Not Alone: Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home (25 page)

— J
EN
B
ABCOCK

Thank You, Lord Jesus, that You daily walk with my children, that You daily plan for my children’s futures and that You have designed my children uniquely for their generation to be Your light in this world. Release Your full potential in them, and show them daily how to walk in it, Holy Spirit. In Your name, Jesus, I pray this for each of my children. Amen.

— D
INEEN
M
ILLER

Abba Father, I’m placing my children in the palm of Your hand this very hour. I ask You to anoint my children with a fire so that they will live a fulfilling life in Your presence. Place in these children a hunger for more of You and for Your purposes for their lives. Reveal in tender love the true character traits You instilled into my children. Empower my children to step into their destinies with the courage of Joshua and Caleb. Create opportunities daily for them to witness Your love in action, Your grace in great measure and Your forgiveness that brings freedom. Then place these qualities into their hearts, and let them live there forever.

Walk with my children today, revealing to them Your power and purpose. Let my children live in the freedom of their true identity in Christ, and encourage them to step into the authority and privilege of royalty. Perfect their destinies.

Bring them joy in everyday living, peace to share with the world, love that overcomes all evil and a light that changes the atmospheres in which they walk. Shine in them so brightly that thousands are brought home to You. Lord, may my children become all that You desire and may they bring great honor, glory and power to Your name. I ask in the name of King Jesus. Amen.

— L
ynn
D
onovan

Scripture Prayers We Can
Pray for Our Children

Psalm 4:3
(NKJV):
“But know that the L
ORD
has set apart for Himself him who is godly.”

My child has been set apart to serve You, Lord. Help me as a mother to see my child as holy and destined for great things in Your kingdom. Help me to gently guide my child in Your ways.

John 1:12: “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

Lord, my child is Your child. Please reveal Yourself to my child in ways that he or she will receive salvation and will thrive in this life.

Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Lord, help me to model kindness and compassion and to instill these qualities into my child. I ask that these qualities will guide my child in all his or her relationships.

Jeremiah 15:16 (NLT): “When I discovered your words, I devoured them. They are my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, O L
ORD
God of Heaven’s Armies.”

Place in my children a hunger for Your holy Word, and may the Scriptures be the wisdom and truth that lead them all their lives.

Proverbs 13:20: “Walk with the wise and become wise.”

Lord Almighty, let my children choose their friends wisely. Keep them from the influence of people who appear to offer friendship but who will lead them away from You. Lord, surround my children with friendships that are honorable, sincere, kind and fruitful. Let a genuine love and commitment rise out of these friendships that are centered in You. This is my plea from a mother’s heart.

Ephesians 6:10: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”

Almighty Father, surround my children with Your protection. Help me to teach them to place their armor on as they walk into the world. Make them strong in the Lord, and may they live in the authority and power You intend them to. When they battle evil, go before them and lead them to victory and peace.

Luke 2:52: “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.”

Abba Daddy, I humbly ask that my children grow up learning the value of wisdom. Bless them with Your wisdom. Grant them the discernment and wisdom that the world doesn’t understand. Let my children see circumstances and opportunities through the lens of the Bible. And because You have graced my children with great wisdom, let them humbly grow in great favor with man and even more so in Your great favor.

Psalm 37:4: “Take delight in the L
ORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Great King, this verse is the desire of my mother’s heart. May my children take such great delight in You that they find their way through this life with joy, experience Your lavish love daily and receive riches unending. May they delight in You, and as they do, I pray that You will bless them with every desire of their heart.

APPENDIX 4

Bringing Faith Home:
Family-Faith Traditions
and Projects

Charities

(Dineen)

Almost every Christmas, my youngest daughter, Leslie, and I find special goodies with which to fill a shoebox-sized container for Operation Christmas Child. We also support two World Vision children year-round, one of whom my daughter picked and contributed part of her allowance to. Doing these kinds of things can be a great way to help our children develop a sense of connection and a heart for others in need. Have your kids join you in selecting a child to support. Our special kids share the same birthday month as my girls. Getting the reports from these children and seeing them thrive has been profoundly rewarding for us.

