Paradisal Tragedy (17 page)

Twenty-One

Annabella sat in her room as thought about the past few months. It had been two months since she was completely honest with Travis. She felt the weight of the world lift from her shoulders. It was like she could breathe again.

It had been so long since she was able to be completely honest and open with someone that she forgot how comforting it felt to not be alone. She remembered the day she told Travis about the rape as if it was yesterday. He didn’t look at her with pity, regret, or disgust. He just looked at her with a look that said he wanted to make her pain go away.

After the tears and all her confessions, he promised to find a way to make her feel safe. He vowed it. He took her to a shooting rage and taught her to shoot. He wanted to make sure no matter what that she’d never feel as vulnerable as she did the night she was taken advantage of.

As she stood in front of the mirror that stood by her dresser, she felt happy. She couldn’t explain it, but after finally being able to completely open up with Travis, it felt like the past couldn’t control her anymore, and
he
couldn’t hurt her anymore.

“What are you doing sweetheart?” her father asked, coming into her room.

Annabella became nervous as her father came to sit on the futon. They still hadn’t made up. He was still dead set on trying to tear her from Travis, but she wasn’t going to budge. She wasn’t going to let her father take her happiness away. Travis saved her life, and for that, she was going to fight for him until the day she couldn’t fight anymore.

“What do you want Daddy?” she asked, irritably.

“I guess I deserve that. I came to talk about Travis,” he said.

“You can save your breath if that’s what you’ve come to talk about. I don’t want to hear it. You can go now,” she told him, walking to her desk to sit down.

“I came to apologize, Bella.”

“You did? “ She couldn’t contain the shock in her voice.

“I did. Baby come sit. I’m sorry for everything. I have nothing against Travis. In fact, from what I hear he’s a decent young man. I just love you so much and I want to protect you from everything. You’ve been so distant and broken for the past few months, and I didn’t want him to hurt you any worse than you already were,” Nicholas told her as she scooted her chair closer to him.

“Daddy, Travis isn’t going to hurt me. I know that you’re afraid of that but he’s helped me so much in the short few months that I’ve known him. He’s good to me. He treats me so well. He likes me a lot and I like him just as much,” Annabella commented as she thought about all the times she’d spent with him.

 “Bella, you’re my little girl and I guess I have to accept that you’re growing up. More than that, these past several months I’ve seen you change into someone completely different than who you used to be. Whether you want to admit that you were in pain or not, I know my little girl and I know when she’s hurting,” Nicholas told his daughter as he took her hands in his. He knew deep down that he’d been wrong, but he was too stubborn to admit that. He had nothing against Travis. He just didn’t want to see Annabella suffer any more than she had to.

“Daddy, Travis is different. I feel safe with him. He wants all my burdens to be his as well. He makes me happier than I’ve been in so long, and I don’t want to give that up, I can’t give that up. He’s saved my life, and now I’m going to fight for him just as much as he’s fought for me in my darkest days,” Annabella announced.

“And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. The past few months, I’ve been very unsupportive, and I know that. I just love you so much and the thought of you growing up scares me so much. I don’t want to let you go. I want you to say my little princess forever,” he confessed, his eyes soft.

“Daddy you don’t have to let me go. Not yet anyway. I love you so much and I was really hurt when you weren’t there for me. You’ve always been my rock and then one day you just weren’t anymore. You kept trying to tear me from Travis. And then you made me feel like you didn’t want me to be happy, like my happiness didn’t matter anymore. “

 “Sweetheart, I don’t ever want you to feel like that. I never want you to feel like your happiness doesn’t matter to me, because it does, it matters more to me than anything else. I know that behavior says otherwise, but I made a mistake. You’re my little girl, my only little girl, and that’s what makes it so hard to accept the fact that you’re dating. With Matt it was different. He was a good kid and all, but I couldn’t see that lasting. There was just something about him that made it impossible to see you with him forever. Travis, on the other hand, I can imagine… With him, it’s pretty serious.” Nicholas spoke with a tone in his voice that made Annabella want to run into his arms and tell him that he’d never lose her.

“Daddy, it’s very serious. I can do something with Travis I haven’t been able to do for so long, and that’s be myself,” she explained. The last thing she ever needed was for her parents to find out the truth of that night.

“You should invite him over for dinner sometime this week. Then, we’ll get to know him and see if he’s right for our Bella,” her father told her before kissing her on the cheek.

“Daddy, thank you! Oh, thank you so much!” she cheered. She loved that her father was finally coming around.

