Moment of Weakness (Embracing Moments Book 1) (32 page)

His eyes swirled with desire, but his lips fell flat. “We can’t, Julia. I don’t have any protection.”

“I’m on the pill,” I interjected. “I take it daily, always on time.” A small smirk played at his lips. “What?” I asked, wondering what he found so funny.

“I know. When your calendar was on my phone. You had it marked.”

Humiliation reddened my face, and I wanted to kill my father all over again. If Roman knew I was on the pill, then what was the problem? My eyes widened. “Have you been tested? I mean, are you clean?” I asked, nervously.

Roman nodded and swallowed quickly. “Yeah, completely . . . but I didn’t want to assume you were okay with not using one.”

My fingers curled around the soft hair next to his ears, and now that the conversation was over, the tension in the air around us grew thick. Roman’s breathing went shallow, and as he placed another kiss against my lips, I whimpered against them. “I want you, Roman.”

Roman looked at me, and I could tell he was battling the war going on in his mind. His hands curled around mine on either side of my head, and when he moved forward, his arousal pressed against my center. Heat and desire pulled at my insides, and my body shook with the need to feel him. Roman’s fingers threaded through mine, and as he lowered his lips back to mine, he asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I breathed, and the second his lips touched mine, he surged his hips forward. I gasped against his mouth as he pushed into me. A twinge of pain had my body trembling, and Roman pulled me closer. He kissed me harder—caressed me softer. His hips remained still while my body adjusted to the overwhelming pressure of fullness. Tears pricked my eyes, and Roman broke away from my lips.

“Are you okay?”

I waited for the pain to subside, and when it did, I nodded. “I’m okay, just go slow.”

Roman rocked forward, and with each slow roll of his hips, the pain dulled, slowly being replaced with pure undiluted pleasure. I tilted my hips up, meeting one of his thrusts, and Roman groaned against my lips. His grasp on my hands tightened, and I hooked my ankles up over his back, pulling him deeper into me, and oh God, did it feel good. He felt good. I kissed him hard, and his breathing became heavier with every push of his hips.

“You feel so good,” he groaned into my mouth. “You’re so tight. I want this to be good for you, but I don’t know how long I’m going to last.”

It didn’t matter how long he would last, because the truth was, I was already ruined by him. I knew there was nobody who could make me feel as alive as he did. As he continued his slow, steady thrusts, I knew he was holding back because I asked him to, but the pain had disappeared, and the quicker he moved, the better it felt. “Faster, Roman, please,” I panted.

His hands let go of mine and they moved down to curl around my ass, his strong fingers pulled me in meeting his hips with each thrust, and the small ball of heat in my stomach grew to a blazing inferno. Roman’s pace increased, and as he gripped me tighter, my fingers dug into his shoulder blades. “Don’t stop, Roman. Oh God, don’t stop.”

A few more deep pushes and my body cried out in silent tremors. Heat flooded my insides, and every nerve in my body went into overdrive. My body was on a high it never experienced before, and it had no plans of coming down anytime soon.

Roman’s head fell to the crook of my neck, and after a feverish string of thrusts, he grunted against my skin. His body trembled against mine, and a moment later, he collapsed on top of me. Our breathing was loud and uncontrolled, and our hearts beat in the same erratic rhythm. Sweat covered our skin, and my hands moved to embrace Roman. My fingers curled in his hair at the nape of his neck, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his body on top of me.

Roman’s mouth covered mine, and he kissed me passionately, tenderly, pouring the last of his strength into the kiss. A few minutes later, he pulled back. His fingers pushed a few strands of my hair away from my face, and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on swirled behind his eyes. “Whatever happens . . . I want you to know, you changed me.” He dropped his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. His voice almost sounded pained. “I love you, Julia.”

“I love you too, Roman.”

And with that said, he pulled away from me. He stood to his feet and walked out the door, returning a few minutes later with a warm wet rag. Cleaning up what remained of him between my legs, he tossed the rag into a laundry basket and then lay down beside me. His arms curled around my stomach and he pulled me tight against him. His breath evened out and the slow rise and fall of his chest was a sure indicator he had fallen asleep. I snuggled against him and placed a kiss against his smooth chest, right above his heart.

Staring up at his beautiful face, I breathed a shallow sigh. “What aren’t you telling me, Roman?”

IF I WOULD
have known how the next day would play out, I would have forced myself into an eternal sleep.

But I didn’t.

So when the light of dawn pushed through the blinds, my eyes flickered open to see a smiling Roman. I stared at his mussed hair, and the little yellow specks of his eyes I never noticed before glittered in the sunlight.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered, running a finger over my cheek. I smiled at his words and wondered how long he had been up watching me. But then he scooted closer, his eyes hovering just a few inches above mine, and a swarm of butterflies took flight in my stomach as I stared at my naked reflection in his eyes. His lips curled into a smile and the warmth of it heated the blood in my veins.

“Morning,” I said, pressing my lips to his, closing the gap between us. Roman’s tongue invaded my mouth, and as he pushed deeper, my tongue met his in gentle strokes.

He pulled back, most of his weight supported by his arm. “How are you feeling?”

I smirked. “Like I’m ready for round two.”

Roman’s eyes darkened, and in a quick move, he picked me up, positioning me above him so my knees rested on either side of his waist. He nudged at my entrance, and I rocked forward and then back, taking all of him. We spent the next hour learning each and every curve of each other, and when both our bodies were completely sated, we lay on our backs staring at the ceiling.

His hand grasped mine, and he brought it to his lips. “Are you hungry?” he asked, placing a kiss against my knuckles.

Considering I did most of the work this go around, I had worked up an appetite. I rolled on my side and swung my leg over his. “Starving.”