Heart Attack

(Lynn)

One year for Valentine’s Day I cut out pink-, purple-, white- and rose-colored hearts from construction paper—about 20 of them. The hearts were about three inches across. With a Sharpie I wrote down on each heart one of the qualities or characteristics that I love about my daughter. I wrote, “You are beautiful,” “You love Jesus,” “You are a good friend,” “You are a great student,” “You love animals,” “You are smart,” “You are funny,” etc. After my daughter went to bed, I taped the hearts to her door. When she woke in the morning, she received a heart attack that filled her heart with love. I also did this for my spouse. The hearts hung on my daughter’s and my husband’s doors for more than a year.

Resurrection Eggs

(Lynn)

I shared the story in chapter 3 about how every Easter we pull out the carton of Family Life’s Resurrection Eggs and reenact the story of the Passion Week through the contents of the egg. A family favorite.

Chocolate Crosses

(Dineen)

As a kid, I loved getting an Easter basket full of goodies each year. I wanted to carry on this family tradition with my kids, but I wanted to make it about Jesus too. I don’t know which candy company started making chocolate crosses, but I’m so glad they did. Every year my girls received a small chocolate bunny
and
a chocolate cross. Most drugstores carry them, but shop early, because they seem to go fast. Gee, imagine that.

Tablecloth of Thanks

(Lynn)

When my daughter was young, I threw a pristine, white tablecloth across our dining room table the first week in November. I gave my daughter a color-fast pen and said, “Write your thanks right on this tablecloth.” At first, of course, she thought I was nuts, but she picked up the pen and scribbled out something completely cute for a little girl. I then told her to sign her name and to write the year, 2006. Every year since then we have placed this tablecloth in the dining room, and each family member writes what he or she is thankful for that year. Guests have shared their blessings in this way, and even one of our dogs added his thanks! I don’t know how he grew fingers, but he wrote that he was thankful for dog bones. *grin.*

This tablecloth has become our favorite holiday tradition in our home. It is a powerful witness to my husband, and it shouts of God’s love and favor for the rich blessings He pours out upon our home.

Thankful Jar

(Liz, a Reader)

I have a “thankful jar” that sits on the living-room table year round. All year my family members add notes to the jar on which are written things that we are thankful for. On Thanksgiving we pull out the pieces of paper and read them. A few weeks after the holiday, I paste all the notes into an annual “thankful journal” so that I will be able to keep the kids’ thoughts, thanks and handwriting forever.

Christmas Quilt Calendar

(Dineen)

I remember as a child counting the days down to Christmas with Hershey Chocolate Kisses. My mother would purchase a calendar that had a kiss attached to each day leading up to the twenty-fifth, much like the chocolate advent calendars we see each year.

This became my inspiration one year to create a calendar for my girls. I did a lot of quilting at the time, and I found a great tree pattern. I used it to create the calendar and then made a pocketed border on three sides of the tree. On each pocket I painted the day of the month, except for the pocket for the thirteenth (Leslie’s birthday), the twentieth (Rachel’s birthday) and the twenty-fifth (Jesus’ birthday). On each of those I painted the birthday person’s name. Then in each pocket I put a miniature ornament for the girls to hang on a tree in the center of the calendar (they hung the ornaments on tiny bells that I had sewn into the fabric) and a wrapped chocolate treat.

To this day my girls love this calendar, and even as adults they insist that I hang it up and load the pockets with ornaments and chocolates. The ornaments have been changed periodically through the years, but the tiny baby Jesus in His manger remains the pinnacle of the calendar and sits atop the tree.

Kids love things like this, and with these kinds of traditions comes the chance to remind them all December long of the true meaning of Christmas.

