Mr. Darcy's Proposal (30 page)

She knew she was finding him increasingly attractive and could no longer deny the power he was beginning to have over her physically. Responding to his kisses was much easier and much more thrilling than she thought it would be. What was happening to her? Elizabeth shook her head to clear out the conflicting thoughts and tried to focus on guiding Sonnet along the path back to Pemberley.

***

As they rode along, Darcy was furious with himself for nearly going too far. He had been just about to slide his hands down to her hips and pull her closer against him when he recovered his sanity. She was much too tempting—the way she felt, the way she smelled. It was making him crazy. Whenever he was near her, he ached to hold her. What kind of irony was it that the one person with whom he must always be in control was also the one person most likely to make him lose it?

Elizabeth had seemed responsive to his kisses, but then he began to wonder if she was really acting out of love or merely fulfilling the obligation she felt as his wife. While he was exploring his confusion, he nearly hit his head on a branch that was hanging low over the path. Chastising himself for being so careless, he resolved to pay closer attention to where he was going.

Forty

“We have been invited to Matlock for a visit,” announced Darcy reading from a letter he had received from his aunt and uncle, Lord and Lady Matlock.

Elizabeth looked up from her sewing. She had been feeling a lack of society since Jane and Mr. Bingley had left so she was pleased with the idea of meeting another part of Darcy’s family—one that might be more welcoming to her than Lady Catherine.

“Of course, if you do not wish to go now, I am sure they would understand,” Darcy added.

“I am in favor of accepting their invitation. I would very much like to meet them.”

“Excellent! I shall write immediately to make arrangements.”

“So may I assume that your aunt and uncle are not of the same mind as Lady Catherine when it comes to our marriage?” Elizabeth asked.

“I think you will find that my uncle could not be more different. If you liked Colonel Fitzwilliam, you will most certainly like his parents. My cousin has his mother’s sense of humor.”

Letters were exchanged, plans were made and within a fortnight, the Darcys set off for Matlock. Elizabeth was pleased to learn that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been able to arrange a short leave from his regiment in order to join them for a few days. After enjoying many lively discussions with him when they were in Kent, she was looking forward to being in his company again.

***

Elizabeth suffered from nervous anticipation before their trip but almost immediately after arriving, she discovered that she sincerely enjoyed the company of her new relations. Lord and Lady Matlock were people of refinement, but they were almost wholly lacking the sense of extreme self-importance that Lady Catherine had in such abundance. Although Lord Matlock was clearly a man accustomed to having the world arranged to please him, he still seemed to treat people at all levels of the social stratum with a respect and concern. Elizabeth had observed over the years that you could tell much about people by the way they treated their servants. In a very short time, she was able to observe that both Lord Matlock and Lady Matlock showed consideration toward everyone in their household. Elizabeth warmed to them almost immediately.

Although she was certain that while her new relations must be curious about her, they did not ask embarrassing questions or probe her for information that first evening. Instead, they did all they could to make her feel welcome. Colonel Fitzwilliam, who had arrived the day before, was in fine form and kept them all laughing with tales of his adventures training new recruits. Fitzwilliam’s elder brother Viscount Bentley proved to be as pleasant and unaffected as his parents, and his wife Lady Bentley treated Elizabeth with great warmth. The result was a thoroughly enjoyable evening—one of the most pleasant Elizabeth could remember since Jane and Bingley’s visit to Pemberley.

***

When she and Darcy went upstairs that evening to retire, instead of saying goodnight at her door, he followed her into her room, something he had not done before. Her heart began to pound in her ears as she wondered what was on his mind. Much to her relief, Darcy walked over to a small sitting area at one side of her room and made himself comfortable.

“So what is your opinion of my aunt and uncle?” he asked, leaning back and stretching out his long legs. This evening, encouraged by his uncle and cousins, he had consumed more wine and brandy than was his habit. Elizabeth wondered if this accounted for the fact that he seemed more relaxed and animated than usual. She also wondered if it might make him somewhat unpredictable. Elizabeth anxiously perched on the chair across from him and continued to watch for a sign of his intentions. As she studied his face closely, she was reminded that he was indeed a very handsome man.

“Even though they are a good deal as you described, I did not imagine I would like them so very much. As you said, your uncle could not be more different than Lady Catherine. So different, in fact, it is hard to imagine they were raised in the same house.”

“My Aunt Catherine is actually the oldest, my mother the youngest with my uncle between them. I think Lady Catherine has always felt slighted that she could not inherit the family title. She certainly thinks enough of herself. I have often wondered if she viewed marrying Sir Lewis de Bourgh as a less than perfect match. Although he was a man of property and great wealth, he was not at the same level of society as the Fitzwilliams.”

“I know she can be difficult, but I wish we could find a way to be reconciled with her. Until that happens I will always feel I have come between you and your family,” she said. Darcy leaned forward in his chair and reached across the space between them to take her small hand in his.

“Elizabeth, you should not feel badly about a situation my aunt has created for herself. She is behaving like a petulant child. I believe she will come around soon enough, and if she doesn’t…well…” He shrugged his shoulders.

Although Darcy seemed to be quite content tracing the back of her hand with one of his long fingers, Elizabeth felt uneasy. His proximity to her was both exciting and disturbing. Just like the moon pulling the tides, she felt drawn to him in spite of their differences. Darcy must have observed her discomfort. “Elizabeth, is something disturbing you?”

“No, no, nothing. I believe I am just tired,” she said, pulling her hand away to rub her temple with her fingers. “It has been a very long day—the travel, meeting your family. I think all the excitement has worn me out.”

“But you are pleased we have come to visit?”

