Nothing Left to Lose (12 page)

“Why do you
call me pretty boy?” he asked quietly. I gulped as his fingers
touched the back of my hand that was gripped on the edge of the
sheets. For some reason though, I didn’t flinch away from him. This
must have encouraged him as his hand closed over mine, loosening my
fist from the sheets and weaving his fingers through mine.

I smiled weakly
into the darkness. “You don’t really look like a tough guy, you’re
more of a pretty boy,” I answered.

A soft chuckle
came from his direction. “You don’t think I’m a tough guy?”

I chuckled too.
“Well, when I first met you I would have said no, but after last
night when you came in with your gun, I’d say you were definitely
badass,” I admitted.

“So I’m only
badass with a gun?” he replied sarcastically.

“Yeah, you’re
more like a male model, slash, badass,” I joked, squeezing his hand
gently to show I was just joking.

He chuckled and
pulled on my hand, making my body move closer to his. I swallowed
my nervousness, but there was still a large gap between us, I just
wasn’t on the edge of the bed anymore. “There, that’s better, you
said you like to sleep in the middle of the bed,” he said, sounding
satisfied. His thumb traced along the jagged scar that lined the
inside of my wrist where I’d run the razor across when I’d woken up
at Carter’s house the day after my sixteenth birthday. The scar was
mirrored on my other arm too. Unfortunately for me, my attempt was
thwarted back then so I’d had to endure my time with Carter, and
everyday without Jack after.

“Goodnight,
Anna.”

“Night.”

He didn’t move
again after that. I laid there, straining my eyes in the darkness
to try and make him out, but to no avail. Half an hour later, the
snoring started. I giggled, chewing on my lip, listening to the
sound rumble through his chest. I closed my eyes, feeling something
that I hadn’t felt since my sixteenth birthday. I felt safe. The
sound of his snoring followed me into a peaceful sleep.

When I woke in
the morning, I was pinned down onto the mattress. Panic surged
through me until I heard the soft snore and realised it was Ashton.
I was on my back, and he was lying half on his side with his other
half on me, his arm and leg slung casually over me and his face
buried in the crook of my neck.

A quick glance
at the alarm clock told me it was almost eleven thirty in the
morning. I’d never slept in this late in my life, well, not without
a substantial hangover anyway. Ashton moved slightly, his hand
cupped the side of my head as his face nuzzled into my neck, making
a sleepy moaning sound. I smiled and poked him in the ribs
roughly.

He grunted and
jerked up, frowning at me through sleepy, half open eyes. His nose
scrunched up as he regarded me with clear confusion for a split
second before his eyes widened. He gasped and jumped out of the bed
so fast that he almost fell on his butt.

“Whoa, shit!
I’m sorry! You okay?” he asked, his voice panicked, holding up his
hands innocently. I nodded and smiled at him, trying not to laugh.
He looked so funny; I’d never seen anyone move so fast. He blew out
a big breath and his shoulders relaxed as he raked a hand through
his messy black hair.

“I’m fine, calm
down.” I sat up, stretching my arms above my head. I groaned as my
joints cracked and protested to the movement. My body ached all
over; my muscles were tight and uncomfortable from my feeble
attempts at fighting him the day before.

“Jeez, Anna,
I’m really sorry. I didn’t realise I was asleep on you like that.
You should have pushed me off or something.” He winced
apologetically. I smiled as I noticed how cute he looked when he’d
just woken up. His eyes were still sleepy; he had the line of my
tank top imprinted across the bottom of his jaw where he’d been
asleep on me, and his hair was sticking up everywhere.

“Don’t worry
about it, the lying on me was fine, it was the snoring I almost
smothered you for,” I joked, climbing out of the bed and grabbing
my bath robe.

“I don’t
snore!” he protested, and then he frowned, looking at me curiously.
“Do I?”

I burst out
laughing, raising one eyebrow incredulously. “You don’t know
whether you snore or not? Haven’t girls ever told you?” I scoffed.
How could any girl not tease the life out of him for it? He was
so loud, I’m surprised he didn’t wake himself up.

He sat on the
edge of the bed and shrugged. “I’ve never stayed the night with a
girl before.”

