Nothing Left to Lose (15 page)

My eyes widened
in shock. I literally had no idea what to do or think. The only
thing that registered in my mind was how nice it felt and how soft
his lips were. My whole body was tingling with desire, my lips
burning. I wanted more. Without my conscious consent, my hand moved
to the back of his head, threading through his soft hair as I
guided his mouth back down to mine, needing him like I needed the
air in my lungs.

As his lips
pressed against mine, he made a soft moan in the back of his throat
as he pressed his body to mine. My mind was whirling, spinning, not
making any sense as the sensations and passion took over, making my
body ache for something that I’d not dared to think about since
Jack was alive. When his tongue grazed my lip, the kiss deepened
and changed to something even more desperate and fulfilling. His
taste and the way his body pressed against mine made me forget who
I was. It was glorious.

He cupped my
face as he guided me onto my back and hovered above me, pressing me
down into the soft mattress. I whimpered as the desire built. My
fingers dug into his back, clutching him closer to me as one of his
hands slowly trailed down my neck, across my side until finally,
his fingertips brushed against the skin of my stomach. He was doing
everything slowly, as if waiting for me to stop him. His hesitancy
caught me off-guard and made me doubt that this was a good idea.
After all, I didn’t really want to be doing this with my new
bodyguard, did I? My body answered for me. Yes, yes I did. As his
hand pushed up under my pyjama top and headed up to cup my breasts,
I let out a little moan and arched into him, needing to get him
closer to me, to be consumed by him, to be one with him.

As the kiss
finally broke and he trailed his tongue down my neck, I was panting
for breath and my body was on high alert. I closed my eyes as he
inched my pyjama top up slowly. He was moving and doing everything
so slowly, as if he thought I was going to freak out at any
second.

“You can stop
treating me like glass, Ashton, I’m not gonna break,” I whispered,
wriggling under him, trying to feel as much of his body on mine as
I could. He paused, pulling back from me gently before he nodded in
acknowledgement, gripped my shirt and pulled it over my head in one
swift motion.

I gasped,
shocked how quickly it had happened. My face filled with heat
because I was now half-naked in front of him. Insecurity and
nervousness made me wince as I looked up at him. Only one man had
ever seen me topless, and that wasn’t my choice. But my concern
that he wasn’t going to like what he saw was immediately diminished
when his eyes narrowed and his bottom lip rolled up into his mouth.
The little moan of appreciation that he made set what felt like a
hundred butterflies loose in my stomach.

“So beautiful,”
he croaked, dropping my shirt over the side of the bed and hovering
above me again, looking straight into my eyes. “So, so
beautiful.”

His lips
pressed against mine as he settled himself on top of me. I smiled
against his mouth, looping my arms around his neck. It was like a
dream, a nice one, one that I didn’t ever want to wake up from. The
attention from him made me feel special, attractive and
desired.

As his hands
lavished attention on my body, I took the opportunity to touch him
too. My fingertips glided over his chest, feeling the little bumps
of his muscles, tracing the lines of them. He shivered, pulling his
mouth from mine, heading down and closing his mouth over one of my
nipples. I gasped at the sensation, unaware that anything could
actually feel this good with a man. The passion and need for him
was incredible and all-consuming. My whole body was screaming for
more.

His mouth
headed lower. His hot tongue drew a circular pattern around my
belly button before his teeth nipped gently at my overheated skin.
When I felt the waistband of my shorts move, I raised my hips from
the mattress in silent encouragement. This was all taking too long.
I needed more, I couldn’t wait. I’d never wanted anyone like I
wanted him, not even Jack. To be fair, Jack and I were so young
that I hadn’t even known that this level of desire actually
existed. Cool air hit my thighs as he eased my shorts down.

I was lost.
Lost in the bliss of Ashton Taylor and the sensations and feelings
he was causing within me. His hands and mouth on my body made me
feel both hot and cold at the same time. My mind was whirling,
unable to form any coherent thoughts other than one:
please
don’t stop
.

