Notes from the Life of a Total Genius (10 page)

Your assignment over the break is to come up with a convincing story as to why you couldn’t get any of your homework done!

Put your storytelling abilities and persuasive writing skills to the test, and write me a short story detailing what happened to you to hinder your homework completion and explaining why you should get an extension on your assignment. What makes your situation “extenuating circumstances”? Why should you get special treatment?

Due: January 7

December 17th

Dear RJ,

We had auditions today at Leg Breakers for our plays, and I think mine is going to be awesome. Hark had us do auditions inside the playwriting group, and then we opened it up to other people who wanted to be in our plays. Millie actually came to audition like she said she would, so I gave her the part of Serpentine. Ben’s going to be Captain Subtle, because he’s so tall he’ll be imposing and he’s so funny and deadpan. I think he’ll kill at it. Latha and her little sister Bhakti are playing the time travellers, which will be amazing, because they look so similar, except Bhakti is shorter. Von literally BEGGED me to be in my show, so I kind of had to cast him as a spy. I was hoping that Kennedy would show up, because I think she would be a really funny Rat-ical, but she didn’t come. I chose Julia instead, since I’m going to be in her play too. I’m going to be in another play as well. I’m in Julia’s as the dad (hers is about a girl who goes to juvenile detention), and in Vincent’s as one of the mutant slayers. I have more lines in Vincent’s play, but it’s shorter. I don’t really do much in Julia’s, but I do get to yell “Damn it, Beyoncé!” (that’s the name of the girl who goes to juvie. I guess Julia’s big into her music), and I have to pretend to be drunk and start crying.

I haven’t read all our scripts, but I think they sound pretty awesome. Although, I have to admit, RJ, mine is probably the best. Some of them don’t really go anywhere (like Julia’s). (Don’t tell her I said that.)

We’re not starting rehearsals until after the break, but I’m going to get off-book, which Hark says is theatre-speak for memorizing all our lines, before we even start. I asked my cast to do the same, so that we can work on making the fight scenes look super realistic.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

December 21st

Dear RJ,

We had the weirdest night last night! I went to Robbie’s apartment, or I guess I should say, Robbie’s dad’s apartment. Robbie and I hung out and he showed me a bunch of the comics he’s been working on. They look awesome. He said that Hayley has been taking his characters and putting them into the oil paintings that she likes to do. He had a few photos of it and he looked super proud of them. I didn’t get it at all. It was like the cartoon guys that Robbie draws stuck inside these super realistic fruit bowls and prairie flower landscape things. Some of them were kind of funny though. One had a werewolf trapped under a banana. Robbie also gave me one of me and him where we both look like James Bond in tuxedoes and with guns. It’s so awesome. I’m going to frame it.

That’s not the weird part. We hung out like normal, but when my dad came to get me, Robbie’s dad told me to invite him in for a beer. It was very strange. I don’t think they had ever really even met. My dad looked super uncomfortable, and I could tell that he just wanted to leave. Plus, my dad works in a bank, and Robbie’s dad is in construction or something, so I don’t know what they talked about. Especially since my dad barely talks to people he knows, and not at all to people he doesn’t know. Robbie and I went to play on Robbie’s computer, and the next thing I know, it was past midnight, and we were still there. I went out to see when we were going home, but my dad said he’d had one too many, and that we were going to stay over, so I slept in Caleb’s bed, and my dad ended up sleeping on the couch.

This morning it was totally awkward though, because we didn’t have toothbrushes or anything, and my dad was back to being his usual silent self, so we left really early, and didn’t have breakfast or anything.

Now my dad is having a nap, and I don’t think he’ll be going to yoga tonight. I’m going to go to a movie with Robbie. I miss having people to go to the movies with. Christmas is great for movie watching.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: December 25, 15:04

Dear Kennedy,

I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas! I know it’s your favourite time of year, and that you love the snow, so you must be loving this year’s Christmas season! I was just thinking about our trip to Heritage Park last winter, and how much fun it was! I think that was my favourite part of Christmas last year.

Are you going skiing this year? What are you up to for New Year’s Eve?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: December 26, 13:43

Hi Arthur!

Thanks for your Christmas email! It’s been a CRAZY break!

I was thinking that our first newspaper after the break, we should do an article on resolutions! We can interview students and teachers about their new year’s plans! Catie was telling me that her plan was to become a “social tutor”! She claims that she wants to help nerds become more popular! LOL! Can you see Catie helping ANYONE?!?! LOL!! No offence to her, but that is SO not her thing!

Kennedy :)

From: Von Ipo ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: December 26, 15:32

Hey, Arthur!

Merry Christmas buddy! Hope you got some great stuff. My parents got me this sweet new mountain bike. I’m really into mountain biking right now. I was basically shredding the mountain every day this past summer and I rode my bike until it was basically falling apart. So now I have the best bike out there. Can’t wait until spring! Do you ride? I bet you’d love it. You can have my old bike if you want. It’s basically a beginner bike, but it’s still really expensive and pretty great.

Don’t know if you’re in town, but Rob and I are going to a movie tomorrow. Thought you should come. Like old times last year, all three of us in the AV Club!

Let me know!

Von