Never Say Goodbye (8 page)

‘Did you bring the calendar?’ Josie whispered as they opened their bags ready to load them on to the scanner.

‘Yeah, it’s here,’ Lily replied, pulling it out of her backpack. ‘I didn’t wrap it, like you said, but I brought some paper and sticky tape just in case we can do it once we’re through. It’ll be nice for him to have a surprise to open on Christmas Day.’

‘Great minds,’ Josie smiled. ‘I’ve brought some paper and sticky tape too. Did you think to bring any labels?’

‘No, but I’ve got a pen so we can write on the wrapping. What did you get him in the end?’

‘I found a copy of Beckham’s autobiography in really good nick at the Book End Store on Fairley Avenue, so that and a three-pack of socks. Nan tried to get me to bring a girlie magazine from her, but I swapped it for a copy of
Shoot
when she wasn’t looking.’

Lily giggled. ‘She’s a riot. Is she coming on Christmas Day?’

‘Presumably, unless she gets a better offer. You know what she’s like.’

‘And what about Grandpa Clark, is he coming?’

‘As far as I know Dad’s picking him up on Christmas morning, same as usual. We got the tree down from the attic last night, trouble is we haven’t managed to find the ornaments yet so it’s still standing there as bare as Mother Hubbard’s cupboard. I just hope they didn’t get thrown out by mistake last year when we packed everything up, or we’ll have to go without.’

‘What about lights?’

‘It’s pre-lit, so that’s OK. I expect Jasper’s family have a real tree, don’t they?’

‘I’m not sure, but probably.’

‘Bit posh, are they, Jasper’s family?’ the woman behind them cut in. ‘What kind of bloody name’s that when it’s at home?’ she shouted for anyone to hear. ‘Jasper! I ask you. Sounds like a bloody cat to me.’

Easing herself between Lily and the woman, Josie was preparing to follow Lily through to the other side of the scanner when a siren suddenly began wailing fit to deafen them all.

‘OK, ladies and gentlemen, step back into the reception please,’ an officer shouted above the din.

‘What the bloody hell?’ the woman behind them growled.

‘What’s going on?’ someone else demanded.

‘All right, you don’t have to push!’ an angry old woman snapped.

‘There aren’t going to be any visits today,’ the officer informed them.

‘What?’ Josie cried in alarm, along with several others. ‘Why not? What’s happening?’

‘We’ve got a security breach,’ the officer replied, still ushering the crowd back to the door.

‘But how?’ she protested. ‘No one did anything . . .’

‘Not here, in the prison,’ he explained. ‘Now, pick up your belongings, those of you who’ve put them on the scanner, make sure you don’t leave anything behind or you’ll lose it.’

‘But we’ve got Christmas presents,’ Lily objected. ‘This is our last chance. If we can’t give them now, they’ll have to go without.’

Ignoring her, the officer said, ‘That’s it, folks, time to go home.’

‘You can’t do this,’ a balding man in a smart parka coat informed him hotly. ‘Prisoners have rights too and . . .’

‘Take it up with your MP,’ the officer interrupted.

‘Please will you take this to my son,’ Josie implored. ‘It’s just a book. It can’t do any harm. His name’s Ryan Clark . . .’

‘Sorry, Mrs, no can do. Now move along please, you don’t want to end up on the wrong side of the door when lockdown hits over here.’

Minutes later, crushed, angry and perplexed, Josie and Lily were in the biting wind once more, heading for the bus stop half a mile away that offered no shelter or timetable indicating when to expect the next bus.

‘Poor Ryan,’ Lily murmured, as she snuggled in more tightly to her mother for warmth. There was only a small crowd with them, since most had arrived by car, and it didn’t seem anyone felt inclined to offer lifts into town to those less fortunate. ‘Has this ever happened before when you’ve come?’ she asked.

Josie shook her head. ‘And for it to happen now, right in front of Christmas . . .’ She was so upset she hardly knew what she wanted to say. He’d have been looking forward to their visit, pinning all his hopes on what they might bring for Christmas, savouring every last detail of what they said so he could go over it again after they’d gone. He’d told her in one of his letters that was what he did, and she had to admit she did much the same thing.

He was so lonely, so wretched about what had happened to him, that it could just about break her heart.

‘I know, why don’t you leave everything with me?’ Lily suggested. ‘Jaz and I can try to drop it off on Monday morning before we drive down to Kesterly. You never know, as it’s Christmas, they might accept it.’

