Never Say Goodbye (3 page)

‘Or Mum and Dad?’ Lily piped up mischievously.

Jeff narrowed her a look. ‘Josie and Jeff will do for now,’ he informed her. ‘I haven’t given my permission yet . . .’

‘But we know you’re going to.’

‘Oh do we?’ he retorted archly. ‘You shouldn’t take so much for granted, young lady. I need to find out what this lad’s prospects are, if he can keep you in the style to which you’ve become accustomed . . .’

‘
Dad!
This is Jasper you’re talking to.’

‘I’m aware of that, but he needs to know that you have certain standards . . .’

‘Mum!’ Lily cried. ‘You have to stop him.’

‘I only wish I knew how,’ Josie replied, stifling a laugh – and everything else she was feeling that she’d never dream of revealing in this joyous moment.

‘I think I know what you mean, Jeff,’ Jasper interrupted hastily. ‘Lily’s always been loved and fantastically well taken care of and treated to nothing but the best, so I want to assure you that I’m ready to pick up the mantle.’

Jeff flicked a glance at the fireplace. ‘Is that necessary?’ he asked.

Groaning at the joke, Josie said, ‘Take no notice of him, Jasper. Of course you have our permission . . .’

‘What?’ Jeff protested. ‘It was me he asked, not you, and what I want to know, my lad, is this: Have you got her up the duff, because if you haven’t I don’t understand what all the rush is. Mind you, if you have, I shall be showing you the door.’

‘What is he like?’ Lily complained, dropping her head in her hands. ‘No Dad, I’m not pregnant, and there isn’t any rush. It’s just that we know we want to spend the rest of our lives together . . .’

‘You’re twenty-one!’ Jeff expostulated. ‘How can you possibly know anything? You haven’t even been out into the big wide world yet . . .’

‘Excuse me, who’s at uni in this room?’ Lily challenged. ‘And exactly how old were you and Mum when you got married?’

‘That’s not the point . . .’

‘It’s absolutely the point. You knew your minds when you were our age, so why should it be any different for us?’

‘What I’m telling you is that we thought we knew a lot of things back then that time has proved us wrong about. Isn’t that right?’ he challenged Josie.

Though it was on the tip of her tongue to ask if Dawnie Hopkins might feature in his thinking somewhere, Josie said, ‘I think we’ve always been certain of how we feel about each other, haven’t we?’

The flush that crept up from his collar showed that he’d got her meaning. ‘OK, we’ve never been in any doubt about that,’ he conceded, ‘but maybe we wouldn’t have had children so young if we’d known what hard work you can be.’

Lily broke into one of her more dazzling smiles. ‘You know very well that your life wasn’t complete until I came along,’ she informed him playfully.

‘And my pockets weren’t empty either, nor was my hair grey or the bags under my eyes big enough to bring the groceries home in.’

‘You still wouldn’t be without me.’

Jeff regarded Jasper helplessly. ‘Are you sure about this?’ he asked, as though he really couldn’t believe he’d be so insane.

Grinning all over his face, Jasper nodded. ‘I’m sure,’ he replied, tightening his hold on Lily’s hand. ‘More than sure, if that’s possible.’

Jeff sighed. ‘Then I wish you good luck, son, because you’re getting yourself a handful there, take it from me.’ His tone softened as he added, ‘You’ve also got a star prize and I should know, because I got one of my own when I was your age, and Lily’s nothing if not her mother’s daughter.’

‘Oh Dad,’ Lily gushed, throwing her arms around him. ‘That’s such a lovely thing to say, about me, and about Mum.’

Relieved no one was paying her too much attention, Josie joined in the hugs and tried to make herself think only of what she needed to say next.

Thank goodness for tea.

‘No, no,’ Lily objected. ‘We’ve brought champagne. That’s what’s in the bag.’

Jeff’s eyes widened.

‘Well, it’s a special occasion,’ Lily pointed out. ‘So I thought we should toast it properly.’

Shaking his head, as if such extravagance was beyond his comprehension, Jeff looked to Josie for some sort of guidance.

‘I’ll get the glasses,’ she declared, and finding herself keen for a sip of something she didn’t have very often, she headed for the dresser where they kept the flutes they’d won at bingo on holiday in Dawlish when Lily was ten and Ryan was seven.

‘So, here’s to you two and a happy future together,’ Jeff declared when the glasses were full. ‘I still don’t know why you have to do it . . .’

‘Dad!’

‘Jeff!’