He pulled me into him, his fingers moving along my back in soft gentle sweeps. “Pancakes sound good to you?”

“Sounds perfect, but can we just lay here a little longer.”

He dipped his chin and kissed my forehead. “Of course, baby.”

Baby.
I liked the sound of that.

We lay there, tangled up in one another, just listening to each other’s steady breathing. I glided my hands over his chest, and I moved my cheek to rest above his heart. The tips of his fingers made circular motions on the back of my neck, and it was the first time my body had ever known such bliss. My phone vibrated across the top of the nightstand, and before I could reach to grab it, it crashed to the floor. I rolled to the side and scooped it up, reading the text message from my father.

Dad: The team should be here in about an hour to discuss what they found. I wasn
’
t sure if you wanted to be here. But I wanted to give you a heads up just in case you did. If not I will catch up with you later
. . .
xoxo dad.

I clicked the lock button and set my phone back down. Lying back down, I struggled with what to do. I wanted to be there, but I also wanted to stay in the little bubble Roman and I had created.

“Everything okay?” Roman’s concerned eyes searched mine.

I nodded. “Yeah. It was my dad. He has a meeting this morning with the team to discuss what they found about the phone calls and the break in. He just wanted to let—”

“They’re meeting today?” he questioned, cutting me off.

“Yeah. I knew last night, but with everything that happened, I forgot. I kind of wanted to . . .” My voice trailed off as Roman shot from the bed. He was silent as he tugged on a pair of jeans, but the way his eyes narrowed and his jaw muscle twitched, I knew something was wrong. Before I could say anything, Roman darted through the bedroom door.

What the hell?

I flung my legs off the bed and scooped my dress up off the floor. Pulling it on, my fingers worked the zipper, and I walked out of the room. The door that was locked on my birthday hung wide open. Roman sat in the center of the room, his body hidden behind the large metal desk, his fingers tapping against the keys of the laptop positioned in front of him. Leaning against the doorframe, I crossed my arms over my chest. All the moisture from my mouth seemed to transfer to the palms of my hands.

“Roman?” I called to him, forcing a dry swallow.

Slamming the laptop shut, he rose to his feet, and the black chair shot out from behind him. He grabbed his phone from the desk, and I waited for the glass screen to crack under the pressure of his pounding fingers. Roman gripped the back of his neck as he brought the phone to his ear.

The vein that ran down his neck throbbed and the visible muscles in his chest tightened. He paced back and forth, pulling the phone from his ear and dialing a new number. When that call was also unsuccessful, he dropped the phone to his desk and leaned his fists against it.

I moved forward. “Roman,” I said, placing a hand on his back. It was like my touch was the fire that set off the firework, because the second I touched him, his arm flung out sending everything on his desk crashing to the floor. I jumped back, and Roman cursed under his breath. Turning around, he pinned me with his stare. “I’m sorry, but I need to leave.”

My heart raced in my chest. “What? Why? Where are you going?”

Not answering, he brushed past me, and I followed his footsteps back to his room. Roman grabbed one of his black, fitted tees from his dresser and stretched it up over his head, pulling it down to meet the waistline of his jeans. Spotting my sneakers in the corner of the room, I grabbed them and sat on the bed, pushing my feet into them. Roman moved beside me and yanked the nightstand drawer open, pulling the silver pistol and two loaded magazines from it.

I rested a hand against my forehead, trying to relieve the sudden lightheaded feeling. A million and one questions formed in my mind. I realize he took his gun everywhere, but what did he need with two fully loaded clips? Where was he going? And for the love of God, why was he not answering me?

The sound of my feet dropping to the floor pulled Roman’s attention toward me. He looked at me confused. “What are you doing?”

“Me?” I questioned, “I don’t know what the hell is going on but I’m going with you.”

He shook his head, pushing his gun into the waistline of his jeans. “No, Julia, I need you to stay here.”

I rose to my feet. “I don’t want to stay here!” I exclaimed.

Roman ran frustrated hands down his face. “You have to, dammit!”

His tone threw me back on the bed, and I turned my face trying to hide my hurt and shocked expression. The corners of my eyes stung, and I clenched my hands together in my lap trying to prevent their inevitable trembling. Fifteen minutes ago, we were curled up in each other talking about pancakes. And now we were yelling at each other while Roman ran around grabbing his firearms.

“Stop it, Roman!” I cried, choking on a sob. “You’re scaring me, please stop!”

Roman dropped to his knees before me, his rough hands caressing the sides of my thighs. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He pressed a kiss against my lips making it even harder to breathe. He moved his hand to grip the back of my neck, and he broke the seal of our lips, resting his head against mine. “I’m sorry. I just need you to stay here.”

My breath was shaky. “What’s going on, Roman?”

“I love you,” he said, placing a soft kiss against my forehead before standing up and walking out the door.

Thirty seconds.

That was the time it took for me to realize I was about to be left alone. Jumping to my feet, I hurried out of his bedroom and darted down the front steps of his porch. Roman was already in his Audi, his hand turning the key in the ignition as I yanked the door open.

“I’m going with you!” I demanded, sitting down on the passenger seat and slamming the door shut. Roman’s face fell in defeat, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry, disappointed, or worried, but he didn’t argue. He slammed the shifter into gear, and a cloud of dust and dirt fogged the back window as the Audi roared out of the driveway.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I snapped, breaking the uneasy silence that sat between us. I sat in the passenger seat, my arms crossed over my chest.

He inhaled a sharp breath, and I watched his chest fall quickly as he pushed it back out. “Your house.”

I looked at him confused.
“Then why didn’t you want me coming along?” His silence ignited my flame of irritation. “What aren’t you telling me?” I yelled, throwing my hands out in front of me.