Mr. Darcy's Proposal (29 page)

The next morning the weather was perfect. A few fluffy clouds floated along on a sea of clear blue sky. The sun was warm but not too hot. Elizabeth had ridden enough now that she knew most of Sonnet’s moods, and the little horse seemed to sense she was going to have the opportunity to stretch her legs a bit more than usual. The journey was an easy one, but by the time they finally reached their destination, Elizabeth was ready for a rest. Darcy tied their horses under a stand of trees near the river.

“This has always been one of my favorite places,” he said as he helped her down. “I came here often with my mother when I was very young. The water is fairly shallow and the current not too strong, so it’s the perfect place for a swim on a hot day.”

Elizabeth was flattered he had chosen to share this special place with her. Walking along the edge of the river, Elizabeth wished she could cool her feet in the water but was unsure what Darcy’s reaction would be to such informality. Deciding she did not need his permission to enjoy herself, she sat down on a rock and began to take off her boots. Although she could feel his eyes on her, he made no comment while she tried not to notice he was watching her every move. After removing her boots and stockings, she padded barefoot over to the bank of the river. Lifting her skirts just enough to keep them from getting wet, she walked into the water up to her ankles.

“This feels lovely,” she said, searching Darcy’s face for an indication of what he was thinking. “You should join me.”

“I would very much like that, but these boots are impossible for me to remove without help,” he said.

“I can do that if you wish. I used to help my father from time to time.” The first one came off quite easily but in the process of removing the second, Elizabeth lost her balance and sat down abruptly on the ground. Then she began to laugh.

“Are you injured?” he asked, looking very serious as he reached out to help her up.

“I am fine,” she said, still laughing. “Do you think I am so fragile that a little tumble like that would hurt me?”

“Well, I…” he stammered.

Once she was standing, he continued to hold her hand. They stood there for a moment looking at each other before she spoke. “I will need my hand back now, if you do not mind?” she told him gently.

Although he looked away, she could tell that he was blushing. Hiking up her skirt, she waded back in. Tentatively, he followed her into the water until it was just over his ankles. He pretended to be preoccupied with something in the water, but she sensed his eyes following her.

“Shall I tell you a secret that will quite scandalize you?” she offered and without waiting for a response she continued, “When I was younger, I used to climb trees!”

“Somehow, that does not surprise me,” he said, following her farther out into the shallow water.

“I spent many hours up in the trees at Longbourn. I would even take a book and read on occasion when I wanted to avoid my mother for a few hours. Once I fell asleep up in a tree. Unfortunately, when I dozed off, I fell out.”

“Were you hurt?”

“Only my pride. I have never told anyone that story before. Now I have shared one of my deepest, darkest secrets,” she teased, “so you must tell me one of yours.” Darcy hesitated for a moment and sensing his reluctance, she prodded. “Come now, Mr. Darcy. I know you must have some secrets.”

“Very well, when I was a boy, my cousin Richard and I would often come to this spot in the summer, throw off our clothes, and go for a swim.”

“How shocking!” she said, feigning horror at his admission. “Knowing your sense of propriety, I imagine this was his idea.”

“Actually, I believe it was mine. Does that surprise you?”

“Yes, but then your actions often surprise me,” she responded, her eyes bright with mischief.

“I am starting to like this game. Please tell me another secret,” he asked.

“Very well. Yours was actually the third proposal of marriage I had received in my life, but the first I accepted. You know about Mr. Collins, of course, but I had another proposal even before that from a boy who lived in Meryton.”

“Oh, really?”

“He was a very handsome lad, and quite charming, too.” Darcy frowned but said nothing. After a brief silence, she decided to stop tormenting him.

“Did I mention that we were both seven years old at the time?” she said, putting her hand to her mouth to try and suppress a giggle.

“I think you did omit that detail in the telling,” he said, looking clearly relieved.

“He was the son of a man who worked for my uncle in Meryton.”

“So you have had some practice with proposals.”

Elizabeth smiled at his retort and kicked up some water in his direction with her foot as her reply.

“My proposal to you was my first, as you probably already know,” said Darcy, suddenly more serious. “I had planned to ask you that evening at the parsonage, but when I arrived, it was clear that it would not have been appropriate.” The silence between them was filled with the sound of the water bubbling over some nearby rocks.

“I was so embarrassed that you found me in such a state, but you were very kind,” she said, evading his implied question. “That was the first time you had to dry my tears with one of your handkerchiefs.”

“The first of many.” He smiled.

“I think I have cried more in the past few months than in my whole life before put together,” she said.

“There is no need to explain yourself. This has been a difficult time.”

“I just would not want you to think that being constantly in tears is in my nature,” she said.

“And what would you say is your nature—generally?” he asked.

Elizabeth considered her words before responding. “I would have to say that I am usually quite happy. I enjoy people and take great delight in the ironies I observe in life. I also believe laughter is an essential part of my happiness. And you, Mr. Darcy?”

“I believe you once told me you thought I had an ‘unsocial and taciturn’ disposition.”

Elizabeth shook her head slowly. “I may have been mistaken in that. You are quiet and prone to stand apart from the crowd, although I believe you enjoy a lively conversation with people you know well. I noticed when Jane and Mr. Bingley were visiting, you talked more than usual.”

“I very much enjoyed our visit from Bingley and Jane. I look forward to spending time with them again. Now I am hungry. Shall we see what Cook has packed?” he said.