“Baby, anything for you. Now, what do you say to a good old fashion run, like we used to before we moved here? I have the day off from the hospital today and I thought I could spend it with my baby girl.”

“I’d love that Daddy. And I’d love to spend the day with you. I’m glad you’ve decided to give Travis a chance the way you once gave Matt a chance. Daddy, I love you so much,” Annabella said as she moved into his lap, like she did so many times when she was a kid. It was different this time; she wanted to hold on for dear life. She now knew what it meant not to have a father, like Travis, and she’d do whatever it took to always make sure her father was present in her life.

***

 
Travis sat at the kitchen counter of his kitchen as he waited for his mother to come back downstairs. She’d told him that she needed to talk to him about something important, and the statement didn’t sit well with him. The last time she said that to him was when she was telling him that his father left. He remembered that day as if it was yesterday. He remembered the pain that stabbed right in his heart, as well as the tears that never stopped flowing.

More than his own pain he remembered the pain of hearing the cries down the hall as his mother cried herself to sleep every single night. That was the first time he ever felt hatred for his father. How he could hurt the one woman who gave him everything was beyond him.

“Trav,” Casey said as she grabbed a coffee mug and filled it up. Her blonde hair was held up in a ponytail, and she wore one of her fancy court suits. It was a black skirt with a white shirt, and a black overcoat as a jacket.

“What is it Mom? What’s so important?” he asked, cutting straight to the point.

“I just want to say something before I tell you anything. Try to be open minded about this,” she started as she stood from across where he sat.

“Just spit it out, Mom. Rip the Band-Aid off. I know it’s bad, or at least something I’m not going to want to hear, so just tell me what the hell it is,” Travis snapped. It was very rare when he would snap at his mother, but he needed her to just get on with the point of all this.

“Your father wants to see you,” she finally said, after many moments of silence.

Travis said nothing. He just stared at his mother. His father wanted to see him? After four years with barely one word,
now
he wanted to come back into his life? Was his new life not enough anymore?

Travis didn’t say anything as his mother continued to talk about how his father stopped by her office, gave her his number and begged for her forgiveness. He couldn’t believe any of this was happening. He’d finally gotten his life back on track.

“There’s one more thing that you should know, Travis,” his mother told him as she snapped her fingers trying to get his attention.

Blinking in surprise, he shrugged off his thoughts. “What is it Mom?”

“He has another family. Of course you knew he was married, but what you didn’t know was that he has kids, other than you. Three of them,” Casey told him nervously.

Kids? He could be a father to those kids, but he didn’t have the decency to be one to him? Bastard.

“How old are they?” Travis asked.

“Two, four and five.”

“Five? He only left four years ago,” Travis said as the painful realization set in “He had another kid when he left?”

“He did. Travis, you have to know that he loves you. No matter what he’s done, this is your chance to repair your relationship with him. Don’t let this get in the way of that.” Casey was actually defending him.

“Excuse me? Are you seriously defending him? After everything he’s done, you’re going to stand here and tell me to give him a chance?” Travis asked in disbelief. How could she of all people be defending him?

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, but he thought it was what was best for you,” she said.

“Just stop,” Travis said, moving from his chair and throwing it across the room. “I heard you cry for years after he left. Every
single
night. How can you stand here telling me to give him another chance?” Travis questioned, trying to figure out his mother’s motives.

“I believe in forgiveness, and so should you.”

“I don’t believe it in where it concerns him. He had a kid, Mom! A kid before he even left us!” Travis started. He had one more painful realization. “You knew you, didn’t you? You knew that he had another child before he left.”

Her silence gave him the answer he needed. How could she keep this from him? How in the world did the one person he trusted and believed in the most in this world, betray his trust? His parents had been lying to him for the past four years.

He’d expected this from his father. His mother was another story. She’d always put him first, always there for him when he needed her, Casey rarely ever lied to him, but now he’d found that she’d been lying to him for the past four years and it sent a pain right through his heart.

“How could you?” he whispered, disappointment on his face.

“Travis, I just wanted to protect you,” she tried to defend herself.

“No, you should have told me and you didn’t. I’m not a child. There were plenty of opportunities for you to tell me. How in the hell could you keep something that is so important from me?” Travis shouted at his mother. He never yelled at her, but today he’d had enough.

“Travis, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you…”

Cutting her off immediately, he pounded his fist on the counter, making her jump. “You did though, Mom. I expected this from dad; I know who and what he is. But I never expected this kind of betrayal from you. You’ve been the one person I relied on most in the past four years, hell even before that. I trusted you to always be honest with me, but you weren’t.”

