Mr. Darcy's Proposal (31 page)

The remainder of the Darcys’ visit to Matlock passed more pleasantly than Elizabeth could ever have anticipated. Darcy took her out in the carriage to see the local sights, and several times they went riding together. Evenings were filled with family dinners at which both the cuisine and the conversation were of the highest quality.

Elizabeth noticed during their visit that Darcy was very much at ease with his family and she saw a side of him that she had only glimpsed before. As a result, she began to feel a growing closeness between them that she found to be quite enjoyable.

***

On the last day of their visit, Lady Matlock took Elizabeth aside for another private talk. “My dear, when I first heard about your marriage, I must admit I was concerned about my nephew’s choice. Now after spending some time with you, I must say that I am pleased—very pleased, in fact,” said Lady Matlock smiling.

Elizabeth blushed and looked away.

“Darcy and Georgiana have had so little joy in their lives since the loss of their parents. I can tell you are bringing some light and life back into Pemberley.”

“Lady Matlock, I am not sure I deserve such compliments,” Elizabeth responded uncomfortably.

“Nonsense, my dear. I have seen Darcy three times since your marriage and each time I have been pleasantly surprised at how much he has changed. He will always be reserved, but his sense of humor is returning. He reminds me more and more of his mother.”

“Then I am very glad of it. He is a very good man,” said Elizabeth.

“I want you to know that when it is time for you to enter society in London, I will be there to help you. It is important to make it clear to everyone that you have the full support of this part of the family at least. The Earl is very taken with you, too. He has promised to confront his sister and let her know we will not tolerate her speaking ill of you.”

“I have been so focused on getting comfortable at Pemberley that I have not had time to even begin to think about London society. It sounds completely overwhelming. Thank you for your help. I do not know how I can ever repay you,” said Elizabeth as tears formed in her eyes.

At this, Lady Matlock kissed Elizabeth on both cheeks and said, “Just take good care of my boy. He deserves some happiness in his life.”

“I will do my best,” Elizabeth told her and she meant it.

Forty Two

Upon their return from Matlock, Elizabeth renewed her efforts to get along better with Darcy. They frequently went riding because it was something they both enjoyed and it was an activity that did not depend on talking. Because they rode more often, her skills improved quickly. As she became more confident, they wandered farther and farther from home. Darcy was delighted when her riding skills exceeded his expectations. It did not surprise him when she discovered how much fun it was to gallop down a country lane or across an open field. Darcy always stayed close, keeping Hector in check so they could ride side by side.

After following one of their favorite trails, they came to a place where it opened up to cross a road. Suddenly, Elizabeth kicked Sonnet into a gallop and took off up the road. The few seconds it took Darcy to react gave her enough of a head start that she was able to reach the top of the hill first. He saw her slow and look back with a grin on her face.

“That was not fair,” he exclaimed, drawing up beside her.

“I need every advantage I can get! Hector is so much faster than my poor little girl.” She stroked Sonnet’s glossy neck.

During her gallop, Elizabeth’s riding hat had come loose and was hanging off the back of her head, held on only by the ribbons under her chin. Darcy watched with wide eyes as she removed the hat and then pulled out the pins holding her hair in place. Once released, her unruly curls tumbled down over her shoulders. As he brought Hector over beside Sonnet, it took all his self-control not to reach out and touch her hair.

“Oh, my God, Elizabeth, you are so beautiful!” he could not stop himself from exclaiming.

She blushed and then her eyes twinkled with mischief. “I wonder what it would feel like to ride with my hair down,” she said with a laugh.

Apparently, she was more serious than he had realized as she turned and flew off down the road again with her dark locks waving along behind her. She looked wild and free—so much more like the woman he had come to love all those months ago and more like the Elizabeth who had been missing since that day at the parsonage when she learned about her father’s illness.

Darcy followed her, enjoying the view from behind. Usually, he was leading the way, and this was an entirely different and very pleasing perspective. He slowed his horse just enough to prolong the pleasure a few seconds longer before he caught up with her.

Suddenly, she pulled up short. Swinging around, she slid off Sonnet and onto the ground. Even at a distance, he could see the look of distress on her face. By the time he reached her, she was loosening the saddle. A quick examination revealed that Sonnet was starting to develop a sore spot under her saddle. It was clear it would be best for her not to carry any weight for the rest of the way home. Their best option was to walk.

While Darcy was making some adjustments to the saddle blanket, Elizabeth tried to get control of her hair. Since most of the pins were gone, she improvised by winding her hair around several times in the back and then settling her hat on her head to hold her tresses in place. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched in fascination at how her graceful hands moved so quickly and with such certainty in performing their task.

***

As they walked, the wind increased and the clouds were moving very fast across the sky. Fortunately, the rain seemed to be holding off. Although she sensed Darcy was not inclined to talk, Elizabeth decided the walk might seem shorter if they had some conversation. “I have been acquainted with you for almost a year. We have been married for some months now, and yet there are still so many things I do not know about you,” she began.

“Ask me anything you wish.”

“I know you spent much time with your cousin Fitzwilliam when you were growing up, but did you wish for brothers and sisters, too? Before Georgiana was born, of course.”

“I always wished for a brother to play with. I could imagine him running after me the way I ran after my cousin when I was small. Fitzwilliam is about a year older, and it seemed as if I was always tagging along behind.”

“I can just see you two. You must have been quite the terror.” She noticed he was grinning.