She smiled. “Of course, I am. I had a lovely evening. Seeing your cousin the Colonel again is a delight.”

“Then I will say good-night.” Darcy rose to his feet, and automatically Elizabeth stood, too. When Darcy put his arms around her, her breath caught, and she was sure he must be able to feel her shaking.

“You are cold.” He held her closer and rubbed his hand up and down her back as if to warm her. A part of her wanted nothing more than to put her arms around him and relax into his care. When she had done that after their picnic at the river, he had pulled away, leaving her feeling rejected. She did not want to have that same experience again. Although she laid her head on his chest, she kept her arms at her sides. After holding her for a few minutes, Darcy kissed the top of her head and released her. As he closed the door, she thought she heard him sigh.

As soon as she was alone, Elizabeth collapsed back into the chair. Clasping her shaking hands together, she lowered her forehead to rest it on them. She stayed like that taking deep breaths until her heart slowed to its normal rate.

Forty One

The next morning, the gentlemen went shooting. As they planned to go to a neighboring estate for their sport, Georgiana asked if she might ride along to visit with the daughter of that family who had been a friend since childhood. Lady Bentley, who was in the early months of her third confinement, was often indisposed into the afternoon. As a result, she begged their forgiveness for keeping to her bedchamber to rest.

Lady Matlock seemed to be waiting for the opportunity to have Elizabeth to herself. She suggested a stroll in the gardens—an idea that pleased Elizabeth very much. The estate was not as large as Pemberley, but it was easily as grand in its own way. While Elizabeth saw much to admire, she still much preferred the grounds at Pemberley. She was surprised by the proprietary pride she felt when she thought of her home.

As Lady Matlock and Elizabeth strolled down a long, covered walkway, the older woman carried on a running commentary about the plants, especially pointing out the herb garden, a favorite project of hers. As Lady Matlock talked, Elizabeth took the opportunity to observe her aunt carefully. All she detected was genuine warmth.

Finally, they reached a beautiful gazebo where some food had been laid out for them. Conversing with Lady Matlock could not have been more different than being interrogated and preached at by Lady Catherine. Her aunt’s interest in Elizabeth seemed more from a genuine desire to know her new niece better than from a wish to pry into her life or pass judgments upon her. At the same time, Lady Matlock was clearly curious about Elizabeth.

“I was very sorry to hear about your father,” said Lady Matlock sincerely.

“Thank you for your kind words.”

“I believe he passed away not long after you were married.”

“Yes, it was less than two weeks. We had hoped that he would rally at least long enough to see my sister Jane married, too, but it was not to be.”

“Losing your father must have been devastating.”

“I would not have been able to manage without Darcy to help me,” she said and as she spoke the words she realized how true it was. The conversation slowed as the ladies sipped lemonade and ate some delicate little cakes decorated with tiny pink flowers.

“You will have to forgive me for being so curious. Darcy has told us so little about you,” said Lady Matlock politely. “He has not even told us how you met.”

Elizabeth blushed under the older woman’s keen eye. What could she say that would not reveal too much? She could hardly tell her the true circumstances of their strange courtship—if you could even call it that. When Elizabeth related the barest details of how they had met last fall and then encountered each other again in the spring in Kent, Lady Matlock did not ply her with questions, although Elizabeth was certain she would have liked to hear more.

“If I am not mistaken you met my son in Kent,” said Lady Matlock.

“Yes, I very much enjoyed the conversations we had. Now that I have met you, I can see where he gets his lively wit and charm.”

“You flatter me too much. Richard has always been a delightful boy.” Then Lady Matlock began to talk about the friendship between Darcy and her sons. “William was always such a quiet child—and so serious. Richard and Henry both loved to tease him because it was so easy to do. There was nothing malicious in the teasing, but it seemed as if he just did not know how to participate in their verbal games,” she told Elizabeth.

“Please tell me more about what he was like as a child. I have only Mrs. Reynolds to rely on.”

“Whenever he felt uncomfortable in a new situation, he would be silent and watchful. He could pin you to the wall with those big eyes. And such a great observer of people. He took it all in. I came to realize very quickly that he was exceedingly shy.”

“Yes, he still has a difficult time talking to people.”

“Darcy was also the most honest child I have ever known. When he was about ten, there was some sort of trouble—I cannot even remember what it was now. When I asked Darcy to tell me what had happened, it was impossible for him to lie. I found out later that Richard had also been involved, but my nephew took the punishment and never let on. He is still one of the most honorable young men I know. But I am certainly not telling you anything you have not already discovered for yourself.”

“No, in that he has not changed,” responded Elizabeth thinking about how much he disliked deception of any kind.

On their walk back to the house, Lady Matlock spoke more of the cousins’ adventures as children. Then she suddenly changed the subject. “My nephew has told me that he is very much looking forward to having children.”

Elizabeth almost stumbled. “Of course, we are hoping for children…someday…ah, soon,” said Elizabeth carefully arranging her face to cover her discomfort.

“You know he is very good with children. Whenever Henry and Diana’s little ones visit, Darcy always finds time for them,” said Lady Matlock.

Elizabeth tried to keep from revealing her confusion. “We have not really spoken of children in much detail. I have always assumed that he would welcome them—especially an heir for Pemberley—but we have not…” she said her voice trailing off as she did not know how to approach such a delicate subject.

“Again, I have shocked you with my directness. You do not need to explain yourself.”

The longer she talked with Lady Matlock the more Elizabeth was reminded of her Aunt Gardiner. She grew more and more at ease and so by the end of their day together, she felt as if she had acquired a new friend as well as an aunt.