Since it was the only chance they had of getting something to Ryan, Josie had to agree, though handing over the small bag she’d packed especially for him wasn’t easy. She had so desperately wanted to give it to him herself, not because there was anything all that special inside, but because she’d have been able to see his face when he took it, watch the way his eyes drank everything in before he broke into one of his dear smiles.

‘I’ll write to him tonight,’ she said. ‘He’ll understand why we couldn’t see him, obviously, but I want him to know that we tried. If I get it in the post on Monday it might be with him by Tuesday.’

Hugging her, Lily said, ‘You’re the best mum in the world, do you know that?’

Josie glanced along the busy main road, hoping for a sign of the bus.

‘You’re not listening to me,’ Lily chided.

‘I am,’ Josie corrected, ‘but you’re talking nonsense as usual.’

‘Charming,’ Lily teased. ‘And there was me trying to cheer you up.’

Feeling a smile pushing up from her heart, Josie said, ‘I’m OK, just a bit disappointed. Well, very disappointed, but I’ll get over it. You don’t think he had anything to do with the security breach, do you?’

Lily sighed, as if having expected the question. ‘I shouldn’t think so, Mum. He’s always telling us how he’s keeping his head down, trying not to get involved with anyone else so he can get out early on good behaviour.’

But Jeff was right, Ryan was easily led. ‘And he hasn’t been in any trouble since he went in there,’ Josie responded, trying to bolster herself, ‘so I expect I’m worrying about nothing.’

‘As usual, but I’m sure I’d be the same if he was my son. It’s bad enough him being my brother.’

Always concerned for how badly this business might have impacted on her daughter, Josie said, ‘Have you told Jasper’s parents about him yet, and why he probably won’t be at the wedding?’

‘No, but I keep telling you, if he’s
really
good he might be out in time.’

It was a happy thought, but still not one Josie could pin much hope on. ‘Aren’t you worried how they’ll feel about you having a convicted criminal for a brother?’ she asked.

Lily shrugged. ‘Jaz isn’t bothered by it, and that’s what matters to me. Anyway, his parents are really cool. You wait and see, they’re dead easy to get on with and they’re really keen to meet you and Dad.’

Feeling slightly anxious about that, not only because of Ryan, but because of the difference in their social standing, Josie said, ‘I suppose we ought to set something up.’

‘Definitely, we will, as soon as they get back from Singapore. Richard, Jaz’s dad, has got offices in Singapore, so they tend to split their time between here and there. Anyway, I honestly can’t see him or Miriam, Jaz’s mum, turning their backs on us because of a stupid mistake Ryan made. They’re just not like that.’

Unable to imagine the Cunninghams taking such a relaxed view of matters, Josie decided it was time to let the subject drop. She could spend the whole journey back to Kesterly worrying about Ryan, and right now it was only fair to focus more on Lily.

By the time the bus finally dropped them at the train station Lily was still in full flow about the wedding, and since Josie didn’t have the heart to cut her short just yet, she took her for a cup of tea in the station caff.

‘What about you?’ Lily cried, when Josie only ordered one.

‘I don’t fancy one much,’ Josie lied. She wasn’t going to admit that she only had enough in her purse for her bus fare home when she got back to Kesterly.

Please God let Jeff have a ton of bookings in the lead-up to Christmas, because things were so tight now that she was becoming seriously worried about where it would end. Every last penny of her wages between now and then had to go towards paying for gas, electric and rent, or they were going to end up cut off, or out on the street, which would make a right merry Christmas for them all. At least Fliss, at the caff, had promised her a bonus at the end of her shift on Christmas Eve, and Mr Crover-Keene usually paid a bit extra into her account at this time of year, as well. If they both came good she’d be down Aldi quicker than you could say Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for the Christmas shop. Actually, she wouldn’t go until six p.m. on Christmas Eve, which was when all the prices generally got slashed. She’d grabbed a four-kilo turkey last year for under a fiver, and a ham for two quid and even a bit of smoked salmon for one pound fifty. That was a rare treat for them, smoked salmon, and didn’t they all just lap it up for a starter with a slice of lemon and brown-bread triangles?

All being well she’d get lucky again this year. She might even win the lottery if she found a spare pound for a ticket.

Clicking on her phone as it rang, she said, ‘Hi love, everything all right with you?’

‘Bloody car’s gone and broken down again,’ Jeff growled.

Oh no, oh no.

‘I was halfway up West Bay Hill when the sodding engine just upped and died. Lucky Harry Philips wasn’t far away so he could come and take over the fare.’

