Nan's Journey (19 page)

“No, Elmer, I got something special for her. While I was in the Indian camp I asked the squaw that I traded goods with for her advice as to how to move a very sick person down the pass and keep them warm. I explained that a travois would be far too rough and bumpy down the trail. She agreed and showed me how to wrap and bundle Nan up in blankets and a buffalo robe somewhat like the cradleboard. Nan will have to ride in front of me on the horse while I hold her like an infant. You will have to let me strap little Teddy on your back. You must listen for his cries and care for him.
”

Elmer’s eyes were very serious as Fred explained the traveling arrangements. The pack mule would follow Fred’s horse and Elmer would be in front of Fred on the other mule so that Fred could keep his eye on Elmer and baby Teddy. If Nan would have been getting stronger, the trip could have waited a couple of months, but she seemed to be withering before his eyes. He knew he could not chance the loss.

*****

Bright and early the next morning Fred packed the items on the Ruby. He got Sonny ready. No saddle, just saddle blankets. He saddled Moon Shadow for Elmer. The bedrolls were in place and grub for the trip in the saddlebags. He spread the little furs on the bed and then the soft blankets on top. He placed Teddy in the middle and tightly wrapped them around him swaddling him with arms wrapped tightly to his side. He placed the infant thus wrapped, in the cradleboard and began tying the laces snuggly. He placed the soft deerskin over the head frame and made a cozy little tent over the little face. Elmer stood beside the bed and allowed Fred to place the small burden on his back.

Fred threw the big buffalo hide on the bed and placed deerskin and quilts on top. He lifted Nan from the rocker
.
S
he had been dressed in a long deer skin dress and moccasins like Elmer’s. He placed her in the middle of the covers. He began to wrap the quilt, deerskin and buffalo hide tightly around her from head to toe. He then took strips of deer hide and tied them around her snuggly. Nan meekly lay there feeling the warmth of the nest he made for her. How lovingly he smoothed the covers. He was as tender in his care of her as he had been with baby Teddy. He wrapped a heavy scarf over her head and left her a peephole so that she could see. He placed Elmer and his little bundle on Moon Shadow and came into the cabin to get Nan. He carried her to Sonny and sat her sideways on top of him. Fred then climbed on him and put his arms around Nan and held the reins. Ruby trailed behind them with packs on her back. “Nan, I am going to move you closer to me so that you can lean back and I will hold you in my arms. We will move slowly so that you will not be jolted. Try to rest as much as you can. Sleep if at all possible. Let me know when you need to stop to rest.”

Nan nodded and nestled in his arms. She had no fear when Fred was this close to her. His strong arms seemed to hold her effortlessly and she did sleep. When she woke the sun was high in the clear blue sky. She saw the tops of the lovely spruce trees and the white bark tops of the aspen. She turned her head ever so slightly and saw the handsome
,
sun
-
darkened face of her husband. She observed the lines around his eyes as he squinted in the bright daylight. As he glanced down at her, she was struck, yet again, at the bright color of blue that twinkled in his large eyes. He smiled at her and gave her a wink. “You doing alright
,
little Misses?”

“I feel like a baby being rocked in my mama’s arms.”

“Good. It shouldn’t take but
a couple of days
to get down to town. We will stop in a bit to eat some of the cold biscuits and bacon I packed. You can stretch your legs if you want
,
or lay down flat. We won’t take a long break but we will make camp about an hour before dark. Of course, Teddy will let us know when he is in need of nursing.”

In another hour they stopped for dinner. Fred placed blankets on a grassy spot that the snow had melted from. He unwrapped Nan and brought Teddy to her. She laughed as she removed the deerskin tent from the cradleboard. Teddy was sucking his bottom lip in hunger. When he saw his mother he began to whimper. “Come
,
little one. Mama has your dinner ready for you.”

Fred took little Teddy out of the cradleboard and placed him in Nan’s arms. He ate hungrily and fell fast asleep. Fred rearranged the covers and laced him back into his little cocoon.

“He looks very content doesn’t he?”

“So, Nan, are you content? How are you really doing?”

“If you are asking about my seeing the trapper, I have decided that maybe it was a horrible dream or something while I was in labor. I don’t really know how to explain something that seemed so real to me.”

“You will feel better as soon as we can get your strength back. Ma will see to that!”

“Yep, your Mama is a nurturer that’s for sure.”

“Elmer, you doing ok
ay
? How’s the coat working?”

“Warm as toast!”

“Was Teddy too heavy for you?”

“He don’t weigh nothing.”

“Well then, let
’
s get moving.”

The air grew warmer the
farther
down the pass they traveled. Nan could hear the streams crashing down the mountainside. They sounded alive. Birds sang in the sunshine and she could hear the sound of the hooves on rocks and dirt. She asked Fred, “Is the snow all gone where we are now?”

“Let me set you up a little straighter so that you can see more.”

He shifted her into an
upright position and she could see the lay of the land. Down the pass most of the snow was melted. There were very few patches left here and there. Wild flowers were springing forth in a riot of color across the big meadow. She could see that they were almost down the mountain. It would grow dark soon
,
so they had to make camp. They would be in town within a week if they got an early start. If she knew anything about Fred, it was that they always got an early start. That thought brought a smile to her lips. Fred looked down at her and saw the smile
,
and prayed that he would be able to make her smile like that all the time.

