Nan's Journey (22 page)

It was a Scripture
meant for her. I knew it! But…
I knew that I was not to share it with her at that time. I began praying and asking God to show me why He was giving me all these things to say and why He was making this particular passage so alive to me. I read it again and knew that first, it was for me;
and then
it was for others.
Who?
I asked. I didn’t get an answer for days.”

“Is that when you saw Mark Hall?”
Nate asked.

“Yes, I was helping unload one of the boxcars of supplies for the store and I saw Mark. I was surprised to see him. I hadn’t seen him since we were at Seminary together. He was startled when I called him by name. We embraced and swapped stories. He said that God sent him to talk with me. He asked me if I would come down to Campo and preach at his church. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Let
’
s look at your tie. Is it straight?”
Nate fumbled with the string tie.

“It is as good as it
’
s gonna get.”

Fred entered the small kitchen. Nan
was sitting in the cozy room
rocking the baby as Martha was describing the nuances of cooking the perfect angel food cake. Nan had a contented smile tugging at the corner of her lovely mouth. She looked relaxed and happy. Health had come to her and she looked like a young school maid. Today she had chosen to braid her shiny black hair. Each braid was held together with a blue ribbon. Wisps of curls that had escaped the braids framed the pretty face. “Love, are you going to be alright while I go down to Campo? Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”

A small shadow crossed Nan’s brow briefly as she contemplated going to the town from which she and Elmer had escaped so long ago. “No, dear one, I will stay here and keep your Ma company.” The truth be told, Nan was still struggling with going back to the old hometown with all of the memories attached to it. She was unsure of what she would say or do for that matter if she ran on to Mr. or Mrs. Dewey. She knew that as a married woman, they had no hold on her. She was not sure about Elmer. She was not willing to risk letting
him
fall into their hands.

Fred crossed the room and planted a small kiss on baby Teddy’s forehead. Nan smelled the fresh scent of shaving soap as Fred hovered close to the babe. He turned his merry, lightening blue eyes onto his pretty wife and exchanged a bright smile. Did she know that his heart was bursting with joy? The kiss she placed on his cheek answered him in the affirmative. “Come home as soon as you can, Fred
,
”
s
he said.

“I will. When I return we can start moving into the cottage down the lane if you are up to it.”
He grinned.

“Your m
a and I have been cleaning and preparing the house for days. We will be ready when you get home.”

Fred grabbed his mother and gave her a bear hug. “Pray, little woman, pray. I am counting on you to hold me up to the Lord for His help while I preach.”

“Your Pa and I will be in constant prayer for you while you are gone.”

“Nan, I need your prayers too.”

“I will do my best
,
”
s
he said.

“So long, I will be back soon.”

*****

Fred climbed onto the train as it was leaving the station. He had to run the half
mile from his folk’s house. He allowed that he spent a little too long in his goodbyes. He felt a grin creep upon his face. He was a happy man. With that thought he reached into his bag and retrieved his worn Bible and began to read. After reading, dozing and taking his lunch, Fred began to observe the beauty of the scenery passing by his window.

The sun was stealing over the mountains and site seeing was almost over for the day. The sky was spread with a golden glow. Darkness fell quickly. The stars emerged one by one like reluctant parishioners entering a church. The light cloud cover kept most of the heavenly bodies hidden from view. Thoughts began to step into Fred’s mind slowly and surely.
“Am I ready to preach again? Will I experience God’s Presence as I did in bygone days? Is He still with me?”

The thoughts marched through his head to the rhythm of the wheels of the train. Eventually Fred was sound asleep.

The conductor passed through the almost vacant car and spoke to the lone passenger. “Next stop, Campo.”

Fred opened his eyes and nodded to the older gentleman. “Thank you, sir.”

“Get ready for a quick exit. Campo is only a whistle stop. Good day, young man.”

“God be with you.”

Cha
pter
23

Reverend
Mark Hall stepped up to the pulpit and surveyed the crowd gathered for the special meeting. There was the usual group of
Pharisees
, he thought of the self-righteous group. There were the sweet-faced couples
who
came to truly worship God. There were people who were totally away from God who came for the social standing that church attendance secured in the community
,
and there were the people who were seeking something that could bring them peace.

Quietly Mary Dewey entered the sanctuary with her new baby. Mark smiled and was glad that she had come. There had been times in prayer that the Lord had put her troubled face before him. When he first met her, he hadn’t noticed the unsettled spirit in her, but since praying specifically for her he had seen a tortured soul behind those eyes.

She held her own with the women of the church
,
but he knew that she was forcing herself to be someone unfamiliar to herself. The door opened once more and an elderly woman who had recently lost her dear husband came in to join the number. He smiled warmly at his new congregation. They had accepted his appointment to the church in stride. He had so recently come to them that they had yet to complete their opinion of him and his family. They knew only a portion of the fire of God that burned in his bones.