“Travis, I’m so sorry,” she said, tears forming in her eyes. “I just wanted to protect you from any more hurt. He caused you so much pain; I couldn’t bear to see you hurt anymore.”

“That wasn’t your decision to make. You can’t protect me with a lie. God, I can’t do this not right now. I’m leaving,” Travis said, and without another word he grabbed the keys to his bike and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Twenty-Two

Annabella took the headphones out of her ear as she closed the door to her bedroom behind her. She just returned from an hour long run with her father. It was really nice to finally be getting back to who she was, but at the same time, she was also becoming someone else.

Someone who didn’t fear what tomorrow would bring. She had Travis to thank for her progress and if it took forever she would somehow someday make it up to him. After taking a long bubble bath, with the scent of vanilla, she went into her bedroom to find six missed calls from an unknown number. She had two voicemails as well. Before she could check them though, her phone began to buzz again.

“Hello?”

“Bella, it’s Casey. I’m so glad you finally answered,” Casey told her through the phone. Annabella could hear the relief in her voice.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, unsure of the reason for the call.

“I’m not sure; I was calling to see if you’ve seen Travis. We had a fight six hours ago, and he left. I haven’t seen him and it’s getting late. I’m really worried about him. He’s a lot of things but it isn’t like him to do this,” Casey said, sounding as if she was crying.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t heard from him. I can text him for you if you’d like. But I’m not sure he’d answer if he’s upset,” Annabella offered.

“Would you do that? Please,” she begged.

“Hold on for a sec,” Annabella said as she removed her phone from her ear and sent him a quick text.

[Annabella:] Where are you?

“If I hear from him, I’ll have him call you. I promise,” Annabella said just before her and Casey said their goodbyes.

She wasn’t sure what to make of what Casey said. From what Travis told her, he rarely ever fought with his mother, which led her to believe whatever it was that they were fighting about was really bad. She couldn’t stop herself from worrying as she paced around the room. She’d never worried this much before.

An hour passed and she still heard nothing from him. She just wanted to know that he was okay; she wanted to know that he was safe.

Her heart began to ache with worry when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She wasn’t ready to deal with her mom, dad, or Ryan right now, but she knew if she didn’t answer the door they’d come barging in. The last thing she expected to see when she opened the door was Travis.

He was a mess. His brown hair fell in his eyes. He was wearing a plaid shirt, blue jeans and a pair of converse. His eyes were red, and she could see the evidence of old tears on his face. He just looked like a broken mess. It dawned on her in that moment, that Travis had saved her from herself so many times, and now it was time for to save him.

“Travis, I’ve been so worried about you,” she exclaimed as she pulled him inside and closed the door behind her.

“I got your text, and I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I needed to see you though. Bella, I need you so much,” he told her, plopping on the bed and covering his eyes with his arm.

“Your mom told me you ran out after a fight. Is everything okay?”

“It’s far from okay, Bella. It’s bad. I’ve never had a fight like that with her before, but I can’t stand to look at her. She betrayed me, even worse than my father.”

“What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It
does
matter. You pushed me to talk to you about my secret. Travis, you saved me, you helped, and now let me help you.”

“My father has three new children. One of them was born before he and my mom even divorced.”

“Travis, I’m sorry,” Annabella said, wanting to take away his every ache and pain. It couldn’t be easy knowing your father abandoned you, let alone had a whole new family of his own.

“She knew. She knew about that kid, and she didn’t tell me. She betrayed me,” Travis commented as Annabella sat on her bed and pulled his head into her lap.

“Travis, I’m sure she just wanted to protect you,” Annabella said. His mother was a very generous woman. She’d never ever intentionally do anything to hurt Travis. She loved him more than life itself.

“How is lying to me protecting me?” Travis yelled, getting off the bed and crossing the room. Annabella never saw Travis angry until now. “How is the fact that she kept something very important from me
protecting me
? She lied to me, Bella! For four years, just like my dad did. I thought she trusted me enough to be honest with me. I thought my dad left because he fell in love with someone else, but it’s all a lie. It’s dawned on me that he didn’t just leave because of my mother; he didn’t want me either. He picked his other children over his first born and I’m sick and tired of trying to make sense of it all. The fact that she was dishonest with me tells me that we weren’t as close as I thought were. “

“Travis, don’t do that. She loves you so much…”

Not even bothering to hear the rest of her statement Travis cut Annabella off. “I don’t need you to defend her, Annabella. What need is my girlfriend to be there for me. I just need you. Okay, I know you like her, but she lied to me. For
four years
. I can’t just get over that. Not yet,” Travis said. Annabella could see tears forming in his eyes. It scared her. She’d never seen this side of him before and she just wanted to heal his pain.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m here, Travis, I’ll always be here, just like you were here for me.” She spoke gently as they stood face to face. Putting her hands to his face, she wiped away his tears the way he’d done for her the night all her secrets were exposed.