‘All right, all right, I was just saying, that’s all.’

Taking over, Josie said, ‘Congratulations to you both. I think you’re very lucky to have found each other, and we’re lucky too, because we’ll get to have Jasper as a son-in-law.’

Apparently thrilled with the toast, Jasper and Lily clinked her glass, did the same to Jeff’s and drank.

‘So when’s the big day?’ Jeff wanted to know. ‘Not too soon, I hope.’

‘Actually,’ Lily replied, glancing at her beloved, ‘we were thinking of next summer.’

Jeff’s eyes went straight to Josie’s. ‘And they’re not rushing?’ he queried ironically.

Concerned, Josie said, ‘This is your final year. Wouldn’t you rather wait until you’ve graduated and perhaps decided what you want to do after . . .?’

‘Whatever we do,’ Lily interrupted, ‘we know we want to do it together, so what difference does it make when we tie the knot?’

A lot, if your father and I have to pay for it
, Josie managed not to say, while knowing it was exactly what Jeff was thinking.

‘We thought we could have the ceremony at St Mark’s where you and Dad got married,’ Lily ran on eagerly, ‘and the reception at Kesterly Golf Club in that huge room overlooking the sea. Jaz is going to ask his brother to be best man, and Dad you’ll give me away, but you’re not allowed to cry or it’ll make me cry too and I don’t want to turn up at the church with mascara down my face. Oh Mum, just think how wonderful it’s going to be, shopping for dresses, choosing the flowers and the menus. We’re up to about eighty people so far, but I know you and Dad’ll want to invite lots of your friends too, so you can decide how many we should be.’

Still taking care not to blurt out her biggest concern, Josie said, ‘Well, it sounds as though you two really have been making plans. And what about your parents, Jasper? Have you broken the happy news to them yet?’

‘No, we’re planning to drive over there at the weekend,’ he told her. ‘We wanted to share it with you first, so I could ask for Lily’s hand – and make a total prat of myself in doing so – and be sure you were cool with it all.’

Josie looked at Jeff. ‘I think we’re cool, don’t you?’ she prompted.

‘Very cool,’ he agreed, in a way that told her he was probably in need of a lie-down now the potential cost of it was starting to sink in. ‘And your parents,’ he went on, ‘do you think they’ll be . . .’

Please don’t let him say willing to pay.

‘. . . happy to hear you’re getting married?’

Jasper didn’t look in any doubt of it as he turned his lovestruck eyes to his equally lovestruck sweetheart. ‘They’re going to be thrilled,’ he assured them.

Looking slightly less than, Jeff asked, ‘And what if they want you to get married over near them?’

Knowing this was a desperate hope that the Cunninghams might weigh in for at least part of the bill if it was happening on their doorstep, Josie said, ‘We don’t have to make any concrete decisions now. We can . . .’

‘Oh, but we ought to go and see the vicar to find out what dates are available,’ Lily jumped in quickly. ‘You know how booked up they get at St Mark’s with it being in such a pretty location, and at the golf club. We might find out they can’t fit us in until the year after next anyway, but at least we’ll be able to make plans once we have dates.’

Feeling Jeff grasping the straw with her, Josie said, ‘This is true, you might indeed have to wait until the year after next, which wouldn’t actually be such a bad thing. We’ll have had plenty of time to track down the right dress by then, maybe even to have it specially made . . .’

‘I’m going to do that anyway,’ Lily chipped in. ‘There’s this brilliant designer who was featured in the
Bristol
magazine. You should see her stuff, Mum. Talk about Jenny Packham stand aside.’

‘Who?’ Jeff wanted to know.

‘Let’s hope she’s not charging Jenny Packham prices,’ Josie quipped.

‘Oh, I don’t think so,’ Lily responded dismissively. ‘Anyway, do you want to come and see the vicar with us?’

Josie blinked. ‘Now?’

‘Why not now? We’re here, he’s there, or presumably he is . . .’

‘What about talking to Jasper’s parents first?’ Jeff put in. ‘They might not take too kindly to being cut out of all the decisions.’

‘Oh, they won’t mind,’ Jasper promised, in a way that reminded Josie of Ryan. What was it with kids that they assumed everything they did was OK with their parents?

‘Do you think we should ring first, or just turn up?’ Lily wondered, looking at her mother. ‘What did you do when you booked your wedding?’

‘Oh God, I can’t remember that far back,’ Josie protested.

‘Maybe we should send an email,’ Jasper suggested.

