Never Say Goodbye (18 page)

His warm arms are holding me softly.
His gentle breath teasing my neck.
The sunbeams are dancing across my bedroom floor in floating lines. I smile and stroke the arm that is holding my waist. It's amazing to think, that five weeks ago, I was lost in a world of torment that I no longer wanted. That torment may have been my thoughts, but I was saved. He saved me, I can't explain how but he did. I hold out my hand and look at the scar that is acquiring to my palm. That memory will always be there. Just as every single scar will make me remember.
    
I hold out my arm and gently run my finger down the soft bumps.

That was a knife, that one was a razor. That one was a plastic knife. This one was a piece of glass.

The memories will always be there, lodged into my brain.
    
The beauty of this man asleep beside me overwhelms me.
His face, his features a work of art. His soft breathing is like a hummingbird, so soft, yet beautiful. He makes me feel at peace. An emotion I have never felt, not properly, for over six years of my life. He has suffered a loss like me but not suffered the depression that I had suffered. I hold his hand, because there is no other hand I would rather hold. He stirs and I feel his arm tighten against me.
    
"Morning, beautiful." He whispers against my hair.
    
"Hi." I wiggle under his kisses against my neck. He moves the hair away and kisses me again. "St-t-t-o-p-p." I giggle.
    
"When you make that noise, baby, never." He grins against my neck and blows raspberries. I laugh uncontrollably as he starts to tickle my body. I end up underneath him, his hands pinning mine to the bed.
    
"Hey!" I protest and twist my head when he tries to kiss my face.
    
"Baby, you wound me. I have an idea." He grins and I just swoon under his gaze.
    
"You do, do you?"
    
"Yep." He smiles and kisses my forehead.
    
"What's that then?"
    
"Me, you, the beach?" He kisses my mouth softly and pulls my bottom lip with his teeth.
    
"You always taste amazing, Ella." I blush ferociously at his words. "So, me, you, beach?"
    
"It's like a two hour drive, Luke."
    
"Yeah? And? It's you and me only today. I won't let anyone ruin this day for me. No cell phones." He smiles at me and lets my arms go. I decide to tickle him back and he starts wiggling under my fingers.
    
"Oh! So now who's ticklish?"
    
"You never…aske-d-d, baby, STOP!" He starts to laugh and I climb on top of him and straddle his hips. I let my hair fall around us like a veil and kiss him softly. He pulls me down to him and kisses me with passion like he could never stop, like I'm all he ever needs.
 

    
"Morning, kids!" My dad shouts as we enter the kitchen, Luke's arm around my waist. I walk over to my dad as Luke releases me and I kiss his cheek.
    
"Morning." I reply and smile at my family enjoying their breakfast.
    
"Luke, what have you done with Ella?" My mom asks and I gently slap her arm.
    
"Hey! I'm still me."
    
"Yeah…. okay." Holly intervenes. "You're, well, happy. I missed
you
." I hug my sister from behind. This beautiful girl, happy that I'm happy.
    
"I am happy." I exclaim. "So are you going to feed us? We're going to the beach together today." I beam at my family and they all look up at Luke.
    
"Um…yeah, I'm taking Ella to Carolina Beach, thought we could use a day together, just…us." He
shrugs and my dad pulls a seat out beside him. I smile and sit down. Luke sits on the seat opposite me, next to my mom, and smiles at me.
    
"Well, dig in guys, there’s bacon, eggs, and pancakes." My mom beams.
    
"You're amazing." Luke says to my mom. I honestly think she blushes.
Mom!
I scowl at her gently and she gives me a soft smile.

******

"What is that?" Luke whispers when I open the front door to him. He's been home to get changed and showered, his hair is damp and in gentle spikes on his head. He's dressed in a tight tank top that defines his broad chest with his speed bump abs and green cargo shorts. I look him up and down and lick my lips. He winks at me and smiles gently.
I grin and tilt my head to the side, tossing the water balloon in my hand.
    