“Friends, I want to begin the service in a different way. I want to give Brother Fred Young as much time as possible to minister to you. I would like to begin with a song that an acquaintance of mine, R.E. Hudson, wrote. I would like for you to listen to the words and apply them to your own life as I sing them to you.

*****

“Alas and did my Savior bleed, And did my Sov’reign die,

Would He devote that sacred head for such a worm as I?

At the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light,

And the burden of my heart rolled away

It was there by faith I received my sight,

A
nd now I am happy all the day.”
*****

Mary listened intently. She hadn’t personalized the stories from the Bible to herself. She was a “worm”!

*****

“Was it for crimes that I have done, He groaned upon the tree?

Amazing pity, grace un
known, and love beyond degree!”

*****

Yes, I am guilty of crimes to those children in my charge!
Tears threatened
. Could Jesus have pity and love for me? How can I earn this forgiveness?
Her mind was churning. There would be no way of making up for the things that she had done.

*****

“But drops of grief can ne’er repay the debt of love I owe
.”

*****

The melody slipped away as Rev
erend
Hall finished the song. Mary managed to keep her composure. She decided that she was going to be thinking about the words of that song for a spell. She needed
to know if they applied to her.

Fred Young took determined steps up to the pulpit. He held out his hand to his friend for a hearty handshake. He felt as if he were a drowning man given a lifeline. He lingered with the handshake as Marcus said, “This man of God is
Reverend
Fred Young. You will learn to know him as a man with a message straight from God to you. Listen to the words he says with your heart and your mind. There is plenty of food in them for both.” With that introduction to the church folk, he left Fred and sat with the congregation.

Fred smiled and bowed his head in a prayer to his Father, his Friend. “Dear Lord, let me speak only the words You intend and let them hit their mark.” He opened his eyes and expected that he would analyze the crowd, but he felt urgent to speak. “
Open your Bibles to Luke 4:18.
”

*****

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord. And He closed the book, and He gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on Him. And began to say unto them,
“
This day is this Scripture fulfilled in your ears.
”

*****

“I want you to know that Jesus came to this earth to save us from our sin, but also to help us live our lives every day in a way that would bring glory to God. For some folks this appears to be easier than others, but let me tell you that there is not one person who does not struggle. Has there been one person
who
has lived who has not had sorrow or a broken heart? I believe that there has not been one person who has not caused sorrow or brokenness in someone else too.”

Mary suppressed a gasp.

“Look at what Jesus says here: The gospel is for the poor and the rich. He leaves no one out. He wants to heal the brokenhearted.  That means that He can take the pain away. You can live without regret and hatred. He came to preach deliverance to the captives. You may be thinking, ‘That’s not for me. I’m not in jail.’ But I am saying to you that many people live in a prison of their own making. They live in the prison of regret, hatred, and unforgiveness.

Many things become prisons to us. He came to recover sight to the blind. I know that Jesus healed blind people and He still does, but there is
also
a blindness in the soul that Jesus can restore sight to. Are you blind to the love God had for us
and
that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us? We become blind to the needs of others.

We become blind even to our need for a Savior. There has never been a person good enough to come to God without
Jesus. Never. Like the song Reverend
Hall sang says, ‘drops of grief can never repay the debt of love I owe. Dear Lord
,
I give myself away ‘tis all that I can do.’ Give yourself to Jesus. That is all that you can do.

There is no way to make up for the unrighteous things, the sins, in your life. The only way to have peace and salvation is through giving yourself away to Jesus. He will set at liberty them that are bruised. To be bruised is like being completely crushed and shattered in life, broken. Do you feel broken? You can be set free.”

Tears ran down Mary’s chin. She was tired to pretending to be someone else. This man seemed to look at the ugliness in her very being and not be alarmed at it. There was a remedy to the way she felt. What was she supposed to do now? She didn’t know how to
“
come to Jesus.
”

Fred urged the group, “If you want Jesus, come to the altar now. Do not wait. Come now.”

Before she could think of what the women of the church would say, Mary came to the front w
ith baby Sammy in her arms. Reverend
Hall’s wife put her arm around her and said, “Let me hold the little one for you, Dear.”

Mary knelt at the altar and cried like she had never allowed herself to cry before. A number of others joined her in needs of their own. Brother Marcus knelt beside her and spoke softly in her ear, “Talk to Jesus as a dear friend. Tell Him all of your sins. If you don’t remember them all, He does. Then ask Him to cleanse you and forgive you of all of them. They will be taken away. I will be back in a bit so that you can do this. I must pray with Widow Grace now.”

Mary confessed terrible things that she had done in her life. She confessed every hateful thought and deed. She confessed every disappointment and hurt
—t
hings that were monumental and things that were trivial. She asked Jesus to remind her of everything that she might have done that was not right and good. She even confessed for pretending to be different than she was. When she came to the end of all the things she could think of, Bro
ther
Marcus was next to her. “Mary, you have repented of your sin. You have done a good thing here, but now you must believe that you are forgiven of all those sins.”