I glanced over
my shoulder to see if he was joking. Nope, no signs of humour
there. “Really? How come?” I asked, plopping down on the bed next
to him and crossing my legs.

“I told you,
I’ve never really had a girlfriend, so…” he trailed off, shrugging
casually.

“Wow, you
really are a player! So you fuck the girls then it’s just like
what,
‘Thanks, ma’am’
, and you leave?” I guessed,
laughing.

He rolled his
eyes. “I’m not a player! I told you, I’ve just never met anyone who
I wanted to spend the night with,” he explained.

I smiled.
“Until now.”

He nodded.
“Yeah, until now. But I’ve never once said ‘thanks ma’am’!” he
said, grinning.

Before I could
protest, his arm shot across my shoulders and he pushed me so that
I fell back on to the bed. He lay down next to me, pressing his
body to my side. My heart started to race, but I wasn’t scared
because I could see he was joking. He was watching me intently,
probably to make sure he was alright doing this.

“Well, thanks
for letting me spend the night, ma’am” he whispered sexily. My
breath caught in my throat at the husky sound of his voice.

“You’re
welcome, Agent,” I answered. “And thanks for staying the night, I
slept really well.” I could feel the blush heating my cheeks
because I’d spent the night in a bed with him and I’d had his body
wrapped around mine when I woke.

“Me too.” He
rolled off me and walked to the door as if nothing had happened.
“Want to meet me for breakfast?” he asked, stopping at the
door.

“Um, it’s a bit
late for breakfast, but I’ll eat lunch with you.” I nodded at my
alarm clock, showing him the time.

He looked at
the clock and shook his head, looking a little bemused. “Right,
okay, lunch then,” he corrected, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
“Come get me when you’re ready.” He closed the door firmly behind
him and I walked over to my closet, picking out clothes for the
day. After running a brush through my wild hair a couple of times,
it became apparent that there was no salvaging it. Instead, I
pulled it up into a ponytail and clipped my bangs to the side. I
looked in the mirror and frowned. I looked the same as I did every
other day: baggy and loose. I longed to wear normal clothes, but it
was easier this way to go unnoticed; it actually scared me when
guys started to look at me with lust in their eyes.

I knew every
man wasn’t like Carter, but just in case, I couldn’t bring myself
to show any skin or curves. It was funny how that was different
with Ashton. I hadn’t thought twice about wearing my swimsuit in
front of him yesterday. There was something about him that just
made me trust him, giving me more confidence around him.

When I was
done, I made my way out to Ashton’s room. “Hey,” he greeted
cheerfully as he opened his door.

“Hey.”

“So, what do
you want to do today? Is there anything good to do around here?” he
asked as we walked down to the kitchen for lunch.

“Not really.
There’s a small shopping mall about half an hour away. Want to go
there? I could buy some new art supplies, ready for school,” I
offered, shrugging.

“Sure okay,
sounds good,” he agreed, smiling happily.

“Wow, you’re
easy to please,” I teased, elbowing him in the ribs playfully.

He smiled. “I
guess. I just don’t get much time off from training, so I don’t get
to do normal things like that often.”

“Well, that
sucks,” I said frowning.

“It doesn’t
suck! I love my job; it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. The
training’s finished now so things should calm down,” he explained,
shrugging.

“Well not
really, I mean, you got stuck on some crappy assignment to babysit
me. My dad said that you won’t even get time off apart from
scheduled school breaks. You must suck at being SWAT if they stuck
you here,” I joked, smirking at him.
Bless him; I bet he barely
passed his training!

“Actually, I
graduated top of my class with honours. I hold five new records at
the academy, which I was the only one to break in twenty years,” he
replied dismissively like it was no big deal.

I recoiled,
shocked at the revelations. “Seriously? Then why did you get
shipped off here with me? I mean, if you’re some awesome badass,
why waste you here body guarding me? It’s not even a SWAT job, it’s
the secret service’s responsibility to guard a Senator and his
family.” I looked at him, confused. It just seemed like a waste of
talent to me.

He looked a
little uncomfortable. “I don’t know. I just go wherever they assign
me. Anyway, I’m glad I got ‘shipped off here’ as you put it,
otherwise we wouldn’t have met,” he flirted, smiling at me
cockily.

