My Stupid Girl (42 page)

“So, let me ask you: How come you’re so
pretty and no one knew?”

“What the heck are you talking about?” She
sounded offended. I just laughed.

“At Prom, you looked so--” I cut the
sentence off when I saw her scandalized face.

“You mean when you noticed I had boobs?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m a female, you know!”

“I noticed. At Prom.” I pinched her arm and
she stuck her tongue out at me.

“I missed you,” I said, feeling suddenly
guilty, realizing that I was the reason we hadn’t spent any time together in
the last year and a half.

“Well, with Miss Perfect occupying you,
there wasn’t much time to hang out.” Her voice was bitter, and I couldn’t blame
her for it.

“I know, I’m sorry. But you know, my phone
works both ways.” 

“Don’t say stuff just because you feel
guilty. Like it would have gone well if I had just been blowing up your phone
with calls or texts when you were with your girlfriend. Gi’me a break.” Again,
she was right. The guilt was getting too ridiculous, though.

“Please, my old friend, can you ever
forgive me? It’ll never happen again.” I kept the tone playful, but didn’t ham
it up too much. I wanted her to know I meant it.

“Okay, I’m done. You’re forgiven. Now reach
in the back and get that grocery bag.” She pointed her thumb like she was
hitchhiking at the back of the car. I turned around and saw a paper bag filled
to the rim with toilet paper, eggs, and shaving cream.

“Oh no, Mich, we are not going to egg
someone.” I shook my head fiercely.

“What? When did you lose your nerve? Maybe
on your last trip to the mall?” My getup got yet another look of disgust from
Michelle.

“Ah, no. It was when I turned eighteen and
was able to get a record. Come on, girl, we are too old for this.” This was not
what I’d had in mind when I’d agreed to ride along.

“I disagree, we’re still in high school.” 

“Barely, we’re graduating in less than two
weeks. I, for one, would LOVE to walk.”

“We are high schoolers, David, for only a
few weeks as you so smartly pointed out. Now, are you going to have fun with 
me, or am I going to have to force you?” An evil gleam shone from her eyes. Her
combat boot was up on the dashboard, showing her knobby knees and tiny leg. I
shook my head into submission, realizing it had been a long time since I had gotten
into trouble with Michelle. Maybe it would be good for me. At least I could
afford to make bail if worse came to worst.

“Fine, who are we torturing tonight?” I
felt a surge of excitement as I said the words. When was the last time I’d
acted like a kid? It had probably been four or five years ago, the last time
Michelle and I were hanging out on a regular basis.

“Oh, you’ll see.” Her grin told me she was
being bad and loving it. Michelle was an amazing girl, totally hard on the
outside and a little crazy but I always enjoyed being around her. She moved her
arms quickly and was never gentle with anything. She was just tough in a way
that didn’t have anything to do with size. For as much as she took care of her
appearance, she was comfortable and confident in her own skin. I thought about
the way Lucy held her arms, always loosely, or twirling a lock of light brown
strands.

Michelle drove into a neighborhood I had
never been into. It was ridiculous. Street after street of giant Victorian
houses rolled by.

“Who do we know that lives here?” I asked,
but she didn’t answer. “Hello?” I looked over and saw her smile wide with
anticipation.

“Hush, it’s a surprise; I planned this just
for you.” She tried to speak sweetly, but just sounded like she was a mouse trying
to escape from a trap. We turned onto a street and parked in front of a big
white house with blue trimming. Beautiful trees with pink flowers stood in
large, fluffy clumps in the front yard. 

“I don’t know who this is?” I shut the door
behind me, purposefully leaving the grocery bag in the car.

“Please, this isn’t the house, we are
walking two blocks down. You know better than that!” She gave me an incredulous
look, took the big brown bag out and handed it to me. “Hold this, geeze. Aren’t
you like a gentlemen now or something?” Her eyes rolled in disgust as she put
the grocery bag in my hands and led me up the street, walking through snappy
fall air. Her arm snaked into the crook of my elbow and we walked side by
side. 

“So, you met your parents this weekend?”
She tried to hide her interest.

“I did; it was strange. I really like my
dad, Anthony. It’s crazy how young he is.”

