Not Alone: Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home (17 page)

Actually, this is pretty normal. Does that make you feel any better? I pray that it does, but let me encourage you to keep praying for your teenager as they push and pull at what has been defined in the home until now as Mom’s faith. At some point our children need to move away from defining their faith by Mom’s and to claim it as their own.

This can be a tumultuous time full of worry and nagging, or it can be a time for us as moms to trust God and to know that He’s definitely in the mix. In these transitions, God will show up and surprise us in the most amazing ways.

When my daughter Leslie went through her second phase of brain surgery, she asked to see the movie
Oliver & Company
, a cartoon film that she remembered and loved from her younger years. I don’t know what made her suddenly want to see this movie again, but I was determined to find it for her. I knew the movie would be a comfort to Leslie, because she’s such an animal lover, and this film exceeded the cuteness factor in that category. What better way to get her mind off her brain (yes, pun intended)?

I started with the usual online retail sources, only to discover that the move was at that time locked up tight in the Disney vault. A nurse told me the hospital (Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital) had a movie library. I called the library’s number, left a message and prayed. A couple hours later I received a call back. They didn’t have a copy in their library. I prayed again, then called a friend I suspected might just have a copy. Turned out she didn’t, but our other friend did. They would make the 45-minute trip to the hospital together the next day to visit and to make it possible for Leslie to watch the movie when the hospital staff moved her from PICU to a room. Prayer answered!

The next evening my friend walked into the room and handed me the DVD. I reached up to turn on the VHS/DVD combo player in the room and noticed a tape was already in it. I hit eject.

Oliver & Company
popped out.

I kid you not. I turned around holding the tape in one hand and the DVD in the other, mouth hanging open in shock. I couldn’t believe it. Neither could my friends.

Leslie laughed and later shared with me that this made her feel like God was watching out for her.

A while back, my oldest daughter was struggling a bit financially right after starting college (aren’t all college students?). She found a nice chair at a yard sale for $20. Some time later, she found $20.25 wedged in the frame under the cushion! As she told me the story, I pointed out that God had provided for her not just the money for the chair but a little extra too.

Mom, don’t be afraid to point out these God moments to your kids so they can learn to use their spiritual antennae. I once heard a pastor say jokingly that if you want to see something get done, ask a new believer to pray for it. He had a point, I dare say. Those who are new believers just stepping into faith seem to experience more answered prayer than us long-time believers. I personally believe that God takes special care of those who are in delicate places in their faith, including our teenagers. Through that event in the hospital and through many others, God has made His presence known to my daughters, big time. Today they have no doubts whatsoever as to God’s presence in their lives. That doesn’t mean they’re always on track, but even when they’re not, they know exactly where to find God.

We help our children stand strongest in their faith and values when we set an example for them and teach them to look for God’s presence in their lives. Even when my girls were little, some of my best teaching times with them came as we explored nature and talked about God’s amazing creation, which included them. With God’s strength and help, we can be strong in our own faith and be the launching point for our kids to break free from us and sail the waters of their own faith with confidence and freedom.

Discovery

My friend, I hope you’re feeling more and more empowered as you’ve worked through each chapter and answered the study questions. I’m praying for that. Even as I asked God for the words for this chapter, I prayed that you would find encouragement and strength in the stories I’ve shared with you. You’re more than halfway through the book now. Just walk with us a little further, and let us love on you a while longer. God has all your concerns in His most capable hands. You can trust that fact for yourself and for your beautiful children.

1. When you think about your children’s future, what do you imagine for them? Pray and ask God to show you what gifts and talents He’s placed in them. Start a journal for your kids (maybe even a separate one for each child) so that you can write these down along with additional insights that God will give you as your children grow.

2. Every January I ask God for a specific Scripture to pray for each of my daughters throughout the year. I love sharing these with them. Ask God for specific Scriptures and issues to pray over for your children. Be sure to write these down too in the journal you started.

3. I mentioned earlier in this chapter the list of Scriptures in the back of this book. Use this index, “My Identity in Christ,” to help you and your children understand who each of you are in Jesus. When my girls were tweens, I taped a copy of these Scriptures to the wall in each of their rooms. Take a verse a week, working your way down through the list and praying these vital truths over you and your family.

4. Ask God to help you see the unique gifts He has placed in your children, and ask Him for the wisdom to help you nurture these gifts in your kids. This is another detail of importance to add to that journal. Imagine what a wonderful gift you will have to give your kids on their first day at college or on their wedding day.

5. One thing I’ve become diligent about doing is writing down those moments when God visibly moves in my life or my family. Like the stories about Leslie’s movie request or Rachel’s chair. Be sure to write these kinds of happenings down in your child’s journal. They’ll be precious stories to read to your kids as they get older and a beautiful legacy for your children to share with your grandchildren.

Prayer

My precious friend, I want to do something a little different at the end of this chapter. One of my favorite prayers that I’ve prayed for my husband and my daughters for years is straight out of Ephesians 3:14-21. Below is a paraphrase for you to pray. After you read it, keep reading. You’ll find another way to pray this powerful Scripture.

Glorious Father of heaven and earth, my Lord God, I kneel before You and ask You to strengthen me for this high calling of motherhood through Your Son, Jesus, who lives and dwells in my inner being. Help me to be rooted and established in Your powerful love, Lord—Your love that is so wide and long and high and deep that I can barely grasp it. Lord, fill me to overflowing with Your Holy Spirit and with Your presence. Lord God, You are all I need, and You are more than able to help me and to do even more than I ask. I trust You with my life and with the lives of my children. For You are glorious and mighty. In Your great name I pray, Lord Jesus. Amen!

Use the
New International Version (NIV)
translation below and insert the name of your child, your spouse or anyone who you are praying will know the love of Jesus that transforms us. To Him be all the glory and praise!

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you, _________, with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, _________, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you, _________, may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Respecting Dad

You know what’s amazing yet absolutely baffling but so very God? The stronger we stand in who we are in Jesus, the more attractive we become. That’s because we become true lamps that shine in the darkness. We become people of Jesus who exemplify integrity and honor. Let this truth, the truth of Jesus, live in you. Let it shine on your children and on their dad, because it is your greatest testimony and more powerful than anything you can say. This is the heart of 1 Peter 3:1-2. I love how
THE MESSAGE
paraphrases this truth:

There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.

My friend, live a life that impacts others by being real in your faith, and it won’t be just your husband that you draw to Christ.