“Yeah, because
otherwise you’d still be holding that claim of never spending the
night with a girl, like the badass player that you are.” I pushed
him sideways playfully so I could step through the door into the
inner hallway first. He didn’t reply. He just grabbed my waist,
lifting me off my feet and threw me easily over his shoulder as he
carried on walking in the direction of the kitchen. I gasped as
everything turned upside down. “Whoa, holy crap! Put me down, right
now!” I shouted, but the order lost some of its authority when I
started laughing.

“Nope, not
until you apologise for calling me a player,” he refused
playfully.

“Ashton, put me
down!” I instructed, struggling to get off him.

“I didn’t hear
you apologise.”

“Agent Taylor,
you put me down right now. I know people, I could have you
assassinated!” I joked.

He burst out
laughing. “Right, and who do you know that could assassinate me?”
he asked, still chuckling.

“Dean.”

“Dean Michaels?
That guy likes me more than he does you, and I’ve only met him
twice, it would be easier to get him to assassinate you!” he
countered, laughing wickedly.

“Put me down!
All the blood’s rushing to my head,” I whined, giving up on my
struggling because I could barely move an inch from the hold he had
on me.

“Wow, you whine
like a baby, Anna. Where’s the fighting spirit? You could have
wrapped your arms around my waist to give yourself more stability
and kneed me in the face, you know. I thought you were big on the
self-defence,” he teased. He tugged on my legs, making me slide
down into his arms before he sat me on the kitchen counter. He was
grinning from ear to ear.

“No way! I
could barely move, I tried to get down,” I protested, righting my
clothes and trying to catch my breath from the experience of
it.

“You have much
to learn, young grasshopper,” he said, patting me on the head like
a child.

“Whatever. Just
keep your hands off me in the future, player,” I stated,
grinning.

He sighed and
rolled his eyes, grinning sexily. “Yes, ma’am.”

Movement from
my right suddenly made me aware that we weren’t in the room alone.
I flicked my eyes around quickly, taking in the shocked faces of my
parents and half of the kitchen staff that were up the other end of
the kitchen. I gasped and dropped my eyes to the floor, scooting
forwards and jumping off the counter.

Ashton groaned
and a subtle blush crept over his cheekbones. I couldn’t help but
notice how cute he looked with the pink on his cheeks; it was
certainly a good look for him.

“Good
afternoon, Annabelle. Agent Taylor,” my father said after a second
or two of uncomfortable silence.

“Hi,” I
mumbled, fighting to regain my composure and cool my own burning
cheeks.

“Good
afternoon, sir, ma’am,” Ashton said, nodding politely, clearly
uncomfortable because he hadn’t known they were there either.

“Er, maybe we
could get some lunch out instead, what do you think?” I asked
Ashton, still blushing, just wanting to be out of here already.

“Whatever you
want, Miss Spencer.” He shrugged casually, a smirk on his lips,
probably at my red face. He pulled out his cell phone, tapping away
before shoving it back into his pocket.

I looked back
up at my parents who were still watching me like a hawk. “I’ll, er,
see you guys later,” I muttered. “And I’m sorry about last night. I
shouldn’t have said a lot of those things. I’m not saying they
weren’t true, but I shouldn’t have said them anyway,” I shrugged
awkwardly, looking at them apologetically.

My mom smiled
sadly. “That’s okay, Annabelle. We shouldn’t have jumped to
conclusions like that, it wasn’t fair, and I shouldn’t have brought
up Jack. I’m sorry.”

“You can talk
about him, that doesn’t upset me. I just don’t like you assuming
that someone could ever replace him because they can’t,” I said
confidently. I knew that for a fact – I would never love anyone
like I loved Jack, and I hated people saying that I would get over
him in time.

“Honey, I
wasn’t saying that at all, but I think you’re under some
misunderstanding that you can’t be with anyone because Jack died.
He wouldn’t want you to be like this,” my mom countered.

I laughed at
her statement; I’d heard that so many times from so many different
therapists – repetition still didn’t make it true. “You’re right,
he wouldn’t. I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted me to get stuck with
Carter either, but what we want and what happens are two different
things entirely,” I said casually, making my parents flinch.