“Bella, he wants to see me. How am I supposed to handle any of this when he walked out on me, and barely maintained a residence in my life? How do I let him back in when the very thought of him makes me sick?” Travis asked her, in hopes that she’d have some answer.

“I can’t tell you what to do Travis, but I can tell you that if you don’t get some kind of closure it will haunt you for the rest of your life. You don’t have to have a relationship with him, not at all. If you want to tell him to fuck off, go for it, but if you don’t go to at least hear what he has to say, you’ll regret it.”

Travis just stared at her as she wiped away his tears. She had a point, and he was curious to why his father wanted anything to do with him now.

“You’re right. God, where have you been all my life?” he asked, grabbing on to her and holding on for dear life. As his world crashed down today, he was glad to see one thing that stayed the same. Something wonderful.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Will you come with me?” Travis asked, afraid to look at her, not wanting to be rejected to his face.

“Where?” Annabella asked, confused by his question.

“To see him,” Travis answered. He knew this would be something he had to do, but at this point, he just wasn’t sure that he could face this alone. He needed something to make him feel secure, something that wouldn’t send him over the edge. He knew himself to know that he was he was capable of self-distracting, when he got pissed off, he did something reckless, and he didn’t want to be that man anymore. If anything, he wanted to be the better man, he wanted to be the better man for Annabella.

“Is that what you want?” she asked.

“More than anything. “ He admitted, not caring how vulnerable and naive he sounded in the moment.

“Then yes, I’ll go with you. Travis, I promise that everything is going to be okay. You trust me, right? “Annabella asked. The whole time they’d been together, it was always about her trusting Travis, it had never been about him trusting her until now.

 “With my life. Bella.” He said as he leaned in to kiss her for the first time since he’d arrived

“You mean so much to me.”

“I know, handsome, you mean just as much to me.”

“Handsome?” He blinked in surprise. The only thing she’d ever called him was Mr. Hotshot.

“Are you not handsome?”

“Well, I’m not one to brag, but I’m definitely handsome, in fact I’m the most handsome guy in this town. Not that you need to check that out,” Travis informed her, forming a smile.

“I believe you,” she laughed. “Are you going to go home tonight?”

“No, I’ll probably just crash at my buddy’s house tonight; I can’t face her. Not right now.”

“You could stay here,” she suggested in a whisper.

Travis stared at her with wide eyes, of course he and Annabella had spent the night together before. Twice, in fact. But it was never once her suggestion. Was this really what she wanted, or was she just being the giving person that she was?

“I couldn’t impose. Bella, I don’t want you to feel like you have to offer me a place to stay just because I’m upset,” he told her in a firm voice. He didn’t want her pity, he just wanted her.

“I didn’t offer you a place to stay because I feel sorry for you. I don’t. I don’t pity you. You of all people should know that I’d never do that, especially after everything I told you. I offered you a place to say because I care about you. More than that, I feel safe in your arms and hope you feel safe in mine.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Travis asked, not wanting to get her in trouble “What about your parents?”

“They both have a career Travis. They get up really early. As for Ryan, he’d never say anything, he likes you and he wouldn’t rat you out.”

“Then I’d be honored. I just want to hold you. I want to feel you against me, and I want to feel like all is right again in the world,” Travis confessed as he led her to the bed, as he pulled is shirt over his head.

“There’s something we should talk about though,” Annabella confessed as she lay her head on Travis’s chest.

“What the matter?” Travis asked.

“It’s my dad. He wants you to come over for dinner,” Annabella announced. She could see Travis’s facial expression change soon after.

“What?” he asked in disbelief. The last he’d heard, her father was still dead set on them not being together.

“I don’t know how it happened, but he’s accepted the fact that you make me happy. He wants me to be happy, Travis, and he knows that you do that. He wants to get to know you. And I know you have every right to say no, but please this is the dad I know and love. This is the one that I wanted you to know,” Annabella explained.

“I’ll do it for you,” Travis told her.

“Okay,” she said, closing her eyes against his chest as his hair prickled on her cheek.

“Bella?” Travis said her name as if he wanted to tell her something important.

“Yes?” She asked, still relaxing against his chest.

“I love you.”