Mr. Darcy's Proposal (32 page)

He frowned. “I do not find it…becoming.” Elizabeth immediately removed it. Tearing one of the ribbons from the hat, she tied back her hair. She grinned and struck a pose.

“Is that better?”

“Yes, thank you,” he said with a nod. Neither moved.

Suddenly, Elizabeth felt the need to step back and put some distance between them. The awkward moment passed, and on the way back to the house, they fell into easy conversation. Although they did not speak of important matters, she had the feeling that some of the closeness of the day still lingered.

***

That evening Darcy, Elizabeth, and Georgiana shared a pleasant dinner together. Darcy was quiet for most of the meal, but several times she caught him watching her. Georgiana entertained them at the pianoforte, and after retiring to their private sitting room, they read. Still he did not have much to say. Elizabeth wished she knew what he was thinking but was not brave enough to ask. She wondered if the reason for his silence was that he was sorry he had shared so much. Finally, she excused herself to go to her room for the night.

Although she had thought she was tired, once in bed she found sleep eluding her. Deciding it was hopeless, she lit a lamp and looked for her book. As she was searching, she realized she had left it in the sitting room. This caused her no small amount of irritation because now she would have to go retrieve it. After examining her options, she decided to wait until she was sure Darcy had gone to his room. No sooner had she put her ear to the door than she heard footsteps and then the sound of his door closing. After waiting a few minutes to ensure he was not returning, she opened the door a crack and peered in and confirmed that the room was empty.

Elizabeth had just reached the table where her book lay when she heard the door to Darcy’s room open. He stood in the doorway watching her. Their eyes held, but neither spoke. Unsure what to do or say, she only knew she was very uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her. Her lightweight summer shift probably left almost nothing to the imagination. Elizabeth felt the heat spreading quickly over her neck, chest, and face until she felt as if she was glowing in the dark. Resolving to keep her dignity, she picked up her book and then looking him squarely in the eye, she said simply, “Good-night, sir.”

Walking to her room, she could feel his eyes on her back. Her knees were shaking so hard that she prayed they would not give out before she reached her door. Once safely back in her room, Elizabeth closed the door and leaned against it in relief. It took a long time for the flush that covered her to dissipate and her heart beat to return to normal. It was even longer until she could sleep.

***

After watching Elizabeth return to her room, Darcy closed his door and rested his forehead on the smooth cool wood while he tried to regain control of himself. It was all he could do to keep from following her.

Falling asleep that night was almost impossible as he replayed over and over in his mind how amazing she had looked silhouetted against the dim glow of the fire. He had been able to see the outline of her body through her gown from her full breasts to the gentle curve of her hips. He wondered if she had any idea how deliciously tempting she was to him. Keeping the promise to himself to wait to be sure she truly cared for him was becoming painfully difficult. Everything about Elizabeth was intoxicating—her smile, her melodic laugh, her fine eyes. Several times, he had experienced a surge of desire from simply catching the scent of her perfume when he entered a room. How long could he wait? When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed in glorious detail about what would have happened if she had invited him to her room.

Forty Three

The warm weather was slipping by too quickly. Elizabeth looked through the window at the beautiful day and knew she must be outside in the sunshine. Opening the double doors of the library, she slipped out and headed down the steps into the perfectly manicured gardens.

She had not gone too far when she heard Georgiana calling her name. Elizabeth suspected she might have something on her mind, as she usually did not show much interest in joining her for a walk.

“Thank you for waiting,” Georgiana said a little breathlessly. “May I walk with you a while?”

“I was just going to look at the rose garden,” said Elizabeth linking her arm with Georgiana’s. They walked in silence for a few minutes before the young girl spoke.

“Elizabeth, I have been thinking about what my brother said recently about starting to plan my coming out season in London—possibly next year.” This had been the topic of discussion a few nights ago after dinner. Actually, it had not been much of a discussion as Darcy had talked on the topic, and Georgiana had participated very little other than giving him an occasional sullen look. Elizabeth was not sure he had even noticed.

“And what do you think about it?” Elizabeth asked.

“I think next year would be much too soon. Having to meet all those new people and talk to them and be clever—you know how very much I dislike trying to make conversation with strangers. I am afraid that everyone will think me simple. What if everyone laughs at me? I could not bear the humiliation.”

“You are worried about having to talk to people?” Georgiana kept her eyes on the ground and nodded her head. “You are starting to worry nearly a year in advance of the actual event. Much can happen in a year. Do you realize how much you have grown up just in the few months I have known you?”

Glancing at Georgiana’s face, Elizabeth noticed the girl’s lower lip quivering. She stopped to put an arm around her sister’s shoulder. “My sweet, I promise that no one will make you do anything you do not wish to.”

“But William says that I must have a season in London and I must find a husband, but I have no wish to leave Pemberley,” said Georgiana, her voice betraying an edge of panic.

“That is not what I heard him say. He has said that soon it would be time for you to start meeting people outside our family circle and that does mean following certain rituals, such as a coming out season. Of course, he has hopes you will find someone, but no one will force you to marry if you do not wish to. You are still very young. We just want you to be happy. I think it might be quite pleasant to talk about music and your other interests with some new friends.”

“It might be,” she conceded reluctantly.

“Some of your new friends will undoubtedly be young ladies. It is not just all about the gentlemen.”

“Still, I do not think I will ever be able to talk easily with strangers.”

“Then you must do what I once suggested to your brother.”

“What is that?” Georgiana asked curiously.