“What’s he like?” She held her body closer
to mine and I felt a shock of sparks run through me. I looked down at her, half
expecting to see blue eyes looking up at me. Golden brown eyes, surrounded by
dark makeup, looked up at me. They weren’t the eyes I’d been expecting, but
they gave me the same kind of comfort the blue ones had. They looked at me the
same way, like what I had to say mattered.

“Umm.” I stammered, trying to get my
thoughts back on track with the conversation topic. “He’s really nice, like,
thoughtful. He does whatever he can for everyone around him.”

“Sounds like you.” She said this stupid
thing like it was obvious.

“Hardly, he is much nicer than I ever have
been.”

“Oh hush, you’re one of the nicest people I
know. You try to act all tough and like you don’t like people but you always
were a pansy.” She sneered at me in the dark but squeezed my arm to reassure me
that she was teasing. 

“Wow, thanks. I think.” Michelle had never
held on to me like this before and we had been friends for a long time. She’d
also never said anything that nice directly to me. Michelle didn’t feel soft
and warm like Lucy had with her big chest and curvy hips. The girl next to me
was much bonier and her leather jacket made it feel like she had a hard layer
of impenetrable dragon skin. What was a shock, though, was realizing that
hardness was kind of a relief. I didn’t have to worry about offending Michelle,
or doing the wrong thing. We had been friends for so long, we just kind of knew
how to act around each other. It wasn’t an effort. 

“Ok, my surprise is just up here.” She
pointed to a street sign that said Peseta and steered my body down a long
street that seemed gaudier than the last. After walking halfway down the street
we stopped in front of a mustard-yellow Victorian with a brown roof and a
bright red double-wide door. This yard, like every other one, was immense and
perfectly landscaped. I still had no clue who lived here, though. 

“I give up, whose house is this?”

“I’ll give you a hint. It’s a girl. She is
tall and I guess she is pretty, whatever, and she is mean.” Michelle was
hopping up and down with excitement.  

“That describes a number of girls.” I was
silently wishing it wasn’t who I thought.

“It’s Rachel’s house, dummy. Grab an egg.”
I put the bag down, harder than I needed to, and rounded on Michelle. 

“What are you doing, bringing me here?” My
tone didn’t faze her at all.

“You’re telling me you don’t want to egg
that girl’s car?” 

“No.”

“Liar.” Crap. I kind of was lying. I didn’t
really want to get into trouble, but I really did want to release some of the
never-ending frustration I felt when I thought about Rachel.

“I am not, what’s the point of me doing
that?” As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Johnny was the one who usually
gave up when I asked him for logic. Michelle, the tiny mean genius, waited for
it. I was going to lose.

“Well, David, let’s think hard about that
one.” She put her fist up in the air then popped one finger up, like she was
going to make a list. I groaned in protest, not wanting to be reminded.

“She is mean and I hate her.” A second
finger popped up.

“She tricked you into kissing her.” She
held up her third finger. 

“She then made Lucy believe that you kissed
Rachel against her will, forcing yourself on her, so to speak.” Finger number
four shot up. 

“I really hate her.” She then held up her
fifth finger. 

“She is still mean to Lucy and continues to
give her a hard time.” My head snapped up and I glared at Michelle as she waved
her open hand at me, all five fingers wiggling.

“What do you mean?” I growled.

“Jennika told me,” she said, arms crossed.

“Why is she still being mean to her?” I
felt my hands go into fists, my temper rising. Michelle’s eyes then switched
from gleeful to blank. She had switched something off. The iron curtain had descended.

“No reason.” She stared at me blankly.
“Just the normal.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me,”
I accused.

“Rachel being mean is normal. That’s all,
David.” She wasn’t going to give and it made me angry. I closed my eyes and
breathed deeply, calming down before I spoke again.

“Is Lucy okay, Michelle?” I took deep
breaths as I waited for her answer.

“Yeah, she’s okay, David.” She looked me
straight in the eye and plopped an egg in my hand. “Now throw the dang egg.” 

I paused.

“Throw it, pretty boy.”

“I really don’t wa--”

“Throw the egg.”

“But--”

“Throw the egg.”

“I jus—“

‘Throw the flipping egg.”

“Mitch--”

“Throw the egg, David.”

“NO!”

“THROW IT!” 

“Ahh!” I yelled into Michelle’s face as I
dropped the egg onto the hood of the custom pink BMW. Then I looked. The egg
still looked like a whole egg on top, but some clear egg white oozed out under
where the egg had met the hood. Michelle looked up at me and rolled her eyes
then lifted her leg up and smashed the boot gently with her heel. The sole left
a black scuff mark on the paint and, despite myself, I laughed. It looked like
a poop stain.