Fred and Elmer set up camp together. Nan held little Teddy in the cradleboard until the spot where she would sleep was made ready. She was given orders to lean against the pile of saddle blankets until her bed ready. She was not allowed to stand with the baby or even walk by herself. She did not resist the orders because she really was too tired to fight them. Fred lifted her and the baby into his arms and carried her to a bed made of the buffalo hide that had been wrapped around her all day
, as well as
the deer skins and quilts. He added another buffalo hide to cover her with. Fred explained that he and Elmer would be sharing the bed with her and the baby eventually. Their body heat would keep all of them warm. Elmer unlaced baby Teddy from his trappings and
laid
him next to Nan. Elmer gave both of them a quick kiss on the forehead and ran to find firewood. Presently he returned with his arms full of dead branches.

“Great job, Pard. Tear the small twigs off, then the larger ones and then break the biggest ones across your knee like this.” Fred demonstrated.

Fred drug a large dead log to the camp and began chopping it with his axe. He split it and split it again. Before long Elmer and Fred had a nice fire going
and
Nan watched from the vantage point of her warm bed. Teddy was sleeping soundly after nursing. Nan snuggled closer to the little one. He was so soft and smelled so sweet. She couldn’t
breathe
in enough of him. The little lips smacked and made sucking noises. His soft dark lashes swept across the rosy cheeks. He was growing and filling out. She watched his little chest rise and fall in deep sleep. She was so glad she had him. She was glad he hadn’t been stolen as she had at first thought. It had been so real… but it wasn’t real. Her baby was here next to her sleeping like an angel.

After an early start the four travelers arrived at Ma and Pa’s home in
the early afternoon of the eighth
day. It had taken a little longer than Fred had estimated due to the baby needing nourishment every few hours. It had been a long time since he had to factor in the needs of an infant, but Fred didn’t mind.

*****

“Bless my soul, its Fred and Nan … and Elmer too of course!”

“And baby Teddy!” Elmer added.

“Baby Teddy! You mean that you have already had that child!”

Elmer turned around so that Grandma could see the infant in the cradleboard. “Dear me, he is so tiny! Honey, he is too small! Is he ok
ay
?”

“As far as we can tell he is fine, Ma
,
” Fred said.

“Get him out of that contraption so that I can hold my grandson! And, Nan, where is Nan?”

“Right here!” Nan cried.

“Lands sakes, girl, you looked like a sack of feed or something!”

Nan laughed and said, “I kinda feel like a sack of feed or something!”

Pa came running out of the house and observed Nan in her confining position. “You want me to set you free, sweetie?”

“Please do!”

“Nan, just stand there and don’t try to walk. I will carry you.” Fred said.

“Why, what’s wrong that she can’t walk herself?” Pa asked.

“She is too weak to go more that a step without falling.”

“I’m sorry I’m such a baby!”

“Nonsense, lets just get all of you inside.”

Fred lifted Nan and carried her inside followed by his Ma and Pa with Elmer and Teddy.

“She will need to take to the bed right now, if you don’t mind, Ma.”

“Bring her to your old room, son.” Martha quickly turned down the covers with one hand and she held little Teddy with the other. Fred laid her gently on the bed and told her to rest while he got her things unloaded. He would help her into a clean nightgown as soon as he brought everything in. She nodded and found that the soft feather bed was lulling her to sleep against her efforts to stay awake.

As Fred exited the room he found his father in the kitchen. “Pa, can you please get the doc for me to look at Nan and Teddy? I think Teddy is all right, although he is terribly small, but Nan isn’t getting her strength back at all.”

The kindly doctor listened attentively to Fred as he described the day of Teddy’s birth.

“Now, I have a suspicion that there is more to the story than what you have told me, Fred.”

“Doc, she has been confused and frightened every since that day.”

“In what way?”

“She …ah… thought that someone came into the cabin and stole the baby.”

“Who would do that? Where would an idea like that come from?”

“She had seen some trappers that she was afraid of. They are very rough living men, you know, so…”

“She thought one of them came to the cabin?”

“Actually, she thought that one of them stole her baby to be exact. I had to reassure her that baby Teddy was there and had not been stolen.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would a trapper want a baby? You let her hold little Teddy and see him right away?”

“Yes. I think that she finally has realized that she has had a very terrible dream. She has finally begun to eat a little more.”

“She is very thin, Fred. We will have to watch her very carefully. Let me examine her more closely and you stay here.”

Nan opened her tired eyes as the doctor came into the room.

“May I examine you to be certain that you are healing properly from the birth of that little boy of yours?”

“Yes
,
doctor.”

Dr. Benson was amazed at exactly how thin Nan had become. He had not realized how bony she was until he pressed on her stomach.

“Little Mama, you are going to have to eat! Teddy needs his mother to be strong and healthy. I want you to drink plenty of milk and force yourself to eat a plate of food each meal time.”

“I will try.”

The doctor lowered his voice, “Nan, why are you so fearful? Tell me what is so heavy on your mind.”

Nan began sobbing great and terrible moaning sobs.

“What is it? Talk to me girl. I promise I won’t tell anyone anything if you don’t want me to.”

“Oh
,
doctor, I don’t know where to begin!”

“Start at the first time you began to feel fear and we will go from there.”

Nan began by telling about escaping from her stepmother with Elmer. She told about the kidnap and rape by the trappers and ended with her fear that one of them had come into the cabin and stolen her baby.

Dr. Benson sat there listening to the frail girl tell her story. There was a lot of suffering for one so young to digest. “Nan, have you told anyone about any of this?”

“Fred knows everything…
and Elmer.”

“The baby was fathered by one of the trappers then…”