Never Say Goodbye (22 page)

Ella

"
Hey! Open this damn visor! HEY!" I bang my fists against the black panel blocking me from
the driver. "OPEN THIS NOW!" I scream. I fall to my left and into the stand that holds the champagne. My shoulder is cut, blood pouring down my arm and onto my dress.
    
The limo swings left and I fall against the seat. I need something to hold on to. Who the fuck is this maniac?
Where is my purse? Shit, that driver took it. Shit, shit! I move to the back of the limo and it goes over a speed bump at what feels a thousand miles an hour. I hit the ceiling and hold my hand to my head.
    
"FUCK! Fucking fuck!" I try the door and it's locked.
All of a sudden, music fills my ears and is so loud I have to cover them. The limo comes to a complete stop, which causes me to fall flat on my face. "Fucking hell." I mutter and push up on my arms to sit back up. The door opens and fear is all I can feel.
    
"Out of the limo now, bitch!"
That voice…

Luke

"Right, Dylan, I've phoned my dad, he has security devices linked to all his limos from the firm, so he's going to send me the tracking details when he finds them. Until then, I need you guys to help me find it. I can't believe this is happening on our fucking prom!" I say, my hands running through my hair.
    
"Dude, it's okay, we've all got your back alright, man?" Says Dylan.
    
"Cheers, guys." I give them all a nod and they disperse to their cars.
Come on baby, where are you.
My phone vibrates in my hand.

*She's with me. She won't be for long
. *

I text back.

*What have you done? *

*
Nothing…*

I sigh in relief. My phone vibrates again.

*Yet…*

Fuck! Fucking hell! I can't lose her, I can't ever lose her. This is
entirely my fault. She wouldn't be in this position if it weren’t for me. All she wanted was to be accepted tonight, and I have fucked that up for
her. I shouldn't have gone near her, I should’ve kept away, but she enticed me in, her broken demeanor and selflessness caused something deep to move inside me.
    
All the plans I had for our last night, ruined.
She's under my skin.
It burns when I'm not with her; it causes pain to not have her touch. Her cooling fingers are all that calms me.
Tomorrow, I have to fucking
leave
her. She's better off without me. I only ever brought her trouble. If I were her, I would have left me.

Ella

    
"Get out! NOW!"
I stay sitting on the floor of the limo and arms grab at me, pulling me out the door. I fall to the ground and it hurts. My knee stings with pain. I try push myself up, but she hits me across the face and I fall back to the ground. I scrunch the leaves up in my hands, with anger.
I look up but everything seems blurred.
    
"Sarah?" I whisper and she laughs. She cackles loudly and it makes my blood set on fire. "What the fuck, Sarah?" I ask and stand to my feet. I pull off my shoes and drop them beside me. I don't know what she's going to do and shoes like that won't help me.
    
"You really have no fucking clue do you?" She spits. "You're so fucking stupid it hurts to watch. You took him from me, you and the rest of the other bitches he tried to fuck." She looks down at her cell and smiles.
"Luke." She laughs, waggling the phone in her hand, and throws it behind her.
    
"He was in love with me, he told me. You're just another whore that was chosen for his last few weeks here. You mean nothing to him. Nada. He
loves
me." She hits me across the face again, but I stay upright and hold my cheek.
    
"When are you going to get that into your thick skull?" She groans loudly and goes to hit me again; I stop her with my hand and shove it away.
    
"You, Sarah, are fucking insane!" She laughs again loudly, and runs her fingers through her greasy hair.
    
"Insane, me?" She says and pulls a knife from her pocket. "Yeah, I'm insane, Ella." She stomps back towards me; the knife flying around in her hand and her nose is inches from mine.
"HE. IS. FUCKING. MINE!" She spits at me, her residue coating my face. I wipe a hand over my face and mouth to remove her from my skin.
    
"You can't claim a human being, Sarah," I say, my eyes scanning hers. "He doesn't want you." She falls backwards with laughter, the mud kicking up from her sneakers.
    
"I'm sorry?" She says, a wide victorious grin spread across her mouth. "But who did he have in his car
the other day? Oh yeah…ME. Who did he fuck that night? Well, I'll leave it to your imagination." She twirls the knife in her hand and stares at me intently.
    
"You're lying. Why are you doing this? What are you possibly going to gain from this? Apart from a prison sentence. Is it because you love him?" She inhales harshly, pulls a packet of cigarettes from her pocket, and lights one. The flame of the lighter is bright against the midnight air. She puts the cigarette to her dried lips, takes a long exaggerated drag, and blows the smoke in my face.
    
"Love him? If there were a word that could qualify for what I feel for him, it would be one hundred times better than love. That's not even half of what I feel for Luke. I feel so much more for him. More than you could ever, and that’s a fact." She recovers herself and steps back. "But you had to fucking ruin it all. You, your depression, and your ‘I cut myself’ bullshit. Nobody ever cared, Ella. You're just a waste of space, a waste of this precious oxygen."
    
I can feel the anger burn through me at a radical pace making me anxious. I clench my fingers into a fist and hold them at my sides. Her words would’ve hurt me a week ago, but right now, I'm stronger than ever.
    
"You, Sarah, need to back off. I may have had my issues, but at least I didn't steal my ex’s girl and nearly kill her. Why that night at the lake too? That was the second time Luke and I even saw each other and you hurt me. Why did you do that?"
    
"You deserved it."
    