“My nanny, Mrs. Childs, was a lovely lady, but a bit old to be chasing after us all the time. I think we quite wore her out. She must have been very glad when Fitzwilliam went home after a visit.”

“I have always had Jane as my companion and playmate. She and I have different interests, but we could not have been closer as we were growing up.”

“You are very fortunate,” said Darcy.

“When Georgiana was born, did you wish for a brother instead? I always wanted a brother, but all we had were more girls.”

“After my birth, my mother had several miscarriages. I could always tell something had happened when it became dark and still in the house. Then after many years, Georgiana came along. Mother was determined to have a healthy baby that time. She quit riding and often stayed in bed all day. Sometimes I sat with her, and she would read to me when she was feeling well enough. After Georgiana, she never really regained her health.”

***

While they talked, they kept an eye on the weather. Soon the sky began to grow dark and ominous. The wind smelled like water and felt alive as it blew across Elizabeth’s face. It was quite exhilarating, and all her senses grew alert.

“I think if we do not get back soon, we will get very wet. It might be a bit faster if we both rode Hector,” Darcy offered. Elizabeth hesitated but saw the wisdom in his suggestion. “I think it will be easier if you sit astride behind me.” Darcy swung up onto Hector and extended an arm to help her up. “Put your arms around my waist,” he instructed. When she hesitated, he said, “Elizabeth, I do not bite.”

She laughed but did not want to reveal how very uncomfortable she was. Finally, she pulled herself up close behind him, put her arms around his waist and leaned against his back. As they rode along, their bodies moved together in a rhythmic motion in response to Hector’s gait. She had never experienced this kind of closeness to any man in her life. Suddenly, she felt warm all over in spite of the increasing coolness of the wind.

Darcy had held her before, but this was different. She was not sure exactly why—perhaps it was the motion—but this was so much more intimate than any time he had ever touched her. With her legs tucked just behind his, there was no way for her to miss the strength of his thighs as they gripped the saddle or the hardness of his back as she leaned against him.

As usual, Darcy did not seem to feel the need to talk, but Elizabeth knew she needed something to distract her from these unsettling sensations. “The weather is certainly closing in quickly.” When he was silent, she said, “Now it is your turn, Mr. Darcy.”

“What would you have me say?” he asked with a soft chuckle. Clearly, he remembered their conversation at the Netherfield Ball.

“Perhaps you could comment on the wind or the warmth of the day,” she offered.

“Very well. I love the way the wind is blowing those stray locks of your hair around so they tickle my neck.”

She flushed and sat up straight. This was certainly not what she was expecting. “I think we can be silent now,” she said quietly, glad that he could not see how red with embarrassment she was.

“But I was just beginning to enjoy the conversation.” Even though she could not hear it, she could feel him laughing.

Elizabeth considered how to respond. Eventually, she decided that talking was better than silence so she decided to try again. “There is something I have been wanting to tell you.” At least it was a little easier to talk when he could not see her face. “I believe I owe you an apology for my behavior just before Jane’s visit,” she began.

“You do not have to apologize.”

“I remember one stormy day in particular as I stood looking out the window in the library. You tried to talk to me, but I ran away to my room.”

“I could see you were in pain. I just had no idea how to help.”

“I know you were trying to comfort me, but I just pushed you away with no explanation. I am sorry.”

“Since you could not confide in me, I did the only thing I could think to do. I hoped spending time with your sister would make you feel better.”

“It was brilliant, and I am truly thankful for that kindness.” She sighed before she went on. “A few days before that as I was going through some books I had brought with me from Longbourn, I found the one that Papa and I were reading the week he died. There was a letter inside it from him. I suppose he thought that reading his words would comfort me, but it only made me feel more alone in the world.”

“You loved your father very much. It is only natural that you would feel his loss deeply.”

“How did you feel when your parents died?” As soon as she said it, she was sorry she had been so impulsive. The question was much too personal. When she started to apologize and withdraw the question, he surprised her and answered.

“When my mother died, I felt as if I had lost my way in the world, and suddenly nothing was familiar to me. It was as if I had come to a place where I had been before but nothing looked the same. I could not tell north from south. It took a very long time to recover my bearings. When my father died, I had so many responsibilities thrust upon me that I never really had time to think much about his loss. I had no choice but to go on and do the very best I could. So many people were depending upon me—Georgiana, the tenants on the estate, the servants. I have to admit it was a great weight upon me.”

She was touched by the sincerity of his answer. “You were very young to have all that on your shoulders. You must have felt so alone,” said Elizabeth softly.

“I have always been very independent and accustomed to keeping my own counsel. I am not like Bingley who constantly requires the company of others, but yes, it was a difficult time.”

Just then the rain, which had been sputtering, began to come down with more intensity. “Here, take my coat,” he said, slipping it off.

“But you will get very wet,” she protested.

“I will be fine. Just put this over your head.” Elizabeth made a little tent under the coat and pressed herself against his back so closely she could feel the heat emanating from his body. Still, she shivered. Conversation became almost impossible, and so they rode on in silence. In spite of being very wet, she was actually enjoying herself immensely.

By the time they reached the stables, the intensity of the rain had decreased to a mere sputter. Several of the stable boys rushed out to take care of the horses, and one was kind enough to bring some blankets so they could dry off. When Darcy put a blanket around her shoulders, his hands lingered just a moment too long on her shoulders. They stood looking at each other warily for a few moments.

“I really hate that riding hat of yours,” he said unexpectedly.

She stiffened. “What do you mean?”