They spread a blanket under a tree and brought out their picnic. It was a simple affair—bread, cheese, some fruit and biscuits, and two small bottles of cider. Although Darcy had instructed the kitchen staff not to fuss, Cook had been unable to resist adding some tiny cakes to the basket. They sat together comfortably and talked mainly about horses as they ate. She had found that horses was one of the topics on which he would speak at length without much encouragement, and she took advantage of this as often as she could. As a result, she was learning much more about those creatures than she had ever thought possible. As they finished their meal, he slipped out of his coat, which he folded into a tidy bundle and placed under his head for a pillow as he lay back to look up at the sky. This kind of informality was not what she had expected as he rarely even loosed his neck cloth in her presence—let alone removed his coat.

“When I was a child, I used to play a game of trying to figure out what the clouds looked like—a dragon, a horse, a castle. Did you ever do that with your sisters?” he asked.

“Yes, but I believe we saw far different things. We imagined fairies and handsome princes.”

“Look up there,” he said, pointing to a large cloud overhead. “That one definitely resembles a face.”

“Where?” she asked, shading her eyes to look.

“Nearly right above us. You would be able to see better if you were reclining. Here use my coat for your head.”

Elizabeth hesitated, a little uncomfortable with the idea, but finally she accepted his offer. “Now where is that face?”

Darcy pointed to a jagged cloud, and she was forced to agree that it did resemble a man with a beard. They looked for other shapes for a while, and then Elizabeth sat up, pulled her knees up to her chin, and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Thank you for bringing me here and sharing this place.”

Darcy looked dreamily at the sky. “‘
In solitude What happiness? Who can enjoy alone, Or all enjoying, what contentment find?’
” He turned on his side to face her and rose up on one elbow.

“Milton?” she asked.

“Yes,
Paradise Lost
just before God creates Eve to be Adam’s companion.”

Elizabeth glanced at Darcy and saw he was looking at her with his unreadable half smile—just a slight curling upward of his mouth as in his portrait in the gallery. She met his gaze for a moment and then looked away pretending to watch the river.

“I am sorry if I said something to displease you, Elizabeth.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, but I do think it is time for us to start back,” she said as she began putting her stockings and boots back on. “We have a long ride ahead of us, and we have lingered here much longer than we had planned. Georgiana will be looking for us to return. We would not want someone to send out a search party for us.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Elizabeth flushed. If Darcy noticed her discomfort, he generously did not mention it.

Reaching for his boots, he tugged them on while Elizabeth packed up the debris of their picnic. Then she shook out the blanket they had been using and began to fold it up. It was much too large for her to manage alone, and she struggled for a while before asking for help.

“Would you help me fold the blanket, please?”

“Of course. Tell me what you wish me to do.”

Elizabeth looked at him somewhat puzzled. Then it occurred to her he was not accustomed to doing mundane chores like this for himself. There was always a servant around to take care of the details. “You have never shared folding a blanket with someone, have you?” she asked. He shook his head.

“Then what have you done before when you’ve been out on a picnic?” Darcy merely shrugged his shoulders. “Very well, I shall teach you.” As she directed him in what to do, he seemed to be watching her more than the blanket and on the last fold, they each thought the other was going to grasp it, and so it fell back on the ground.

“I believe, sir, you need to learn to follow directions better!”

“No, madam, I think you must be clearer giving the instructions,” he responded with mock seriousness, and so they began again. This time, they were able to complete the folding, and while Darcy was packing it away, Elizabeth stood stroking Sonnet’s nose as she waited for him to help her up into the saddle.

“I think you have become fond of her,” he said.

“She is a sweet creature.”

When Darcy put his hands on her waist to lift her up, Elizabeth felt him hesitate. Looking up into his face, she saw such desire in his eyes that she was almost paralyzed. Suddenly, Darcy pulled her to him. Turning her head against his chest, she could hear the pounding of his heart and the raggedness of his breathing. Without thinking, she put her arms around him. His reaction was an audible exhale. Elizabeth relaxed and leaned into him enjoying the sensation of being so close. He smelled of his usual spicy scent, but there were also other smells of horse and sweat mixed in today. It made her almost light-headed.

Darcy bent down and with his lips brushing her hair, repeated her name softly several times. The feel of his breath on her ear sent a chill down the length of her spine. When he began to kiss the sensitive skin on her neck, she heard herself sigh with pleasure at these new sensations.

As he held her, she could feel his hand gently stroking her back. Taking her chin in his hand, he slowly lifted her face and brought his lips to hers. It was a quick, sweet kiss that was immediately followed by a much longer one. It was as if he had tasted her lips and finding them delicious decided to go back for more.

This second kiss was something quite different. Elizabeth experienced a moment of panic at the rush of sensations coursing through her, but she stopped herself from pulling away. He had done so many kindnesses for her over the months of their marriage; certainly she could try to please him by responding to his attentions. It was, after all, proving to be quite pleasurable. Reaching up, she put both arms around his neck. As her knees grew weak and unsteady, any thoughts of irritation about their various disagreements were pushed aside as passion washed over her.

Suddenly, Darcy released her. It all happened so fast that she almost lost her balance. To keep herself from toppling over, she was forced to reach out to Sonnet to steady herself. Darcy walked a few paces away and stood with his back to her. They were both breathing heavily.

Without thinking she heard herself blurt out, “Have I done something wrong?”

Turning back to her, he shook his head. His face, which had been filled with passion only moments before, was now once again under tight control. “I think we should be on our way home now. It is late, and we still have a long ride.”

This time when he lifted her up onto Sonnet, he did not look her in the eye. As he walked to his own horse, she watched his back admiring his tall figure and broad shoulders. Her heart continued to race as she asked herself why he had pulled away so abruptly. She began to wonder if she would ever understand him. Darcy had brought her to a place that was obviously special to him, had played in the water with her, and shared a few secrets. He had kissed her passionately, but then the door had slammed shut. Since she had little experience with this, she was very confused. Finally, her confusion began to turn to irritation.