Moon Chilled (9 page)

"You can't ... No one can change that fast ..." he mumbled, stepping back as she advanced on him.

I wanted to gloat, to tell him of all the long nights I'd spent picturing his face, his body above mine, and how I'd forced myself to shift over and over for hours until I'd passed out from the pain just to get it right. I wanted to tell him about how I used to time myself to make sure I was fast and then to keep going until I was even faster than that. But human words mattered little now. The wolf hunched her back, lowered her tail, and snarled at him. She didn't like him, but it wasn't the same anger that I felt toward him. She disliked him because he was someone that had tried to hurt us. I hated him because of what he'd done to me so many years ago and apparently, if Gavin was anything to go by, what he'd continued to do to Maiki.

Diane scrambled up to him, clutching at him with her long, painted nails. The wolf hesitated. She had no emotion toward her, neither good nor bad. But still, if she insisted in getting in the way, my wolf wouldn't hesitate to take her down too. I let her think, let her be, let her take the lead on this one. She understood concepts like family and mother, at least I thought she did, but there weren't enough images that I could send her that would let her know just how much I despised the woman that had given birth to me.

A scrambling noise from behind us had my wolf spinning on her big paws, ready to defend herself from an attack. But Gavin wasn't a threat. He hugged Maiki's arms as she pulled him against her chest.

"You wouldn't hurt a child, would you?" Ray's words echoed her own thoughts as he came closer. Her ears flicked back and she bared her teeth, a low growl bubbling up from deep in her throat. The sound was meant as a warning to him not to come any closer, and as his footsteps ceased, my wolf was glad to know that he'd listened.

"Of course she wouldn't. She's a good girl. Aren't you, Shae?" Diane's nasally voice did nothing to calm her feelings toward him. But the look in Maiki's eyes, that moved something inside my wolf's mind as she approached her with her head down and her tail lowered until it dragged along the ground behind us. Maiki wasn't prey, but she was still frightened as my wolf approached. The wolf could hear her heart beating in her skin-covered chest. Memories of playing with a tawny wolf in the sun floated toward her on the Maiki's scent, and she shared those images with me, knowing somehow that I'd want to see them too, to know what Maiki's smell told my wolf. They were thoughts of a childhood of happiness, one I barely remembered but that my wolf had kept safe. She sniffed the woman's hair, being careful not to touch the boy in her arms as she tried to remember more of the wolf hidden from her view.

"Come here, boy."

The wolf stepped back as Gavin began to move. He gave her an unreadable look, but there was something there in his wide, brown eyes that I took notice of while my wolf easily dismissed it. Children were strange, according to my wolf. Which was probably why she'd never had any. And living alone didn't help that either. I'd never considered a life with a child in it, and now that I knew where Maiki stood on caring for Gavin, I wasn't sure what I thought about the reality of Maiki having a child of her own.

But none of that mattered at that moment in the small, sunny kitchen as my wolf and I stared into the human eyes that hid her old friend, a small, tawny wolf, from her. My wolf touched her cold, wet nose to Maiki's cheek, wishing she had been able to press against warm brown fur instead. Her wolf was in there, somewhere beneath the frightened mask of Maiki's face. My wolf yipped, the high-pitched sound meant to draw the other wolf out as a call between friends in a pack. But when she didn't emerge, my wolf stepped back, not understanding. I tried to soothe her frustrations with the gentle stroking of fingers against her mind, but it did little to dissuade my wolf's thoughts on the matter. Her wolf was in that human body and she wanted her to come out. It was such a simple demand, yet the tawny female had made no move to obey her. I understood her impatience, her desire to play and see her mate again, but I didn't know why Maiki wasn't coming out either. It was frustrating for both of us, and I hated not having the answers I sought.

"I can't ..." Maiki whispered, shrinking back against the peeling paint of the cabinet behind her shoulder. The wolf's ears went back and her body went still. The words meant nothing to her. They were empty as far as my wolf was concerned. But the pain behind them caught her attention and wouldn't let her look away.

A chair scraped behind them, and my wolf's nose twitched. "I'm still hungry," Ray called, his heavy footsteps shaking the floor beneath the wolf's paws.

