Obsession (22 page)

“Let me help you with those,” she offered. “You can't possibly carry that many lemonades and iced teas by yourself.”

“Don't be silly, dear. I'll just put them on a tray. You go on out and enjoy your visit.” Barbara, who was standing in front of the open refrigerator, turned to look at Toni. Her blue eyes were serious. “You and Brad haven't been spending as much time together as you used to. I was hoping this evening might help remedy that. Please, go on. He came over right after church, and he's been pacing ever since, waiting for you to get here. He's missed you, you know.”

Toni nodded. “I know. I've missed him too.”

“Good. I'm glad to hear it. You two were meant for each other. George and I, we love you as if you were our own daughter. Melissa too. We're already family as far as we're concerned—especially now that your father is gone. We'll just be glad when our family ties are official, and you and Brad are finally married.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Toni gave her future mother-in-law another quick hug, then hurried back outside, reminding herself as she went how very blessed she was to be loved by such a kind and considerate man as Brad, as well as his wonderful parents. Seeing Melissa joking and laughing with Brad and his father, she realized how much her little sister needed the Andersons right now. She smiled, grateful that she and Melissa had mended some of their differences.

“So, what's on the grill tonight?” she asked, walking up to the happy threesome. “Perfect weather for a cookout, isn't it?”

“Couldn't be better,” George agreed. “It took awhile, but I think summer has finally arrived in the Northwest. We've got some tri-tips going here, marinated in my own special recipe, the one Melissa always raves about.”

“Are you ever going to tell us how you make that?” Melissa pleaded. “Toni and I have tried to figure it out, but ours is never quite the same.”

George smiled. “Well, I don't know. I don't share my secret recipe with just anyone, you know.”

“I'm not just anyone. I'm the
only
sister of your
only
future daughter-in-law.”

Brad reached over and tousled her hair. “With credentials like that, you've got my vote.”

“Thanks a lot, Bro,” Melissa pouted, patting her hair back into place with exaggerated movements. “But just because we're almost family doesn't mean you can mess up my hair.”

“You tell him, Missy,” George laughed. “Don't let him get away with that.”

“Are you kidding?” Brad asked. “These two never let me get away with anything. In fact, they gang up on me all the time and pick on me constantly.”

Just then Barbara joined them with a tray of cold drinks. “Why do I find that more than slightly difficult to believe? These two sweet, innocent young ladies picking on you? Not likely, I'm afraid.”

“You see?” said Brad, looking to George for support. “We're outnumbered. We don't have a chance.”

“What's this ‘we’ stuff? Where did you get the idea that I'm siding with you here? I'm not as stupid as I look, you know. I may be barbecuing the meat, but I know who does the rest of the cooking at this address—and I like to eat too much to alienate her.”

As the good-natured bantering continued throughout the evening, Toni tried with all her heart to enter in. She thought she had been
doing a pretty good job until she caught Brad giving her a sideways glance during dinner, studying her as if trying to figure out what she was really thinking.
He knows
, she thought.
He knows. What am I going to do?

She leaned over on the picnic bench where they were sitting side by side and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

Brad smiled. “I love you too.” His smile was strained though, and Toni found herself wondering what it would be like to live their entire lives this way.

The life is in the blood….

It is the blood that makes atonement.

It was Tuesday evening, and in the two days since Abe had received his Uncle David's
Tanakh
from Aunt Sophie, he had spent his after-work hours reading the first five books, referred to in the contents as the
Torah
section. Before going on to the next section, the
Nevi'im
, which consisted of the writings of the prophets, he couldn't help but think about what he had read so far and how blood seemed to be such a central part of the Jewish faith. From the first book of
B'resheet
, where God had come down to the garden to provide coverings from the skins of slain animals for Adam and Eve, the common thread of blood atonement seemed to run through the pages. Abe felt that he was beginning to get a glimmer of understanding, but there was not yet enough to tie it all together. He wondered if he would be able to do so by the time he had read his uncle's
Tanakh
in its entirety. Of course, his detective mind wasn't about to overlook anything. Taking notes, he searched for clues as he read. Already in his investigation he had discovered one thing for certain: There was no possible way to reconcile the writings in this book with what his parents had taught him. Whether or not there truly was a God he could not yet say for sure; but if there was, then what people believed about him and how
they responded to those beliefs did matter. From his readings so far, it was obvious that the God of his ancestors was not an impersonal deity who left those whom he had created to their own devices. The God of Israel, whom Toni claimed to worship, had given promises to his people, but those promises had conditions. He had given
Torah—teachings
, or laws—to the Israelites. Obedience to
Torah
brought blessings; disobedience brought curses. How could it not be important for people to know about these things before making any sort of rational decision about the role of God in their lives?