‘So where are you now?’ Josie asked, feeling Lily’s watchful eyes probing her face.

‘Getting towed to Trev’s place so he can have a look at it.’

‘Then don’t let the police catch you on the phone, the last thing we need is a fine.’

‘I know, I know. I just want someone to tell me how the bloody hell I’m supposed to earn a living in that old crock when it’s about as reliable as your mother’s tips on the horses.’

Taking a quick breath she said, ‘All right, listen. As soon as you’re at Trev’s, give my cousin Steve a ring and ask if you can borrow his Mondeo while he’s in Spain. He goes on Monday till after the new year, so that should be long enough for Trev to get ours up and running again.’

‘Unless we need parts that we aren’t going to get over Christmas.’

‘Try to look on the bright side. I’ll be home in a couple of hours, I’m sure you’ll have it sorted out by then. Now please ring off before someone spots you on the phone.’

‘Poor Dad,’ Lily sympathised as Josie put her mobile down. ‘That car really stresses him, and I have to tell you it worries me a lot to think of him driving it.’

You and me both,
Josie was thinking.

‘You wait till I’m earning,’ Lily ran on, ‘first thing I’m going to buy is a decent car for you two so you can come and visit us any time you like no matter where we are, unless it’s abroad obviously, but then we’ll pay for your air fares, or maybe we’ll spring for a cruise . . .’

‘How you dream on,’ Josie chided playfully. ‘Let’s get Christmas out of the way, shall we, and then you should be knuckling down to study for your finals . . .’

‘. . . while you organise the wedding.’

Josie cocked an eyebrow. ‘I knew it would all come down to me in the end,’ she retorted, ‘but don’t worry, I’m happy to do it, just as long as you don’t keep changing your mind every five minutes.’

‘As if! Once I’ve decided on something, that’s it, no going back.’

Laughing, Josie said, ‘I’ll remind you of that when the time comes. Now I’ll leave you to drink that while I go and find out if my ticket’ll allow me to get an earlier train.’ As she got up Lily caught her hand.

‘Are you OK, Mum?’ she asked as Josie looked at her in surprise.

‘Of course,’ Josie laughed. ‘Don’t I seem it?’

Lily shrugged. ‘You just seem . . . I don’t know, not your usual self, I suppose.’

Josie squeezed her hand. ‘You know how I get about Ryan,’ she said. ‘And not being able to see him today . . .’

Though she still didn’t appear entirely convinced, Lily smiled and let go of her.

By the time Josie came back to the table Lily was engrossed in sending a text. ‘Jaz wants to know how much we owe for the karaoke tickets,’ she said as Josie sat down.

‘I’m not sure,’ Josie replied, ‘you can sort it out with Bob on Monday. He wants a list of the songs you’re up for, so drop him an email when you get home to let him know.’

Dear Bob, always good for a couple of drinks as well as three or four tickets, but it wouldn’t be fair to take too much advantage of his generosity when someone like Jasper could well afford to pay his way. They probably ought to put Bob and his wife on the guest list for the wedding, considering how good they’d been to the Clark family over the years.

Ten minutes later she was leaning out of a train window with Lily standing on the platform waving cheerio and pretending to cry.

‘I’ll be home on Monday,’ Lily reminded her as the train began inching out of the station, ‘don’t miss me too much till then.’

‘I’ll try not to, but it’ll be hard,’ Josie informed her. ‘And don’t forget to take those things over to Ryan.’

‘Promise I won’t. Love you, Mum.’

‘Love you too.’

‘Love to Dad.’

‘And to Jasper.’

‘Don’t talk to any strangers.’

Josie laughed. ‘Nor you.’

‘Let me know if I can bring anything on Monday.’

‘You and Jasper will be plenty.’

‘OK. Still love you.’

‘Still love you too.’

‘Best mum in the world.’

‘Best girl.’

Lily winked and blew a kiss.

Josie did the same and stood watching her daughter getting smaller and smaller until the train rounded a curve in the track and she was lost from view.

It’s just till Monday,
she reminded herself, as she went to take a seat,
so nothing to be feeling so upset about.
And she mustn’t allow herself to get worked up over what might be happening at the prison either, since she was sure it had nothing to do with Ryan, apart from the fact that he’d been denied his last visit before Christmas. Hopefully today’s visiting order would be valid for after the new year, given it hadn’t been used. She’d ring up on Monday to make sure, because if it wasn’t Ryan needed to get another to her pronto.