‘Yeah, if we want to wait a week for a reply,’ Lily countered.

‘We can’t all fit into that car,’ Josie pointed out.

‘Dad can take us in the taxi.’

Knowing what Lily was like once her mind was made up, Josie threw out her hands as she said, ‘OK, let me run upstairs and put a face on first. I don’t want the vicar thinking we’re there to sort out my funeral.’

‘Not funny,’ Lily called after her as she ran up the stairs.

No, it wasn’t funny actually, but Jeff had always been better with the jokes than she had.

She’d got no further than rubbing in a spot of foundation when Lily appeared in the doorway. When she didn’t speak, Josie glanced at her reflection in the mirror. ‘Everything OK?’ she asked.

Lily frowned in a way that Josie wasn’t expecting. ‘What is it, Mum?’ she asked. ‘And before you say nothing, remember how well I know you.’

Though Josie’s heart twisted, she couldn’t help but smile. ‘Would that be as well as I know you?’

Lily nodded. ‘Something’s not right,’ she said bluntly, ‘and I want to know what it is. It’s Ryan, isn’t it? You’re wondering how we can invite him.’

‘Ryan’s definitely a concern,’ Josie admitted. ‘Surely you want him to be there?’

‘Of course we do, and he will be if they let him out early.’

Josie regarded her with fond despair. ‘You know that’s not very likely,’ she said.

‘You have to look on the positive side,’ Lily insisted. ‘I’m definitely not giving up hope of him coming home sooner than we think. After all, anything can happen between now and then.’

Josie’s gaze drifted. Yes, indeed anything could happen between now and then.

‘There’s something else, isn’t there?’ Lily said, coming to sit on the end of the bed so she could see her mother’s reflection more clearly. ‘I’m guessing you’re worried about how much it’s going to cost.’

Josie’s eyebrows rose. She couldn’t lie about that, any more than she could magic the funds out of thin air. In fact, part of her could feel quite angry with Lily for not considering how difficult it would be for her parents to throw a lavish wedding at any time over the next couple of years, when she knew very well that all their savings, and Jeff’s redundancy, had been used up on trying to help Ryan.

All the more reason for Lily to have everything she wanted; after all, it had never been their practice to give to one and not the other. So maybe her anger was more towards Ryan.

Lily was nodding knowledgeably. ‘I told Jaz you’d see it as your responsibility,’ she declared, ‘but it’s not, Mum, it’s ours. We’re the ones who want to do this, so we’re the ones who should pay.’

Josie regarded her in astonishment. ‘And where exactly are you going to get the money from?’ she demanded, knowing very well that Lily was no better at existing on her meagre allowance than she and Jeff were on their equally meagre wages. ‘The kind of wedding you’re proposing could set you back fifteen grand or more.’

‘I know, but Jaz came into some money on his twenty-first that will more than cover it. So, you see, it’s all sorted. You don’t have to worry about a thing, apart from what you’re going to wear, and helping me organise it all.’

Avoiding her eyes, Josie smiled past the lump in her throat.

Turning her round so she could see into her mother’s eyes, Lily said, ‘Why do I still have the feeling that you’re keeping something back?’

Because I am,
Josie couldn’t say.
And I have to, because there’s no way in the world I’m going to spoil this special day for you. Or any other day, come to that
. ‘You’re imagining things,’ Josie told her with a smile.

Maybe she was too. It could be that the sore swelling in her left breast that had been there for a while now wasn’t the onset of something terrible. There was every chance it was just a boil that wouldn’t break, or an inflamed cyst. She’d had cysts before, so there was no reason for this one to be any different, apart from the fact that it was all red and angry. She hadn’t found anything online to tell her what it might be, but now she was perimenopausal, as they liked to call it, her hormones were no doubt up to all sorts of tricks that she didn’t begin to understand. So she wasn’t worried, really. She probably wouldn’t even be thinking about it if she hadn’t read a piece in the paper this morning about how many women’s lives could be saved if they’d only get tested as soon as something unusual showed up.

She wasn’t going to ignore it any longer. She’d ring the surgery tomorrow to make an appointment, which she probably wouldn’t get for a week or more, and by then the swelling would no doubt have gone down of its own accord. If it had, she’d cancel her session to make room for someone who really needed it.

‘I’m not hiding anything,’ she told Lily firmly. ‘Now let me get ready, will you? We’ve got a vicar to see and a wedding to start arranging.’

‘
THIS ONE! THIS
one! Please Auntie Bel, can we have this one?’