Trembling, Maiki got to her feet, her fingers clutching the ugly green countertop so forcefully that her skin turned white. "Yes sir," she said, her gaze falling to the wolf at her side.

Anger quickly overtaking her thoughts, my wolf's lips pulled back in a snarl. The tawny wolf was not there. She hadn't come out, hadn't listened to her call. Maiki with her rounded shoulders and bruised cheek had hid her. Despite my quiet protests, my wolf turned and trotted out the open front door, her big paws barely making a sound as she leapt down the stairs and landed in the soft gravel.

People watched her go; some even called to us in their own human ways. But my wolf didn't stop for them. Only the tawny wolf mattered, and she'd been lost to her, as far as my wolf was concerned.

Chapter Nine

Maiki

"Well, that went well," Diane said snidely as I placed a plate of toast and eggs in front of her. She picked at them, shuffling them around on her plate before pouring salt and pepper on them.

I pulled Gavin into my arms and sat him on his stool in front of his bowl of cereal.

The alpha took a bite of his eggs, made a sour face, and kept eating anyway as I sat down on the linoleum next to Gavin. "What'd you expect? She's always been a headstrong brat. Never had any sense. If she'd stayed longer, maybe I could have fixed that in her. But you let her get away." He shot Diane a dark glare.

"I didn't let her do anything," Diane snapped at him. "She ran. How the hell was I supposed to know she'd get away? If you hadn't passed out that night. If you'd actually locked her up like you were supposed to, this wouldn't have happened. She was a kid. She wasn't actually supposed to get all that far."

"Well, if you'd—"

I tuned them out, instead focusing my attention on Gavin as he quickly ate his sugary cereal. It was an old argument between them, and for as many years as I could remember, it had always ended in a draw between them, neither willing to admit they had any responsibility for Shae's escape.

I wished I could take some, though. I shouldn't have hid behind the couch, too afraid to go with Shae when she'd ran. If I had, if I'd actually trusted my wolf that night, things would have been so much different.

"Mommy. You're crying," Gavin said, reaching for me.

I quickly rubbed my eyes, wishing he hadn't seen the tears I hadn't even known I'd released. "I'm sorry, baby. Mommy just had something in her eyes. Too much pepper."

Diane rolled her eyes and scraped her fork loudly against her plate. I turned away from her and rose to take Gavin's empty bowl to the sink. "Sir?" I called, my voice trembling as my hands curled at my sides.

"What?" He didn't look up at me as he took another bite.

I shifted my weight to the side and looked toward Gavin. He was watching me too, and I smiled at him, hoping to reassure him with the simple gesture. "May I take Gavin outside? It's such a nice day and I've finished with everything, so—"

"Yes. Go on. If you see Shae, bring her back inside before I have to make her." He waved his hand at me, dismissing me from his house.

Not willing to risk him changing his mind, I reached for Gavin's hand and quickly ushered him out of the house. I didn't release my inhaled breath until the back door closed behind us. Out in the sun, I smiled fully at Gavin and lifted him into my arms, twirling him in the tall grass as he laughed and held his arms out behind him.

"I never thought you'd be a mother."

I stopped spinning and held Gavin tightly to my chest. "Hello, Shae," I said as she walked up to us.

"We should talk," Shae said once she was closer. She still stayed more than a yard away, and the distance hurt, but I tried to understand despite having no idea how to fully accomplish such a thing.

I knew that we had a lot to say to each other after so much time apart. "Yes." My voice came out weak, and I saw Shae flinch at the sound. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you here. It's not safe. It's not right. And—"

"Is there somewhere else we can go?" Shae asked, her gaze flitting to the farmhouse beside us.

Blushing, I looked away. "I'm sorry. I should have thought of that. There's somewhere close. It's a small field. Not very big, but it's private. Would that work?"

Shae tilted her head and nodded. I understood that I was supposed to lead her, but I hesitated. Gavin reached up and tugged on the short strands of my hair. Shae motioned for me to go, and that spurred me into action. Regardless of her gender, Shae was a dominant wolf, and I knew where I stood in the pack. Hesitating to follow orders again wouldn't be a wise decision, and to make up for my earlier inaction I walked faster than I normally would have along the barely noticeable trail that cut through the large back yard.