When his mouth
found mine again, he let out a little moan as one of his hands
fisted into my hair. His excitement was evident as he ground his
hips against mine. A shiver of desire made my eyes flutter shut as
my whole body started to ache. My hands slid down his back,
catching hold of the top of his boxers and pushing them down,
trailing my nails across his pert, little behind as I did so. When
the material was at his knees he kicked them off quickly, and one
of his hands slid between our bodies as his mouth claimed mine in a
kiss that was full of fire and passion.

My body jerked
as his hand moved to the apex of my legs, brushing against my
overheated skin. Little ripples of pleasure burst from within me,
and he groaned. “So wet. Fuck, Anna,” he mumbled, pushing his hand
down further. I gasped as his fingers pushed inside me gently. More
of those little, pleasurable ripples erupted and I arched my back,
gripping his shoulders for support.

He sucked on
the spot just below my ear as his fingers started moving inside me
slowly. My teeth sank into my bottom lip as my heart started to
race. Not able to endure any more waiting, I shook my head, guiding
his mouth back to mine again. “I’ve had enough foreplay, Ashton,” I
mumbled against his lips, wriggling as my whole body seemed to get
hotter and hotter by the second. Something was building inside me,
some sort of frenzy.

Ashton pulled
away fractionally. A pained, disappointed frown lined his forehead.
“I don’t have a condom. Do you have one?” he asked, still working
his fingers inside me.

I couldn’t
answer. The ripples of desire had turned into waves – giant,
intense waves that crashed over me. He was pushing me towards
something, and I knew it would be good whatever it was. My blood
seemed to whoosh in my ears as my insides throbbed and twitched. My
back arched off the mattress as I gripped his shoulders tightly,
crying out his name. For a few blissful seconds, it felt as if I
was flying, as the sensations drove me higher and higher, until my
body sagged and a contented sigh left my lips and all that was left
was the residual ebb of pleasure and the flutter of my inner
muscles.

I swallowed,
still panting for breath as I looked up at him a little confused.
I’d never felt anything like that before. I’d never even dreamt
that my body could feel like that. The only feelings that I’d ever
had during sex were pain, disgust and shame. But at the moment, I
felt incredible.

Ashton smiled
down at me, his green eyes glittering with what looked like pride
as he bent to kiss me again. “Do you have a condom, Anna?” he
repeated, peppering little kisses across my cheek.

“No.”

He groaned
quietly and pressed his face into the side of my neck, his
shoulders slumping in defeat. Shifting one leg out from under him,
I wrapped it around his waist, clamping him to me as I wriggled. At
this point, I was past caring if I got pregnant. I wanted that
flying, weightless, carefree feeling again. But this time I wanted
to take him along with me. Gripping my hand in the back of his
hair, I pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him almost desperately as
I raised my hips in silent invitation, desperately needing more
from him because I didn’t ever want this experience to end.

He groaned and
shook his head, breaking the kiss. “We can’t. I want to, so bad,
but we can’t,” he whined. His voice was pained. He almost looked as
disappointed as I felt, almost, but not quite.

My heart sank
as I pressed my face into his chest and let his delicious smell
fill my lungs. “Please?” I begged, clutching him closer.

He dragged in a
breath through his teeth as his shoulders stiffened under my hands.
“I could pull out before I finish,” he suggested. I moved back to
look at him, my pulse quickening at his words. “If you want I could
do that,” he offered, looking at me curiously, his expression
torn.

Oh hell
yeah!
I nodded eagerly as my body rejoiced. My leg
unconsciously tightened around his waist as he shifted on top of
me. He gulped and cupped my face in his hands, looking me right in
the eyes.

“You really
want this, Anna? You’re sure?” he asked, watching my face.

I wasn’t even
sure I had the words to describe how much I wanted it. In fact, it
wasn’t a want, it was a need. I
needed
it to happen. “Yeah,”
I confirmed, begging him with my eyes. “Please, Ashton?”

He grinned and
his hand slid down, gripping my thigh as he pushed his hips
forward. My breath came out in one big burst as he slid home inside
me and his hips met mine, filling me completely. He gasped, and his
eyes widened as his fingers dug into my leg. “Fuck. So tight,” he
grunted. “You okay?”