"It's a water balloon, baby…wanna play?"
    
"Oh no you don't, Ella..." He backs off and I instinctively walk forward.
    
"I just got dressed."
    
"I'll buy you new clothes."
    
"No, baby…please-" he laughs nervously.
    
"Wimp…" I breathe and he runs to the other side of his car.
    
"This isn't fair, Ellie! I don't have my own weapon, I call a truce!"
    
"Truce? That could work." I lift the t-shirt over my head to reveal my pink bikini. He stops ducking and slowly raises himself to a standing position.
    
"Like what you see?" I ask, twisting my hair in my fingers.
    
"Oh, hell yeah." He whispers.
    
"What do you see?" I ask against a grin.
    
"I see the most beautiful, intellectual perfection, my Ellie, in all her stunning beauty." He smiles his beautiful grin and strides towards me. He grabs me around my waist and pulls me close, his lips barely reaching mine.
"You are beautiful, Ella, so, so, beautiful." He lifts me so I have to wrap my legs around his waist. He sweeps my mouth with his tongue and I let his play amongst mine. My free hand is pulling at his hair and he walks backwards, drops me on the hood of his car, still kissing me deeply. I start to laugh beneath the kiss, the water balloon still in my left hand. I pull away gently.
    
"You shouldn't trust me!"
    
"Ellie, no!" I burst the balloon over his head and he scowls. I shudder at his expression, but it soon changes to a grin and I scramble off the hood and onto my parent’s front lawn. I back up gently.
    
"Oh, baby, you're going to get it now!" He starts to chase me around the front lawn, my giggles and screeches being made known to the neighbors. He grabs me and I slip to the ground.
    
"Ouch, that hurt." I pout. He lays over me, his leg between my thighs, and strokes my hair down my cheek gently.
    
"You really shouldn't wear such a small amount of clothing, Ella, it's dangerous."
    
"Oh yeah? To me or to you?" I ask, stroking his wet hair away from his forehead. You know when you lock eyes with a complete stranger, you look away immediately, and you feel nothing? Nothing is sparked, there is no knowledge, but sometimes you wonder about that person’s life. Who are they? Who have they created? What did they discover? With Luke right now, in this moment, his eyes connecting with mine, I see his soul, I feel an electricity pass through us both and neither of us can look away. We drown in each other’s existence. I now understand why we love each other, to understand and cherish one another. He cuts off my reverie with a kiss.
    
"Definitely you, baby." He winks at me and tickles my sides again, this is his weapon. I giggle and squeal and he shakes his wet hair all over my body.
    
"That's cold!" I shout and he sighs at me. I know what's going through his head, to be without me for so long, to not have these moments for months on end. He stands to his feet and holds his hand out. I grab it and he pulls me up. He pulls me close, his hand on my lower back, his other cupping my cheek.
    
"I love you." He says, his eyes searching mine.
    
"God, Luke. I love you too, baby, always." He kisses me softly, giving me a firm slap on my behind, and I yelp.
"Come on girl, me, you, beach… now!"

******

"You took the wrong turn." I moan as I drop the large map into my lap. I push my sunglasses up my nose and he turns to smile at me.
    
"Shhh you. I know where I'm going." He grins at me.
    
"Clearly." I grumble. "Eyes on the road, not on me please." I smile and look back at the map and the passing road signs.
    
"I can't believe I let you drive my car all this way. It's going to be pained later."
    
"No, it won't. Plus, I don't have a convertible. Aren't you driving it to L.A?"
    
"Yeah, but not until I get settled in. My dad's driving him over for me.
    
"It's a he?" He looks at me and then back at the road when I scowl at him.
    
"Yes, of course he's a he. He's my baby." He looks over at me and pouts.
    
"I thought I was your baby." I laugh and shake my head.
    
"You are my second baby. Good enough?"
    
"I suppose." He murmurs.
    