“That’s the spirit!” She handed me another
egg. This one I threw up in the air and watched it fall on the roof, where it
exploded. I grabbed another, tossing it at the window.

“Hola!” Michelle yelled, grabbed her own
egg, and threw it against the car, egg and shell spitting back at us. It took a
few minutes, but we used every single egg in the three cartons she’d bought
trying to cover every part of the ridiculously expensive car.

“Looks good.” Michelle said as she lifted
out two jumbo cans of men’s shaving cream.

“Michelle! That stuff peels paint off. I
don’t think--” She put her hand up to hush me. 

“Are we going to do this argument all over
again, or are you just going to realize you want to do this?”

I laughed and shook my head. I was having
fun being out here, doing something stupid, reckless, and irresponsible. I took
the can from her and shook it. She mimicked me, then we both took off the caps
in unison. Michelle started writing profanities on the trunk of the pink car
while I concentrated on covering all the windows. Michelle kept looking over at
me out of the corner of her eyes. The only reason I noticed was because I was
doing the same thing. What was going on with me?

I had never been attracted to Michelle
before. For some reason I was aware of every move she made tonight. Maybe it
was seeing her at prom and realizing that there was a pretty girl under there,
one who could do more than just tough-girl. It could have been the fact that
she went out of her way to do something that she knew would make me laugh
tonight. I knew that she hadn’t done this kind of thing in a long time, either.
Although she did enjoy shenanigans, I knew tonight had been carefully planned
to make me let go, loosen up, and just enjoy myself.

I was having fun, solid, teenagery fun. How
long it had been since I had felt this type of simple pleasure? Lately I’d been
really happy, making peace with my father, and meeting my birth parents, and
realizing that I had a whole new life ahead of me. But this was different.
Something that wasn’t “grown up” was exactly what I needed. I’d been forced to
be a grown up for most of my life. Then I realized that it was often Michelle
that had hustled me back into normal-kid mode when I got too mature. I met her
eyes and smiled, she stuck her tongue at me and shot her shaving cream in my
direction. It only went a foot out in front of her but she laughed her evil
laugh anyway. 

“I’m out.” I shook my can, hearing the
rattle that meant it was empty.

“Me too, but don’t fret, we still have
these.” She reached in the bag a third time and pulled out a few rolls of toilet
paper. 

“Are we doing the trees? The house, car?”
At this point I wasn’t even bothering to protest. This was fun. Plus, Rachel’s
family was dead asleep in their glamorous house. 

“Sticking to the car seems best. Let’s just
gift wrap this little surprise we have for her.” She rolled out a long piece of
white toilet paper, sticking it to the egg-and-shaving-cream mixture that
already coated the car. When we were done, not an inch of pink could be seen
under our handiwork. We had done this before but to Isaiah or Johnny. I had
even gotten it a few times, and I knew that it was hard to get off. I found
myself wishing I could be there when Rachel saw it. We stepped back and admired
our creation.

“You’re sure this is Rachel’s car, right?”
I elbowed her and laughed at the thought of some random person walking out in
horror as Rachel drove away in a clean black truck. 

“Very sure. For one, you can’t miss this
thing.” Michelle threw her arms out, willing me to remember the hot pink that
was buried somewhere under layers of white. “Plus, I followed her home once.”
She looked up at me and gave me another evil eyebrow raise. I smiled at that
and, in response, her face got softer. Thick makeup and purple hair suddenly
seemed insanely attractive. But her eyes squinted back and her thin lips became
even thinner as she punched my arm and started smacking her gum obnoxiously
again. 

The punch reminded me of Lucy, who used to
punch me all the time whether she was pleased or displeased. Laughing or
crying, the girl had always been punching me. Probably a weird way to conduct a
relationship, especially one where I was really trying to avoid being like my
punch-happy father. Probably should have mentioned that to Lucy a bit more. I
took another deep breath and closed my eyes, feeling again the pain of not
having her around. I had kept myself from thinking about her too much, until
today. I usually wouldn’t let my mind go there, but tonight I just couldn’t
help it. I didn’t even feel angry with Lucy anymore, just sad. And I missed
her. I felt the weight of the ring around my neck as I thought about her.