I bit my lip to
stop myself from moaning too loudly at the pleasure of having him
inside me. “Oh hell yeah,” I confirmed, tightening my leg around
his waist like a death grip in case he changed his mind and tried
to get away. He grinned – probably at my over-the-top enthusiasm.
His mouth claimed mine in a scorching hot kiss that seemed to wake
up every part of my body, parts that I thought were long since
dead.

He built up a
slow, steady rhythm. Every time he moved, my body tingled and
throbbed. I was aching for something else, something more, but I
didn’t even know what it was that I wanted. I actually had no idea
what I was doing. Trying to match his movements, I raised my hips
to meet his. My moans were bordering on obscene as I leant forward
and bit his shoulder gently, moaning against his skin, muffling the
sound. Every move he made was gentle and caring; his hands
worshipped my body and his mouth never once seemed to leave my
skin.

As perspiration
glistened on his forehead and his back started to get slightly
slick under my fingers, my body was screaming at me for something.
Seeming to sense it too, he gripped my other leg and guided that
around his waist too before his hand slid to the small of my back,
lifting my behind off the mattress a little as he continued to
thrust into me. The new angle changed the feel of it completely,
seeming to allow him deeper inside me. I gasped, bending my head
and kissing his chest gratefully.

“Okay?” he
asked breathlessly, as he thrust a little harder this time.

I nodded,
squeezing my eyes shut as every nerve in my body seemed to spark
and flicker. “Please don’t stop,” I begged, tightening my legs on
him.

He chuckled,
slamming home again. “I won’t,” he whispered, as I ran my fingers
through his already messy hair. “Fuck. So good,” he moaned, looking
down at me through heavily-lidded, clearly awed eyes.

The same
sensation was building like an inferno inside me. My eyes narrowed
as I pressed my mouth against his, ravishing his mouth with my
tongue. As if he knew I was close to my end too, his fingers bit
into my butt as he sped up. The friction he was creating inside me
was almost too much to bear. In an attempt to get him impossibly
closer, I raised my quivering legs even higher, lifting most of my
body off the bed. He grunted and seemed to lose control of himself
as he slammed into me harder and harder, moaning my name.

My orgasm hit
me like a train, even more powerful than the last time. My whole
body seemed to convulse and shake as I squeezed my eyes shut. He
groaned my name as my inner muscles tightened around him, trying to
force him to climax.

He pulled out
of me quickly and his body tensed too, coming onto my stomach. I
watched the way his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw tightened,
listening to the sexy, little moan of pleasure he made as he
finished too. He slumped down on top of me, pinning me down on the
mattress with his weight, but it was a pleasant weight, it felt
comforting somehow.

I closed my
eyes and smiled as he peppered little kisses around the base of my
throat. My whole body was spent. My muscles felt like jelly as I
struggled to catch my breath. He sighed contentedly, lifting his
weight off me, only to plop down at my side and throw a heavy arm
across my torso. As he moved and our bodies brushed together, I
could feel the evidence of his climax on my stomach.

I rolled to my
side so I was facing him. He was watching me with a contented smile
on his face. A soft giggle escaped my lips because of his awed
expression. The way he was looking at me made my tummy flutter due
to the intensity of it. I smiled and reached up, pushing his hair
off his sweaty forehead, guiding it to stand up on end. I chuckled
wickedly as it stayed in that position. Messy sex hair certainly
suited him.

“Well, I’d say
you just added a whole new chapter to the
‘how to be a
bodyguard’
book. I don’t think I’ve ever had a person guard my
body that closely before,” I teased, blushing as I said it.

He laughed and
tightened his arm across my body, clamping me to his side. “Mmm, I
think I’m gonna be good at this body guarding job. I take my job
incredibly seriously,” he purred, trailing his fingers down my
spine, making me shiver.

“Ashton, do you
mind if I count that as my first time? I mean, my real first time
wasn’t something I want to remember.” The words tumbled from my
mouth before I could even contemplate how embarrassing they would
be. I winced, horrified.