Abe sighed as he flipped through the remaining pages. So much to read. So much to learn. So much to understand. Would the rest of the puzzle pieces fall into place as he worked his way through to the end? Would there be a clear explanation for why God emphasized blood so much in the first five books of the
Tanakh,
and why—at least to Abe's limited knowledge—blood was no longer an issue in the modern practice of the Jewish religion? After all, faithful Jews, such as Aunt Sophie, still observed
Shabbat
and the festivals as prescribed in
Torah.
Why not the sacrifices? He vaguely remembered his grandfather telling him something years earlier about the animal sacrifices coming to an end when the Temple was destroyed, but he didn't remember his grandfather saying anything about what replaced those sacrifices. Were there inconsistencies in this book that was supposedly given by God himself? If so, Abe would find them—and he would reject the Jewish faith in its entirety. If not…

He closed his eyes as a shudder ran through his body. If there were no inconsistencies to be found, what sort of radical changes would be required of him as he adopted this ancient faith of his fathers?

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon as Brad brought his cup of coffee to the terrace and settled into a lounge chair. He was not, by nature, a morning person, but he had trained himself
to wake early, convinced that there was merit to the “early to bed and early to rise” theory. This morning, however, his earlier than usual rising had nothing to do with this theory or a busy agenda. Since the barbecue at his parents' home three days earlier, he had not been able to shake the feeling that although he and Toni had reconciled and she had assured him that Abe Matthews was out of her life once and for all, they were growing farther apart by the day. The thought terrified him. How could he fight what he could not see or hear, what he could not even identify? He knew the problem still revolved around the loss of Toni's father, but it was more than that. It was, whether Toni would admit it or not, a lingering attraction, even an attachment, to Abe that kept her at a distance from Brad. Even when he kissed her, it was obvious that her mind—and quite possibly her heart—was somewhere else.

He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the sky, hugging his coffee cup with his hands as the first rays of sunlight touched his face.
What am I going to do, God? How do I get through to her? How can we recapture what we had before… before her dad's death, before Abe? There must be a way. There has to be….

His heart constricted with the pain of missing her. It was worse than when he had given her the ultimatum and then forced himself to stay away from her so she would see the need to put Abe out of her life and return to him and to the way things used to be. At least then he had been sure she would see things clearly, that she would make the right choice. It seemed that she had, but now…

He sipped his coffee, his eyes still closed.
I'll call her as soon as I know she's up. I'll convince her to go with me Friday night
—
just the two of us this time
—
somewhere really special. Quiet and secluded, and very romantic.

Oh, Toni, don't you understand? We were meant to be together. We've always known it. We've talked about it and praised God for it. For years we've planned our future together. Please, please don't throw it all away now. Not now…

After Melissa had left for work on Friday, Toni spent the morning doing some laundry and cleaning before going to the office. Even though she had finished referring her father's clients to other agencies, there were still stacks of paperwork and years of files to sort through and either pack into storage or run through the shredder. Once all that was done, she could then take the next step, which was putting the agency—or what was left of it in the way of furniture and equipment—up for sale. It was a decision she had already made and was going to have to act on sooner or later, but even after the results of the autopsy, which should have settled the issue of her father's death once and for all, she was still reluctant to make the move. She wondered if it might be because she saw the next logical step after putting the agency up for sale as setting a wedding date with Brad.

Oh, Lord, what's wrong with me? Brad is such a fine man. I know he'll be the perfect husband, but…

Sighing, she unlocked the front door of the office. It was just after noon on Friday, and she and Brad had a date for dinner later that night. She knew the conversation would eventually get around to discussing wedding plans, and she wondered how long she would be able to use her dad's death as an excuse for prolonging the inevitable.

Oh, Father, forgive me
—
and help me! What a terrible way to think of my future marriage to Brad.

Walking straight through to the inner office and flipping on the light, she surveyed the mound of files and paperwork piled on her desk. Determined to make at least a sizable dent in the pile before the day was over, she resolved to put thoughts of Brad and their wedding out of her mind.
One thing at a time,
she reminded herself, putting her purse in the bottom drawer and plunking down in the chair. The mound in front of her seemed to grow the longer she looked at it. She reached out and picked up a file, but before she could get it open, the phone rang.