When we were safely away from the house, I put Gavin down and sank to my knees in the chilly grass. The winter sun was warm against my back as my old dress splayed around my thighs. Shae was slower to come down as I watched her scan the surrounding area.

"Mommy, can I go play?" Gavin asked, his small hand gripping mine.

I gave him a small smile. "Of course. Go have fun. But don't go too far and yell if you need anything, please."

He grinned at me before taking off as quickly as his short legs would let him go.

"He's cute, in a kid sort of way," Shae said as she came down to the grass with me.

I watched him go, making sure I knew where he was, before turning back toward Shae. My alpha would want me to bring her inside right away. And I would, soon. I just wanted a minute or two for myself. "Yeah, he is. And Shae, I'm sorry—"

Shae's amber gaze narrowed on me, and the words died on my lips. "You don't apologize to me again. Not to me."

Swallowing thickly, I dropped my gaze.

"So why am I here?" Shae leaned forward, her dark hair falling in front of her face. She brushed a hand over her cheek, pushing the long strands behind her ear.

I turned away, not wanting to be caught watching her. We weren't kids anymore, and looking meant something entirely different now than it had back then. At least to me it did. But still, I couldn't resist taking one last look at Shae's nude body. She'd always been strong, and her muscles had filled out over the years. She looked powerful and fierce in a way that was completely foreign to me.

"I had a dream," I said, my voice going soft as a warm breeze tickled the hair at the back of my neck. I could hear Gavin running nearby, his little feet crunching leaves as he played.

Shae nodded. "Bad?"

I shivered, despite the warm sun on my back. I'd known that telling Shae about the vision would be inevitable, but that didn't make the chill of it any less. "The pack died."

Shae's breath caught, and I closed my eyes. "Impossible."

I brushed some of my blonde hair away and pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them close. "I thought so too. But then the next night I woke up from the same dream. Everything was gone. The houses were still here, but the farmhouse was burned, and then I saw the bodies. They weren't in the first dream, and Shae, they were destroyed."

"Impossible," Shae repeated.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Saying it again doesn't erase what I saw."

Shae shook her head. "No. But sometimes you can be wrong. We both know this. You aren't always right."

"But I am about this. Every single night since that first time I've had the same dream. There are bodies in the street, the farmhouse is burning. It's just ..." I trembled, and my fingers dug into my legs. Talking about it brought all of the details to the surface, and I couldn't see them again. Not yet. I had hours before I had to go to bed and see them. I didn't need to relive it so soon.

"Do you know what causes it?" Shae asked.

Frowning, I sighed loudly. "No."

Shae pursed her lips. "Then why call me? What do you think I can do about it?"

"The alpha said to call you. He's never given me permission before. Not since I got that letter with your number in it last year. But this time he did." I knew I was rambling desperately in an attempt to fill the space. Had it really been so long since I'd seen her? More tears fell over my cheeks, and I was quick to wipe those away as well. "You're so strong, Shae. I think he wants you to protect us with him." It was my best guess, and the only thing I could think of to answer her question.

Shae's snarl was weak on her human lips, but there was no mistaking the sound for what it was. "No. Absolutely not. I will not defend him."

"But you will defend me," I whispered, knowing the truth. When Shae turned to meet my gaze, I didn't look away. "I've always been your weakness. Mated to such a low wolf, such a pitiful creature ... How could you even stand to come back? And now—"

I didn't get to finish my thought as Shae pounced on me, her larger body pinning me to the cold earth below. The first of her kisses was desperately rough, and I wasn't sure what to do as Shae rested against me.

"I've never regretted that you're my mate," Shae whispered, pulling back. My breath caught as I stared up at her. My wolf moved inside my mind, coming untangled from the web I had made for her.

My bottom lip trembled, and I looked away. "I have."

Shae went still on top of me, and her breath caught. "If you don't want me—"

I furiously shook my head. "No! Never that. Oh, Shae, never that."

Frowning down at me, Shae made a noise of impatience in her throat. "Then what?"