"Oh, turning this up!" I turn the dial on the radio as ‘Mm bop’ fills our ears. I turn to him and sing the lyrics. He joins in with me as we both dance with one another. We are completely at ease with each other. He puts his hand on my knee and gives me a heartwarming smile. I have never felt such hope and love for life as I do right now. He has captured me, I'm the happiest I have ever been. My life is finally serene
.
We pull up into a parking lot and Luke grabs our beach stuff from my trunk. He slings the bag over
his shoulder and pulls me so that his free hand is wrapped around my waist. He kisses my hair gently and leads me towards the beach.

******

I'm sprawled out on my beach towel watching Luke with a rented surfboard, trying his hardest to ride the flowing waves. The sun is shining bright on my face and I'm grateful for the Vitamin D. I let it soak into my skin, heating my blood.
    
I sit up on my elbows and watch Luke. He's riding a wave and his body is just perfect. His tanned body is soft against the blue waves, his muscles all jumped up to attention, each of them working hard to keep him on the board.
Shit, how did I get so lucky?
He waves at me and loses his balance. I giggle to myself and stand up. I walk over to the edge of the water and let the cool liquid cover my feet. I dig my toes into the sand and smile.
    
"Hey there…" Says a voice. I turn to face a tall guy, he looks about my age. His hair is blonde and rugged, his blue eyes too big for his face.
    
"Umm hi?" I say and turn away.
    
"You from around here?" He asks.
    
"Nope, Charlotte. You?"
    
"Yeah, I live here."
    
"That's…awesome." I say, anxious now, I don't want Luke to see and cause a scene.
    
"You're very pretty. I would have definitely noticed you before, if you did live here. Hey, you can look at me you know."
    
"I have a boyfriend." I blurt out.
    
"Oh…that's cool. You're still pretty though. What's your name?"
    
"Nothing to do with you, that's for sure." Luke's voice appears behind us and we both swing around to look at him. I instantly look down at my feet while he looks the guy up and down.
    
"Sorry man, I'm guessing you're the boyfriend?"
    
"Right. Bye." Luke grabs my arm and pulls me away.
    
"What the hell, Ella?" He looks down at me and I struggle to meet his eyes.
    
"He came to me, I didn't do anything, and it was just friendly conversation." I shrug my shoulders and look at some imaginary molecule on the sand.
    
"Hey," He lifts my chin to meet his eyes. "I don't like random guys coming on to you, baby, you are all I need, I can't lose you."
I study his face, looking for some clue. His body throws me off, the water dropping from his hair onto his torso, sinking down his abdomen, through the defined lines of his muscles.
"Don't look at me like that." He whispers.
    
"Why not?" I ask, looking away and then back into his eyes.
    
"Because, I will go book some hotel room, take you there, and then you can fucking look at me like that all you want." I smile softly and he pulls me close.
    
"Where's your surfboard?"
    
"Took it back to the guy at the rental shop. Anyway, enough talking for now I think." He grabs me and flings me over his shoulder.
    
"Luke! Hey!" I squeal as he carries me towards the ocean like a caveman. "Oh hell no, LUKE, put me down!"
    
"Never, baby, you ready?"
    
"Luke." I warn. He's started to wade through the water.
    
"One."
    
"Luke, please." I giggle.
    
"Two." I bang my fists gently against his back.
    
"THREE!" He throws me from his shoulder and into the freezing cold Atlantic Ocean. I fall beneath the salt water, it quickly entering my lungs. I come up quickly coughing and spluttering.
    
"I hate you." I pout and he laughs. He swims towards me and I push the wet hair from my face.
    
"You know something, Ella." He asks, his arms reaching and curling around my waist.
    
"What?" I ask, gently coughing the remainder of seawater from my lungs.
    
