve changed? I didn’t plan on it.” While she spoke, her tears began to dry.

“Why did you?” Ryan asked, in hopes that his sister would finally tell him the truth after months of wondering.

“I just did; there wasn’t a reason.”

“Okay, but Travis is probably down there being yelled at by your friends, we should go down there and save him,” Ryan joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Somehow, I doubt he needs saving; he can take care of himself,” she told him as they reached the last step and were faced with eyes on them. She could feel the icy stares from her friends, but she was done caring. If they thought she’d changed for the worst, then she was going to give them what they seemed to want. She’d change more.

“Are you okay?” Travis whispered, so only she could hear as she stood in front of him.

Nodding her head she gave him a small smile.

“Want to get out of here?” he offered, willing to take her anywhere her heart desired.

She thought about it for a while before answering. “Yes.”

Turning to her brother, who sat across the room with Matt. “Ryan, I’m going out. I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up. And stay out of my room, all of you,” She said, but the last part of her statement was only meant for Aubrey, Chelsea and Maxie.

***

Travis and Annabella sat face to face on his couch in his garage. He’d asked her where she wanted go, and the only response he got was
away, far away
, so he took her to his house. He knew something was bothering her, but he wasn’t sure if he really had a right to ask.

Ever since Annabella had come downstairs from her room, crying after talking with her friends, Travis had felt something change in him. For the first time in his life, he wanted to help someone other than himself. For once it wasn’t about sex with a girl; it was about whatever it took for a smile to appear on her face. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand any of it; he’d never felt the strong need to make someone happy as he did with Annabella.

“Can I ask you something?” Travis asked before his thoughts could progress into any further thoughts that he had no business thinking.

“Sure,” Annabella replied in a soft whisper, skeptical about what was on his mind right now.

“Why were you crying?”

“I didn’t think it was noticeable. My friends hate me. I’ve changed and they can’t accept it,” Annabella explained. She couldn’t really blame them for hating her; she’d drastically gone from being happy and cheerful to angry and depressing.

“It was very noticeable. I’m sorry about your friends, but hey, you always have me. I know that’s a weird thing to say considering that we just started to be friends, but Bella, I’ll always be here for you,” Travis told her, setting his hand over hers.

“Thank you Travis, I wish they didn’t hate me though,” she admitted, not really sure why she was telling Travis. For months she didn’t talk to anyone about things she was going through. She buried it deep inside her mind so no one would ever be able to figure it out.

“I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you need me. I even put my phone number into your phone. Don’t worry about what your friends think; most people don’t like change, but it’s up to you. You are going to be whoever you want to be, so don’t let them stop you. Don’t let them bring you down, okay?” Travis was hopeful that he could get through to her.

“It’s so hard not to, I’ve always been there for them all, and the moment I need them to be there for me, they won’t have it,” Annabella said, eyes stinging with tears once more.

“I know, it’ll be okay. What about Matt? What’s the deal with him?” Travis asked, this was the very conversation she was hoping to avoid.

“Before I moved, he and I were dating,” Annabella said, surprised by how much she was revealing.

Travis sat in the silence as he absorbed the truth behind Annabella and Matt’s relationship. The dark part of this soul found the reality of what they had been to be disturbing to him.

“Did you love him?” Travis asked her before he even realized the words coming out of his mouth.

Annabella sighed as the realization hit her. “I thought there was a time when maybe I could love him, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t, and I don’t. He was my best friend, and we had a complicated relationship. He was that friend that you’re not sure how you feel about, so you try to give it a chance, and it worked for a while, but then it just didn’t.”

“Have you ever loved anyone?” Travis asked, surprised by how many questions he’d asked her, and how open and honest she managed to be with him.

“No, I haven’t,” Annabella spoke regretfully. She realized that she never would either. The ability to be able to love was taken away from her. How could she love someone if she couldn’t bear to be touched in a loving way? “Have you?”

“No, I can count on one hand how many actual girlfriends I’ve had. Just one. After that, I just kind of started sleeping around. I’ve never been in love.” Travis told her.

“Not at all?” Annabella asked in surprise

“No, most of it was all about sex for me to be honest. I know that sounds horrible, but it was.”

“It doesn’t sound horrible. I get it,” Annabella said. She could understand not wanting to have an emotional connection with anyone. It’s a pain that she lived with every single day.

“So, I was thinking, since you’ve never done anything fun since you been in this town. Tomorrow, we should make a day of fun,” Travis said.

“Like?” Annabella asked, daring him to continue.

“How about cliff diving?” he offered. “Let’s take a risk. I’ll be there with you the entire time.” He somehow made her feel safe with his words. It was the first time she could look at another male, other than her brother, Matt, and her father and not be afraid.

“I don’t know,” she hesitated.