“How the hell did I deserve that?"
    
"You took him from me." She says, her tone becoming more and more hostile.
    
"You didn't do that to Jenna though did you? Just me."
    
"Jenna isn't weak." She emphasizes the last word and I push the tears from my eyes. "You are a nothing, Ella. How long did it take for him to have sex with you? A day?"
    
"Fuck you, Sarah. Hurting someone just because you can't have them is not a reason to hurt them. I have a heartbeat too, y'know. I still feel every hit across my face. Why are you doing this? This can't just be because of Luke leaving you. It can't be." She backs off for a second her eyes focused on the ground, then snaps them back up to me, anger pained through her face. She takes two steps towards me and I move back so that I'm against the limo.
    
"Sarah, please." I whisper when her pale face is again, inches from mine.
    
"He's mine."
    
"No, he's not. He left you over a year ago. You need to let go."
    
"You don't tell me what I need to do. Not you, not fucking anyone."

Pain
.

That's all I can feel. It's strong, causing electricity to skim through my blood. The air won't come to my lungs. My strength is momentarily refused and I can't feel my body. I hold onto my stomach the pain
is spreading through me like a virus.

Luke

I snap my cell shut after receiving a call from my dad telling me the location of the limo. Dylan left me his car keys, so I jump into his hummer and drive as fast as I can.

This is my fucking fault. She
deserves
better. She
needs
better.

Ella

    
"Get up, Ella! Get the fuck up!" She screams and walks by me. I grab her ankle and pull her to the ground. I crawl up her body and hit her across the face. I jump to my feet but she grabs my ankle and pulls me back to the ground. We wrestle in the mud before she pins me down.
"I think someone needs to learn some manners." She warns and puts the knife to my throat. I close my eyes.
    
In that moment, all I can see is Jay. I'm an onlooker. He's waving at me and wants me to sit with him. I watch myself sit with him, my arms free from cuts, from blood, from bruises.
The tears in my eyes are real, like poison. He's telling me that he's not going to die.
That he's going to love me forever. His arms are frail and white, his blue eyes mere shadows against his sheet pale face. His lips curl up into a dry smile when I hold him. His eyes change to sadness and I can see it all.

I miss you.

I'm so sorry.

    
"Get off of her, right now!" Luke bellows out and Sarah scampers to her feet, dropping the knife beside me. I take in a deep breath and shut my eyes. The tears fall down my cheeks and into the mud below.
    
"Ella, baby?" Luke asks as he lifts me up. I open my eyes to him and he scans them, looking for me as if I've disappeared.
    
"Jesus, Sarah, what the hell?" He pulls me to my feet and holds me in an embrace.
    
"I was pregnant." She exclaims, we both turn to face her, tears falling heavy from her eyes. I look up at Luke, his face ashen and lost in her words.
    
"What?" He asks, his steps closing in on the distance between them.
    
"I was pregnant." She repeats, her stare intense against his.

Luke

Pregnant. Baby. Child. Me. Was.
My mind is racing with these words hoping for no truth from this.
    
"You're lying." I shout and she takes in a deep breath, her worried face choking on sobs.
    
"No, I'm not." She says and gulps back her tears. "I was pregnant. I
was
pregnant." She whispers and stares into my eyes.
Her soul is missing, I can't see her anymore. She's not the bubbly bright girl that I felt something for.
    
"Sarah, I swear to God right now, if you're lying and this is a ploy to hurt Ella any more than you already have, then I swear, I'll get the police down here right now and tell them what you did to her." Sarah holds back and looks over my shoulder at Ella.
    
"Not her, Sarah, me. Look at me." She snaps her gaze back to mine and shakes her head softly.
    
"You broke up with me just as I found out. I was going to tell you about it, about everything, but you took that away, you stopped what could’ve been something amazing. We could’ve been amazing." She writhes her fingers in and out of each other. Her frail body breathing harshly.
    
"What does this have to do with Ella? Why couldn't you have just told me yourself, rather than hurting someone that I love?"
    
"EXACTLY! You love her. I love you. You hurt me. I hurt you."
    
"Sarah, love isn't a game. It’s not even a choice. You can't help who you fall in love with. You can't help who you love. I didn't know that you were pregnant. I'm sorry. What happened to the baby?"
    
"I kept her. For twenty weeks, I kept her. She started to move around and I could feel everything. I could feel our baby kick me, turn around inside me. I loved her. I loved something I had never even met. She was there, inside me, depending on me. I couldn't live without her. She kept my days going. The days when I was getting over you. She reminded me that she loved me." She starts to cry hard and I have to take her in my arms. I hold her tight against me, as her tears are powerful, her body writhing in emotional pain. When she relaxes, I pull her away.
    
"What happened to the baby, Sarah?"
    
"She died. I miscarried." She says, deadpanned. Her eyes lose all life as she falls to the floor. This is my fault. I left her and she needed me. I left this girl; she's become a broken mess because of me.
Because of us
.
She looks over at Ella, who is leaning against the limo, her eyes fixed on the ground.
I can’t let this pain happen to her too.
    
"I'm so sorry, Ella." Sarah says and Ella snaps up to look at her. She relaxes slightly and nods her head.
    
"I understand." She says flat and climbs into the limo. I watch her bare feet covered in mud follow her into the limo and I just want to clean them for her. She slams the door and I know she's crying behind it. I know she's hurting because of this.
My poor Ellie.
I can't hurt her anymore.