Advent Wreath

(Dineen)

Another family tradition that we love in our home during the holiday season is an Advent wreath. If you do an Internet search on this, you will discover various adaptations and ideas for this project. I fell in love with this tradition while at our church in Zürich, and I kept it simple for my family at home. Just a green wreath (fake or real) with four purple or burgundy candles around the outside to count down each of the four Sundays in Advent (in December) and a white center candle for the Christ child to be lit on Christmas day. Each year the hunt for this special center candle became part of our tradition as we looked for a candle worthy of the baby Jesus, our Savior. We would even pray for God to lead us to one decorated with sparkles and glitter in honor of Jesus. Each Sunday as we lit a candle, we talked about a specific Scripture that had to do with hope, joy, peace or love, always ending our talk on the final Sunday with the theme of love.

The Jesus Box

(Dineen)

Find a special box, or decorate one with your kids. As Christmas approaches, ask your children to think about what gift they would like to give Jesus (as a birthday present). This is a conceptual gift, of course, so give your children some ideas to get them started. Suggest things such as making a commitment to read one Bible verse every day, to not talk back to mom, or to make a new kid at school feel welcome. Have your kids write down their special gift idea and put it in the box, and then place the box under the tree on Christmas Day. Each year, before you place your new “gifts” in the box, let your kids read what they wrote the year before. It’s a great way to talk to them about spiritual growth and about the importance of keeping our commitments to God.

The Jesus Cake/Happy Birthday Jesus Party

(Dineen)

I first heard of this when I was living in Memphis, Tennessee, and I was delighted to see it in Europe as well. Again, search online for “Jesus birthday cake.” You’ll find ideas for throwing a complete birthday party. But the cake is my favorite part of this idea, because each layer is colored to represent some aspect of Jesus, and the icing and decorations incorporate the reason for His birth and His death as well. Throw a party with your children for baby Jesus, and have fun!

Nativity Scenes

(Dineen)

This may be a tradition you already hold dear. My girls loved setting up the Nativity scene each year. During our first Christmas in Europe, I noticed that a friend’s Nativity scene was missing the baby Jesus. I asked her what had happened to Him. She explained that it was a tradition for them to hide the baby Jesus and that the children had to find Him on Christmas morning and return Him to the manger. How symbolic of finding our salvation in Jesus!

APPENDIX 5

Leader’s Guide
Small Group Study

Lynn and Dineen

The greatest among you will be your servant. For those
who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those
who humble themselves will be exalted.

MATTHEW 23:11-12

Leading a small group is one of the most rewarding investments you will make in the kingdom of God. Thank you for giving your time, love and prayers to help others discover hope for their children. Dineen and I have prayed for you, asking the Lord to bless you as you facilitate this study.

Helpful Hints as You Begin

• Love on the ladies who are in your group. Make them feel welcomed and comfortable.
  
• Listen more and talk less. Keep confidences. Encourage the women to share, and assure them that your study is a safe place in which they are free to be authentic.
  
• Encourage uplifting talk of husbands and dads, and let the women know that your group is not a place for husband or father bashing.
  
• Encourage each member of your group to speak. Although some individuals share more easily than others, these ladies sometimes dominate conversations. Steer the conversation to allow everyone a chance to contribute to it. Thank those who share frequently, then ask someone who is quiet to share her thoughts.
  
• Always use the Bible as the basis for truth in your group. Encourage women to search out and to provide Scriptures to support their opinions.
  
• Use discernment, share your heart with authenticity and allow yourself to be vulnerable without making the group uncomfortable.
  
• Be sensitive to your members’ time. Begin the study on time, and end on time.
  
• Invite the Holy Spirit into your group, and expect the love of Christ to transform lives.
  
• If at any time you feel that any member of your group or her children may be exposed to abuse or addiction, encourage her to seek professional Christian counseling. Seek wise counsel from your church pastor as well.
  
• Visit
  www.MismatchedandThriving.com
  for free handouts and study support materials that can be used at any time in your group study.