“It is like learning to play the pianoforte—you must practice.” Some of the tension left Georgiana’s face and she smiled. As they walked on in companionable silence, Elizabeth sensed that her sister had more on her mind.

“Elizabeth, how did you know my brother was the person you wished to marry?”

Elizabeth laughed to herself. “Oh, we are a complicated story.”

“Please, tell me. Did you know from the first time you met?”

Elizabeth bit the side of her lip as she thought about what to say. “No, I cannot say we liked each other much at all in the beginning.”

Georgiana’s eyes grew big. “I cannot believe that.”

“Let me assure you it is true. Our paths first crossed at an assembly in Meryton. I think Mr. Bingley forced your brother to come with him that evening, and he was miserable. He was not acquainted with anyone except for Mr. Bingley and his party. You know how he can be when he is not in the mood to talk. Also, the people at that particular dance were not at all the usual kind of society he is accustomed to mixing with. We have much simpler tastes in the country.”

“Did you dance together that evening?”

“No, not at all.”

Georgiana was truly surprised to hear this. “I do not believe it.”

“I assure you it is true. When they arrived, Mr. Bingley immediately requested an introduction to my sister, and then he asked her to dance. Of course, Jane is always considered the one of most beautiful young ladies in any room, and that night was no exception. Mr. Bingley was enjoying himself so much that he encouraged your brother to dance, too. In fact, he offered to have Jane introduce us.”

“So, Mr. Bingley was interested in Jane from the very beginning. That is so romantic.”

Elizabeth laughed thinking about the crooked path that had finally brought her elder sister and Mr. Bingley together. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

“You were introduced to William then?”

“Oh, no, when Mr. Bingley pointed me out, your brother refused the introduction.”

“That is unbelievable, but how did you find out about this?”

“I was sitting not too far away and overheard their conversation.”

Georgiana’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “You must have misunderstood. My brother has always said you are the most beautiful woman he has ever known.”

“I think he found I improved upon better acquaintance,” said Elizabeth wryly.

Georgiana brightened. “And what did you think of William when you first saw him?”

Elizabeth bit her lip. How could she answer truthfully without telling Georgiana things she would not understand? “I believe my very first impression was that he was quite tall.” They both laughed. Elizabeth went on to relate the story of her stay at Netherfield during Jane’s illness. She gave only a brief outline of what had transpired and let Georgiana’s imagination fill in the details. Elizabeth did not want her dear sister to know the truth of how much she had despised Darcy during the first months of their acquaintance.

“So when did you first dance together?”

“The first time was at the ball Mr. Bingley hosted last fall.”

“Did you like my brother better by then?”

Elizabeth smiled as she thought about that evening. “No, I confess I did not, and I was certain he only looked at me to find fault. You know how forbidding he can be. I was quite surprised when he asked me for a dance.”

Georgiana looked as if she was still trying to make sense of this new information. “I am confused. If you did not like each other, then how did you form an attachment?”

Elizabeth sighed. From the questions Georgiana was asking, it was clear Darcy had chosen not to inform his sister about the conditions of their marriage. “I guess you could say we became better acquainted in Kent.”

“You were visiting your cousin, were you not?”

Elizabeth nodded. “When I received news that my father had fallen ill, your brother gallantly offered his help. I owe him so much for that act of kindness.”

“Oh, yes, William is the most thoughtful person I know,” Georgiana exclaimed. “He would do anything for the people he loves.”

“I was quite amazed when he offered his help. I was not aware of his feelings for me until he came to Longbourn a few days later.”

Georgiana looked confused again. “But when he was in London, just before he left for Hertfordshire, he acted as if the two of you had already reached an understanding.”

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. Georgiana suddenly looked a little flustered. Elizabeth gave her a reassuring smile. “Your brother and I had mostly misunderstandings when we first met. Fortunately, we were able to…” Elizabeth let her voice trail off. Georgiana was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she did not seem to notice Elizabeth’s hesitation.

“Elizabeth, tell me about love? Is it as wonderful as the novels say?”

Elizabeth was surprised at the directness of Georgiana’s questions. “Georgiana, really! This is not something easy to speak about.”

“I am sorry, I had no right to pry.”

When Elizabeth saw Georgiana’s embarrassment, she put her hand on the girl’s arm to reassure her. “No, I am the one who should apologize. I should not encourage you to be more open and then chastise you when you are.”

“It is just that have never seen my brother look at anyone the way he looks at you. I only hope I can find someone who loves me that much.”

Elizabeth sighed. “Marriage is very complicated and our relationship is not without its difficulties. I am trying to be a good wife to him and sister to you. I am also doing my best to learn how to be Mistress of Pemberley, but I am finding there is more to it than I first imagined.”

“I think you are wonderful. Everyone here loves you. All of the servants think you are so gracious and kind. They are always saying what a fine choice William made for a wife.”

Elizabeth turned to Georgiana. “And how do you know what the servants think?”

Georgiana blushed. “Oh, I hear things. They talk to me sometimes, but do not ask me to say more. I must not reveal my sources,” she said with mock seriousness.

“Ah, I can see now if I want to know what is really going on in this house, I must come to you.” They both laughed.

“It is late. We should turn back,” said Elizabeth. They were silent for most of the way to the house. As they reached the door to go in, Georgiana touched Elizabeth’s arm.

“Thank you for talking to me about this. I am resolved to practice more conversation.”

Elizabeth gave her sister a hug. “You are a very special young lady, Georgiana. I am very fortunate to have you as my sister.”