"You are the closest thing to heaven, to paradise." He moves a stray lock of wet hair away from my eyes. "You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You have suffered so much loss, despair, and shame. Yet, you let me in, you let me help you, fall in love with you, make love to you. You are the definition of beautiful in so many ways. The way you'll help anyone with anything, the way you'll carry worries upon your shoulders and wear them like armor. You're just…my everything." His lips graze mine and I can't help but let the words he just said sink into me, into my heart, through my pores, memorized into my head, my heart.
    
I let myself explore his kiss, the desperation clinging to my back through his hands. He moves his hands down to cup my ass and lifts me gently in the water.
    
"And, you're the sexiest girl I’ve ever seen." He smiles against my mouth and I kiss him harder. I pull away gently and smile down at him.
    
"You’re sexy too, Lukey." I kiss his forehead and place gentle feather light kisses down his cheek toward his mouth. I kiss his lips softly and he groans against me. He drops me gently into the water and my feet hit the soft sand below.
    
"I've found my best friend. In you, in what you are. You're my world right now, cheesy or not, you are. I've been waiting all my life for you, Luke." He grins at me and splashes me.
    
"Hey!" I protest. I splash him back and he splashes me harder. I duck under the water and sit on the sand. The water raises me back to the surface and I lean my head back as I surface letting my hair fall against my back.
    
"Do that a-fucking-gain I dare you." Luke walks through the water towards me.
    
"Do what" I ask, breathless.
    
"Make it a turn on watching you come out of the water. Fucking hell, I'm hard as fuck."
I laugh at his choice of words and cock my eyebrow. "And in that fucking bikini, Jesus, Ella. I'm sure you want to kill me."
I playfully tilt my head from side to side as if to consider the idea.
    
"You being hard is a turn on." I gasp through my own words.
    
"What did you just say?" I look away, embarrassed.
No, I'm not embarrassed to talk dirty with my
boyfriend.
I gulp and breathe in deeply.
    
"I said, you, being hard, is a turn on." His green gaze becomes intense, his eyes burying into mine
.
    
"You're a tease, Ella." He whispers, inches from my face.
    
"You know you want it." I whisper back.
    
"Yeah I want it, baby. I want to take you back to the hotel room that I have booked for us, take you on the bed, hard and fast, you screaming my name at the top of your lungs, wet and ready for me."
Fuck.
His words have just made a deep pool of heat settle heavy in my groin. He pulls at my bottom lip with his teeth and lets it go gently.
    
"Do you trust me?" He asks. I open my eyes and stare into his, desire and want screaming through us both.
    
"Yes." I whisper, his wet fingers lacing through mine.
    
"Follow me under the water, keep your eyes shut." I nod and watch him duck under the water. I hold my breath and dip under the cool water. I feel him grab my hand and pull me flush against him. Then his lips are on mine, kissing me hard. The contact is strange underwater, but gloriously powerful. I give his tongue entrance and it slides against mine for a few seconds before we both lose breath and have to return to the surface. I gasp for air and he pulls my mouth back to his. It takes me by surprise, he's kissing with such force and lust, it makes every nerve stand to attention. Every blood cell heats with his touch. His fingers weave my wet hair, his mouth persistent and hungry.
    
"Do you feel that, Ella? Do you fucking feel that? Shit." He pulls away, softly wading back slowly through the water. My lips are swelling and tingle from the passion in his kiss.
    
"Yes, I felt it, Luke. Right though me." His eyes are glittering with reflections from the water, his wet hair in strands against his forehead.
    
"We're meant to be, Els. We were meant to bump into each other that day. We were meant to find it, we
had
to find it. I've found it with you."
    
"Found what?" He comes back to me and cups my head in his hands. His eyes study mine, his mouth in a grin.
    
"Love, baby. We've found it, in all its glory. We condemned ourselves to feel it, to wish it, and we found it. We didn't even have to try." His lips softly graze against mine.
    
"Come on, baby, time to go." He lifts me gently; his arms under my rear, and carries me through the sea, toward the shore.